Gift Fic for Kinzie
Title: Bound Bodies, Bound Emotions
Pairing/Characters: Conan/Ran
Summary: As Ran is held in the throes of a terrible nightmare, Conan wants only to comfort her, but how can he express his love for her without exposing his secret?
Rating: PG-13. It's not porn, but there is kissing.
Notes: I've been meaning to write this for a while, and only just got around to doing it, so... yeah, hopefully it doesn't suck too much.
Shinichi Kudo awoke from a dark dream filled with black wings and men dressed in black coats. The boy sat bolt upright in bed. For a few terrifying seconds, the shrunken detective couldn't breathe. It felt as though the cold, grasping fingers from his nightmare were still clenched around his throat. But then the feeling passed and he drew in a slow, deep breath.
No, he was safe. For now. The Black Org had not ascertained his true identity: that the child known as Conan Edogawa was, in truth, the high school detective Shinichi Kudo.
When was the last time he'd dreamed as Shinichi Kudo rather than Conan Edogawa? He honestly couldn't remember. He frowned, eyes squinting closed in frustration. There was a time when his dreams had been a temporary escape from his current plight. But now, all he could remember were nightmares involving the Black Org: Gin and Vodka with their guns drawn, pointed at Ran; Vermouth standing by, watching in silent amusement. Shinichi, trapped in this small, useless body, unable to reach her in time before the two hired guns pulled their triggers in tandem and blood bloomed forth against Ran's white blouse as the bullets pierced her breast...
Ran!
Shinichi flung the sheets aside and leaped from his bed. Just as he reached the door to his room, he paused, his hand resting on the knob.
Stupid. It was just a dream. Nothing more. No reason to think that Ran was in any immediate danger.
Even so, it wouldn't hurt to check on her. Just in case.
Slowly, Shinichi opened the door and padded into the hall. The agency was utterly dark; the only source of illumination came from the arc sodium lamps just outside the windows, leaving pools of orange light against the carpet. A short distance down the hall was Ran's room. Shinichi listened for a moment before carefully opening the door.
Inside, the moonlight threw bars of shadow against the bed. Shinichi took a step inside for a better look. The teenage girl lay with her back facing the door, breathing softly. She was holding a pillow against her chest, as usual.
A small smile spread across the boy's face. Good. Sleeping soundly. As to be expected. He really shouldn't let his emotions override his sense of reason.
Satisfied with his findings, Shinichi tugged on the knob and was about to close the door when he heard Ran call out in his name.
“Shinichi!” A desperate, pleading tone.
He froze, eyes widening. She'd used his real name, not the pseudonym he had concocted for his alter-ego. The shrunken detective turned his head. Ran was still lying in bed, her back facing the doorway. Sound asleep. Was she dreaming? About him-Shinichi?
Without really knowing why, Shinichi entered the room and made his way toward the bed. Ran hadn't stirred. The boy felt his heart hammering in his chest as he approached. If Ran woke up and found Conan in her bedroom, there would be a lot of awkward questions.
The boy placed both hands on the mattress and bent closer, trying to look over Ran's shoulder. But his short stature made it difficult to see much of anything without first gaining an more advantageous position. He quickly pulled himself onto the bed, praying that the old bedsprings wouldn't squeak too much beneath the added weight. Ran remained motionless. Silent. Holding his breath, Shinichi leaned forward once more...
Suddenly, Ran cried out once more. It was the noise of a small, wounded animal. The boy clapped both hands over his mouth, stifling the scream of fright that nearly escaped him. He leaned back as Ran's long, lithe body shifted and she rolled onto her back, her forearm nearly colliding with Shinichi's knee.
That was a close one... he thought, breathing a mental sigh of relief. He lowered his hands, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding until now.
“Shinichi...” Ran said softly. “Don't... Don't go...”
Now that she was facing him, Shinichi took the opportunity afforded him to study her features. The moonlight limned the fullness of her cheeks to reveal the sparkling trail of tears that spilled from beneath her closed eyelids. Her soft lips trembled slightly as she murmured something unintelligible.
Shinichi felt his chest tighten as he beheld the melancholic beauty of her features. Why? Why did he always end up hurting her? Whether as Shinichi or Conan, he always did things to make her cry. Was he really so cursed?
If only he hadn't been so stupid! If only he hadn't chased after those men in black! That day he and Ran spent together in Tropical Land felt like a lifetime ago.
“Ran...” he whispered, his voice sounding hoarse to his own ears. A voice that shouldn't belong to a child. “I'm sorry. I should have told you, that day. I should have told you how I really felt about you. If I hadn't been talking non-stop about Holmes and stuff...”
He closed his eyes, vividly remembering that moment when he looked at Ran and was seized by the insane desire to gather her into his arms and pull her body against his, their lips crashing together in a passionate kiss. Why had he hesitated? Why had he kept silent about his feelings that day when his heart yearned for that girl, whom he had loved for longer than he could remember?
Fear had paralyzed his lips and crippled his lighting-fast wits. Fear of what? Of rejection? Clearly, Ran had felt affection for him, as well; he'd just been too stupid to see it. The determination to win the regional Karate Championship in order to go on that date with him to Tropical Land; the enthusiasm she felt at the prospect of sharing a seat next to him on that roller coaster; the way she touched his hand, desperate for contact; the way she poked fun at him for being nervous around her; they were all such obvious clues! What sort of ace detective was he supposed to be if he couldn't even tell that his childhood friend was in love with him?
Now that he had found the words to express his heart's desire; now that he had found the courage to speak those words... he couldn't. He was caged within this prepubescent body and trapped by the threat of his true identity being revealed to the Black Org.
Bound bodies, never to touch. Bound emotions, never to be shared.
Shinichi silently cursed the cruel irony of his situation. If he had known what sort of fate awaited him that day, he never would have squandered the opportunity to confess his feelings to Ran.
Missed opportunities could never be regained. Or could they?
The shrunken detective opened his eyes. Ran continued to slumber, unaware of his presence as the tears still streamed down her cheeks. He swallowed hard, feeling his pulse quicken as he made his decision.
“Ran...” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “The truth is... I've been in love with you for a very long time now. So please... wait for me. Just a little longer...”
It didn't matter if she couldn't hear him. Perhaps it was better this way. He could give voice to the words that had been left unspoken for so long without any fear of revealing his secret.
Gently, he brushed away a trailing tear with one finger. Ran made a small, distressed noise before falling silent once more. If only there was some way that he could banish those tears...
Before he knew what he was doing, Shinichi leaned forward and pressed his lips against Ran's...
~*~*~*~
She always had the same dream about Shinichi. That day at Tropical Land, just before he had disappeared so suddenly. He would dart off into the crowd, leaving her to stand there, dumbfounded. Except this time, Ran didn't just stand there: she gave chase.
“Shinichi!” she called, hand outstretched. She could almost just catch the edge of his jacket. “Don't go!”
But he wouldn't stop. He wouldn't turn around. He would just keep running, ignoring her presence. Ran would begin to sprint after him. The faces of the crowd would blur around her, the people and the scenery melting into one another, as if someone had thrown turpentine on a painting. Soon, the background would darken as even the lights faded into inky blackness. All sound dissipated. Only Shinichi remained, a bright point of color on the horizon, running further and further away. And no matter how hard Ran pumped her legs, she could never reach him. He would always run from her, until his silhouette vanished into the distance, leaving her alone and bereft once more.
“Shinichi, please!” Ran screamed, feeling her legs burn with the exertion. And still, the boy continued to out distance her. “Don't go! Don't leave me all alone!”
Something was different. Blinded by her tears, Ran couldn't be sure if what she saw was real or not, but it seemed as though Shinichi was closer than he'd been before...
Wiping the back of her hand against her eyes, the girl felt a renewed burst of energy. She pushed herself to keep running. Faster. Faster. Yes... She wasn't mistaken! She was catching up!
In a matter of moments, she had somehow closed the impossible distance between them and flung herself onto Shinichi's back. The high school detective stumbled, nearly fell to the ground, but he managed to keep his footing. Ran took hold of his shoulders and spun him around so that he could face her fully.
“Idiot!” she said, feeling the tears spill over her cheeks anew. “Didn't I tell you to don't go?”
The look of surprise on Shinichi's face softened into a gentle smile.
“Ran...” he said, his voice full of warmth. “The truth is... I've been in love with you for a very long time now. So please... wait for me. Just a little longer...”
Ran felt her breath hitch in her throat. She stood frozen by Shinichi's declaration of love. He raised one hand and brushed a trailing tear away with his thumb. She whimpered. It wasn't fair. Did he really think saying that would make up for all the tears she'd shed over him?
“Idiot...” she said. “I'll always wait for you. You know that...”
And then, he tilted her chin upward and his lips were pressed against hers, hot and insistent. Ran leaned into the kiss, feeling herself go a bit lightheaded as her fingers sought for purchase. She took hold of Shinichi's jacket with both hands and pulled herself close to him. His tongue slipped into her mouth, and she moaned with pleasure. How long had she fantasized about kissing Shinichi like this? Too long, surely. Her tongue slid against his as she drew him deeper into her mouth. Now it was his turn to moan. It was a sound of frustration which had finally found release. She wondered, briefly, for how long Shinichi himself had fantasized about this very moment?
If this was a dream, Ran prayed that it would never end...
~*~*~*~
For Shinichi, all rational thought ceased with that one kiss. He was operating purely on instinct now. So when Ran's lips parted against his, he slipped his tongue into her mouth. His skin went hot and cold by turns as Ran moaned sweetly into his mouth. And as she drew him in deeper, he couldn't help but moan in turn. Finally, all his frustrated feelings had found an outlet. The kiss was everything he had imagined it to be, and more. The only thing that would have made this better was if he'd been back in his original body...
And that was a sobering thought if ever there was one.
Reluctantly, he broke off the kiss and pulled away. He noticed that Ran was no longer crying, and that there was a small smile on her face. The expression was mirrored on his own. Well, at least he could give her that much. There was still so much more he wanted to tell her; so much more that he wanted to give her... but that could wait. For now, this was enough.
At that moment, Ran's eyelids began to flutter open. Shit! Not good! Shinichi rolled off the bed and fell to the floor, stifling a string of curses as he tucked himself beneath the bed. He held his breath listening as Ran shifted about for a moment or two, and then became still once more.
When he was sure that she was asleep, Shinichi crawled out from under the bed and peeked over the edge of the mattress. Ran had rolled onto her side so that she was facing him now. Her expression was the picture of serenity.
Satisfied that her dreams would be peaceful now, Shinichi left the room and closed the door quietly behind him. With his back pressed against the door, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Someday, he'd be able to kiss her properly. And when that day finally came, he would confess his feelings for her in a right and proper manner.
~*~*~*~
The next morning, over breakfast...
“Morning, Conan-kun!”
“Morning, Ran-neechan.” He covered his mouth to stifle a yawn and adjusted his glasses. “You sound chipper this morning.”
“Well... I had a really good dream last night...”
Pairing/Characters: Conan/Ran
Summary: As Ran is held in the throes of a terrible nightmare, Conan wants only to comfort her, but how can he express his love for her without exposing his secret?
Rating: PG-13. It's not porn, but there is kissing.
Notes: I've been meaning to write this for a while, and only just got around to doing it, so... yeah, hopefully it doesn't suck too much.
Shinichi Kudo awoke from a dark dream filled with black wings and men dressed in black coats. The boy sat bolt upright in bed. For a few terrifying seconds, the shrunken detective couldn't breathe. It felt as though the cold, grasping fingers from his nightmare were still clenched around his throat. But then the feeling passed and he drew in a slow, deep breath.
No, he was safe. For now. The Black Org had not ascertained his true identity: that the child known as Conan Edogawa was, in truth, the high school detective Shinichi Kudo.
When was the last time he'd dreamed as Shinichi Kudo rather than Conan Edogawa? He honestly couldn't remember. He frowned, eyes squinting closed in frustration. There was a time when his dreams had been a temporary escape from his current plight. But now, all he could remember were nightmares involving the Black Org: Gin and Vodka with their guns drawn, pointed at Ran; Vermouth standing by, watching in silent amusement. Shinichi, trapped in this small, useless body, unable to reach her in time before the two hired guns pulled their triggers in tandem and blood bloomed forth against Ran's white blouse as the bullets pierced her breast...
Ran!
Shinichi flung the sheets aside and leaped from his bed. Just as he reached the door to his room, he paused, his hand resting on the knob.
Stupid. It was just a dream. Nothing more. No reason to think that Ran was in any immediate danger.
Even so, it wouldn't hurt to check on her. Just in case.
Slowly, Shinichi opened the door and padded into the hall. The agency was utterly dark; the only source of illumination came from the arc sodium lamps just outside the windows, leaving pools of orange light against the carpet. A short distance down the hall was Ran's room. Shinichi listened for a moment before carefully opening the door.
Inside, the moonlight threw bars of shadow against the bed. Shinichi took a step inside for a better look. The teenage girl lay with her back facing the door, breathing softly. She was holding a pillow against her chest, as usual.
A small smile spread across the boy's face. Good. Sleeping soundly. As to be expected. He really shouldn't let his emotions override his sense of reason.
Satisfied with his findings, Shinichi tugged on the knob and was about to close the door when he heard Ran call out in his name.
“Shinichi!” A desperate, pleading tone.
He froze, eyes widening. She'd used his real name, not the pseudonym he had concocted for his alter-ego. The shrunken detective turned his head. Ran was still lying in bed, her back facing the doorway. Sound asleep. Was she dreaming? About him-Shinichi?
Without really knowing why, Shinichi entered the room and made his way toward the bed. Ran hadn't stirred. The boy felt his heart hammering in his chest as he approached. If Ran woke up and found Conan in her bedroom, there would be a lot of awkward questions.
The boy placed both hands on the mattress and bent closer, trying to look over Ran's shoulder. But his short stature made it difficult to see much of anything without first gaining an more advantageous position. He quickly pulled himself onto the bed, praying that the old bedsprings wouldn't squeak too much beneath the added weight. Ran remained motionless. Silent. Holding his breath, Shinichi leaned forward once more...
Suddenly, Ran cried out once more. It was the noise of a small, wounded animal. The boy clapped both hands over his mouth, stifling the scream of fright that nearly escaped him. He leaned back as Ran's long, lithe body shifted and she rolled onto her back, her forearm nearly colliding with Shinichi's knee.
That was a close one... he thought, breathing a mental sigh of relief. He lowered his hands, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding until now.
“Shinichi...” Ran said softly. “Don't... Don't go...”
Now that she was facing him, Shinichi took the opportunity afforded him to study her features. The moonlight limned the fullness of her cheeks to reveal the sparkling trail of tears that spilled from beneath her closed eyelids. Her soft lips trembled slightly as she murmured something unintelligible.
Shinichi felt his chest tighten as he beheld the melancholic beauty of her features. Why? Why did he always end up hurting her? Whether as Shinichi or Conan, he always did things to make her cry. Was he really so cursed?
If only he hadn't been so stupid! If only he hadn't chased after those men in black! That day he and Ran spent together in Tropical Land felt like a lifetime ago.
“Ran...” he whispered, his voice sounding hoarse to his own ears. A voice that shouldn't belong to a child. “I'm sorry. I should have told you, that day. I should have told you how I really felt about you. If I hadn't been talking non-stop about Holmes and stuff...”
He closed his eyes, vividly remembering that moment when he looked at Ran and was seized by the insane desire to gather her into his arms and pull her body against his, their lips crashing together in a passionate kiss. Why had he hesitated? Why had he kept silent about his feelings that day when his heart yearned for that girl, whom he had loved for longer than he could remember?
Fear had paralyzed his lips and crippled his lighting-fast wits. Fear of what? Of rejection? Clearly, Ran had felt affection for him, as well; he'd just been too stupid to see it. The determination to win the regional Karate Championship in order to go on that date with him to Tropical Land; the enthusiasm she felt at the prospect of sharing a seat next to him on that roller coaster; the way she touched his hand, desperate for contact; the way she poked fun at him for being nervous around her; they were all such obvious clues! What sort of ace detective was he supposed to be if he couldn't even tell that his childhood friend was in love with him?
Now that he had found the words to express his heart's desire; now that he had found the courage to speak those words... he couldn't. He was caged within this prepubescent body and trapped by the threat of his true identity being revealed to the Black Org.
Bound bodies, never to touch. Bound emotions, never to be shared.
Shinichi silently cursed the cruel irony of his situation. If he had known what sort of fate awaited him that day, he never would have squandered the opportunity to confess his feelings to Ran.
Missed opportunities could never be regained. Or could they?
The shrunken detective opened his eyes. Ran continued to slumber, unaware of his presence as the tears still streamed down her cheeks. He swallowed hard, feeling his pulse quicken as he made his decision.
“Ran...” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “The truth is... I've been in love with you for a very long time now. So please... wait for me. Just a little longer...”
It didn't matter if she couldn't hear him. Perhaps it was better this way. He could give voice to the words that had been left unspoken for so long without any fear of revealing his secret.
Gently, he brushed away a trailing tear with one finger. Ran made a small, distressed noise before falling silent once more. If only there was some way that he could banish those tears...
Before he knew what he was doing, Shinichi leaned forward and pressed his lips against Ran's...
~*~*~*~
She always had the same dream about Shinichi. That day at Tropical Land, just before he had disappeared so suddenly. He would dart off into the crowd, leaving her to stand there, dumbfounded. Except this time, Ran didn't just stand there: she gave chase.
“Shinichi!” she called, hand outstretched. She could almost just catch the edge of his jacket. “Don't go!”
But he wouldn't stop. He wouldn't turn around. He would just keep running, ignoring her presence. Ran would begin to sprint after him. The faces of the crowd would blur around her, the people and the scenery melting into one another, as if someone had thrown turpentine on a painting. Soon, the background would darken as even the lights faded into inky blackness. All sound dissipated. Only Shinichi remained, a bright point of color on the horizon, running further and further away. And no matter how hard Ran pumped her legs, she could never reach him. He would always run from her, until his silhouette vanished into the distance, leaving her alone and bereft once more.
“Shinichi, please!” Ran screamed, feeling her legs burn with the exertion. And still, the boy continued to out distance her. “Don't go! Don't leave me all alone!”
Something was different. Blinded by her tears, Ran couldn't be sure if what she saw was real or not, but it seemed as though Shinichi was closer than he'd been before...
Wiping the back of her hand against her eyes, the girl felt a renewed burst of energy. She pushed herself to keep running. Faster. Faster. Yes... She wasn't mistaken! She was catching up!
In a matter of moments, she had somehow closed the impossible distance between them and flung herself onto Shinichi's back. The high school detective stumbled, nearly fell to the ground, but he managed to keep his footing. Ran took hold of his shoulders and spun him around so that he could face her fully.
“Idiot!” she said, feeling the tears spill over her cheeks anew. “Didn't I tell you to don't go?”
The look of surprise on Shinichi's face softened into a gentle smile.
“Ran...” he said, his voice full of warmth. “The truth is... I've been in love with you for a very long time now. So please... wait for me. Just a little longer...”
Ran felt her breath hitch in her throat. She stood frozen by Shinichi's declaration of love. He raised one hand and brushed a trailing tear away with his thumb. She whimpered. It wasn't fair. Did he really think saying that would make up for all the tears she'd shed over him?
“Idiot...” she said. “I'll always wait for you. You know that...”
And then, he tilted her chin upward and his lips were pressed against hers, hot and insistent. Ran leaned into the kiss, feeling herself go a bit lightheaded as her fingers sought for purchase. She took hold of Shinichi's jacket with both hands and pulled herself close to him. His tongue slipped into her mouth, and she moaned with pleasure. How long had she fantasized about kissing Shinichi like this? Too long, surely. Her tongue slid against his as she drew him deeper into her mouth. Now it was his turn to moan. It was a sound of frustration which had finally found release. She wondered, briefly, for how long Shinichi himself had fantasized about this very moment?
If this was a dream, Ran prayed that it would never end...
~*~*~*~
For Shinichi, all rational thought ceased with that one kiss. He was operating purely on instinct now. So when Ran's lips parted against his, he slipped his tongue into her mouth. His skin went hot and cold by turns as Ran moaned sweetly into his mouth. And as she drew him in deeper, he couldn't help but moan in turn. Finally, all his frustrated feelings had found an outlet. The kiss was everything he had imagined it to be, and more. The only thing that would have made this better was if he'd been back in his original body...
And that was a sobering thought if ever there was one.
Reluctantly, he broke off the kiss and pulled away. He noticed that Ran was no longer crying, and that there was a small smile on her face. The expression was mirrored on his own. Well, at least he could give her that much. There was still so much more he wanted to tell her; so much more that he wanted to give her... but that could wait. For now, this was enough.
At that moment, Ran's eyelids began to flutter open. Shit! Not good! Shinichi rolled off the bed and fell to the floor, stifling a string of curses as he tucked himself beneath the bed. He held his breath listening as Ran shifted about for a moment or two, and then became still once more.
When he was sure that she was asleep, Shinichi crawled out from under the bed and peeked over the edge of the mattress. Ran had rolled onto her side so that she was facing him now. Her expression was the picture of serenity.
Satisfied that her dreams would be peaceful now, Shinichi left the room and closed the door quietly behind him. With his back pressed against the door, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Someday, he'd be able to kiss her properly. And when that day finally came, he would confess his feelings for her in a right and proper manner.
~*~*~*~
The next morning, over breakfast...
“Morning, Conan-kun!”
“Morning, Ran-neechan.” He covered his mouth to stifle a yawn and adjusted his glasses. “You sound chipper this morning.”
“Well... I had a really good dream last night...”