"And I don't know why you'd want to live here..."
Disclaimer: I apologize to any and all Texans who read this, but seriously: Build roads that make sense.
So. I have been living in Texas for the past six days, and I am very happy to say that in just eight more days, I will be leaving it again, not to return for at least two months. This is seriously one of the last states I would ever chose to live (though admittedly I would chose it over Montana and definitely North Dakota). I couldn't possibly list all the things wrong with it, but brace yourselves because I'm going to try anyway.
First and foremost, the roads are terrible! They make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I am convinced that the person who designed the roads in Texas was a.) drunk, b.) high, c.) a complete moron, or d.) some combination of the other three. It is the only possible explanation for the convoluted way the roads here are set up. See, first you have your highways, which are like the freeways, except there are only two lanes in either direction. But they have exits and stuff, so for all intents and purposes, they are freeways. Then, running parallel to the highways are these things called "service roads". They are also two lanes. When you exit the highway, you exit onto a service road going the same direction you were going on the highway. If you don't want to go that direction, you have to go through this little roundabout u-turn thingy to go the other way, and when you do that it puts you on the service road running the other direction which is on the other side of the highway. So these service road things are basically one-way streets. Then you have to go down the service road (running parallel to the highway the whole time) until you get to a real street. But the real streets twist and turn and split and fork about every half-mile, and half of them are one-way anyway, and half the time you just end up going in a big circle without even realizing it. And honestly, the whole service road thing wouldn't even be necessary if you would just put more exits on your damn freeway, if you didn't have to exit in only one direction, and if you built roads that were semi-straight and actually made a shred of sense!
Time and distance to do not seem to exist here. The people in the stores are slower than molasses, and often equally as helpful. 15-minute meetings last over an hour, and the lights are all four to five minutes long. When I asked for directions to the closest Starbucks, the person told me it was "just right over there", which to me meant that it was right across the street. To them, apparently, it meant it was ten miles up the road. "Just up the road" can mean anything from actually just up the road to over an hour away. "Not all that far" is a four or five hour drive.
The insects and reptiles are a huge problem. There are these terrifying black crickets that attack me every time I put my dog out, and people swap snake stories over dinner as casually as if they're discussing the latest weather report. I have also seen at least one frog every day, though often more. So far, I have not seen any of the killer ants I discovered in New Mexico (they were as long as crickets, and twice as fat as fire ants), but I'm sure it's only a matter of time.
It never cools down here. I hate that I can never open my window. Every night I want to open my window and get a nice cool breeze, but I know that's not the answer, because even at night it is hot and humid. ARGH!
Only eight more days...
So. I have been living in Texas for the past six days, and I am very happy to say that in just eight more days, I will be leaving it again, not to return for at least two months. This is seriously one of the last states I would ever chose to live (though admittedly I would chose it over Montana and definitely North Dakota). I couldn't possibly list all the things wrong with it, but brace yourselves because I'm going to try anyway.
First and foremost, the roads are terrible! They make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I am convinced that the person who designed the roads in Texas was a.) drunk, b.) high, c.) a complete moron, or d.) some combination of the other three. It is the only possible explanation for the convoluted way the roads here are set up. See, first you have your highways, which are like the freeways, except there are only two lanes in either direction. But they have exits and stuff, so for all intents and purposes, they are freeways. Then, running parallel to the highways are these things called "service roads". They are also two lanes. When you exit the highway, you exit onto a service road going the same direction you were going on the highway. If you don't want to go that direction, you have to go through this little roundabout u-turn thingy to go the other way, and when you do that it puts you on the service road running the other direction which is on the other side of the highway. So these service road things are basically one-way streets. Then you have to go down the service road (running parallel to the highway the whole time) until you get to a real street. But the real streets twist and turn and split and fork about every half-mile, and half of them are one-way anyway, and half the time you just end up going in a big circle without even realizing it. And honestly, the whole service road thing wouldn't even be necessary if you would just put more exits on your damn freeway, if you didn't have to exit in only one direction, and if you built roads that were semi-straight and actually made a shred of sense!
Time and distance to do not seem to exist here. The people in the stores are slower than molasses, and often equally as helpful. 15-minute meetings last over an hour, and the lights are all four to five minutes long. When I asked for directions to the closest Starbucks, the person told me it was "just right over there", which to me meant that it was right across the street. To them, apparently, it meant it was ten miles up the road. "Just up the road" can mean anything from actually just up the road to over an hour away. "Not all that far" is a four or five hour drive.
The insects and reptiles are a huge problem. There are these terrifying black crickets that attack me every time I put my dog out, and people swap snake stories over dinner as casually as if they're discussing the latest weather report. I have also seen at least one frog every day, though often more. So far, I have not seen any of the killer ants I discovered in New Mexico (they were as long as crickets, and twice as fat as fire ants), but I'm sure it's only a matter of time.
It never cools down here. I hate that I can never open my window. Every night I want to open my window and get a nice cool breeze, but I know that's not the answer, because even at night it is hot and humid. ARGH!
Only eight more days...