Devil's Paramour
I'd spent over two months being his willing fuck toy.
After his stunt in my room that made me bleed, I kind of became numb.
I couldn't feel anything when he touched me anymore. Not the way I did before. There was no sense of fear or pain, no anticipation as his fingers mapped out the dips of my body. The second he entered my room or gave me a certain look I felt myself emotionally shut down.
It's probably because I didn't want to feel anything. Because being numb, being like a hallow doll was better than the cringing nausea that I was usually left with. Pushing my mind to escape his presence felt so good, it was so easy. So I did it again and again. Sometimes I went so far away in my mind that when I came back he was already done with me and gone.
There was always a brief moment of fear when he laid eyes on me. The heavy gaze that had done wonders to me as a teenager, the one that had made me cower with panic a few months before, now it had little affect on me. Because I'd practiced shutting myself out of the situation, of just taking it.
I thought I'd been doing a really good job so far. He would come to my room mostly in the evening, he didn't really bother with the mid day blow jobs anymore, and I'd already be bare and laying on my bed. Waiting for him like a piece of meat ready to be feasted on. And he'd come closer, the brief moment of fear would sweep through me before I took a deep breath. With that one breath of oxygen flowing in and out of my lungs to clear my mind, I was able to close myself off. I let my body go slack so it was willing to do whatever he wished. This was easy. This I could do.
Like I said, I thought I'd been doing a good job. I felt no pain, and Kris got off. That was the point of me being here wasn't it?
It took my by surprise when he came to my room in the early evening. I'd been on the balcony of my room, looking out and across his mass acres. Mentally I wished, wished that soon my family would come soon.
The knock at the door could be heard, I called to whoever it was to enter. I heard the click of the door, a brief shuffling of feet, and then his voice.
When we were younger, if Kris whispered in to my ear in the right tone he could make me reach my orgasm that much faster. That was how addicting his voice was to me. I could recognize it anywhere. I thought that even if I was deaf, all hearing lost completely, I'd still be able to hear his voice through the thick silence.
“Lover.” he'd been calling me that lately. Quite a lot. He didn't even bother with my name, not even my alias. I wished he'd call me a name, Minseok or Xiumin...mostly Minseok.
But that wasn't true. I didn't want this man, Kris my keeper, to call me Minseok. This man could call me Xiumin all he wanted. That was the only name he had rights to.
I wanted my Kris, the young man I'd left behind. Now that man was aloud to call me Minseok. He was aloud to moan my name, coo at me like a baby, whisper it in my ear. My Kris.
The balcony doors were shut quietly and I began to ready myself mentally. I moved to the bed and had my robe opened already when I heard him sigh loudly. I looked up curiously.
He wasn't coming near the bed, he was standing at the door still. His arms were crossed over an all black suit with a white tie. My brow scrunched.
“I'm not here to fuck you.” he informed with a piercing glare. Oh...he wasn't?
I came to sit on my knees on the bed, my head tilting to the side. If he wasn't here for sex then what could he possibly want to do? Maybe he wanted to watch me? He sighed heavily again and pushed back his already slicked hair. I'd grown accustom to the shocking blonde. It was a major contrast to the midnight black he used to have. He gave me one last look. It told me he was debating something. He seemed to make up his mind and went to my vanity and grabbed the chair there. With a huff he dragged it over to the side of my bed and sat down.
My face was completely frozen. This was not what I was used to. I could only blink silently as he mentally debated with himself. He licked his lips and muttered,
“You said you wanted to talk.”
I scowled and shook my head. I'd never said that. I had no clue what he was talking about. And even if those words had been said, why was he suddenly deciding now was the time to talk?
Kris rolled his eyes, “When you first got here. You said you wanted to talk about this. You said you didn't understand what was going on, so let's talk.”
My scowl was still present. What the hell was he talking about...
“Kris, can we talk for a second, I need to understand this..this...what is going on?”
I was surprised at the amount of annoyance I felt. He couldn't be serious. He was wanted to talk now, after five months of my torture, he wanted to talk with me now? He had to be kidding. How could he even want to talk now? I was pretty sure I got it. I was a fuck toy and nothing more. I was here for the purpose of letting Kris Wu Fan get off. I held no other purpose.
“I don't want to talk.” I turned away and began to close up my robe. I heard him scoff, I felt the bed dip. His large hands shoved me down in to the sheets and I barely had time to squeak in surprise.
The expectation was that he would lean down, kiss me and then fuck me like usual. Maybe I'd pissed him of now so he was going to take it out on me through sex. This I was used to, this was easy.
But he didn't. He hovered over me and he stared. He stared so long that it made me uncomfortable and I tried to scoot away. But his hands were tight on my shoulders and kept me in place.
I'd always thought his thinking face was cute.
Kris almost looked sad, “You dumped me.”
My mouth fell slightly open. I felt a small breath leave me and my heart beat increased. He was bringing up the past. He'd asked me twice now, why did I end it? But this time he wasn't asking. By the tone of his voice...he was confessing something.
My keeper sat up again and I followed. We stayed side by side, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You dumped me out of nowhere. For no reason. You never explained yourself and you left me a wreck. You, the one person I trusted with everything, left me.” Kris was indeed confessing. He really did want to talk. I felt out of my comfort zone. We'd never talked about this before. I'd never heard how he'd felt after our break up.
He threw me the most hate filled glare, worse than the ones before. It told me I'd seriously hurt him, and I'd known that from before. I knew how much it had hurt him, as he cried in my arms and begged me to stay and to tell him the truth.
His voice shook and tears threatened to fall down, “You left me with my father Minseok. You left me behind with the one person I hated-no loathed. You promised you'd always be with me, that you'd stay no matter what. You supported me through all of my father's bullshit and I-I found fucking comfort in you. You were the one to stay beside me and defend me against him.”
For a second my heart fluttered. He'd used my name, my real name.
But then a terrible flood of dread washed over me.
I'd never thought of that. I'd never thought about how I was leaving Kris with that monster.
Kris hated his father. The man didn't act like a father first off, and he treated Kris like he was the cockroach of the world. To say he was hard on Kris was an major understatement. He hounded Kris day and night, told him a million times that he was worthless and that he would never live up to the family name. Several times I'd had to ice bruises on my boyfriend's back from their arguments.
I felt the accusation was just as he choked out, “You're worse than him. I hate you for it. How could you do that to me? Leave me with him, let me face him alone when you knew!”
I hadn't felt a need to hold Kris in over five years. Especially during my time with him here, I'd felt no sympathy for him. But in that moment I could see him. My Kris, the gentle giant who kept to himself. The boy who was afraid of his father and who leaned on me for support. I was indeed the worst. My arms twitched to pull his head in to my lap, to wrap around and hug him, to pull him to me so we could kiss. Anything to take away my Kris' pain.
But he changed quickly. I saw the boy disappear and the man who was keeping me prisoner come back. He glared at me and his voice was very even.
“I hate you, and you owe me five years for all the shit I had to go through on my own. I want you to feel the way I suffered.”
I gulped. I deserved that. When he talked like that, when he pointed out my faults that way I could only agree with him. I should suffer as he did. But...I should suffer in this way?
Kris looked up to the ceiling and his glare softened, “But, I find that even though you're suffering I am not getting any satisfaction from it. You are empty, I've made you that way.”
The bed shifted as he turned his body so that he was facing me fully. And then came his stare again.
“You wanted to know what this is, and what this all meant. I'm telling you. I wanted to own you, you are my property for the next five years. Why? Because you owe me those years. You have to be isolated from your family, from freedom just as I was. You are mine, you will do as I say.”
This was what I'd wanted in the first, this explanation.
“I am keeping you as a hostage yes but I will really be using you as my lover. I want the passion and the moans and the sex that used to make us feel alive. Sometimes I'll be rough because I'm still pissed at you for what you did to me. Sometimes I'll be sweet because I yearn for our past. But I'm a business man Minseok and you are in debt to me. It's time to pay up. Do you not agree?”
Did I agree?
When I thought about the reason I'd truly left him, it seemed so petty. I'd made a huge mistake in leaving him. I'd caused so much more damage by trying to protect myself.
I was the reason he was like this now. I'd abandoned him, jumped ship and left him to sink. I was the cause of his new demeanor. This man I hated so much was my masterpiece.
“I will treat you nice, if you act the way I want you to. If you do everything I tell you to.” he was leaning closer to me. I could feel his breath on my lips. It was warm and it smelled like alcohol.
If I did what he wanted, I'd suffer no more. Or at least, I wouldn't suffer how I had in the past. I could make my years here semi-pleasant.
But what really came to mind was that if I acted the way he wanted, maybe I could fix him. Maybe I could pull the ship out of the depths and repair it. Maybe one day it would float again.
My voice shook as I whispered against his lips, “I owe you, everything. I'm the worst and I owe you.”
His familiar weight pressed me down until I laid beneath him. His lips were insistent, I kissed back for the first time in a long time.
When his tongue traced my bottom lip I opened it willingly, I ran my fingers in to his hair. A sigh left me he slowly ground his erection down on to my hip. When I gasped at the friction a sound resonated from his chest. It sounded like he was pleased that he was finally getting some feedback from me.
He settled in between my legs and opened up the top of my robe to reveal my chest.
The more I wined and shuddered the harder his bites were. He harshly took one of my hard buds in to his mouth, rolling it and sucking. I arched in to his touch, I panted and my hips started to move on their own.
His lips worked their up to my neck and jaw, trailing kisses up and down to mark me.
“You're still going to suffer,” his tongue left a strip of saliva up my neck and I shivered, “some days I'll treat you coldly, I'll punish you.”
I couldn't hold back breathy moan as his hand reached between us to grope my hard dick. I wiggled my hips around in hopes that he'd start to jack me off. But he squeezed tightly and tears pricked my eyes.
“Other days I'll be sweet and I'll satisfy you in so many ways.” and his grip loosened, his thumb teasing the head of my erection. I groaned my hands came to rest around his neck. He growled and started grinding his own hardness down on mine, the friction of his hand through my silk robe was making me hot, the press of his own cock over mine made me mewl in delight.
When he suddenly stopped I laid still, gasping for air and watching him as he traced my lips with his free hand. He held my jaw and gave it a pinch before smirking, “You're mine. Understand?”
I was his. He owned me. I'd signed on the dotted line had I not? I owed him.
“I'm yours.” I craned my neck up to kiss him myself. His long fingers pulled open my robe fully, leaving me naked and ready for him. Why was I suddenly so eager to have him?
I was sorry. I wanted to apologize. It was my fault.
But I wasn't going to say it out loud. This man was still a monster and he was still my kidnapper.
The man in front of me, I hated. But I longed for the man I'd fallen in love with. If this could bring him back, if this could make up for my wrong doings...
My whole body twitched, his length slowly pulled out before it rolled back in. That time, after his confession, our sex was slick and slow, it was hot and breath taking. Kris sat up on his knees and pulled me so my legs wrapped around his waist. And he rolled his hips slowly and precisely.
He wasn't rushed, he wasn't angry. He was going agonizingly slow because he wanted me to suffer.
Just as my pleasure would build up and my abs would tense, he'd stop. Kris would watch me come down from my almost orgasm and then he'd start again. The slow rolls, the sound of his cock thrusting in and out of me. The feeling of it, tight and wet made my body feel like it was going to burn up. It made my mind hazy this fucking he was doing. It made me absolutely crazy.
So crazy that I begged, “Kris, please just-faster I need-” I whispered and dared to reach for my erection. It lay on my stomach, red and dripping for release. He was quick to grab my hand and push it.
“Shut the fuck up.” his tone was dangerous. I was in danger. I bit back my pleading and tried to meet his thrust. I tried and failed, he held me down and went at his own pace.
It felt like hours before he finally laid on top of me and quickened his thrusting. It was so sudden I chocked on air and clung to his back. I moaned his name loudly, I kissed him back.
“Who do you belong to?” he grunted in my ear.
“You.” I cried and my nails pierced the skin on his back.
“Say it.” his voice broke and I knew he was close.
“I'm yours Kris.” my back arched as I felt myself hit the edge. His hips stuttered and his grip tightened to leave bruises on my waist. He let out a low moan and released in to me, my own orgasm painting my stomach between us. Before he pulled out he pinched my ear lobe between his teeth. I gasped at the pain and tried to get away.
He stayed on top of me for a few minutes catching his breath. And I gingerly touched his matted hair on his forehead. It was almost like the past, this scene. Kris laying on top of me, staring at me while I wiped his hair out of his face. It was close.
But I hated this man, and he was taking revenge on me.
He got up and got dressed, he pushed back his hair and made sure there were no stains on his pants. Before he left he turned to me and smirked.
“Glad we could have this talk Lover.”
He still wasn't my Kris. I hated him.
--Six Years and 8 Months Earlier--
I loved him. I was in love with Kris Wu Fan and I'd just realized it.
Christmas was coming up soon, and I was head over heels for the knew kid, who'd become my best friend. Ever since I'd learned his name we were inseparable. Like a giant puppy he followed me around with his intense yet pleading eyes. How could I deny him? He was too sweet to hurt. It was rare that I even cared about outsiders, I was a Kim after all. We cared about ourselves, our family and our money. Any other person who tried to cling to me would have been shoved aside and threatened. Even if they were handsome.
But Kris was different. He was my opposite. Kris was the giant who didn't want to hurt a soul. I was the feisty chihuahua with a nasty bite. He had no problem hearing my rants, he didn't judge me because of the rumors about my family, he told me I was beautiful. It didn't take long before I smiled a him and accepted him. We hung out together and studied together. We ate together and we ditched Jongdae and his nagging together. Kris was my best friend and I'd fallen in love with him.
The giant boy sat next to me quietly, we were doing our homework during class. The other students talked and worked around us. But I felt like it was only us two in the world. Come to find out the new kid wasn't only really good looking, he was really smart too. And not just book smart. Kris was creative, he thought outside of the box. His mind was a big maze. But really you were the one wondering around the maze and he watched you earnestly.
I peeked beside me and saw him scribbling down on the worksheet that was due tomorrow. We'd become close quickly. It was easy to care for him, to want to protect him. From his looks it didn't seem he needed someone to take care of him, but his personality said otherwise.
Kris was shy and kept to himself. He didn't go out of his way to socialize and he was honestly a tad awkward. But I liked that about him. He leaned on me and he smiled only for me. I noticed he didn't laugh at anyone else's jokes or let them borrow his pens. Only me. He was cute.
I started calling him 'giant' and he named me 'Minseokie'. I would have cringed if anyone else had called me by that cheesy nickname, but it was Kris. He was gentle and kind, he was honest and awkward. He had really long fingers and a strong gaze. Kris made my heart flutter, I loved that.
“I like you.” my confession slipped out before I could even think about it really. I felt all the blood drain from my face and my mouth went dry.
Kris looked up from his work with innocent eyes. I swallowed.
All sound around us went quiet. It was just me and him. No one else existed and I felt happy.
And then he smiled, he was so cute when he smiled, and he scooted his small desk a little closer to mine. He continued to smile as his large hand reached out and gently held mine. It was simple and sweet, he was telling me that he returned my feelings. My fingers shook but I returned his grasp and squeezed lightly. The sound of his deep chuckle brought all the blood back to my cheeks and I quickly looked away. Our hands swung together in the aisle and no one dared to try and walk through our row.
His thumb brushed my knuckles, “I like you too.” I could've melted on the spot.
We went back to work. Kris never let go of my hand and I never stopped blushing.
--Present--
Lay had walked in a few minutes after Kris. He quickly informed me that I wouldn't be cooking that night and to simply be clean and ready to eat. I asked if I could have some wine sent up and he nodded, leaving me to my own thoughts.
I drew a bath for myself. Sinking in to the warm water I felt my muscles give and my breathing even out. The servant named Jiyoung came in later with my bottle of wine and glass.
When I was finally alone, completely alone, I cried. After a few sips of the alcohol tears quickly appeared and fell down to join the bath water. My hands came up to cover my eyes, to tug at my hair as I growled and sobbed harder. My voice echoed off the bathroom walls. I hugged myself and regret was what I felt. Longing, regret and frustration.
“I'm so sorry,” I gritted my teeth because I wanted to scream it. But I held it back and let the ache in my chest spread, “It's all my fault I'm sorry.” slamming my fist in to my chest made me feel a tiny bit better. Punching the side of the tub helped ease the regret.
This was all my fault. I'd ruined him, I was paying for it and now I hated him.
How could I have been so selfish and stupid? I hadn't even bothered to ask him then. I'd assumed the worse was to come and left so quickly. I'd been stubborn and selfish so so selfish.
I'd left him alone, I'd promised to stay beside him forever and I'd ditched him before we could even start a life together.
I deserved this. I deserved this hell, to be kept here so I could learn a lesson. I would have to suffer through my time here.
A broken cry left my lips and did my best back to stop from screaming.
“I'm sorry! I still love you, I'm sorry!” I sobbed and my head fell to the edge of the tub. I should have told him that before. I should have told him that five years ago so things could have been fixed. Right when he'd asked my why I was doing it, why I was breaking up with him I should have been honest. None of this would have happened. I could have left with him, we could have been together.
What an idiot I was. How selfish and disgusting I was. I was the worse than his father.
I couldn't tell him I was sorry though could I? It was a little too late for that.
~ ~ ~
The diamond earrings stared at me and I stared back. They were at least two carats, they were stunning and sitting snugly in the black cushion of their blue box. I couldn't even touch them I was too shocked.
I'd dressed up for dinner, wearing one of the many nice collared shirts with a bow tie. Just the way Kris liked because I was going to be a good lover from now on. At least I wasn't going to act numb, and I wasn't going to fight him like crazy either.
Sulli was at my door when I was ready to go. Because we were alone for a brief moment she smiled and told me I looked very handsome. I returned her smile and thanked her for the compliment. Kris was already seated at the dining table when I arrived. He was a bit more casual in a white collared shirt with the two top buttons undone. His fingers were still lined with huge rings and he still looked like a million bucks.
The dinner was quiet and we were served steak shrimp and potatoes. It was a very classy meal, and Kris had wine brought out instead of his normal brandy. I took the sipped the wine happily and enjoyed my dinner, doing my best to ignore his intense eyes watching my every move.
And then when the table had been cleared and before dessert was served, Kris snapped his fingers. Lay was already in the room with us and stepped away from the rest of the servants to hold out a small dark blue box which was handed to Kris. I watched with curiousity and then my keeper smirked at me.
He slid the box over to me, “Here. A gift for being nice.”
Tentatively I reached and took it. My mouth fell slightly open when I opened it. It was a jewelry box, it held a pair of diamond studs. The twinkled in my vision. I read the small print in the box and realized they were 3 carat and set in a gold frame. I'd never received diamonds from anyone. Sure I'd stolen some jewels here and there, sold them to family members for profit. But not once in my life had I received them as a gift like this. I looked at Kris and he was looking at me with...
My mind didn't want to name the emotion.
“For being nice?” I breathed. And he got up to come sit right next to me. His hand placed itself on my upper thigh and I squirmed slightly in my seat. “I-my ears aren't pierced though...” I slightly pouted. Even if the earrings were a gift from Kris they were freaking diamonds and they were gorgeous. It made me sad that I wouldn't be able to wear them.
I shivered slightly as his fingers gently massaged my thigh. He shrugged, “We'll have Tao pierce them tomorrow. I'd like you to wear them everyday.”
My mouth went dry. “T-Tao?” I could just picture the bodyguard's sinister smile as he approached me with a piercing gun. And then I could see him stabbing it in to my forehead instead of my ear. I shuddered.
“Yes, he pierced my ears for me. I'll have him do yours too.” my hand flew up to stop his from wandering up further. It was close to my crotch and before I got turned on I needed to ask him if it was possible for me not to die before I got to wear these lovely earrings.
I gulped, “Why can't Lay or Sulli do it?” Kris' brow furrowed. He pushed against my hand and finally got to rub his palm over my soft member. I tensed and held on to his arm, letting out a small gasp as the heat began to travel down south.
“Lay will be busy helping me. And who the hell is Sulli?” he asked. I glanced over quickly to see Lay holding back a laugh with a red faced Sulli next to him. The other servants were all biting back smiles and I realized Kris didn't know anyone besides Tao and Lay. Figures that Kris didn't know the names of his own employees.
“N-nevermind. O-kay.” I bit my lip as the pleasure in my semi-hard dick increased. Kris had unzipped my pants and his hand was shoved inside my briefs already. I clung to his arm and let my hips move freely to meet his hand. Kris' tongue licked up my neck and I tilted my head back to give him more room. God I hated him, he was disgusting.
His lips kissed my earlobe, “You're being so good my lover” I panted when he flicked his wrist faster.
My eyes closed and I hissed, his thumb teased my slit. It dug in deep and my body tensed a the sensation. My mouth fell open and he took the opportunity to suck my tongue between his teeth.
“Stand up and bend over the table.” he growled. I got up on wobbly legs, his hands held my hips to support me. When I noticed that Lay and the other servant had already vacated the room I fell easily on to the dining table. The air hit my back side quickly when Kris shoved my pants down to my knees. He started off with two fingers because he knew I could handle that.
Willing myself to relax I rocked my hips against his digits and sighed.
His dark chuckled behind me made me cringe, “You hate me don't you? You hate what I've become right?” his scissored my opening with three fingers and I opened my legs a little wider. I rested my face on my arms and nodded my head. He seemed to find that humorous and laughed loudly.
“You know its your fault right?” I nodded. He pressed his cock against my entrance and I tensed visibly. His hand slapped my ass and ordered for me to relax. Taking deep breaths I did my best. He leaned over my back and hooked an arm around my neck as he pushed all the way in. His groan and the warmth of his body on mine made me tremble. I felt so full.
I always felt full when he was inside me.
“Wanna know something funny?” he grunted as he pulled out and then shoved back in, moving my whole body and making me moan loudly. I cried out when he grabbed my chin and made my neck turn back so I could meet his eyes. That heavy gaze, it was strong and suffocating.
He kissed me roughly, “You're going to fall in love with me again. And you're going to end up hating yourself more than you hate me. You'll love me now, and you'll truly suffer then lover.”
I shook my head quickly. That was impossible. I hated him. I loathed this man. I only wanted to survive for the two years until my family came to save me. I would never learn to love this monster, even if he was my creation. I moaned freely as he continued thrusting in to me easily, he leaned back and held my cheeks open. Well even if I hated him, even if I despised him and planned on escaping from his eventually...at least I would get good sex out of it. If he continued to treat me nicely, I'd act nice and we'd both get what we wanted out of this situation.
He'd get his lover and his revenge. I'd get...nothing. But at least there wouldn't be anymore overwhelming bruises or rough handling.
~ ~ ~
“No no no! Someone save me!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and clawed at the carpet. My fingertips barely got a hold on the small threads in the floor before a hand slapped on to my ankle and tugged.
I was dragged backwards until a strong hand pulled on the back of my shirt to bring me up from the floor. The whimper I let out was pathetic and I didn't care. I was thrown back in to the chair I'd escaped from previously. My cries were muffled by a rough hand covering my mouth. I wanted to cry because surely I was going to die.
Tao sneered at me and straddled me in the chair. He lifted up the gun he was going to use to poke a hole in my earlobe. My eyes widened in panic and I tried turn my face away. The diamond earring was already loaded in the gun and ready to go. Tao pressed the heel of his palm against my jaw to hold my head still as I felt the press of the gun against my skin. He was going to kill me. He was going to stab the earring in to my neck and kill me. I gasped for air.
“Agh!” I squeaked as the earrings stabbed in and was placed correctly. Immediately I felt the blood throbbing and tears pricked my eyes. Tao huffed and smacked my forehead.
“Don't be such a baby. Aren't you supposed to be some big time theft man?” the Chinese man forced me to turn my head so he could get to the other ear. He leaned back on my lap as he got the next earring locked and loaded. I pouted and sniffled. “Don't move so much this time, unless you want them to be uneven.” he warned and held my jaw in place again. I gritted my teeth and my clenched my fists.
The pinch was quick again and I squeaked. Tao sighed, turning my face back and forth to check his work. When he seemed satisfied he slapped me not so lightly with a grin. “Wasn't too bad huh?”
I glared, “You enjoyed that too much.”
Tao leaned close and I shrank back, “This is the closest I'll get to actually stabbing you. Of course I enjoyed it you little bitch.” well that was rude.
With out thinking I shoved him off my lap. He fell for a split second but was back on his feet and had me in a headlock seconds later. I struggled to get away, but I got a knee to my stomach instead. The force of his assault knocked the wind out of me and I fell to the floor curling in to myself. My ears were throbbing, my stomach was falling apart, Tao was evil. “Asshole!” I coughed out. The servant wasn't fazed by my insult and lightly tapped me with his foot. I rolled over on my side with a groan while he cackled in delight.
“Maybe I should tell Kris you want a belly button piercing...” he mumbled while exiting my room.
Well at least Kris wasn't rough handling me anymore. Two years. I could so do this.
I vaguely wondered if Chen or any of my family was even looking for me...