Moving on.
Soooo...back home...won't be going back to school in January...
.........
...I'm not sure how to feel about this- I don't think it will fully sink in until January anyway when everyone everyone else is going back to school and I'm not. First of all, leaving school on Friday was much more anticlimatic than I thought it was going to be. I guess I had this picture of how it was going to end. For instance, over the course of the last week I had started to think about how I would say good-bye to the significant people. I thought about the different things I would say to each person to try and express what the time I had spent with each one meant to me without trying to sound too cheesy, playing it over in my head like a movie. I think I placed so much weight in saying good-bye because even though I'm not very far from BC right now, there's a strong possibility that I may not be around when everyone comes back. If I'm in Maryland or out of state in a similar job, it may be a while before I see these few people who I would consider keeping in contact with after graduation. In the end, it was a very idealistic situation and in reality turned out to be something like "oh yeah, i'm leaving. let me shake your hand". Somewhat disappointing, but I guess life usually does not consist of the hollywood endings you imagine.
So if I had to take a stab at answering that obnoxious question--how does it feel to have graduated?--I think the closest, short description would be "lost". Because I don't know what my next step is. I don't know where I'm going to be living in three weeks. I don't know what it's like to be living at home indefinitely. I don't if I'm ready to be an adult and enter the real world. I don't know about certain relationships and whether they'll survive these changes.
But on the other hand, all this uncertainty can be a positive thing. When you don't know how things are going to be, there are so many possibilities. I guess I should look at it as having tons of opportunities. That's more optimistic than I've been feeling lately though.
I promise this will be my last entry bemoaning my status as a college graduate. But I think I'm deserved atleast one on my way out. So I'm through and g'night.
P.S. Sometimes when I write in this thing at night, I feel like Doogie Howser, M.D. recounting his day's events and life lessons learned on his Apple IIe at the end of every episode.
.........
...I'm not sure how to feel about this- I don't think it will fully sink in until January anyway when everyone everyone else is going back to school and I'm not. First of all, leaving school on Friday was much more anticlimatic than I thought it was going to be. I guess I had this picture of how it was going to end. For instance, over the course of the last week I had started to think about how I would say good-bye to the significant people. I thought about the different things I would say to each person to try and express what the time I had spent with each one meant to me without trying to sound too cheesy, playing it over in my head like a movie. I think I placed so much weight in saying good-bye because even though I'm not very far from BC right now, there's a strong possibility that I may not be around when everyone comes back. If I'm in Maryland or out of state in a similar job, it may be a while before I see these few people who I would consider keeping in contact with after graduation. In the end, it was a very idealistic situation and in reality turned out to be something like "oh yeah, i'm leaving. let me shake your hand". Somewhat disappointing, but I guess life usually does not consist of the hollywood endings you imagine.
So if I had to take a stab at answering that obnoxious question--how does it feel to have graduated?--I think the closest, short description would be "lost". Because I don't know what my next step is. I don't know where I'm going to be living in three weeks. I don't know what it's like to be living at home indefinitely. I don't if I'm ready to be an adult and enter the real world. I don't know about certain relationships and whether they'll survive these changes.
But on the other hand, all this uncertainty can be a positive thing. When you don't know how things are going to be, there are so many possibilities. I guess I should look at it as having tons of opportunities. That's more optimistic than I've been feeling lately though.
I promise this will be my last entry bemoaning my status as a college graduate. But I think I'm deserved atleast one on my way out. So I'm through and g'night.
P.S. Sometimes when I write in this thing at night, I feel like Doogie Howser, M.D. recounting his day's events and life lessons learned on his Apple IIe at the end of every episode.