England | Several Weeks Later
“You can think what you’d like but I have a super power! I just have to find out what it is,” Nathan declared as he trailed behind everyone else. Yep, it’d been a few days now and he’d get to figure out a power. Everything he suggested seemed to get turned down or laughed and it was really fucking irritating.
They were picking up trash today. Nathan was just hoping they didn’t have to bury anymore bodies. That was seriously fucked up.
“What is that?” Curtis called suddenly and Nathan (and everyone else) looked up to see some pale white arse lying face down in the street. Alisha moved close enough to poke him like the brave girl she was.
“Hey nude guy? You’re naked.”
The pale white arse starts to stir and Nathan just knows they’re about to see cock and balls. Ugh, great. Simon, weird fucker he was, took a fucking picture.
“You!” Nathan recognized pale white arse’s face. It didn’t take long for Mr. Pale White Arse to get up and starting running. “Hey!”
Nathan didn’t give chase but he did stare after him. Behind him, someone asked, “Wanna tell us who that is?”
“He’s my mum’s...” He trailed off. “He lives with my mum.”
“Your stepdad has got a massive cock!” Alisha joked and that was all Nathan could hear before putting his fingers in his ears and trying to drown them out. Gross gross gross.
He does hear Simon suggest, “Maybe he’s a werewolf.”
And to that, Nathan said, “Twat.”
__
It’s just about Nathan’s worst nightmare, working with old people but that’s what’s happening today. They’re being given instructions to help them out, have fun and finally, to move. So, Nathan moved. That didn’t mean he was going to touch any of these people.
“Is he dead?” Kelly asked while they stared at some old man in a wheelchair. “I think he’s dead.”
Leaning over, Nathan yelled, “She’s stealing your pension!” That woke the old guy up and Nathan laughed. “No, he’s fine.”
Eventually, Nathan wandered off and actually tried to put in an effort by pushing some old lady far too fast while babbling about wind in her hair or some shit. When the mercifully younger and blonder chick walked in a few feet in front of them, Nathan let go of the old woman so he could stare.
That was more like it.
And now was the time to slide over and try to get his flirt on. Come to find out, she was a volunteer called Ruth and didn’t seem to believe his claims of liking old people!
“So, what did you do?” she asked, glancing up at him.
“I sexually assaulted a ninety year old woman,” he lied.
“That’s funny.”
“She didn’t seem to think so at the time. God rest her soul,” Nathan said solemnly.
___
Breaking into his house is not easy. He’s not strong and he’s trying to climb the fucking siding when his mum pulled up and honked her fucking horn.
“This morning when I was doing my community service, we found Jeremy bollock naked!” Nathan said adamantly.
“Nathan!” his mum said, shaking her head.
“I swear on my mother’s life!” Wait. “On my life.”
“You’re doing it again, you’re lying.”
“Right.” He sighed. “How would I know he’s got a massive cock? How would I know if I hadn’t seen him naked?”
“I don’t know,” his mum said. “Maybe you watched him taking a shower!”
Ugh, god. His mum did not know him at all. He did not want to see dangling cocks and balls.
“Why can’t you just be happy for me?” his mum asked.
“Because your boyfriend is some gay rapist werewolf!” he exclaimed.
His mum didn’t believe and she walked away, leaving Nathan alone. Of course. He was always alone, wasn’t he?
___
After all that, Nathan had slunk back to the community center to have a pizza in the dark. He’s sitting there, feeling sorry for himself when the lights come on suddenly. Looking around, Nathan slowly got to his feet and tiptoed down the halls, trying to figure out who the fuck was in the community center now.
He spared an idle thought for wondering if he was about to get killed. When Ruth popped up around a corner, telling him she’d forgotten her bag, Nathan’s fright morphed into smugness and he grinned at her.
“Do you want a drink?”
She doesn’t say no so Nathan breaks into the alcohol storage and snags them some beer that’d probably taste like piss but what the fuck did he care?
“Okay, so now it’s a burglary,” Ruth said, smiling slightly. Nathan just smiled and then they got to fucking drinking.
__
They’re sitting on the roof, smoking when Ruth said she wanted a photo. Never one to pass that up, Nathan let her take one and is just leaning into try and get a taste of that sweet, sweet mouth when Ruth’s focus drifted elsewhere.
“A naked man with a huge cock just ran past,” she said and Nathan turned to see Jeremy a-fucking-gain.
“It’s him!”
After grabbing for Ruth’s phone, Nathan took off after Jeremy determined to take a fucking picture and prove that he wasn’t wrong about Jeremy. He was not going to lose this one. Rounding a corner, phone held out, the last thing he expected is for Jeremy to tackle him to the ground and start licking him. Nathan thought he could be forgiven for shrieking like a little fucking girl.
As Jeremy jumped off him to run off, Nathan did manage to take a picture before trying to catch his breath and repress the fuck out of what had just happened.
___
Nathan wanted to do something about this fucking Jeremy situation. When no one but Simon had volunteered to come with, he’d decided to just do it himself which is how he came to be climbing in an unlocked window at his own home.
It wasn’t a graceful break in. Not at all. He slid in the window and...broke a plate. Getting to his feet had left him face to face with Jeremy. At least this time he wasn’t fucking naked.
“Nathan?”
“That’s right,” he breathed, pointing. “Your number’s up, you psycho nudist freak!”
Whipping out his phone, Nathan showed off the picture he’d snapped last night. “See anything you recognize?”
“What am I looking at?” Jeremy asked.
“Cock, anus, ball sack,” Nathan noted. When Jeremy didn’t seem to know the picture, Nathan said, “It’s you!”
“I don’t remember what happened,” Jeremy admitted, shrugging.
Nathan huffed and started threatening Jeremy with telling his mum about his nighttime tendencies. He wanted him out. He wanted him gone.
“No, you go,” Jeremy said. “Your mum doesn’t even want you here!”
Something about that hurt and he reared back and punched Jeremy right in his face. It felt surprisingly good. His mum, though, doesn’t see anything about it and is already pressing a rag to Jeremy’s nose before turning her anger around on him.
Apparently, Jeremy had already told his mum about his nighttime habits and literally stolen his fucking thunder. When Jeremy started explaining that sometimes he thought he was a fucking dog, Nathan has to wonder if his power’s gonna suck that bad.
Nathan made a smart comment too many about this fucking situation and his mum actually smacked him for it. She smacked him hard enough to knock him off fucking balance and for a second, she looked devastated. All Nathan can think about is that he’s gotten abandoned again and she’s chosen Jeremy the fucking dog over him.
He ran off.
___
Nathan ended up at Ruth’s. The excuse he’d given was returning her phone but she’d seen something was wrong and invited him in. He’s on her couch before he knew it.
“You don’t want your mum to have anyone else because that means she’s not there for you.”
“Don’t try that reverse psychology A level bullshit on me. I’m fine.” He’s not. Ruth’s voice is nice though and even if she’s saying things he doesn’t want to hear, he listened anyway.
“Don’t be so selfish. Grow up,” she said softly. Nathan, though, has to mock her and thankfully, she laughed before asking if he wanted a drink.
He did.
___
The sex, Nathan decided, had been inevitable. After Ruth told him that he’d have gotten laid the night before if he hadn’t gone after Jeremy, he’d finished his drink. They’d ended up completely tangled up with each other, clothing flying off as they made their way up the stairs of her gran’s (she wasn’t home) house.
Into the bedroom, the last of the clothes had been tossed away and Nathan had ended up popping off way too early. Ruth, though, had laughed. She’d laughed about his come face (not the first time) and he’d cuddled up with her and felt pretty good about things.
The second time they do, Ruth’s on top and riding him like a pro when a siren or something started going off. Nathan looked around, trying to figure out what the fuck was happening when Ruth actually smacked him.
Nathan looked up and saw...an old fucking woman. Where Ruth had once been old and hot, there was now some grey, flabby old woman riding him and he couldn’t stop her! What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.
When Ruth started coming, Nathan started screaming and pushed her off of him, running his ass into the bathroom to try and, once again, fucking repress something that had happened to him. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Eventually, Nathan did come out of the bathroom at Ruth’s cajoling. “Exactly how old are you?”
“Eighty two.” Fuck. “Eighty three next month.”
Nathan felt like vomiting.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Ruth explained. “I just wanted to be young again and I liked you.”
“I shagged someone’s gran,” Nathan said pitifully.
Nathan left soon after that even after Ruth confessed to being scared. He was just not sticking around.
___
Everyone’s dancing with the old people except Nathan. The nausea from last night has not gone away and he just wants to sit and sulk. He’s damaged goods now. How he’ll ever have sex again is a mystery.
He looked up and couldn’t not notice the old woman smiling and walking slowly towards him with such hope in his eyes. He can’t disguise the disgust and fright. He just can’t. With a shout, he stood up and ran out of the community center and away from Ruth.
Alisha, Kelly, Curtis and Simon appear awhile later, jumpsuits on and trash pickers in hand.
“Some old woman was looking for,” Kelly told him. Nathan’s stomached turned. He can’t stop thinking about having shagged Ruth and realized his mistake too late. Kelly read his mind.
“You shagged her?” Kelly asked incredulously.
“Yeah, yeah, nice one,” Nathan said. “I gave her a right good seeing to.”
“You nailed the old woman?” Curtis asked.
“Did you enjoy it?” Simon added.
“Shut up, you little freak!” Nathan bellowed.
“I think he enjoyed it,” Simon said slyly.
__
Nathan found himself at Ruth’s the next day. He didn’t exactly know why but he was there. When she didn’t answer his knocks or the bell, he opened the door and stepped inside slowly.
Ruth was dead when he found her. Slumped over in her chair, she looked asleep. Nathan crouched down and frowned. He gently pulled the photo album out of her hands and looked through it. She’d been remarkably beautiful when she was younger and it made him smile.
As the photos progressed, Nathan could tell one thing. She’d been lonely. She’d been so lonely and he’d left her. She’d reached out and he’d left her. Fucking hell, he felt awful.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly and gave her the photo album back.
___
He went to see his mum next.
“So, I suppose you’re gonna tell me you love him,” he said once she’d noticed him behind a drying sheet.
“That doesn’t change how I feel about you,” she’d answered. “I’m so sorry I hit you.”
His mum confessed she’d been worried about him and asked where he’d been living. Nathan lied and told her he’d gotten a flat with flatmates. She didn’t know he was living in a community center. For once, he wasn’t being selfish.
“If you try to get on with Jeremy, you can move back in,” his mum offered.
“I’m not being funny, a woman your age, if you don’t settle down with someone before your looks go, you’ll have no chance,” Nathan joked and his mum laughed.
She’d kissed his cheek and told him to come ‘round. Nathan said he would.
[NFB, NFI, OOC is okay! Cut, hacked and adapted from Misfits 1.02. Warning for: strong language, nudity, and some possibly disturbing images. Oh, this episode.]
They were picking up trash today. Nathan was just hoping they didn’t have to bury anymore bodies. That was seriously fucked up.
“What is that?” Curtis called suddenly and Nathan (and everyone else) looked up to see some pale white arse lying face down in the street. Alisha moved close enough to poke him like the brave girl she was.
“Hey nude guy? You’re naked.”
The pale white arse starts to stir and Nathan just knows they’re about to see cock and balls. Ugh, great. Simon, weird fucker he was, took a fucking picture.
“You!” Nathan recognized pale white arse’s face. It didn’t take long for Mr. Pale White Arse to get up and starting running. “Hey!”
Nathan didn’t give chase but he did stare after him. Behind him, someone asked, “Wanna tell us who that is?”
“He’s my mum’s...” He trailed off. “He lives with my mum.”
“Your stepdad has got a massive cock!” Alisha joked and that was all Nathan could hear before putting his fingers in his ears and trying to drown them out. Gross gross gross.
He does hear Simon suggest, “Maybe he’s a werewolf.”
And to that, Nathan said, “Twat.”
__
It’s just about Nathan’s worst nightmare, working with old people but that’s what’s happening today. They’re being given instructions to help them out, have fun and finally, to move. So, Nathan moved. That didn’t mean he was going to touch any of these people.
“Is he dead?” Kelly asked while they stared at some old man in a wheelchair. “I think he’s dead.”
Leaning over, Nathan yelled, “She’s stealing your pension!” That woke the old guy up and Nathan laughed. “No, he’s fine.”
Eventually, Nathan wandered off and actually tried to put in an effort by pushing some old lady far too fast while babbling about wind in her hair or some shit. When the mercifully younger and blonder chick walked in a few feet in front of them, Nathan let go of the old woman so he could stare.
That was more like it.
And now was the time to slide over and try to get his flirt on. Come to find out, she was a volunteer called Ruth and didn’t seem to believe his claims of liking old people!
“So, what did you do?” she asked, glancing up at him.
“I sexually assaulted a ninety year old woman,” he lied.
“That’s funny.”
“She didn’t seem to think so at the time. God rest her soul,” Nathan said solemnly.
___
Breaking into his house is not easy. He’s not strong and he’s trying to climb the fucking siding when his mum pulled up and honked her fucking horn.
“This morning when I was doing my community service, we found Jeremy bollock naked!” Nathan said adamantly.
“Nathan!” his mum said, shaking her head.
“I swear on my mother’s life!” Wait. “On my life.”
“You’re doing it again, you’re lying.”
“Right.” He sighed. “How would I know he’s got a massive cock? How would I know if I hadn’t seen him naked?”
“I don’t know,” his mum said. “Maybe you watched him taking a shower!”
Ugh, god. His mum did not know him at all. He did not want to see dangling cocks and balls.
“Why can’t you just be happy for me?” his mum asked.
“Because your boyfriend is some gay rapist werewolf!” he exclaimed.
His mum didn’t believe and she walked away, leaving Nathan alone. Of course. He was always alone, wasn’t he?
___
After all that, Nathan had slunk back to the community center to have a pizza in the dark. He’s sitting there, feeling sorry for himself when the lights come on suddenly. Looking around, Nathan slowly got to his feet and tiptoed down the halls, trying to figure out who the fuck was in the community center now.
He spared an idle thought for wondering if he was about to get killed. When Ruth popped up around a corner, telling him she’d forgotten her bag, Nathan’s fright morphed into smugness and he grinned at her.
“Do you want a drink?”
She doesn’t say no so Nathan breaks into the alcohol storage and snags them some beer that’d probably taste like piss but what the fuck did he care?
“Okay, so now it’s a burglary,” Ruth said, smiling slightly. Nathan just smiled and then they got to fucking drinking.
__
They’re sitting on the roof, smoking when Ruth said she wanted a photo. Never one to pass that up, Nathan let her take one and is just leaning into try and get a taste of that sweet, sweet mouth when Ruth’s focus drifted elsewhere.
“A naked man with a huge cock just ran past,” she said and Nathan turned to see Jeremy a-fucking-gain.
“It’s him!”
After grabbing for Ruth’s phone, Nathan took off after Jeremy determined to take a fucking picture and prove that he wasn’t wrong about Jeremy. He was not going to lose this one. Rounding a corner, phone held out, the last thing he expected is for Jeremy to tackle him to the ground and start licking him. Nathan thought he could be forgiven for shrieking like a little fucking girl.
As Jeremy jumped off him to run off, Nathan did manage to take a picture before trying to catch his breath and repress the fuck out of what had just happened.
___
Nathan wanted to do something about this fucking Jeremy situation. When no one but Simon had volunteered to come with, he’d decided to just do it himself which is how he came to be climbing in an unlocked window at his own home.
It wasn’t a graceful break in. Not at all. He slid in the window and...broke a plate. Getting to his feet had left him face to face with Jeremy. At least this time he wasn’t fucking naked.
“Nathan?”
“That’s right,” he breathed, pointing. “Your number’s up, you psycho nudist freak!”
Whipping out his phone, Nathan showed off the picture he’d snapped last night. “See anything you recognize?”
“What am I looking at?” Jeremy asked.
“Cock, anus, ball sack,” Nathan noted. When Jeremy didn’t seem to know the picture, Nathan said, “It’s you!”
“I don’t remember what happened,” Jeremy admitted, shrugging.
Nathan huffed and started threatening Jeremy with telling his mum about his nighttime tendencies. He wanted him out. He wanted him gone.
“No, you go,” Jeremy said. “Your mum doesn’t even want you here!”
Something about that hurt and he reared back and punched Jeremy right in his face. It felt surprisingly good. His mum, though, doesn’t see anything about it and is already pressing a rag to Jeremy’s nose before turning her anger around on him.
Apparently, Jeremy had already told his mum about his nighttime habits and literally stolen his fucking thunder. When Jeremy started explaining that sometimes he thought he was a fucking dog, Nathan has to wonder if his power’s gonna suck that bad.
Nathan made a smart comment too many about this fucking situation and his mum actually smacked him for it. She smacked him hard enough to knock him off fucking balance and for a second, she looked devastated. All Nathan can think about is that he’s gotten abandoned again and she’s chosen Jeremy the fucking dog over him.
He ran off.
___
Nathan ended up at Ruth’s. The excuse he’d given was returning her phone but she’d seen something was wrong and invited him in. He’s on her couch before he knew it.
“You don’t want your mum to have anyone else because that means she’s not there for you.”
“Don’t try that reverse psychology A level bullshit on me. I’m fine.” He’s not. Ruth’s voice is nice though and even if she’s saying things he doesn’t want to hear, he listened anyway.
“Don’t be so selfish. Grow up,” she said softly. Nathan, though, has to mock her and thankfully, she laughed before asking if he wanted a drink.
He did.
___
The sex, Nathan decided, had been inevitable. After Ruth told him that he’d have gotten laid the night before if he hadn’t gone after Jeremy, he’d finished his drink. They’d ended up completely tangled up with each other, clothing flying off as they made their way up the stairs of her gran’s (she wasn’t home) house.
Into the bedroom, the last of the clothes had been tossed away and Nathan had ended up popping off way too early. Ruth, though, had laughed. She’d laughed about his come face (not the first time) and he’d cuddled up with her and felt pretty good about things.
The second time they do, Ruth’s on top and riding him like a pro when a siren or something started going off. Nathan looked around, trying to figure out what the fuck was happening when Ruth actually smacked him.
Nathan looked up and saw...an old fucking woman. Where Ruth had once been old and hot, there was now some grey, flabby old woman riding him and he couldn’t stop her! What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.
When Ruth started coming, Nathan started screaming and pushed her off of him, running his ass into the bathroom to try and, once again, fucking repress something that had happened to him. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Eventually, Nathan did come out of the bathroom at Ruth’s cajoling. “Exactly how old are you?”
“Eighty two.” Fuck. “Eighty three next month.”
Nathan felt like vomiting.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Ruth explained. “I just wanted to be young again and I liked you.”
“I shagged someone’s gran,” Nathan said pitifully.
Nathan left soon after that even after Ruth confessed to being scared. He was just not sticking around.
___
Everyone’s dancing with the old people except Nathan. The nausea from last night has not gone away and he just wants to sit and sulk. He’s damaged goods now. How he’ll ever have sex again is a mystery.
He looked up and couldn’t not notice the old woman smiling and walking slowly towards him with such hope in his eyes. He can’t disguise the disgust and fright. He just can’t. With a shout, he stood up and ran out of the community center and away from Ruth.
Alisha, Kelly, Curtis and Simon appear awhile later, jumpsuits on and trash pickers in hand.
“Some old woman was looking for,” Kelly told him. Nathan’s stomached turned. He can’t stop thinking about having shagged Ruth and realized his mistake too late. Kelly read his mind.
“You shagged her?” Kelly asked incredulously.
“Yeah, yeah, nice one,” Nathan said. “I gave her a right good seeing to.”
“You nailed the old woman?” Curtis asked.
“Did you enjoy it?” Simon added.
“Shut up, you little freak!” Nathan bellowed.
“I think he enjoyed it,” Simon said slyly.
__
Nathan found himself at Ruth’s the next day. He didn’t exactly know why but he was there. When she didn’t answer his knocks or the bell, he opened the door and stepped inside slowly.
Ruth was dead when he found her. Slumped over in her chair, she looked asleep. Nathan crouched down and frowned. He gently pulled the photo album out of her hands and looked through it. She’d been remarkably beautiful when she was younger and it made him smile.
As the photos progressed, Nathan could tell one thing. She’d been lonely. She’d been so lonely and he’d left her. She’d reached out and he’d left her. Fucking hell, he felt awful.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly and gave her the photo album back.
___
He went to see his mum next.
“So, I suppose you’re gonna tell me you love him,” he said once she’d noticed him behind a drying sheet.
“That doesn’t change how I feel about you,” she’d answered. “I’m so sorry I hit you.”
His mum confessed she’d been worried about him and asked where he’d been living. Nathan lied and told her he’d gotten a flat with flatmates. She didn’t know he was living in a community center. For once, he wasn’t being selfish.
“If you try to get on with Jeremy, you can move back in,” his mum offered.
“I’m not being funny, a woman your age, if you don’t settle down with someone before your looks go, you’ll have no chance,” Nathan joked and his mum laughed.
She’d kissed his cheek and told him to come ‘round. Nathan said he would.
[NFB, NFI, OOC is okay! Cut, hacked and adapted from Misfits 1.02. Warning for: strong language, nudity, and some possibly disturbing images. Oh, this episode.]