Devil's Paramour
And that's when I spotted someone amongst the group.
The recognition was instant.
Oh. My. God.
“Xiumin?”
--24 Hours Earlier--
I woke up in his arms and found that it was dark outside. My head felt light and like it was full of air, but my body was full of lead and brought my head back down in to the pillows. I'd cried hard enough to pass out and I'd gone in to a very deep sleep. Kris had as well it seemed because he didn't budge when I carefully slipped out of bed. Falling asleep in my clothes always left me uncomfortable, so I shed them quickly and opted for a shirt of Kris'. I picked out one of his suit shirts from the closet and put it on. The long dress shirt hung down to my thighs and the sleeves fell past my wrists. I'd always had a small fantasy about wearing my boyfriend's clothes.
It was past 11pm, the moon was out along with the stars. The air was warm despite how late it was, there was only the slightest breeze that pushed the dress shirt against my legs. I opened up the balcony doors and spent a few minutes alone in my own head. A sighed heavily as the question came to me: What just happened?
Kris confessed that he still loved you, my mind answered me immediately. It sounded a little excited about it even though I told it to be cautious. This could all be fake, he could be tricking me again to earn my trust just to crush me again.
But the way he held you, the things he said, how could he fake all of that? This was a whole new monster I was dealing with. I had to remember that Kris was much more devious than my gentle giant. He'd slept with a ton of women for a week just to prove a point. This man had raped me and hit me and-
But he loves you. You've always known this haven't you? Maybe. And maybe not. Love was not when you felt only pain and misery. Sure love could hurt, but it didn't set out to hurt you.
Then what do you call your reason for breaking up with him? Protecting him, giving him what he wanted. Letting him go so he could have what he wanted...at least what I thought he wanted.
You still love him like that. You still love him, and the person he's turned in to. At least you're learning to love this new man. Yes I am. He's broken but he's beautiful. I've always had a thing for protecting and coddling the broken ones haven't I?
He said he'll try and be better to you. Will you give him a chance? I don't know. I'm scared.
“Lover?” Kris' soft and deep voice made me jump slightly. My monster was sitting up on his elbows but his head was hung back. He looked incredibly tired but calm. I went to him and got back in to bed, under the covers and was welcomed by his embrace.
“What time is it?” he asked while rubbing his nose in to my hair. He hooked a long leg over my body. A satisfied sound left me before I could stop it.
“Almost midnight.” I whispered.
“What were you doing?” his voice tickled my ear and I craned my neck away to look at him. He was staring at me with out blinking.
My body was acting on it's own; it leaned forward and pecked his lips several times before he rolled us so I was laying on top of him. His fingers danced down my back until they tucked themselves under the hem of the long shirt. While he deepened our kiss, his hands slid the shirt up so his fingers could go under my briefs and fleet around the cleft of my ass to tease. I let go of his lips to moan softly. Kris kissed my cheek and sat up with me in his lap. I thought we were going to do some foreplay or something, but I was picked up and carried downstairs. I locked my ankles and hands to hold on as we ascended the grand stair case.
When he walked in to the kitchen there was a handful of servants still awake and talking amongst themselves. They froze in shock to see their employer; only one held back a smile at the sight of me in his arms. Sulli shooed the other maids and butlers away and asked if Kris needed anything in particular. My keeper dismissed her kindly and my favorite maid left while giggling. I was placed on one of the counters . The marble was freezing and I yelped before tucking the shirt under my bottom. Kris leaned over me, and we kissed again. He was kissing me a lot, but not advancing on me. Which I found terribly odd. His large hand threaded through my hair and I opened my mouth to welcome his warm tongue. I placed my hands on his chest, he was still wearing his clothes from earlier, and grabbed the fabric to bring him closer.
But he stopped and walked away from me suddenly. I was left panting and needy. Kris patted one of my legs and started to walk around the kitchen with a busy manner. The clang of a few pots and seeing my keeper turn on the stove made me realize he was going to cook for me. A smile spread over my face and I tucked my legs against my chest. Even though I was the better cook, Kris used to try and make things for me anyways. The only thing he'd actually been successful with was...
Kris took a few packs of spicy ramen down from a cupboard and filled up a low and wide pot with hot water. He placed the full pot on the stove and then crossed back over to me.
“Still can't cook?” I teased and wrapped my legs around his waist again. Kris shrugged but shook his head as an answer. The laugh I let out surprised me, but I ignored it. For a second I thought I saw a blush on his cheeks but he cleared his throat and it was gone.
“It's never too late to try.” he defended with a smile. It was said lightly, but it hung heavy in the air. Was what he said actually true? Sure, if it was cooking we were talking about. It was indeed never too late to try. But what about us? This damaged thing that was us, was it too late to try?
I didn't respond and shuffled my hips forward to meet his. Kris grabbed my face, not forcefully, and made me look him in the eye. I wasn't sure where to look or why I was so nervous. But he was staring at me and it wasn't until his gaze softened and he leaned forward closer that I realized he was admiring me. He was honestly just looking at me to look and show that he appreciated that he got to look. His thumbs massaged my neck steadily and made warm paths down to my collarbone. The first few buttons of his white dress shirt were undone to reveal more of my skin.
When his eyes followed his thumbs down he suddenly brightened with an idea. He quickly stepped back and made a beeline for the refrigerator, opening up the freezer half. I watched him curiously, until he pulled out something that made me frown. Not because I was upset, but because I couldn't understand why he wanted to eat that when he'd just turned on the water to make us dinner.
With a grin Kris walked back to me and kissed my ear sweetly, “Will you lay down my love?”
I thew him a timid look but did so. The coolness of the marble through the shirt felt nice against my back, I laid down with my knees bent and my hands clasped over my stomach. My throat released a high squeak when I was suddenly yanked to the edge of the counter; my knees hung off the edge with the rest of my body displayed on the hard and cold surface. I suddenly felt very exposed and crossed my legs and hugged myself. Kris looked down on my with such a loving yet mischievous smirk that I trembled slightly. He held up what he'd taken from the freezer and set it beside my head.
“I've always wanted to play with you like this lover. Will you let me?”
My hesitation made him look worried. I eyed the item in his hands and then slowly nodded my consent. Kris sighed in relief and then opened up the container of ice cream, shoved a spoon in to the frozen dessert and then put in his mouth. We'd fooled around when we were young, in the jacuzzi and we'd tried different positions. But we'd never, I'd never, had sex like this before with any man. I watched him move the ice cream around in his mouth and then swallow. He took another bite before unbuttoning the dress shirt all the way and pulling off my underwear to leave me naked and exposed. When he kissed me I could taste the sweet vanilla bean on his tongue. It was cool and soft to my tongue, I opened my mouth to welcome the taste and moaned as he kissed me harder. Our lips separated with a smack. He continued with his sweet kisses, tossing the ice cream back and forth between our mouths until it was nothing but a sticky sugary mess. My hips were gyrating against his hard, the fabric of the shirt making it easy to slide back and forth against the marble. I moaned loudly when he put ice cream in his mouth and purposefully sucked at my chest, leaving a trail of white cream down my navel.
My whole body arched when Kris put my erection in his mouth along with a fresh scoop of ice cream. Everything was warm and wet and cold and tingly. I couldn't keep still and I was stuck between trying to get away and shoving myself further in to his mouth. Though the latter prevailed and my hands naturally tangled in his hair as he let me mouth fuck him. He hadn't gone down on me once during my stay with him. I'd forgotten how good a blow job felt; never mind the sensation of the cold and wet ice cream surrounding my length. That sensation paired with his tongue massaging and his lips sucking, I came undone too quickly. I came down is throat with a scream of his name and my nails digging in to his skull. And he didn't even stop then, he continued with his mouth and kissed his way further down until his tongue was licking at my entrance, and then my inner thighs, and then the back of my calves and up again until my bottom half was thoroughly covered in his kisses and licks.
I reached for him when he was done, he pulled me to sit up and hold me tight. And I held his gaze as I tugged at his hard dick. I kissed him passionately as my thumb teased his head, my lips skipping down to suck on that special place just under his ear. It had always been his soft spot, a place I'd marked when we were teenagers. I enjoyed kissing it again, nibbling it until it was pink and then sucking harshly as he gasped and came in my hand. The ramen was forgotten, and I was carried upstairs to his room where we entered the shower together.
Kris whispered things to me in that shower, as he stood behind me under the hot stream. As the glass fogged up he continued to confess his love for me, his hands gliding up my wet skin that was so sensitive after my first orgasm. I whimpered in his arms and leaned against the tiles while he finger fucked me and jacked me off. My monster consumed me, had his way in so many ways. In the shower with me pressed up against the wall, on the sink with my head banging against the mirror, on the bed with me riding on top, out on the balcony with the wind in our hair and my legs wrapped around his hips and arms holding me tight.
My monster consumed me and I let him, hell I wanted him to. My monster, he was mine.
We collapsed on the bed together in a daze, all I could feel was the plush blankets beneath me and the smooth warmness that was Kris on top of me. It was enlightening and healing, bruising and suffocating. So warm and soft and smooth and it felt wonderful. If my monster continued to have me like this every night, I'd surely give in to my love for him.
~ ~ ~
I'd never woken up so satisfied and happy before. I woke up very excited yet shy when I was younger and after our first time together. I'd woken up scared and unsure my first night in this mansion five months ago. This was the first time ever that I woke up in his arms with a relaxed smile on my face. Kris was an angel in his sleep and I kissed his lips and snuggled closer. To feel small and protected by him again...for now satisfaction would be the feeling that was in my chest. I felt him kiss my forehead to let me know he was awake as well, his arms squeezing me tight against him.
We were busy smiling, laughing, and kissing when a knock on the door interrupted. Lay let himself in and his eyes widened in curiosity at the sight before him. The stoic butler had a tray that held a small breakfast atop it, hot and steaming.
“Sir, good morning.” Lay eyed me with the smallest smile and came forward with the tray to set it on the nightstand. Kris sat up in bed and pulled me with him, tucked me in to his side as Lay prepared the coffee. The butler did his best not to keep glancing at us but failed.
“Something the matter Lay?” Kris noticed the quick stares and the way Lay seemed to be biting back a smile. The butler tried to act innocent and shook his head. With quick steps the butler walked to the balcony doors and pulled the curtains apart to let the sunlight flow in. The golden light made everything bright and illuminated, including Kris' halo of blonde bed head.
“Are you sure Lay? Is there something you need to say?”
Kris was teasing, because he knew exactly why Lay was a little smiley that morning. And really not a lot made Lay show emotion on his face. The servants that had been in the kitchen last night had shown a similar reaction of surprise yet happiness. They were happy to see me and Kris getting along, acting loving towards one another. I couldn't imagine how grateful Lay was to see us like this; he'd seen my torn apart and crying the most.
“Nothing much Sir, I was going to tell you that Mr. Kim was missing from his room, and I looked for you there at first since you moved in there. But here you both are, so there is no message to give.” Lay bowed his head slightly and then asked if I was hungry. When I nodded he briskly walked out to get me something to eat. Kris pulled the black folder Lay had left behind, clicking his pen and scanning through the documents as he sipped his coffee. I sighed and rested against him, looking over his shoulder but not being able to read any of the print in Chinese.
“Are you excited about the party tonight?” Kris asked while he read through one of the many papers.
“I guess.” my shrug of nonchalance made my keeper put down his folder and frown at me. I frowned back and we ended up smiling and kissing again. I'd missed kissing him like this; sweetly and willingly. I could feel his affection and his smile in every touch of his lips.
“You don't like parties?” he chuckled. I shook my head with a pout and puckered my lips. I wanted more kisses, I wanted all of this affection he was giving to me so easily. “Why not?” he questioned but gave in and his lips sucked on mine gently.
“I don't like all the snobby rich people.” I explained. Kris gasped and laughed loudly.
“But I'm one of those snobby rich people!” he was smiling so much and it was so nice to see.
“Yeah but you're different! You're handsome and I love you!” I said with out thinking, the biggest smile on my face. His laughing paused immediately and my face fell. We both froze in shock at the phrase I'd blurted out.
Had I just said that out loud? What had I...damn it Minseok damn it all to hell.
Not once had I said 'I love you' back the day before. I'd sobbed in his arms, I'd kissed him and we'd made love and he'd confessed and we'd both cried but I had never said it back. Wasn't sure if I wanted to say it back just yet. Did I want him to know that I loved him still? Did I love him still?
Yes you idiot, my mind sighed tiredly.
“Minseok,” Kris crooned against my neck. My shiver was involuntary but letting him lay on top of me was not. “You love me still?”
I shook my head, but that didn't phase him. He still seemed overjoyed at my words, elated and nothing could bring him back down. I'd already said it, it was too late. My fear was irrelevant to his smile and his embrace. Kris had heard it, he believed it, if only I could let myself believe it.
“Don't leave me again.” he whispered in to my neck, “We can make this work. Just promise not to leave me again and I'll take care of everything.”
Oh my heart. Oh my soul. Oh my fear. But oh my hope that calmed them all and made them bow and give in. “I won't. I promise.” my small voice whispered back.
It was never too late to try again. If hope existed then wasn't anything possible? Couldn't we fix this thing between us? I wanted to fix it. Maybe my giant was no more, but my monster was here and I loved him. I wanted to care for him and protect him. He loved me dearly despite his faults and anger. He needed me and I would not abandon him again. I wanted to stay with him, I'd hoped for it in the first place hadn't I? I'd dreamed about him night after night post our break up. He was my one and only, he was it for me and my first love. Kris Wu Fan, my monster. I loved him.
My heart opened up, a great sigh of relief left my lips, “I love you.”
His mouth was warm against mine, I could feel the thrum of our heartbeats falling in to sync.
Oh my heart. Oh my soul. Oh my hope. And Oh my love that brought them all together and made them dance and give in. “I love you.”
~ ~ ~
Sulli's smile was so wide I thought her face was going to split in half. When she noticed me glaring she cleared her throat and tried to concentrate. Another spritz of water went in to my hair followed by some styling wax, the lovely maid pulled and messed with my auburn hair until she was satisfied. It stood up and gave me a sophisticated yet rocker vibe. I scooted away when Jinyoung came up to me with powder and a make up kit. I was not comfortable with the idea of make up on my face.
“Kris said to make you look like a dream.” Sulli made me face the mirror again and beckoned Jinyoung forward again. Sandeul was behind us all with my clothes on an ironing board, melting away an creases left in the expensive shirt and pants.
I grimaced but let the make up be applied, my eyes teared up several times while Sulli penciled on the eyeliner. But I had to admit when I looked in the mirror was stunned by my own appearance; the light black rim around my eyes made them look wide and alluring. The powder had made my already pale skin look extra smooth and porcelain. Sandeul and Jinyoung helped me in to my outfit and didn't let me adjust anything including my own zipper. I gave Sandeul quite the affronted look when he grabbed my junk to stuff it in to my pants. He backed away quietly when he was done and excused himself.
“Which one do you want?” Sulli asked while holding up the four pairs of suspenders Kris had bought for me. I studied them all and asked to try on the all black ones. I actually liked the look of the straps going down either side of my chest. It gave me a nice look. I tried on the deep brown pair and wasn't satisfied, the gray pair and found they blended in too well, and the black and white stripped pair. I was stuck between the black ones and the stripped ones when Sulli suggested the latter. She said they were more fashionable and stood out in a good way. Jinyoung came over and forced me to sit down so he could put on my shoes and socks; I whined about this for a few minutes because I was not a freaking child and I could dress myself. But he did it anyways while Sulli put on my diamond studs, the ones from Kris, and added one of the many watches gifted to me as well. A few splashes of cologne and I was complete. I did a twirl for the servants.
Sulli presented me with a long and wide satin box that I stared at with confusion. Was it another gift from Kris? “It's going to be a masquerade Xiumin, Kris had this ordered for you.”
A masquerade. I'd never seen it coming.
Quietly I opened the box to reveal my mask for the night. It was beautiful to say the least. It was lace, woven beautifully and fanned out elegantly. When I picked it up points on it sparkled and I realized there diamonds embedded in to it, a huge one at the center and others sparkling around it. It was feminine, but I really loved it. The servants helped me put it on, tying the ribbons under my hair. Looking in the mirror, I felt like I was dreaming.
“You are a sight he is going to drool over.” Sulli smiled behind me. I blushed at her words and shrugged lightly. With a giggle she tugged at my hand and led me out of my room. It was time to see Kris and go downstairs with him. It was after eight already and all of his guests were already present and socializing downstairs.
“Minseok.” My lover grinned when he saw me. I stopped him from embracing me because I wanted to get a good look at him in his suit. The feeling was similar from the shop when he'd first tried it on. But this time his hair was properly groomed and he had coal rimmed eyes. He looked absolutely dashing and sexy in it. He smirked down at me and his fingers came up to trace the mask over my eyes.
“Do you like it?” he was referring to my lace mask. He didn't have his mask on yet. I nodded silently and rested my cheek on his open palm. His thumb caressed my cheek and he leaned down to steal a kiss.
Lay called him over and presented a satin box just like mine. I didn't mean to, but I ended up frowning when I saw how cool and manly his mask was. A simple shiny red mask, it was bold and it matched his shirt, tie and vest in color. It was so simple yet it fit him so well.
“How come you get a cool mask?!” I cried. My foot stomped and my hand ended up landed on my hip with attitude. Kris' brow arched in surprise and question. When he realized what I was complaining about he rolled his eyes all the way to the back of his head.
“Don't be a brat lover.” he growled.
“Don't call me a brat! Why do I get to look all girly and you look all manly and cool!” I whined and stomped my foot again. Kris sighed with annoyance and screamed at Lay to quickly get the mask on. The butler was already placing the plain red mask over his employer's eyes, tying the black ribbon behind his head. I crossed my arms over my chest and continued to glare and pout. When Kris was fully dressed he kind of intimidated me. The red mask covered his forehead, cheeks, and nose. It left his stern jawline and full lips, and his strong eyes watching me closely.
“Are you done with your tantrum?” Kris looked in the mirror and made sure his suit was in place before walking over to me again and pulling me against him. I huffed and pushed against his chest.
“I was not throwing a tantrum...” I muttered and didn't meet his gaze. He held my chin and our eyes met. I could see the smile in his eyes, gaze still soft even though he was technically scolding me. In a moment I rose on to my toes and kissed his lips quickly. His mask hit mine lightly and we laughed softly together. “But why is your mask so different from mine?” I reiterated. Kris pulled away but held my hand.
“Because I am the devil.” he stroked my mask as Lay opened up the bedroom doors. “and you are my angel paramour.”
He was going for a costume route then. He was supposed to be the devil himself; clad in shiny black and blood red. And I was his angle lover with soft gray and silver, a lace and diamond mask instead of wings. I was the devil's paramour, he was the angel's keeper. A perfect match. He held my hand tightly as we exited his bedroom, making our way out in to the hallway and towards the grand stair case. Below us chatter could be heard, the flow of a small orchestra and plenty of laughter flowed up and through the walls. The second we appeared at the foot of top of the stairs, all talking ceased and a few hundred masked faces looked up at us. I froze up, and would have backed away slowly if it weren't for Kris pulling me along with him. All the different colored masks followed our movement and finally watched us in silence when he landed on the large front floor. There were so many people. Plenty of ladies. Some in full blow ball gowns and others in slim cut cocktail dresses. The men were either in sharp suits like Kris, or dressing it up with tuxedos. But every single person had a mask on, covering half their face and casting shadows to make their eyes black pits. It was creepy.
With the clap of his hands, Kris lightened the atmosphere and it felt like the lights came up, suddenly everyone smiled and seemed friendly, the music started up again and the conversations flowed. I gave him an odd look and he shrugged, pointing me to the left. As we walked by a few guests greeted Kris, my keeper smiled and waved but held on to me. We ended up in front of a small ensemble of musicians. Kris moved close and leaned in to talk to the violinist. After he was done the man turned to his group and gathered them close for a short meeting. As we walked away the music started again, but this time a bit more upbeat and with a faster tempo.
“There's a lot of people.” I whispered in to Kris' ear.
“There is. And a lot of them will be wanting to talk to me through out the night. If you get bored feel free to leave me and run about.” he said back. I wrapped my arm around his neck to pull him close.
“You trust me to run around on my own? Aren't I a hostage?” I teased and kissed his ear. Kris chuckled against my neck and kissed it back.
“You are my lover. With a contract of course.” he joked and I giggled. And as he leaned in for a kiss a plump man and a few others in tuxedos strolled up and took Kris' attention. He was at attention and quickly engaged in conversation. As he said, I got bored quickly. I squeezed his arm to let him notice that I was leaving to go around on my own. His hand patted my shoulder as I left, and then I was making my way around the crowd. Everyone noticed me. I was, after all, the person who'd been beside Kris when he'd made his grand entrance. Quite a few of them nodded their heads in greeting, I nodded back. But with so many strangers I started to feel a little claustrophobic. I couldn't turn one way or another with out almost bumping in to someone. I needed a drink.
“Mr. Kim.” a small giggle rang in my ear. I turned and sighed in relief. Sulli held a tray of champagne in one hand, a tall glass of wine by itself in the other. She handed me the glass of wine and I gave her a questioning look. “Kris asked I give you this.”
Sulli was dressed in her usual maid outfit; black pencil skirt and black long sleeved blouse, white apron and white gloves. The only difference tonight was that her hair was pinned back and she donned a sleek and minimal black mask as well. But I knew her smile anywhere. I gladly took the glass and sipped a bit. Before she could leave though I pulled her back and begged her to let me hang out with her for the party. She stared at me wide-eyed.
“You want to hang out with me? At this party? The great Kris' lover chilling with the maid at a grand party full of rich people?” she sneered and stuck her hip out. I pouted.
“Exactly. I don't know these people and there's too many of them.”
Sulli rolled her eyes but told me to head in to the kitchen if I wanted to. I smiled and skipped my way there, weaving in and out of the bodies that clustered too close for my liking.
I was turning the corner in to the kitchen when I almost collided with someone. Well technically I did, our shoulders impacting. But my wine didn't spill so I deemed it a non-tragedy. The man grunted and looked down at me with an annoyed glare. His black hair was askew and he wore a black suit. The tie was black, the vest was black and everything was black. From his backwards horn hook earrings to his rings embossing his fingers. Even his mask was black. It was stunning really. Made out of some form of metal material but not solid, see through but so entangled that you couldn't recognize who was under it. It formed to shape a wide and angry skull. He was the only person with a mask covering most of his face, only his eyes remained and they looked pretty pissed. I cringed and quickly apologized. I didn't want to insult one of my lover's guests. At the sound of my voice the stranger seemed to relax.
“Lucky you're cute.” he muttered, and he walked away with a glass of brandy in hand. I tilted my head, because none of the other guests were being offered brandy. Only champagne...
I shrugged. Maybe he'd been smart enough to go in to the kitchen and demand a stronger drink. I continued on and felt my shoulders loosen as I entered the familiar atmosphere. The servants were busy though, running in and out with trays of drinks and small snacks. I recognized Jinyoung as he picked up a tray of champagne and made his way out, throwing me a smile as he scurried past. Tao spotted me and gave me a stern look. But I stuck my tongue out and perched myself on a free counter. I was out of the way and not bothering anyone, I was aloud in here if I pleased. The meanie butler was about to tell me something when Lay rushed in and grabbed his arm, gasping about some Kris wanting Tao out on the floor. Something about Kris feeling uneasy about a guest and what not. The meanie butler left with out another glance at me and went out, leaving Lay in charge of the kitchen and over seeing the other servants as they went back and forth.
When Sulli saddled up beside me I offered her a sip of my wine. She gasped a thank you and chugged back the rest. I cried about it but she shut me up by fishing me out the rest of the bottle from the fridge. With my full bottle all to myself, left alone on the counter of the kitchen I knew best, I felt at ease and leaned back happily.
Lay spotted me later on, it was well past 9 o'clock when he came toward me and asked me what exactly I was doing in the kitchen.
“Having fun!” I smiled and swirled around my fourth glass of alcohol. Lay's eyes pierced right through me and reached for my glass. We were in the middle of a struggle; Lay craning his arm and me holding my wine away from him, and my other hand shoving at his face with his forearm holding my face back against the cabinets. Sulli appeared again and removed Lay,
“Boss, he's not harming anyone. Kris wouldn't mind.”she pointed out. Lay grimaced at that and turned to me again. But Sulli stepped between us and put her hands on his shoulders. The way the butler froze up, the tiniest hint of a blush on his cheeks, caught my attention. Was that...
“Boss!” Sulli cooed, “Let's leave Xiumin to his wine, and we can get a glass of champagne ourselves. Okay?” she suggested. Lay stuttered and tried to argue. Lay never stuttered...the butler in charge sighed and turned on his heel. Sulli threw me a thumbs up and followed him. I watched them cross the kitchen to the opposite counter, Lay barking out orders and Sulli beside him quietly setting up glasses and small sandwiches on platters. Whenever she bumped in him, a small smile formed on his lips. That seemed very peculiar. It was so peculiar I chugged down another glass of wine, loving the sensation it lulled over my skin.
Five glass, six, and seven just for fun. How many cups could I get out of this bottle?
When I'd finished all my wine and my body felt like it could float on air, I swooped down from the counter and stumbled out in to the main party. Everything movement felt warm and made my head swim. People seemed to look a little funny and I giggled at their faces. I giggled until I collided with someone much taller than me. I glared up at them and then my lips fell in to a loop smile.
Kris stood in front of me and stared down at me, “You're tipsy.” he accused. My lips mumbled but the words didn't exactly connect. My keeper laughed and held me close. His cologne was enticing and I clung to him, grabbing at his neck to make him kiss me. God I loved kissing him. He was so dominant when it came to kissing. I was so ready to have my mouth fall open and invite his tongue to lick up every sound he could pull out of me.
“Stop being naughty,” he hissed in to my ear, “before I molest you in a dark corner.”
I moaned slightly too loud and pressed my hips against him. I wanted him to take me then, right in front of all these rich snobby people. I wanted them to see how Kris claimed me, how he fucked like a god and bent me in half for his desires. I wanted everyone to watch as the devil had his way with his paramour. I tugged at his tie and our lips finally met. I eagerly bit at his bottom lip and ran my fingers in his hair. He growled in to my mouth and I found the back of my head hitting something hard.
He had indeed backed me in to a corner. One near the kitchen, and it was dark and hidden. My legs opened for him and he kissed down my jaw, tugging at the buttons of my collar to have access to more skin. I happily rutted against him, feeling myself grow hard with his cologne in my senses and his fingers exploring me. He rubbed at my nipples through the shirt and the small friction of the fabric made me sigh and thrust up in to him harder. I wanted him all over me, my body felt tingly and warm and he was warm and I wanted everything to be either warm or boiling hot.
My lips moaned something. Somewhere in the back of my brain my conscious groaned in embarrassment. Kris didn't hear my brain though and nipped under my jaw, “What was that lover?”
“Touch me” I begged and wiggled my hips to show him how in need I was of his touch. The dark chuckle vibrated in to my cells and set them on fire. Boiling hot felt good, better than warm. The feeling of my zipper being undone gave me hope and I turned to connect our mouths again. If I hadn't had so much wine I would have had the mind to take the masks off because they were hitting against each other and getting in the way. But heat was building and taking over.
Kris pulled away for a moment as he watched his own hand diving in to my under wear and taking hold of my hardening member.
My head fell back against the wall, knocking in to what was probably a paint, and my eyes fell on the devil standing over me. Here in the dark corner, the light was shining behind him, casting a shadow over him and blackening out his facial features. All I could see was the shape of his head and barely the outline of his red mask. My devil was real and he had me in his grasps. I never wanted him to let me go. I never wanted to leave him.
“You are so beautiful.” he breathed. His hand pulled out his own dick and started to rub us together. I broken moan came out of me and I held on to his jacket for dear life. His lips covered mine, swallowing my moans as he continued to rub against me and give me that sweet heated friction I wanted. “Fucking brat.” he chuckled.
He fastened the pace and tugged harder, jacking us both off. The sounds of the skin getting wet with precum was erotic and I loved it. I panted out his name and moved my hips to meet his hand.
“Did you just come on my jacket?” Kris jeered. My eyes flew open in surprise. My orgasm had hit too quickly, my chest jumping up and down. I scanned in jacket and made out the faint dash of my come on his jacket. Oops.
“Sorry.” I whispered while blood blossomed on my cheeks. I craned my neck down and immediately started to lap it up, he'd paid a lot for this jacket and I didn't want him to be cross with me. Kris gasped at my action, stopping me kissing me fiercely. We kissed for a while. I loved kissing him. He was such a good kisser. I'd always praise myself for pressuring him in to it that one time in high school.
He shrugged the jacket off and threw it dropped it behind me. “Be in front of the stair case in a few minutes okay? There's someone I want you to meet.” he pecked my cheek. He still looked good with just the vest and shirt, he still looked sharp and handsome. I nodded and was left to put myself away and fix my clothes. I watched my keeper stroll back in to the main stream of the party. Only a few guests eyed me as I took walked out, its not like me and Kris had been invisible in that corner. Some of them had to have either seen some of it or gotten the idea of what had happened.
I continued to make my way around the party. The tipsiness had taken the edge off and the feeling of being compressed wasn't so present anymore. As I walked around the party I received lingering gazes. They didn't exactly know who I was thanks to the elegant mask. But they did find me attractive I guessed, and the mystery of the mask added to it no doubt.
Kris had planned a masquerade as a welcoming party for his new partner. I toed through the crowd until I spotted my keeper in the midst of it all, talking to a group of people.
“Lover,” Kris addressed me in front of the small crowd. He held out his hand and I took it easily. With a graceful swing of his arm I was twirled inward and next to him. I felt a little more secure with his arm placed on my waist. “I want you to meet my new business partner.”
And that's when I spotted someone amongst the group.
The recognition was instant.
Oh. My. God.
“Xiumin?”
My heart was banging in my chest and Kris was glaring at the man who'd said my alias name loud and clear. He too recognized the man instantly. He wasn't wearing much of a mask, a thin strip of black over his eyes but not really hiding his identity. Even with my mask on he'd recognized me, knew who I was just by looking at me and I felt so many things seeing him. Relief and panic. Horror and thankfulness. Bewildered and confused. Scared. Very scared.
“Kai?” I squeaked back. My cousin stood before me with wide eyes in a plain black and white suit. He looked just as surprised to see me as I was him. We were both frozen on the spot and left gaping at one another. Kai finally took a deep breath and a step toward me.
And then Kris snapped his fingers and Tao appeard from the crowd, blocking him from coming any closer. I looked up at my lover in panic and wondered why he'd done that. He knew Kai, we'd all gone to the same high school. He knew Kai was my family and that-
Oh shit. Oh shit fuck me Kris thought that Kai was here to-god damn it. But was he? No he wasn't. My cousin looked far too shocked to see me, he would have been much sneakier about it. Kai was not here to rescue, and a small part of me felt upset by that, but then I asked the obvious question: What the hell was Kai doing here?
“Is there a problem?” a voice yelled out with anger. The crowd parted and another man stepped through. He was tall, just as tall as Kai and taller than me. I knew this man. This was the one I'd bumped in to on my way in to the kitchen. The annoyed fellow with the metal skull mask. He stormed forward and shoved at Tao. I was surprised to see the ninja butler not attack, instead stepping back and falling in to flank with Kris. I frowned but didn't say anything. Kai was still staring at me, sweat had broken over his brow and I realized he was trying to mouth some words to me. I concentrated on his lips as Kris started to speak to the man with the skull mask.
Loop man? No that wasn't right.
“I apologize if my guard over stepped a boundry Kris.” the skull man smirked.
Ru fan? What the hell...
“He did actually. He needs to keep his distance if you don't mind.” Kris answered and he was glaring at my cousin with hate.
You ran? Was he warning me about something?
“Well then I apologize. No hard feelings?” the man's voice was making my skin crawl. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. That voice. It was so sly and so sweet. It sounded gentle but like it was about to spit fire.
“None at all. I'd like you to meet someone in fact.” Kris spoke and then took off his mask. I assumed out of courtesy and respect. He tapped the back of my head as a signal for me to do the same. My fingers reached behind and started to untie the bow in the back. And that's when Kai took another bold step forward, his eyes ablaze as he looked like he wanted to scream. The skull man stopped him though, shooting him a look to follow orders. My cousin seemed desperate to make me understand what he was trying to mouth to me.
Luwan. Was that supposed to be a name? Why was my heart racing again?
I took my mask off, fixing some hair that had fallen in to my eyes. The moment I looked up the skull man sucked in sharp breath. I frowned at his reaction, as did Kris.
The skull man licked his lips, “Well well. He's just the cutest thing isn't he?”
Kris seemed to be happy about that comment, his arm still placed around me. “Yes. He's my lover.”
and then he motioned for me to speak. I bowed quickly,
“Hello. My name is Xiumin. Nice to meet you.”
I looked up and made eye contact with Kai. He looked like he was about to faint. The skull man smirked and reached up to take off his mask. Kris spoke to me.
“Xiumin, this is my new partner. This is Lu Han.”
Lu Han. That's what Kai had been mouthing at me.
“It's so nice to meet you Xiumin. So very nice I think I might cry.”
No. That wasn't fair. I'd just confessed to Kris. We'd just worked things out and now. Lu Han. There was no way. How could they even know each other that was impossible this was impossible. All the warmth was gone and all I felt was cold. This mighty chill in my bones that caused my heart to pound in panic. Lu Han? The Lu Han?
He was looking at me. He was right there in front of me, close enough to touch. His black crazy hair and the overwhelming tattoos and the dead sunken eyes and he was looking at me. Fuck fuck fuck this wasn't fair. No why me? Kris and I. Lu Han was here.
“Xiumin?” Kris yelled in confusion. I was running. I was shoving past people and I heard rather than felt the sobs leaving my throat. Everything was blurry and cold and impossible. How was he here? How had he found me? But I had to run and get away. He was going to kill me and then Kai and then Kris. Lu Han was going to kill everything I loved because I'd taken everything from him. I ran up the stairs. Tripping and falling as I climbed and shrieked in horror.
And then I heard it.
He was cackling with delight. The laughter echoed off the walls and pushed at my throat. I couldn't breath because fucking Lu Han. I'd left him behind, I'd left him and now he was here. He was lauging at me because he knew I was scared of him. He knew he could crush me in a second. He was here to kill me and I needed to get away. So I ran to the place I felt safe. I booked it down the hallways, on and on until I ripped my bedroom door open. My fingers fumbled as I locked it. And then I fell in to my own bed screaming in horror and weeping. My body shook and my eyes closed and my hands covered my ears. He was till laughing at me. Like a fucking maniac.
Lu Han. Fucking Lu Han.
I needed to get out, escape as quickly as possible. I needed to run away before he found me.
A knock on my door made me jump and scream in fear.
“Minseok let me in!” it was Kai. I fell out of my bed and swung the door open. My cousin looked down on me for a moment, assessing the situation before coming inside and closing the door behind him. “Come on get up. We have to get out of here. Right now.”
That's right. We had to get out of there. We had to escape. I'd run away again and all would be well.
Kai was talking to me, telling me he had only one gun and a knife on him. We'd have to make do and find our way out of here. The fastest way would be jumping down from the balcony and sneaking around the front. We'd steal a car and get out. That was the plan. I was going to get out of here finally. I was going to leave before Lu Han got to me.
I was going to leave Kris. Again.
“Wait wait wait no.” I gasped and grabbed at my cousin's arm. He stopped and gave me a worried look. If we were going to make a run for it, this was the chance. There was the sound of chaos and yelling downstairs. We weren't sure what was going on, but we this was the time to jump and pray. I shook my head and Kai shook me by my shoulders.
“Minseok! We have to go now!” he hissed. Once again he tried to take me with him. But I pulled back. I couldn't. I'd promised. I couldn't break him again. I loved him.
Kai's hand grabbed the back of my neck and launched me forward. He was trying to save me. Maybe not from Kris, but definitely Lu Han. He was family and he was trying to save me. But I couldn't. Kris had just confessed and I'd confessed and we were going to make it work.
He'd flung the balcony door open, the night air rushing in quietly. The sound of crickets singing outside was making me nervous. I couldn't leave Kris again. I couldn't. I wanted to stay with him.
Kai had me leaned agains the railing of the balcony, screaming at me to hurry up and jump. We had to escape we had to leave now. I was crying. We'd just worked things out. I loved him.
“If you think you're going to leave me again,” the furious voice made me and my cousin tense up, “you are seriously mistaken.”
Kai pushed me. My leg hooked over the side and I fell down. The sound of Kris screaming flooded my ears and I hit the ground hard. The air was pushed out of me. Kai landed next to me. Pulled me to my feet. I was being dragged away. Kris was screaming my name. I didn't want to leave him. My leg was aching in pain. I couldn't see straight, my head was pounding.
Someone knocked Kai on his back. And then they were squeezing my neck. The last thing I saw was Tao's face snarling at me. The last thing I heard was Kris screaming my name.
The last thing I felt was regret.
The recognition was instant.
Oh. My. God.
“Xiumin?”
--24 Hours Earlier--
I woke up in his arms and found that it was dark outside. My head felt light and like it was full of air, but my body was full of lead and brought my head back down in to the pillows. I'd cried hard enough to pass out and I'd gone in to a very deep sleep. Kris had as well it seemed because he didn't budge when I carefully slipped out of bed. Falling asleep in my clothes always left me uncomfortable, so I shed them quickly and opted for a shirt of Kris'. I picked out one of his suit shirts from the closet and put it on. The long dress shirt hung down to my thighs and the sleeves fell past my wrists. I'd always had a small fantasy about wearing my boyfriend's clothes.
It was past 11pm, the moon was out along with the stars. The air was warm despite how late it was, there was only the slightest breeze that pushed the dress shirt against my legs. I opened up the balcony doors and spent a few minutes alone in my own head. A sighed heavily as the question came to me: What just happened?
Kris confessed that he still loved you, my mind answered me immediately. It sounded a little excited about it even though I told it to be cautious. This could all be fake, he could be tricking me again to earn my trust just to crush me again.
But the way he held you, the things he said, how could he fake all of that? This was a whole new monster I was dealing with. I had to remember that Kris was much more devious than my gentle giant. He'd slept with a ton of women for a week just to prove a point. This man had raped me and hit me and-
But he loves you. You've always known this haven't you? Maybe. And maybe not. Love was not when you felt only pain and misery. Sure love could hurt, but it didn't set out to hurt you.
Then what do you call your reason for breaking up with him? Protecting him, giving him what he wanted. Letting him go so he could have what he wanted...at least what I thought he wanted.
You still love him like that. You still love him, and the person he's turned in to. At least you're learning to love this new man. Yes I am. He's broken but he's beautiful. I've always had a thing for protecting and coddling the broken ones haven't I?
He said he'll try and be better to you. Will you give him a chance? I don't know. I'm scared.
“Lover?” Kris' soft and deep voice made me jump slightly. My monster was sitting up on his elbows but his head was hung back. He looked incredibly tired but calm. I went to him and got back in to bed, under the covers and was welcomed by his embrace.
“What time is it?” he asked while rubbing his nose in to my hair. He hooked a long leg over my body. A satisfied sound left me before I could stop it.
“Almost midnight.” I whispered.
“What were you doing?” his voice tickled my ear and I craned my neck away to look at him. He was staring at me with out blinking.
My body was acting on it's own; it leaned forward and pecked his lips several times before he rolled us so I was laying on top of him. His fingers danced down my back until they tucked themselves under the hem of the long shirt. While he deepened our kiss, his hands slid the shirt up so his fingers could go under my briefs and fleet around the cleft of my ass to tease. I let go of his lips to moan softly. Kris kissed my cheek and sat up with me in his lap. I thought we were going to do some foreplay or something, but I was picked up and carried downstairs. I locked my ankles and hands to hold on as we ascended the grand stair case.
When he walked in to the kitchen there was a handful of servants still awake and talking amongst themselves. They froze in shock to see their employer; only one held back a smile at the sight of me in his arms. Sulli shooed the other maids and butlers away and asked if Kris needed anything in particular. My keeper dismissed her kindly and my favorite maid left while giggling. I was placed on one of the counters . The marble was freezing and I yelped before tucking the shirt under my bottom. Kris leaned over me, and we kissed again. He was kissing me a lot, but not advancing on me. Which I found terribly odd. His large hand threaded through my hair and I opened my mouth to welcome his warm tongue. I placed my hands on his chest, he was still wearing his clothes from earlier, and grabbed the fabric to bring him closer.
But he stopped and walked away from me suddenly. I was left panting and needy. Kris patted one of my legs and started to walk around the kitchen with a busy manner. The clang of a few pots and seeing my keeper turn on the stove made me realize he was going to cook for me. A smile spread over my face and I tucked my legs against my chest. Even though I was the better cook, Kris used to try and make things for me anyways. The only thing he'd actually been successful with was...
Kris took a few packs of spicy ramen down from a cupboard and filled up a low and wide pot with hot water. He placed the full pot on the stove and then crossed back over to me.
“Still can't cook?” I teased and wrapped my legs around his waist again. Kris shrugged but shook his head as an answer. The laugh I let out surprised me, but I ignored it. For a second I thought I saw a blush on his cheeks but he cleared his throat and it was gone.
“It's never too late to try.” he defended with a smile. It was said lightly, but it hung heavy in the air. Was what he said actually true? Sure, if it was cooking we were talking about. It was indeed never too late to try. But what about us? This damaged thing that was us, was it too late to try?
I didn't respond and shuffled my hips forward to meet his. Kris grabbed my face, not forcefully, and made me look him in the eye. I wasn't sure where to look or why I was so nervous. But he was staring at me and it wasn't until his gaze softened and he leaned forward closer that I realized he was admiring me. He was honestly just looking at me to look and show that he appreciated that he got to look. His thumbs massaged my neck steadily and made warm paths down to my collarbone. The first few buttons of his white dress shirt were undone to reveal more of my skin.
When his eyes followed his thumbs down he suddenly brightened with an idea. He quickly stepped back and made a beeline for the refrigerator, opening up the freezer half. I watched him curiously, until he pulled out something that made me frown. Not because I was upset, but because I couldn't understand why he wanted to eat that when he'd just turned on the water to make us dinner.
With a grin Kris walked back to me and kissed my ear sweetly, “Will you lay down my love?”
I thew him a timid look but did so. The coolness of the marble through the shirt felt nice against my back, I laid down with my knees bent and my hands clasped over my stomach. My throat released a high squeak when I was suddenly yanked to the edge of the counter; my knees hung off the edge with the rest of my body displayed on the hard and cold surface. I suddenly felt very exposed and crossed my legs and hugged myself. Kris looked down on my with such a loving yet mischievous smirk that I trembled slightly. He held up what he'd taken from the freezer and set it beside my head.
“I've always wanted to play with you like this lover. Will you let me?”
My hesitation made him look worried. I eyed the item in his hands and then slowly nodded my consent. Kris sighed in relief and then opened up the container of ice cream, shoved a spoon in to the frozen dessert and then put in his mouth. We'd fooled around when we were young, in the jacuzzi and we'd tried different positions. But we'd never, I'd never, had sex like this before with any man. I watched him move the ice cream around in his mouth and then swallow. He took another bite before unbuttoning the dress shirt all the way and pulling off my underwear to leave me naked and exposed. When he kissed me I could taste the sweet vanilla bean on his tongue. It was cool and soft to my tongue, I opened my mouth to welcome the taste and moaned as he kissed me harder. Our lips separated with a smack. He continued with his sweet kisses, tossing the ice cream back and forth between our mouths until it was nothing but a sticky sugary mess. My hips were gyrating against his hard, the fabric of the shirt making it easy to slide back and forth against the marble. I moaned loudly when he put ice cream in his mouth and purposefully sucked at my chest, leaving a trail of white cream down my navel.
My whole body arched when Kris put my erection in his mouth along with a fresh scoop of ice cream. Everything was warm and wet and cold and tingly. I couldn't keep still and I was stuck between trying to get away and shoving myself further in to his mouth. Though the latter prevailed and my hands naturally tangled in his hair as he let me mouth fuck him. He hadn't gone down on me once during my stay with him. I'd forgotten how good a blow job felt; never mind the sensation of the cold and wet ice cream surrounding my length. That sensation paired with his tongue massaging and his lips sucking, I came undone too quickly. I came down is throat with a scream of his name and my nails digging in to his skull. And he didn't even stop then, he continued with his mouth and kissed his way further down until his tongue was licking at my entrance, and then my inner thighs, and then the back of my calves and up again until my bottom half was thoroughly covered in his kisses and licks.
I reached for him when he was done, he pulled me to sit up and hold me tight. And I held his gaze as I tugged at his hard dick. I kissed him passionately as my thumb teased his head, my lips skipping down to suck on that special place just under his ear. It had always been his soft spot, a place I'd marked when we were teenagers. I enjoyed kissing it again, nibbling it until it was pink and then sucking harshly as he gasped and came in my hand. The ramen was forgotten, and I was carried upstairs to his room where we entered the shower together.
Kris whispered things to me in that shower, as he stood behind me under the hot stream. As the glass fogged up he continued to confess his love for me, his hands gliding up my wet skin that was so sensitive after my first orgasm. I whimpered in his arms and leaned against the tiles while he finger fucked me and jacked me off. My monster consumed me, had his way in so many ways. In the shower with me pressed up against the wall, on the sink with my head banging against the mirror, on the bed with me riding on top, out on the balcony with the wind in our hair and my legs wrapped around his hips and arms holding me tight.
My monster consumed me and I let him, hell I wanted him to. My monster, he was mine.
We collapsed on the bed together in a daze, all I could feel was the plush blankets beneath me and the smooth warmness that was Kris on top of me. It was enlightening and healing, bruising and suffocating. So warm and soft and smooth and it felt wonderful. If my monster continued to have me like this every night, I'd surely give in to my love for him.
~ ~ ~
I'd never woken up so satisfied and happy before. I woke up very excited yet shy when I was younger and after our first time together. I'd woken up scared and unsure my first night in this mansion five months ago. This was the first time ever that I woke up in his arms with a relaxed smile on my face. Kris was an angel in his sleep and I kissed his lips and snuggled closer. To feel small and protected by him again...for now satisfaction would be the feeling that was in my chest. I felt him kiss my forehead to let me know he was awake as well, his arms squeezing me tight against him.
We were busy smiling, laughing, and kissing when a knock on the door interrupted. Lay let himself in and his eyes widened in curiosity at the sight before him. The stoic butler had a tray that held a small breakfast atop it, hot and steaming.
“Sir, good morning.” Lay eyed me with the smallest smile and came forward with the tray to set it on the nightstand. Kris sat up in bed and pulled me with him, tucked me in to his side as Lay prepared the coffee. The butler did his best not to keep glancing at us but failed.
“Something the matter Lay?” Kris noticed the quick stares and the way Lay seemed to be biting back a smile. The butler tried to act innocent and shook his head. With quick steps the butler walked to the balcony doors and pulled the curtains apart to let the sunlight flow in. The golden light made everything bright and illuminated, including Kris' halo of blonde bed head.
“Are you sure Lay? Is there something you need to say?”
Kris was teasing, because he knew exactly why Lay was a little smiley that morning. And really not a lot made Lay show emotion on his face. The servants that had been in the kitchen last night had shown a similar reaction of surprise yet happiness. They were happy to see me and Kris getting along, acting loving towards one another. I couldn't imagine how grateful Lay was to see us like this; he'd seen my torn apart and crying the most.
“Nothing much Sir, I was going to tell you that Mr. Kim was missing from his room, and I looked for you there at first since you moved in there. But here you both are, so there is no message to give.” Lay bowed his head slightly and then asked if I was hungry. When I nodded he briskly walked out to get me something to eat. Kris pulled the black folder Lay had left behind, clicking his pen and scanning through the documents as he sipped his coffee. I sighed and rested against him, looking over his shoulder but not being able to read any of the print in Chinese.
“Are you excited about the party tonight?” Kris asked while he read through one of the many papers.
“I guess.” my shrug of nonchalance made my keeper put down his folder and frown at me. I frowned back and we ended up smiling and kissing again. I'd missed kissing him like this; sweetly and willingly. I could feel his affection and his smile in every touch of his lips.
“You don't like parties?” he chuckled. I shook my head with a pout and puckered my lips. I wanted more kisses, I wanted all of this affection he was giving to me so easily. “Why not?” he questioned but gave in and his lips sucked on mine gently.
“I don't like all the snobby rich people.” I explained. Kris gasped and laughed loudly.
“But I'm one of those snobby rich people!” he was smiling so much and it was so nice to see.
“Yeah but you're different! You're handsome and I love you!” I said with out thinking, the biggest smile on my face. His laughing paused immediately and my face fell. We both froze in shock at the phrase I'd blurted out.
Had I just said that out loud? What had I...damn it Minseok damn it all to hell.
Not once had I said 'I love you' back the day before. I'd sobbed in his arms, I'd kissed him and we'd made love and he'd confessed and we'd both cried but I had never said it back. Wasn't sure if I wanted to say it back just yet. Did I want him to know that I loved him still? Did I love him still?
Yes you idiot, my mind sighed tiredly.
“Minseok,” Kris crooned against my neck. My shiver was involuntary but letting him lay on top of me was not. “You love me still?”
I shook my head, but that didn't phase him. He still seemed overjoyed at my words, elated and nothing could bring him back down. I'd already said it, it was too late. My fear was irrelevant to his smile and his embrace. Kris had heard it, he believed it, if only I could let myself believe it.
“Don't leave me again.” he whispered in to my neck, “We can make this work. Just promise not to leave me again and I'll take care of everything.”
Oh my heart. Oh my soul. Oh my fear. But oh my hope that calmed them all and made them bow and give in. “I won't. I promise.” my small voice whispered back.
It was never too late to try again. If hope existed then wasn't anything possible? Couldn't we fix this thing between us? I wanted to fix it. Maybe my giant was no more, but my monster was here and I loved him. I wanted to care for him and protect him. He loved me dearly despite his faults and anger. He needed me and I would not abandon him again. I wanted to stay with him, I'd hoped for it in the first place hadn't I? I'd dreamed about him night after night post our break up. He was my one and only, he was it for me and my first love. Kris Wu Fan, my monster. I loved him.
My heart opened up, a great sigh of relief left my lips, “I love you.”
His mouth was warm against mine, I could feel the thrum of our heartbeats falling in to sync.
Oh my heart. Oh my soul. Oh my hope. And Oh my love that brought them all together and made them dance and give in. “I love you.”
~ ~ ~
Sulli's smile was so wide I thought her face was going to split in half. When she noticed me glaring she cleared her throat and tried to concentrate. Another spritz of water went in to my hair followed by some styling wax, the lovely maid pulled and messed with my auburn hair until she was satisfied. It stood up and gave me a sophisticated yet rocker vibe. I scooted away when Jinyoung came up to me with powder and a make up kit. I was not comfortable with the idea of make up on my face.
“Kris said to make you look like a dream.” Sulli made me face the mirror again and beckoned Jinyoung forward again. Sandeul was behind us all with my clothes on an ironing board, melting away an creases left in the expensive shirt and pants.
I grimaced but let the make up be applied, my eyes teared up several times while Sulli penciled on the eyeliner. But I had to admit when I looked in the mirror was stunned by my own appearance; the light black rim around my eyes made them look wide and alluring. The powder had made my already pale skin look extra smooth and porcelain. Sandeul and Jinyoung helped me in to my outfit and didn't let me adjust anything including my own zipper. I gave Sandeul quite the affronted look when he grabbed my junk to stuff it in to my pants. He backed away quietly when he was done and excused himself.
“Which one do you want?” Sulli asked while holding up the four pairs of suspenders Kris had bought for me. I studied them all and asked to try on the all black ones. I actually liked the look of the straps going down either side of my chest. It gave me a nice look. I tried on the deep brown pair and wasn't satisfied, the gray pair and found they blended in too well, and the black and white stripped pair. I was stuck between the black ones and the stripped ones when Sulli suggested the latter. She said they were more fashionable and stood out in a good way. Jinyoung came over and forced me to sit down so he could put on my shoes and socks; I whined about this for a few minutes because I was not a freaking child and I could dress myself. But he did it anyways while Sulli put on my diamond studs, the ones from Kris, and added one of the many watches gifted to me as well. A few splashes of cologne and I was complete. I did a twirl for the servants.
Sulli presented me with a long and wide satin box that I stared at with confusion. Was it another gift from Kris? “It's going to be a masquerade Xiumin, Kris had this ordered for you.”
A masquerade. I'd never seen it coming.
Quietly I opened the box to reveal my mask for the night. It was beautiful to say the least. It was lace, woven beautifully and fanned out elegantly. When I picked it up points on it sparkled and I realized there diamonds embedded in to it, a huge one at the center and others sparkling around it. It was feminine, but I really loved it. The servants helped me put it on, tying the ribbons under my hair. Looking in the mirror, I felt like I was dreaming.
“You are a sight he is going to drool over.” Sulli smiled behind me. I blushed at her words and shrugged lightly. With a giggle she tugged at my hand and led me out of my room. It was time to see Kris and go downstairs with him. It was after eight already and all of his guests were already present and socializing downstairs.
“Minseok.” My lover grinned when he saw me. I stopped him from embracing me because I wanted to get a good look at him in his suit. The feeling was similar from the shop when he'd first tried it on. But this time his hair was properly groomed and he had coal rimmed eyes. He looked absolutely dashing and sexy in it. He smirked down at me and his fingers came up to trace the mask over my eyes.
“Do you like it?” he was referring to my lace mask. He didn't have his mask on yet. I nodded silently and rested my cheek on his open palm. His thumb caressed my cheek and he leaned down to steal a kiss.
Lay called him over and presented a satin box just like mine. I didn't mean to, but I ended up frowning when I saw how cool and manly his mask was. A simple shiny red mask, it was bold and it matched his shirt, tie and vest in color. It was so simple yet it fit him so well.
“How come you get a cool mask?!” I cried. My foot stomped and my hand ended up landed on my hip with attitude. Kris' brow arched in surprise and question. When he realized what I was complaining about he rolled his eyes all the way to the back of his head.
“Don't be a brat lover.” he growled.
“Don't call me a brat! Why do I get to look all girly and you look all manly and cool!” I whined and stomped my foot again. Kris sighed with annoyance and screamed at Lay to quickly get the mask on. The butler was already placing the plain red mask over his employer's eyes, tying the black ribbon behind his head. I crossed my arms over my chest and continued to glare and pout. When Kris was fully dressed he kind of intimidated me. The red mask covered his forehead, cheeks, and nose. It left his stern jawline and full lips, and his strong eyes watching me closely.
“Are you done with your tantrum?” Kris looked in the mirror and made sure his suit was in place before walking over to me again and pulling me against him. I huffed and pushed against his chest.
“I was not throwing a tantrum...” I muttered and didn't meet his gaze. He held my chin and our eyes met. I could see the smile in his eyes, gaze still soft even though he was technically scolding me. In a moment I rose on to my toes and kissed his lips quickly. His mask hit mine lightly and we laughed softly together. “But why is your mask so different from mine?” I reiterated. Kris pulled away but held my hand.
“Because I am the devil.” he stroked my mask as Lay opened up the bedroom doors. “and you are my angel paramour.”
He was going for a costume route then. He was supposed to be the devil himself; clad in shiny black and blood red. And I was his angle lover with soft gray and silver, a lace and diamond mask instead of wings. I was the devil's paramour, he was the angel's keeper. A perfect match. He held my hand tightly as we exited his bedroom, making our way out in to the hallway and towards the grand stair case. Below us chatter could be heard, the flow of a small orchestra and plenty of laughter flowed up and through the walls. The second we appeared at the foot of top of the stairs, all talking ceased and a few hundred masked faces looked up at us. I froze up, and would have backed away slowly if it weren't for Kris pulling me along with him. All the different colored masks followed our movement and finally watched us in silence when he landed on the large front floor. There were so many people. Plenty of ladies. Some in full blow ball gowns and others in slim cut cocktail dresses. The men were either in sharp suits like Kris, or dressing it up with tuxedos. But every single person had a mask on, covering half their face and casting shadows to make their eyes black pits. It was creepy.
With the clap of his hands, Kris lightened the atmosphere and it felt like the lights came up, suddenly everyone smiled and seemed friendly, the music started up again and the conversations flowed. I gave him an odd look and he shrugged, pointing me to the left. As we walked by a few guests greeted Kris, my keeper smiled and waved but held on to me. We ended up in front of a small ensemble of musicians. Kris moved close and leaned in to talk to the violinist. After he was done the man turned to his group and gathered them close for a short meeting. As we walked away the music started again, but this time a bit more upbeat and with a faster tempo.
“There's a lot of people.” I whispered in to Kris' ear.
“There is. And a lot of them will be wanting to talk to me through out the night. If you get bored feel free to leave me and run about.” he said back. I wrapped my arm around his neck to pull him close.
“You trust me to run around on my own? Aren't I a hostage?” I teased and kissed his ear. Kris chuckled against my neck and kissed it back.
“You are my lover. With a contract of course.” he joked and I giggled. And as he leaned in for a kiss a plump man and a few others in tuxedos strolled up and took Kris' attention. He was at attention and quickly engaged in conversation. As he said, I got bored quickly. I squeezed his arm to let him notice that I was leaving to go around on my own. His hand patted my shoulder as I left, and then I was making my way around the crowd. Everyone noticed me. I was, after all, the person who'd been beside Kris when he'd made his grand entrance. Quite a few of them nodded their heads in greeting, I nodded back. But with so many strangers I started to feel a little claustrophobic. I couldn't turn one way or another with out almost bumping in to someone. I needed a drink.
“Mr. Kim.” a small giggle rang in my ear. I turned and sighed in relief. Sulli held a tray of champagne in one hand, a tall glass of wine by itself in the other. She handed me the glass of wine and I gave her a questioning look. “Kris asked I give you this.”
Sulli was dressed in her usual maid outfit; black pencil skirt and black long sleeved blouse, white apron and white gloves. The only difference tonight was that her hair was pinned back and she donned a sleek and minimal black mask as well. But I knew her smile anywhere. I gladly took the glass and sipped a bit. Before she could leave though I pulled her back and begged her to let me hang out with her for the party. She stared at me wide-eyed.
“You want to hang out with me? At this party? The great Kris' lover chilling with the maid at a grand party full of rich people?” she sneered and stuck her hip out. I pouted.
“Exactly. I don't know these people and there's too many of them.”
Sulli rolled her eyes but told me to head in to the kitchen if I wanted to. I smiled and skipped my way there, weaving in and out of the bodies that clustered too close for my liking.
I was turning the corner in to the kitchen when I almost collided with someone. Well technically I did, our shoulders impacting. But my wine didn't spill so I deemed it a non-tragedy. The man grunted and looked down at me with an annoyed glare. His black hair was askew and he wore a black suit. The tie was black, the vest was black and everything was black. From his backwards horn hook earrings to his rings embossing his fingers. Even his mask was black. It was stunning really. Made out of some form of metal material but not solid, see through but so entangled that you couldn't recognize who was under it. It formed to shape a wide and angry skull. He was the only person with a mask covering most of his face, only his eyes remained and they looked pretty pissed. I cringed and quickly apologized. I didn't want to insult one of my lover's guests. At the sound of my voice the stranger seemed to relax.
“Lucky you're cute.” he muttered, and he walked away with a glass of brandy in hand. I tilted my head, because none of the other guests were being offered brandy. Only champagne...
I shrugged. Maybe he'd been smart enough to go in to the kitchen and demand a stronger drink. I continued on and felt my shoulders loosen as I entered the familiar atmosphere. The servants were busy though, running in and out with trays of drinks and small snacks. I recognized Jinyoung as he picked up a tray of champagne and made his way out, throwing me a smile as he scurried past. Tao spotted me and gave me a stern look. But I stuck my tongue out and perched myself on a free counter. I was out of the way and not bothering anyone, I was aloud in here if I pleased. The meanie butler was about to tell me something when Lay rushed in and grabbed his arm, gasping about some Kris wanting Tao out on the floor. Something about Kris feeling uneasy about a guest and what not. The meanie butler left with out another glance at me and went out, leaving Lay in charge of the kitchen and over seeing the other servants as they went back and forth.
When Sulli saddled up beside me I offered her a sip of my wine. She gasped a thank you and chugged back the rest. I cried about it but she shut me up by fishing me out the rest of the bottle from the fridge. With my full bottle all to myself, left alone on the counter of the kitchen I knew best, I felt at ease and leaned back happily.
Lay spotted me later on, it was well past 9 o'clock when he came toward me and asked me what exactly I was doing in the kitchen.
“Having fun!” I smiled and swirled around my fourth glass of alcohol. Lay's eyes pierced right through me and reached for my glass. We were in the middle of a struggle; Lay craning his arm and me holding my wine away from him, and my other hand shoving at his face with his forearm holding my face back against the cabinets. Sulli appeared again and removed Lay,
“Boss, he's not harming anyone. Kris wouldn't mind.”she pointed out. Lay grimaced at that and turned to me again. But Sulli stepped between us and put her hands on his shoulders. The way the butler froze up, the tiniest hint of a blush on his cheeks, caught my attention. Was that...
“Boss!” Sulli cooed, “Let's leave Xiumin to his wine, and we can get a glass of champagne ourselves. Okay?” she suggested. Lay stuttered and tried to argue. Lay never stuttered...the butler in charge sighed and turned on his heel. Sulli threw me a thumbs up and followed him. I watched them cross the kitchen to the opposite counter, Lay barking out orders and Sulli beside him quietly setting up glasses and small sandwiches on platters. Whenever she bumped in him, a small smile formed on his lips. That seemed very peculiar. It was so peculiar I chugged down another glass of wine, loving the sensation it lulled over my skin.
Five glass, six, and seven just for fun. How many cups could I get out of this bottle?
When I'd finished all my wine and my body felt like it could float on air, I swooped down from the counter and stumbled out in to the main party. Everything movement felt warm and made my head swim. People seemed to look a little funny and I giggled at their faces. I giggled until I collided with someone much taller than me. I glared up at them and then my lips fell in to a loop smile.
Kris stood in front of me and stared down at me, “You're tipsy.” he accused. My lips mumbled but the words didn't exactly connect. My keeper laughed and held me close. His cologne was enticing and I clung to him, grabbing at his neck to make him kiss me. God I loved kissing him. He was so dominant when it came to kissing. I was so ready to have my mouth fall open and invite his tongue to lick up every sound he could pull out of me.
“Stop being naughty,” he hissed in to my ear, “before I molest you in a dark corner.”
I moaned slightly too loud and pressed my hips against him. I wanted him to take me then, right in front of all these rich snobby people. I wanted them to see how Kris claimed me, how he fucked like a god and bent me in half for his desires. I wanted everyone to watch as the devil had his way with his paramour. I tugged at his tie and our lips finally met. I eagerly bit at his bottom lip and ran my fingers in his hair. He growled in to my mouth and I found the back of my head hitting something hard.
He had indeed backed me in to a corner. One near the kitchen, and it was dark and hidden. My legs opened for him and he kissed down my jaw, tugging at the buttons of my collar to have access to more skin. I happily rutted against him, feeling myself grow hard with his cologne in my senses and his fingers exploring me. He rubbed at my nipples through the shirt and the small friction of the fabric made me sigh and thrust up in to him harder. I wanted him all over me, my body felt tingly and warm and he was warm and I wanted everything to be either warm or boiling hot.
My lips moaned something. Somewhere in the back of my brain my conscious groaned in embarrassment. Kris didn't hear my brain though and nipped under my jaw, “What was that lover?”
“Touch me” I begged and wiggled my hips to show him how in need I was of his touch. The dark chuckle vibrated in to my cells and set them on fire. Boiling hot felt good, better than warm. The feeling of my zipper being undone gave me hope and I turned to connect our mouths again. If I hadn't had so much wine I would have had the mind to take the masks off because they were hitting against each other and getting in the way. But heat was building and taking over.
Kris pulled away for a moment as he watched his own hand diving in to my under wear and taking hold of my hardening member.
My head fell back against the wall, knocking in to what was probably a paint, and my eyes fell on the devil standing over me. Here in the dark corner, the light was shining behind him, casting a shadow over him and blackening out his facial features. All I could see was the shape of his head and barely the outline of his red mask. My devil was real and he had me in his grasps. I never wanted him to let me go. I never wanted to leave him.
“You are so beautiful.” he breathed. His hand pulled out his own dick and started to rub us together. I broken moan came out of me and I held on to his jacket for dear life. His lips covered mine, swallowing my moans as he continued to rub against me and give me that sweet heated friction I wanted. “Fucking brat.” he chuckled.
He fastened the pace and tugged harder, jacking us both off. The sounds of the skin getting wet with precum was erotic and I loved it. I panted out his name and moved my hips to meet his hand.
“Did you just come on my jacket?” Kris jeered. My eyes flew open in surprise. My orgasm had hit too quickly, my chest jumping up and down. I scanned in jacket and made out the faint dash of my come on his jacket. Oops.
“Sorry.” I whispered while blood blossomed on my cheeks. I craned my neck down and immediately started to lap it up, he'd paid a lot for this jacket and I didn't want him to be cross with me. Kris gasped at my action, stopping me kissing me fiercely. We kissed for a while. I loved kissing him. He was such a good kisser. I'd always praise myself for pressuring him in to it that one time in high school.
He shrugged the jacket off and threw it dropped it behind me. “Be in front of the stair case in a few minutes okay? There's someone I want you to meet.” he pecked my cheek. He still looked good with just the vest and shirt, he still looked sharp and handsome. I nodded and was left to put myself away and fix my clothes. I watched my keeper stroll back in to the main stream of the party. Only a few guests eyed me as I took walked out, its not like me and Kris had been invisible in that corner. Some of them had to have either seen some of it or gotten the idea of what had happened.
I continued to make my way around the party. The tipsiness had taken the edge off and the feeling of being compressed wasn't so present anymore. As I walked around the party I received lingering gazes. They didn't exactly know who I was thanks to the elegant mask. But they did find me attractive I guessed, and the mystery of the mask added to it no doubt.
Kris had planned a masquerade as a welcoming party for his new partner. I toed through the crowd until I spotted my keeper in the midst of it all, talking to a group of people.
“Lover,” Kris addressed me in front of the small crowd. He held out his hand and I took it easily. With a graceful swing of his arm I was twirled inward and next to him. I felt a little more secure with his arm placed on my waist. “I want you to meet my new business partner.”
And that's when I spotted someone amongst the group.
The recognition was instant.
Oh. My. God.
“Xiumin?”
My heart was banging in my chest and Kris was glaring at the man who'd said my alias name loud and clear. He too recognized the man instantly. He wasn't wearing much of a mask, a thin strip of black over his eyes but not really hiding his identity. Even with my mask on he'd recognized me, knew who I was just by looking at me and I felt so many things seeing him. Relief and panic. Horror and thankfulness. Bewildered and confused. Scared. Very scared.
“Kai?” I squeaked back. My cousin stood before me with wide eyes in a plain black and white suit. He looked just as surprised to see me as I was him. We were both frozen on the spot and left gaping at one another. Kai finally took a deep breath and a step toward me.
And then Kris snapped his fingers and Tao appeard from the crowd, blocking him from coming any closer. I looked up at my lover in panic and wondered why he'd done that. He knew Kai, we'd all gone to the same high school. He knew Kai was my family and that-
Oh shit. Oh shit fuck me Kris thought that Kai was here to-god damn it. But was he? No he wasn't. My cousin looked far too shocked to see me, he would have been much sneakier about it. Kai was not here to rescue, and a small part of me felt upset by that, but then I asked the obvious question: What the hell was Kai doing here?
“Is there a problem?” a voice yelled out with anger. The crowd parted and another man stepped through. He was tall, just as tall as Kai and taller than me. I knew this man. This was the one I'd bumped in to on my way in to the kitchen. The annoyed fellow with the metal skull mask. He stormed forward and shoved at Tao. I was surprised to see the ninja butler not attack, instead stepping back and falling in to flank with Kris. I frowned but didn't say anything. Kai was still staring at me, sweat had broken over his brow and I realized he was trying to mouth some words to me. I concentrated on his lips as Kris started to speak to the man with the skull mask.
Loop man? No that wasn't right.
“I apologize if my guard over stepped a boundry Kris.” the skull man smirked.
Ru fan? What the hell...
“He did actually. He needs to keep his distance if you don't mind.” Kris answered and he was glaring at my cousin with hate.
You ran? Was he warning me about something?
“Well then I apologize. No hard feelings?” the man's voice was making my skin crawl. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. That voice. It was so sly and so sweet. It sounded gentle but like it was about to spit fire.
“None at all. I'd like you to meet someone in fact.” Kris spoke and then took off his mask. I assumed out of courtesy and respect. He tapped the back of my head as a signal for me to do the same. My fingers reached behind and started to untie the bow in the back. And that's when Kai took another bold step forward, his eyes ablaze as he looked like he wanted to scream. The skull man stopped him though, shooting him a look to follow orders. My cousin seemed desperate to make me understand what he was trying to mouth to me.
Luwan. Was that supposed to be a name? Why was my heart racing again?
I took my mask off, fixing some hair that had fallen in to my eyes. The moment I looked up the skull man sucked in sharp breath. I frowned at his reaction, as did Kris.
The skull man licked his lips, “Well well. He's just the cutest thing isn't he?”
Kris seemed to be happy about that comment, his arm still placed around me. “Yes. He's my lover.”
and then he motioned for me to speak. I bowed quickly,
“Hello. My name is Xiumin. Nice to meet you.”
I looked up and made eye contact with Kai. He looked like he was about to faint. The skull man smirked and reached up to take off his mask. Kris spoke to me.
“Xiumin, this is my new partner. This is Lu Han.”
Lu Han. That's what Kai had been mouthing at me.
“It's so nice to meet you Xiumin. So very nice I think I might cry.”
No. That wasn't fair. I'd just confessed to Kris. We'd just worked things out and now. Lu Han. There was no way. How could they even know each other that was impossible this was impossible. All the warmth was gone and all I felt was cold. This mighty chill in my bones that caused my heart to pound in panic. Lu Han? The Lu Han?
He was looking at me. He was right there in front of me, close enough to touch. His black crazy hair and the overwhelming tattoos and the dead sunken eyes and he was looking at me. Fuck fuck fuck this wasn't fair. No why me? Kris and I. Lu Han was here.
“Xiumin?” Kris yelled in confusion. I was running. I was shoving past people and I heard rather than felt the sobs leaving my throat. Everything was blurry and cold and impossible. How was he here? How had he found me? But I had to run and get away. He was going to kill me and then Kai and then Kris. Lu Han was going to kill everything I loved because I'd taken everything from him. I ran up the stairs. Tripping and falling as I climbed and shrieked in horror.
And then I heard it.
He was cackling with delight. The laughter echoed off the walls and pushed at my throat. I couldn't breath because fucking Lu Han. I'd left him behind, I'd left him and now he was here. He was lauging at me because he knew I was scared of him. He knew he could crush me in a second. He was here to kill me and I needed to get away. So I ran to the place I felt safe. I booked it down the hallways, on and on until I ripped my bedroom door open. My fingers fumbled as I locked it. And then I fell in to my own bed screaming in horror and weeping. My body shook and my eyes closed and my hands covered my ears. He was till laughing at me. Like a fucking maniac.
Lu Han. Fucking Lu Han.
I needed to get out, escape as quickly as possible. I needed to run away before he found me.
A knock on my door made me jump and scream in fear.
“Minseok let me in!” it was Kai. I fell out of my bed and swung the door open. My cousin looked down on me for a moment, assessing the situation before coming inside and closing the door behind him. “Come on get up. We have to get out of here. Right now.”
That's right. We had to get out of there. We had to escape. I'd run away again and all would be well.
Kai was talking to me, telling me he had only one gun and a knife on him. We'd have to make do and find our way out of here. The fastest way would be jumping down from the balcony and sneaking around the front. We'd steal a car and get out. That was the plan. I was going to get out of here finally. I was going to leave before Lu Han got to me.
I was going to leave Kris. Again.
“Wait wait wait no.” I gasped and grabbed at my cousin's arm. He stopped and gave me a worried look. If we were going to make a run for it, this was the chance. There was the sound of chaos and yelling downstairs. We weren't sure what was going on, but we this was the time to jump and pray. I shook my head and Kai shook me by my shoulders.
“Minseok! We have to go now!” he hissed. Once again he tried to take me with him. But I pulled back. I couldn't. I'd promised. I couldn't break him again. I loved him.
Kai's hand grabbed the back of my neck and launched me forward. He was trying to save me. Maybe not from Kris, but definitely Lu Han. He was family and he was trying to save me. But I couldn't. Kris had just confessed and I'd confessed and we were going to make it work.
He'd flung the balcony door open, the night air rushing in quietly. The sound of crickets singing outside was making me nervous. I couldn't leave Kris again. I couldn't. I wanted to stay with him.
Kai had me leaned agains the railing of the balcony, screaming at me to hurry up and jump. We had to escape we had to leave now. I was crying. We'd just worked things out. I loved him.
“If you think you're going to leave me again,” the furious voice made me and my cousin tense up, “you are seriously mistaken.”
Kai pushed me. My leg hooked over the side and I fell down. The sound of Kris screaming flooded my ears and I hit the ground hard. The air was pushed out of me. Kai landed next to me. Pulled me to my feet. I was being dragged away. Kris was screaming my name. I didn't want to leave him. My leg was aching in pain. I couldn't see straight, my head was pounding.
Someone knocked Kai on his back. And then they were squeezing my neck. The last thing I saw was Tao's face snarling at me. The last thing I heard was Kris screaming my name.
The last thing I felt was regret.