“Daughter to Father ... tell me the truth, did you ever love me?”
I hate it when people refer to God as our Father.
We were talking about it in Bible study tonight, and I was reminded of just how much I hate it. I just finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller, and in it he talks about his struggles with his own dad. He says, “Today I wonder why it is God refers to Himself as ‘Father’ at all. This, to me, in light of the earthly representation of the role, seems a marketing mistake.”
I so get that. I said it in Bible study too. “I would never apply the term ‘Father’ to God,” I said, “because it just has too many negative connotations to me.” Everyone just looked sort of blank after I said that, like they didn’t know what “connotation” meant or something. Then Aubrey, a well-meaning but annoyingly ignorant freshman, went on some rant about how people like me (she didn’t say me, exactly, but it was obvious it was directed at me) just don’t realize how good God can be. I wanted to tell her that she doesn’t realize how bad fathers can be ... but I didn’t.
To me, if I were to think of God as my Father, I would think that he just doesn’t care. If I were to speak him as a Father, I wouldn’t feel like he was really listening. I think I’d half-expect him to get out his God-sized cell phone and start checking his messages or something. That’s just not how I connect. Father God is there, but distant and mysterious, and he’s never going to get closer, and he just doesn’t care! He probably wouldn’t even come to my birthday party. Even if I asked him.
I’m always so jealous of girls who have great dads. It’s horrible, and I hate that I’m jealous, but I am. I always wondered what it would be like, you know, having a real dad. Like maybe I’d feel more comfortable around boys or something. And maybe I’d be okay with having a round face, and a horrible profile, and a “meatier” frame.
I don’t know.
But I really wish we’d stop having these Father God discussions. It drives me insane.
And it hurts me so deeply.
We were talking about it in Bible study tonight, and I was reminded of just how much I hate it. I just finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller, and in it he talks about his struggles with his own dad. He says, “Today I wonder why it is God refers to Himself as ‘Father’ at all. This, to me, in light of the earthly representation of the role, seems a marketing mistake.”
I so get that. I said it in Bible study too. “I would never apply the term ‘Father’ to God,” I said, “because it just has too many negative connotations to me.” Everyone just looked sort of blank after I said that, like they didn’t know what “connotation” meant or something. Then Aubrey, a well-meaning but annoyingly ignorant freshman, went on some rant about how people like me (she didn’t say me, exactly, but it was obvious it was directed at me) just don’t realize how good God can be. I wanted to tell her that she doesn’t realize how bad fathers can be ... but I didn’t.
To me, if I were to think of God as my Father, I would think that he just doesn’t care. If I were to speak him as a Father, I wouldn’t feel like he was really listening. I think I’d half-expect him to get out his God-sized cell phone and start checking his messages or something. That’s just not how I connect. Father God is there, but distant and mysterious, and he’s never going to get closer, and he just doesn’t care! He probably wouldn’t even come to my birthday party. Even if I asked him.
I’m always so jealous of girls who have great dads. It’s horrible, and I hate that I’m jealous, but I am. I always wondered what it would be like, you know, having a real dad. Like maybe I’d feel more comfortable around boys or something. And maybe I’d be okay with having a round face, and a horrible profile, and a “meatier” frame.
I don’t know.
But I really wish we’d stop having these Father God discussions. It drives me insane.
And it hurts me so deeply.