idk.....
yeah, i'm feeling enlightening again.
i should be writing my psychology paper. but... whatever.
i got home from DECA states a few days ago. i made it to nationals. that means disney in april!! YEAHHHH!!
but anyway,
i'm in one of those moods where i just question what it is i'm here for. like, what is my purpose? am i on the right path? college is going to be such a scary step and as much as i claim to be ready for it, i just don't know anymore. i don't know if i'm going to end up in the right place, doing the right thing, meeting the right person. i know i shouldnt be worried about it yet, but hey, sometimes these things pop into my head. i'm starting to feel manipulated again and i really hate it. people are walking all over me and pushing my buttons and for some reason i don't have the balls that i used to. i just don't want to cause any drama or problems. like, the things that people are doing/saying/thinking are just not worth the arguement. but, that doesn't mean i don't care. yes, everything you say does hurt me, i just don't show emotions anymore. i can't afford to. i can't afford to let anyone else in right now, not with school ending so soon. just once it would be nice for something to go my way though. one time, for things to work out. idk, maybe that's asking too much.
i wish i could rekindle a few friendships. i know that you don't think i should take you back or even give you the time of day. but you have to remember that i saw something in you that no one else saw. and i still do. yeah, you really hurt me, but i didn't do too much to try either. i wish you would give me another chance. there's one.
i'm pumped for a bonding experience with another. two days out of town are sure to bring back some old memories and new ones too. i really miss you and i hope this works out.
as for everyone else, just stop talking shit. seriously, just stop. i am so fucking sick of tiptoeing around everyone. my personal life has become everyone else's means of entertainment. i have mellowed out over the years so much. like, i am not the one to start shit anymore so just stop. sometimes i wonder how you don't realize that you're hurting other people. get on with your fucking lives. honestly. life is too short.
i should be writing my psychology paper. but... whatever.
i got home from DECA states a few days ago. i made it to nationals. that means disney in april!! YEAHHHH!!
but anyway,
i'm in one of those moods where i just question what it is i'm here for. like, what is my purpose? am i on the right path? college is going to be such a scary step and as much as i claim to be ready for it, i just don't know anymore. i don't know if i'm going to end up in the right place, doing the right thing, meeting the right person. i know i shouldnt be worried about it yet, but hey, sometimes these things pop into my head. i'm starting to feel manipulated again and i really hate it. people are walking all over me and pushing my buttons and for some reason i don't have the balls that i used to. i just don't want to cause any drama or problems. like, the things that people are doing/saying/thinking are just not worth the arguement. but, that doesn't mean i don't care. yes, everything you say does hurt me, i just don't show emotions anymore. i can't afford to. i can't afford to let anyone else in right now, not with school ending so soon. just once it would be nice for something to go my way though. one time, for things to work out. idk, maybe that's asking too much.
i wish i could rekindle a few friendships. i know that you don't think i should take you back or even give you the time of day. but you have to remember that i saw something in you that no one else saw. and i still do. yeah, you really hurt me, but i didn't do too much to try either. i wish you would give me another chance. there's one.
i'm pumped for a bonding experience with another. two days out of town are sure to bring back some old memories and new ones too. i really miss you and i hope this works out.
as for everyone else, just stop talking shit. seriously, just stop. i am so fucking sick of tiptoeing around everyone. my personal life has become everyone else's means of entertainment. i have mellowed out over the years so much. like, i am not the one to start shit anymore so just stop. sometimes i wonder how you don't realize that you're hurting other people. get on with your fucking lives. honestly. life is too short.