Bingo Square: wildcard (535 words)
Author: misheard
Characters: Shinji (Matou), Issei, Soma/Shinji
Genre: Humor
Square: wildcard
Words: 535
The phone rang incessantly. Shinji grumbled and drew his covers over himself, willing it to shut up. Third ring, fourth ring... there, the answering machine had it now.
He had a few seconds of blessed silence.
The phone started ringing again.
Shinji glared at the clock before picking up the phone. “It’s four in the fucking morning, what could possibly be worth calling at this hour, you miserable-?!”
Ryudo‘s harsh voice interrupted him. “Don’t say I never did anything nice for you, Matou, because I’m doing it now. You need to delete your last journal entry as soon as possible.”
“That’s what you called me for? You forgot that normal people actually sleep so that you could tell me to get rid of a post about homewor-”
“I am looking at a video of you naked. You need to get rid of it before anyone else sees it. Do you not understand the gravity of the situation?!” Ryudo’s voice rose in volume for a moment before he forcibly calmed it. “Even if it’s impossible to delete because of the community, you have to make the attempt right away.”
Shinji rolled his eyes. “I’ll just put up a warning or something like that. I don’t have anything to hide if anyone sees me in the shower, unlike some classmates-”
“You don’t get it. I’ll have to be more explicit.” Ryudo cleared his throat. “Matou Shinji, there is a video on your journal of you having sex with another man. You are going to take it down as soon as humanly possible unless you enjoy the idea of having half the community see you with your legs around someone else’s waist.”
“...Ryudo, it’s too early in the morning to play obvious pranks. I’m going back to bed unless you can actually be convincing.” Keeping the panic out of his voice was difficult, but he accomplished it. He wasn’t going to admit any worry to that monk.
“Is that so? Well, I tried to help you,” Ryudo grumbled. “I wasn’t going to call Soma Cruz since it’s your journal and you could have handled it, but if you won’t take this seriously, then I have to warn him so he can prepare himself.”
“Don’t you dare-” Ugh. This was going badly. “If I look at my journal and there’s no such entry, you know that I’ll make sure you regret this, right?” After Ryudo made a ‘hmmph’ in reply, Shinji pulled out his laptop with his free hand and checked his journal.
...there was an entry he didn’t remember posting. With a video. A video that, once he clicked on it, he had to immediately shut off because video-him was loud and kind of embarrassing as well as being naked.
“Fine. You aren’t lying to me and I’m deleting it now.” Shinji’s cursor hovered over the ‘delete’ button, and he paused.
As silently as he could, he saved the video to a folder in the deep recesses of his computer. Then he deleted the post. Somehow, the community let him do it. “Done.”
Ryudo sounded pleased. “There. My good deed for the day has already been accomplished, and the world will never see that video again.”
“Right, never...”