Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Okay, I know this is over two weeks after the film came out, but better late than never, yes?
Short version: The only HP film I hate more than this one is PoA, but this is really very close, and for a whole host of reasons.
1. The scene with Dudley started out pretty well, almost exactly from the book, except that his gang was there and Mark Evans wasn't mentioned (which doesn't matter, but if I were the filmmakers, I would have left him in just as a nod to the rather amusing controversy he caused in the fandom). But then the dementor slammed Harry against the wall, WTF? Dementors don't do that! And then it like, sucked out part of Dudley's soul anyway. And Mrs. Figg ... was nothing like Mrs. Figg. And Mundungus Fletcher ... didn't exist. Which, you know, is fine, because it's not like he has valuable -- almost essential -- information for Harry later in the series or anything.
2. The whole scene with Dursleys was horrible. It was horribly written, horribly acted, and just ... horrible. And the letter from the Ministry talked but wasn't a Howler. WTF? And there was no Howler from Dumbledore!
3. Grimmauld Place wasn't brought into existence in the right way, and no mention was made of Dumbledore being the Secret Keeper. Of course, this won't prove important later in the series, so I really can't complain about it.
4. Gimmauld Place didn't look anything like I pictured it. It was all small and ... not like it is in the books. And there was no Mrs. Black. And no cleaning of the house. Not that they find anything essential to Voldemort's downfall while cleaning the house. I'm just a canon nazi.
5. Way to totally mess up the scene at dinner with Sirius telling Harry all about the Order and Voldemort's plans! In all honesty, I really can't complain about that, it's just one of my favorite scenes in the book and I was sad that it was pretty much slaughtered.
6. The Hearing was okay, I guess. Was that one woman supposed to be Amelia Bones? I couldn't tell. I hate Michael Gambon.
7. I felt like the Hogwarts Express and Hogsmeade Station and the carriages were different from previous films. Oh wait, that's because they were. Okay, I don't make films, so I don't know, but I feel like if you are filming a series, it would make more sense financially to, I don't know, use the same sets and props in each film instead of building/making/buying new ones. Like how they tear down and rebuild Hagrid's hut for every film. Wouldn't it make more sense financially and logistically and stuff to just leave it up until they finish film 7? I could be totally wrong, but I honestly want to know the reasoning behind it, because it doesn't make any sense to me.
8. Aberforth looked nothing like Dumbledore! How is that going to work later on? And who is this Nigel kid? We couldn't, you know, bring back Colin Creevy or Ernie Macmillan or Susan Bones, because they are actually in the books! And I suppose it would be way too much work to cast Marietta Edgecomb!
9. How the hell did Neville find the RoR? That was never really clear? And how did Hermione know about it? Isn't the point of the RoR that it's secret, like not in books or anything? And Umbridge would never have been able to blast her way into it! That's the point of the RoR, that's part of its magic! Don't you think it's going to be difficult to explain why Harry can't just blast his way in on Malfoy in HBP? Of course, Malfoy may not even use the RoR in HBP, since it's only central to the plot of the book and can therefore be edited away for Ron and Lavender making out. And speaking of making out...
10. The kiss was longer than I expected. And also kind of anticlimactic. And the part afterward was poorly acted and kind of lame, although it was nice that they kept in the "emotional range of teaspoon" line. And then, way for Harry and Cho to never go on a date. And way for them to never properly fall apart. That was so underdeveloped! I felt like there was way more sexual tension between Harry and Ginny than Harry and Cho. It was almost like Harry was into Cho because he knew he was supposed to and wanted to get it over with.
11. D.A. scenes were okay. But Levicorpus, WTF? Not only would none of them have known about it, but then it didn't even do what Levicorpus does!
12. Way for Rita Skeeter's Quibbler interview to not be there. That made Seamus's change of heart really random.
13. Occlumency started the same night Mr. Weasley was attacked? WTF? And what about the scene with Snape and Sirius arguing about Snape teaching Harry? Where was all the Snape/Sirius anomosity? And Sirius was way too nice and calm and mature, and not embittered and rash and angsty. And the scene with his family tree sucked. And Regulus wasn't mentioned, but since he's not important later, that's okay.
14. The whole lack of Kreacher plot! I mean, I know they weren't going to include him until JKR told them to, but then, if you're going to put him in, go all the way! Don't do this half-ass, "we had to show him 'cause JKR said" thing! GRRR!!
15. Lack of Percy plot was disappointing. Lack of all of Dumbledore's good lines just before he goes on the run (e.g. "I could break out of course - but what a waste of time..." "Don't be silly, Dawlish..." etc.) was disappointing. Lack of Phineas Nigellus was disappointing. Lack of Marietta Edgecomb was annoying!
16. The D.A. didn't get detention in the books! Enough said.
17. Way for there to be about 90 more educational decrees than there actually were!
18. Grawp wasn't very tall. And he looked CG. Well, so did the thestrals and centaurs, when it comes to it. That was disappointing.
19. The Marauder flashback, WTF? Way for James to be all ugly, and no one else to even really make an appearance, and Lily to not be shown at all. Luckily, that scene's not important to the development of anyone's character! That said, Alan Rickman did a beautiful job as Snape, as always.
20. The Weasley twins' exit was cool, but a little late. They decided to leave during exam week? Why bother at that point? And their fireworks weren't as cool as I would have liked. And I would have loved to have the part where the teachers are all summoning Umbridge to help them get rid of the fireworks because they "can't". And I would have loved, "Give her hell from us, Peeves!" but Chris Columbus is pretty much to blame for that, since he was the one who cut Peeves in the first place.
21. Harry didn't ever check to see if Sirius was there or not! Again, don't do this half-ass thing with Kreacher! You put him in, use him! Also, Snape's "Babbling Beverage" line was cut. That made me sad.
22. It would have been nice to see more of the DoM. And the Hall of Prophecy didn't look how I pictured. And then Harry could hear the prophecy just by touching the sphere, WTF? And then when he heard it...
23. THEY EDITED THE PROPHECY! Of course, I'm totally cool with this, since, you know, it's not like it's central to the series or anything. Thank God they got the scene with Dudley spot on! I mean, really, the movie isn't even that long. You couldn't spare 30 seconds to put in the whole thing? In fact, isn't it easier to copy and paste the prophecy from the book than to edit it down anyway? And if the whole thing did make the movie too long, couldn't you, I don't know, cut out Filch in front of the RoR or the D.A. in detention or some other part that wasn't in the books to begin with?
24. The Veil didn't really look like a veil. And then Sirius got AK-ed and then sort of sucked into it, instead of falling gracefully! And the Death Eaters turn into smoke and fly around?
25. Awesome showdown with Voldemort and Dumbledore! But then Harry told Voldemort he felt sorry for him? That's so not true! Harry didn't start feeling sorry for Voldemort until he started learning about his past in HBP (unless you count feeling sorry for Tom Riddle a bit in CoS, but those feelings vanished after meeting him in the Chamber).
26. The scene with Dumbledore after Sirius died = lame. Way to not tell Harry anything, including the part where you were the one who heard the original prophecy! It's no matter, that won't be important later! And where is shouting, angry, smashing-things Harry? I so wanted Harry to destroy Dumbledore's office (and if he took out Michael Gambon while he was at it, so much the better). And I also wanted the part where Hagrid says that Sirius would have wanted to go fighting and Harry says, "He didn't want to go at all!"
27. Tonks and Lupin got no screen time, which was disappointing. Kingsley was nothing like how I imagined. Bill wasn't even in it, but he'll never be important, so no worries. No St. Mungo's, I hated that! And Harry only yelled about three times, and once was at Snape, so it didn't even really count! Where was yelling, angry Harry? I want angry!Harry!
Not that there weren't things I liked about the movie, of course. Umbridge and Luna were both fantastic, for one thing.
But my favorite aspect of the film was Sirius and Harry's relationship. I loved the affection they showed between them. I especially loved that Sirius showed Harry the picture of the original OotP. It was so sad when he was talking about missing James. Sirius punching Lucius Malfoy was awesome! And Sirius and Harry fighting together at the MoM was so beautiful. Sirius calling Harry "James" just before Sirius got AK-ed was infinitely sad, and a great commentary on what Mrs. Weasley and Hermione try to point out to Harry in the book, which is that Sirius is so lonely and misses James so much that he gets Harry and James a little confused. But then I felt like there was this disappointing lack of reaction from Harry over Sirius's death. Like, he was all upset at first and Lupin had to hold him back and stuff, but then after the battle he was just kind of like, bummed out. I WANT ANGRY!HARRY, DAMMIT!
I guess they had to follow in the HP tradition of lame, cheesy endings. "We've got something Voldemort doesn't have. We've got something worth fighting for." What is that something, Harry? Your thesis needs work. Please complete your thought. That is all.
Short version: The only HP film I hate more than this one is PoA, but this is really very close, and for a whole host of reasons.
1. The scene with Dudley started out pretty well, almost exactly from the book, except that his gang was there and Mark Evans wasn't mentioned (which doesn't matter, but if I were the filmmakers, I would have left him in just as a nod to the rather amusing controversy he caused in the fandom). But then the dementor slammed Harry against the wall, WTF? Dementors don't do that! And then it like, sucked out part of Dudley's soul anyway. And Mrs. Figg ... was nothing like Mrs. Figg. And Mundungus Fletcher ... didn't exist. Which, you know, is fine, because it's not like he has valuable -- almost essential -- information for Harry later in the series or anything.
2. The whole scene with Dursleys was horrible. It was horribly written, horribly acted, and just ... horrible. And the letter from the Ministry talked but wasn't a Howler. WTF? And there was no Howler from Dumbledore!
3. Grimmauld Place wasn't brought into existence in the right way, and no mention was made of Dumbledore being the Secret Keeper. Of course, this won't prove important later in the series, so I really can't complain about it.
4. Gimmauld Place didn't look anything like I pictured it. It was all small and ... not like it is in the books. And there was no Mrs. Black. And no cleaning of the house. Not that they find anything essential to Voldemort's downfall while cleaning the house. I'm just a canon nazi.
5. Way to totally mess up the scene at dinner with Sirius telling Harry all about the Order and Voldemort's plans! In all honesty, I really can't complain about that, it's just one of my favorite scenes in the book and I was sad that it was pretty much slaughtered.
6. The Hearing was okay, I guess. Was that one woman supposed to be Amelia Bones? I couldn't tell. I hate Michael Gambon.
7. I felt like the Hogwarts Express and Hogsmeade Station and the carriages were different from previous films. Oh wait, that's because they were. Okay, I don't make films, so I don't know, but I feel like if you are filming a series, it would make more sense financially to, I don't know, use the same sets and props in each film instead of building/making/buying new ones. Like how they tear down and rebuild Hagrid's hut for every film. Wouldn't it make more sense financially and logistically and stuff to just leave it up until they finish film 7? I could be totally wrong, but I honestly want to know the reasoning behind it, because it doesn't make any sense to me.
8. Aberforth looked nothing like Dumbledore! How is that going to work later on? And who is this Nigel kid? We couldn't, you know, bring back Colin Creevy or Ernie Macmillan or Susan Bones, because they are actually in the books! And I suppose it would be way too much work to cast Marietta Edgecomb!
9. How the hell did Neville find the RoR? That was never really clear? And how did Hermione know about it? Isn't the point of the RoR that it's secret, like not in books or anything? And Umbridge would never have been able to blast her way into it! That's the point of the RoR, that's part of its magic! Don't you think it's going to be difficult to explain why Harry can't just blast his way in on Malfoy in HBP? Of course, Malfoy may not even use the RoR in HBP, since it's only central to the plot of the book and can therefore be edited away for Ron and Lavender making out. And speaking of making out...
10. The kiss was longer than I expected. And also kind of anticlimactic. And the part afterward was poorly acted and kind of lame, although it was nice that they kept in the "emotional range of teaspoon" line. And then, way for Harry and Cho to never go on a date. And way for them to never properly fall apart. That was so underdeveloped! I felt like there was way more sexual tension between Harry and Ginny than Harry and Cho. It was almost like Harry was into Cho because he knew he was supposed to and wanted to get it over with.
11. D.A. scenes were okay. But Levicorpus, WTF? Not only would none of them have known about it, but then it didn't even do what Levicorpus does!
12. Way for Rita Skeeter's Quibbler interview to not be there. That made Seamus's change of heart really random.
13. Occlumency started the same night Mr. Weasley was attacked? WTF? And what about the scene with Snape and Sirius arguing about Snape teaching Harry? Where was all the Snape/Sirius anomosity? And Sirius was way too nice and calm and mature, and not embittered and rash and angsty. And the scene with his family tree sucked. And Regulus wasn't mentioned, but since he's not important later, that's okay.
14. The whole lack of Kreacher plot! I mean, I know they weren't going to include him until JKR told them to, but then, if you're going to put him in, go all the way! Don't do this half-ass, "we had to show him 'cause JKR said" thing! GRRR!!
15. Lack of Percy plot was disappointing. Lack of all of Dumbledore's good lines just before he goes on the run (e.g. "I could break out of course - but what a waste of time..." "Don't be silly, Dawlish..." etc.) was disappointing. Lack of Phineas Nigellus was disappointing. Lack of Marietta Edgecomb was annoying!
16. The D.A. didn't get detention in the books! Enough said.
17. Way for there to be about 90 more educational decrees than there actually were!
18. Grawp wasn't very tall. And he looked CG. Well, so did the thestrals and centaurs, when it comes to it. That was disappointing.
19. The Marauder flashback, WTF? Way for James to be all ugly, and no one else to even really make an appearance, and Lily to not be shown at all. Luckily, that scene's not important to the development of anyone's character! That said, Alan Rickman did a beautiful job as Snape, as always.
20. The Weasley twins' exit was cool, but a little late. They decided to leave during exam week? Why bother at that point? And their fireworks weren't as cool as I would have liked. And I would have loved to have the part where the teachers are all summoning Umbridge to help them get rid of the fireworks because they "can't". And I would have loved, "Give her hell from us, Peeves!" but Chris Columbus is pretty much to blame for that, since he was the one who cut Peeves in the first place.
21. Harry didn't ever check to see if Sirius was there or not! Again, don't do this half-ass thing with Kreacher! You put him in, use him! Also, Snape's "Babbling Beverage" line was cut. That made me sad.
22. It would have been nice to see more of the DoM. And the Hall of Prophecy didn't look how I pictured. And then Harry could hear the prophecy just by touching the sphere, WTF? And then when he heard it...
23. THEY EDITED THE PROPHECY! Of course, I'm totally cool with this, since, you know, it's not like it's central to the series or anything. Thank God they got the scene with Dudley spot on! I mean, really, the movie isn't even that long. You couldn't spare 30 seconds to put in the whole thing? In fact, isn't it easier to copy and paste the prophecy from the book than to edit it down anyway? And if the whole thing did make the movie too long, couldn't you, I don't know, cut out Filch in front of the RoR or the D.A. in detention or some other part that wasn't in the books to begin with?
24. The Veil didn't really look like a veil. And then Sirius got AK-ed and then sort of sucked into it, instead of falling gracefully! And the Death Eaters turn into smoke and fly around?
25. Awesome showdown with Voldemort and Dumbledore! But then Harry told Voldemort he felt sorry for him? That's so not true! Harry didn't start feeling sorry for Voldemort until he started learning about his past in HBP (unless you count feeling sorry for Tom Riddle a bit in CoS, but those feelings vanished after meeting him in the Chamber).
26. The scene with Dumbledore after Sirius died = lame. Way to not tell Harry anything, including the part where you were the one who heard the original prophecy! It's no matter, that won't be important later! And where is shouting, angry, smashing-things Harry? I so wanted Harry to destroy Dumbledore's office (and if he took out Michael Gambon while he was at it, so much the better). And I also wanted the part where Hagrid says that Sirius would have wanted to go fighting and Harry says, "He didn't want to go at all!"
27. Tonks and Lupin got no screen time, which was disappointing. Kingsley was nothing like how I imagined. Bill wasn't even in it, but he'll never be important, so no worries. No St. Mungo's, I hated that! And Harry only yelled about three times, and once was at Snape, so it didn't even really count! Where was yelling, angry Harry? I want angry!Harry!
Not that there weren't things I liked about the movie, of course. Umbridge and Luna were both fantastic, for one thing.
But my favorite aspect of the film was Sirius and Harry's relationship. I loved the affection they showed between them. I especially loved that Sirius showed Harry the picture of the original OotP. It was so sad when he was talking about missing James. Sirius punching Lucius Malfoy was awesome! And Sirius and Harry fighting together at the MoM was so beautiful. Sirius calling Harry "James" just before Sirius got AK-ed was infinitely sad, and a great commentary on what Mrs. Weasley and Hermione try to point out to Harry in the book, which is that Sirius is so lonely and misses James so much that he gets Harry and James a little confused. But then I felt like there was this disappointing lack of reaction from Harry over Sirius's death. Like, he was all upset at first and Lupin had to hold him back and stuff, but then after the battle he was just kind of like, bummed out. I WANT ANGRY!HARRY, DAMMIT!
I guess they had to follow in the HP tradition of lame, cheesy endings. "We've got something Voldemort doesn't have. We've got something worth fighting for." What is that something, Harry? Your thesis needs work. Please complete your thought. That is all.