overdue & incomplete.
Hi, you know how it is. I like late night stream of conscious ramblings, green, turquoise and grey are 3 of my favourite colors, teal is a close 4th but seems too similar to turquoise. Turquoise is a better word so it wins. I eat bagels like 4 times a year, maybe less and I used to tap dance when I was little. I associate people I know with songs, colors and foods and I’ll eat a Popsicle in the winter time. I bruise easy, and rarely ever get colds but constantly fall due to the stomach flu or random, random fevers. I always have to pee and I make the mistake of being a better friend to others than they are to me - constantly. I want to live forever or I want to die when I’m 65 and looking great for it. I have well over 50 teddy bears and still at this age want more. I don’t like chocolate but like chocolate flavoured things, but I like white chocolate and I’m afraid of the dentist. The more I stay in the less fast food I eat and I never feel like I’m eating enough fruits.
I can’t whistle, I love hanging my legs off stages and drinking Limade. I blew bubbles a lot as a child and I am sad most days. My father is my greatest hero and I love Trix cereal, looking at scenery on a train, and making wishes I know won’t come true. I wish for hot weather and deep dark green tinted blue water, I want to see a cactus in person one day and I wish you’d see how much I am worth. I’d like to learn how to shoot a gun to learn not do it, and I think there’s something really pretty about yellow when it’s of the canary variety. Some days I go back to bed after a few hours because I feel like I have no reason to be awake while some nights I feel like I am wasting time if I’m just not cleaning until my hands hurt. I want to learn many languages but know I won’t learn that many because everyone says that. I like all natural frozen yogurt not the kind that tastes like ice-cream and if I ever buy my own condo I will be able to see some body of water from everywhere.
I never flirt for real and I like to be in control of guys who are bigger and stronger than me - not aaallll the time though. I think Edward Cullen is the most contrived leading man ever, and have to stop myself when I eat lemon meringue pie or I’ll get sick. I hate crying because I hold so much in it leads to a guaranteed headache and my eyelids swell to 3x their size. I have the hardest shell minus one exposed belly, just the magic words to get in - nothing else works. I like comics, and mangas and the smell of old books. I don’t know if I have the balls (or lack the cynicism) to follow through on a chance encounter but if you find me please be charming. I like dancing on tables and the way champagne looks in flutes, wool makes me itch. I would live off cake if it wouldn’t kill me to do so, I like breakfast food and if you save me I’ll be yours forever. I keep changing the layout for this journal even though I barely update it... just let it go.
The urge to run away gets stronger almost daily, and it seems like I never know what to say or do for myself anymore. Yeah that’s my name in invisible ink under that table, somewhere far, far away. People always give me either too much or not enough credit. Sometimes I feel like I’ve got nothing to live for, peppermint tea makes me sweat every time. The only reason I would ever subscribe to a news paper would be to read the personals, I wish you would slip something made of stone into my hand. I am very belatedly becoming in touch with my girly side, and if you looked in my fridge you’d think a vegan baby lived here. I want bubble tea - right now. I’ve lost so many friends over the years, I’m beginning to think constantly being there for people and supporting them is the wrong way to do this friendship thing.
Can you still feel the butterflies? Can you see me slowly turning away? Where did the laughter go? If you held me would you feel everything I do, the good and the bad? I’m going to light some more candles and think about this and everything past. Everynight I go to that place in my head and we're there, it is uncomplicated. Oh yeah, I really like soy milk. Sorry to say but if you're looking elsewhere you won't find me - I'm one of a kind.
I’m the girl you used to know.
I can’t whistle, I love hanging my legs off stages and drinking Limade. I blew bubbles a lot as a child and I am sad most days. My father is my greatest hero and I love Trix cereal, looking at scenery on a train, and making wishes I know won’t come true. I wish for hot weather and deep dark green tinted blue water, I want to see a cactus in person one day and I wish you’d see how much I am worth. I’d like to learn how to shoot a gun to learn not do it, and I think there’s something really pretty about yellow when it’s of the canary variety. Some days I go back to bed after a few hours because I feel like I have no reason to be awake while some nights I feel like I am wasting time if I’m just not cleaning until my hands hurt. I want to learn many languages but know I won’t learn that many because everyone says that. I like all natural frozen yogurt not the kind that tastes like ice-cream and if I ever buy my own condo I will be able to see some body of water from everywhere.
I never flirt for real and I like to be in control of guys who are bigger and stronger than me - not aaallll the time though. I think Edward Cullen is the most contrived leading man ever, and have to stop myself when I eat lemon meringue pie or I’ll get sick. I hate crying because I hold so much in it leads to a guaranteed headache and my eyelids swell to 3x their size. I have the hardest shell minus one exposed belly, just the magic words to get in - nothing else works. I like comics, and mangas and the smell of old books. I don’t know if I have the balls (or lack the cynicism) to follow through on a chance encounter but if you find me please be charming. I like dancing on tables and the way champagne looks in flutes, wool makes me itch. I would live off cake if it wouldn’t kill me to do so, I like breakfast food and if you save me I’ll be yours forever. I keep changing the layout for this journal even though I barely update it... just let it go.
The urge to run away gets stronger almost daily, and it seems like I never know what to say or do for myself anymore. Yeah that’s my name in invisible ink under that table, somewhere far, far away. People always give me either too much or not enough credit. Sometimes I feel like I’ve got nothing to live for, peppermint tea makes me sweat every time. The only reason I would ever subscribe to a news paper would be to read the personals, I wish you would slip something made of stone into my hand. I am very belatedly becoming in touch with my girly side, and if you looked in my fridge you’d think a vegan baby lived here. I want bubble tea - right now. I’ve lost so many friends over the years, I’m beginning to think constantly being there for people and supporting them is the wrong way to do this friendship thing.
Can you still feel the butterflies? Can you see me slowly turning away? Where did the laughter go? If you held me would you feel everything I do, the good and the bad? I’m going to light some more candles and think about this and everything past. Everynight I go to that place in my head and we're there, it is uncomplicated. Oh yeah, I really like soy milk. Sorry to say but if you're looking elsewhere you won't find me - I'm one of a kind.
I’m the girl you used to know.