Sitting on a hill overlooking the lake
*stares at his watch as the seconds tick away*
Five hours, twenty-three minutes and eighteen seconds since I last saw her...
*runs his hand through his hair, digging his fingers into his scalp*
Of all the moronic, impulsive decisions I've made in my life - what on Earth possessed me into making the biggest one at that moment?
What would have happened if we'd actually... Judging from the way she's distanced herself from me, she'd probably hate me right now.
If she doesn't already.
Then, as if what happened in the clearing wasn't bad enough, when I heard her crying when I passed by her door, I wanted to run...to yell...to comfort her.
To do everything and nothing at all for her.
I wanted to tell her I was sorry and leave her alone forever. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone who doesn't cause her sorrow. Someone who doesn't break their promises to her.
*folds his arms over his knees and lets his forehead fall against them*
The hardest part was knowing I was the cause of those tears, that my actions were the reasons behind the most heart-wrenching sound I know. I promised I would always protect her and then I turn into the one who caused her pain.
I'd have done anything to take it away from her and inflict it upon myself. To erase the entire moment from her memory.
*tears away violently at clumps of grass, leaving small patches of dirt around him*
Why do I feel as though I'm too weak to leave this spot? Or wonder if I even want to.
Maybe it's because she's more to you than a best friend? Maybe it's because you l-
*jumps to his feet and yells*
SO WHAT IF I DO!!!?
*throws his arms up in frustration* There's nothing I can do about it now! It doesn't matter what she was or might have been. Or how I feel. All that's gone now.
*sinks to the ground, knees weak*
One foolish, impulsive moment and I lost it.
I lost her.
She's the one thing that really mattered to me. The one person I assumed would always be around.
It's only been one day and it already feels like I've lost a part of me. An emptiness that's been growing with every second I don't talk to her. Or see her...just to know that she all right.
How am I supposed to go on, continue being me when she was such an important part of who that was. Her friendship and support - her presence - I needed those.
Now that they're gone, I'm afraid I may need them even more than I've ever realized.
All I can do now is search for something to fill in the missing pieces.
What other choice do I have?
Five hours, twenty-three minutes and eighteen seconds since I last saw her...
*runs his hand through his hair, digging his fingers into his scalp*
Of all the moronic, impulsive decisions I've made in my life - what on Earth possessed me into making the biggest one at that moment?
What would have happened if we'd actually... Judging from the way she's distanced herself from me, she'd probably hate me right now.
If she doesn't already.
Then, as if what happened in the clearing wasn't bad enough, when I heard her crying when I passed by her door, I wanted to run...to yell...to comfort her.
To do everything and nothing at all for her.
I wanted to tell her I was sorry and leave her alone forever. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone who doesn't cause her sorrow. Someone who doesn't break their promises to her.
*folds his arms over his knees and lets his forehead fall against them*
The hardest part was knowing I was the cause of those tears, that my actions were the reasons behind the most heart-wrenching sound I know. I promised I would always protect her and then I turn into the one who caused her pain.
I'd have done anything to take it away from her and inflict it upon myself. To erase the entire moment from her memory.
*tears away violently at clumps of grass, leaving small patches of dirt around him*
Why do I feel as though I'm too weak to leave this spot? Or wonder if I even want to.
Maybe it's because she's more to you than a best friend? Maybe it's because you l-
*jumps to his feet and yells*
SO WHAT IF I DO!!!?
*throws his arms up in frustration* There's nothing I can do about it now! It doesn't matter what she was or might have been. Or how I feel. All that's gone now.
*sinks to the ground, knees weak*
One foolish, impulsive moment and I lost it.
I lost her.
She's the one thing that really mattered to me. The one person I assumed would always be around.
It's only been one day and it already feels like I've lost a part of me. An emptiness that's been growing with every second I don't talk to her. Or see her...just to know that she all right.
How am I supposed to go on, continue being me when she was such an important part of who that was. Her friendship and support - her presence - I needed those.
Now that they're gone, I'm afraid I may need them even more than I've ever realized.
All I can do now is search for something to fill in the missing pieces.
What other choice do I have?