(no subject)
As if I needed more proof that my roommate and I are so totally nu!Trek Jim and Bones, respectively:
It's late, our other apartment-mates are in bed, my roommate has just eaten half a piece of red velvet cheesecake and moved on to the six-inch Italian sub from Subway she's had sitting in the fridge for two days, which she's now eating out on the balcony while going on about how the fog makes it look "like we're in the blue lagoon or something!" I join her, pointing out that it looks more like that part of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland where you go through the fog and the voice goes "Dead ... men ... tell ... no ... tales..." and all the kids in your boat start crying. She hasn't been to Disneyland in four years and the ride was closed, she tells me semi-hysterically (with laughter), so she has no idea what I'm talking about. In the process of this conversation, she's dropped several bits of lettuce and olive. I tell her to pick them up. She doesn't, so I sigh long-sufferingly and do it myself. She drops some more olives, but this time she picks them up and throws them over our balcony. I go inside, closing and locking the sliding-door behind me. She bangs on it a little and makes crazy faces at me, which I ignore as I go to wash my hands in the kitchen. I'm going to let her in eventually, after I give her a little lesson about why she shouldn't be a moron. Then I look up and see that she's abandoned the door in favor of attempting to climb over the balcony railing.
"No no no no no!" I snarl, rushing over and wrenching the door open. "GET DOWN NOW!"
She complies, turning to me with a shit-eating grin. "I knew that would work," she says smugly.
"What if I had just left you out here?" I snap. "What if I had just let you be a moron and you had fallen and died?"
She giggles. "That would have been pretty funny."
I roll my eyes. "Okay, probably not died, but you could have fallen and broken your legs and then you wouldn't be able to play softball anymore. Is that what you want?"
She nods, grinning.
"Inside! NOW!" I bark. She complies, still giggling.
"One day, I'm just going to let you be stupid and kill yourself," I tell her.
"Whatever," she says.
And then we go to bed.
It's late, our other apartment-mates are in bed, my roommate has just eaten half a piece of red velvet cheesecake and moved on to the six-inch Italian sub from Subway she's had sitting in the fridge for two days, which she's now eating out on the balcony while going on about how the fog makes it look "like we're in the blue lagoon or something!" I join her, pointing out that it looks more like that part of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland where you go through the fog and the voice goes "Dead ... men ... tell ... no ... tales..." and all the kids in your boat start crying. She hasn't been to Disneyland in four years and the ride was closed, she tells me semi-hysterically (with laughter), so she has no idea what I'm talking about. In the process of this conversation, she's dropped several bits of lettuce and olive. I tell her to pick them up. She doesn't, so I sigh long-sufferingly and do it myself. She drops some more olives, but this time she picks them up and throws them over our balcony. I go inside, closing and locking the sliding-door behind me. She bangs on it a little and makes crazy faces at me, which I ignore as I go to wash my hands in the kitchen. I'm going to let her in eventually, after I give her a little lesson about why she shouldn't be a moron. Then I look up and see that she's abandoned the door in favor of attempting to climb over the balcony railing.
"No no no no no!" I snarl, rushing over and wrenching the door open. "GET DOWN NOW!"
She complies, turning to me with a shit-eating grin. "I knew that would work," she says smugly.
"What if I had just left you out here?" I snap. "What if I had just let you be a moron and you had fallen and died?"
She giggles. "That would have been pretty funny."
I roll my eyes. "Okay, probably not died, but you could have fallen and broken your legs and then you wouldn't be able to play softball anymore. Is that what you want?"
She nods, grinning.
"Inside! NOW!" I bark. She complies, still giggling.
"One day, I'm just going to let you be stupid and kill yourself," I tell her.
"Whatever," she says.
And then we go to bed.