The Flower and The River
Title: The Flower and The River
Chapter: 18
Pairing: Xiuris (Xiumin/Kris)
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: The flower naturally grows near the river that flows with love and patience. It is happy and content near the wide expanse of water that drifts downstream. The river needs the flower, it finds it too beautiful to let go. It give whatever it has to make sure the flower and can bloom.
A/N: uuuuh yea chapter eighteen. here we go, to and fro..hoe.
I sensed Wu Fan before he could get far in to the bathroom. He had just taken a step on to the tile, one foot still on the wood floor of our bedroom. His eyes were on me, waiting for a signal.
We'd all sat in the living room for a few hours and listened to my husband and Tao fight. Most of it was in Mandarin, I had no clue what they were saying. All I knew was how I felt.
I was still overly pissed off.
So while Wu Fan and Tao screamed at each other in the kitchen, I sat very still on the couch, leaning on Luhan and waiting for this nightmare to be over.
Eventually I calmed down and Rui woke up and was hungry. I didn't go in the kitchen, Luhan went in for me since Yixing still wanted to strangle Tao, and got all of us something to eat. When the rain let down for a bit I carried my baby outside, Luhan following and we sat out on the porch.
“You don't have to worry about us so much Lu. I just need to stay away from Wu Fan for awhile.” I mentioned as my friend kept his eyes on Rui. My son had gotten up from my lap and started building small mud pies for his own entertainment.
Luhan turned to me, his eyes were so wide and clear, he was very serious.
“I care for Rui Jing as if he were my own. I want to stay by both of your sides.” he told me. I nodded. He sighed and held his knees to his chest, watching the small specks of moisture fall to the ground.
“You have become a very important friend Minseok. And I always want to make sure your happy. I used to look out for Wu Fan a lot, because he was alone. I never had to look out too much for Dae or Yix. They always had each other. You arrived, and I thought, good I don't have to look out for people anymore. But then Rui came.” I watched at the softness in his eyes focused on my baby. Rui was splashing the mud this way and that, laughing and enjoying himself. He probably didn't even remember the scary scene he'd scene before.
“And I knew how important he was to you. And he was really important to me too. I want to make sure he's happy, which of course makes you happy. See how it works?” he checked with a small smile. I smiled and nodded. Luhan did have a different connection to Rui. When I or Wu Fan weren't there, it was Luhan's lap Rui climbed in to for rest, or ran to for a smile. Luhan could match Rui's mental level, he knew what my four year old was thinking before I could figure out it sometimes. Since Luhan made Rui happy, Luhan made me happy, and that made Luhan happy.
“Thank you then. For wanting to protect him.” I was grateful for my friend. I'd always been grateful to him for just being himself.
“I'd give my life for him Minseok. Everything he ever wanted I'd give it. No questions asked.” his eyes followed my baby's movements carefully. He was glad to see him happy, but there was that anticipation of just in case Rui hurt himself.
“I know what you mean.” I sighed. “Although right now he probably just wants someone to put mud on. So I don't think we need to give him much.” I joked. Luhan grinned and already was on his feet, jumping over to play. I was right, Rui looked up to see his smiling uncle and lifted up his hands. Luhan picked him up and was greeted with a handful of mud to his cheek.
“Mama I don't want!” Rui whined. He kicked his feet against my side as I carried him inside. He was almost covered from head to toe in dried mud. Whether he liked it or not he was getting a bath and then going to bed. It was getting late, the sun was setting and it had been a long day. I asked Luhan to get Rui something for dinner while I bathed him and then took my grumpy baby in to the bathroom.
Even though Rui complained about bathing, once I gave him a toy to play with he had no problem spitting water at me and letting me mess with his hair. I was finally smiling freely, laughing and enjoying myself as my baby giggled at me.
Just as I was rinsing Rui's hair I felt the presence behind me. He was right there, standing a few feet away from me. I wasn't planning on acknowledging him at first.
But then Rui had looked up from my face and seen Wu Fan standing there.
“Hi Papa!” Rui waved and sprinkled water on me as he did so. I knew Wu Fan waved back and that he was getting closer because Rui's face followed him. He was on the left of me, probably waiting until I looked at him.
I ignored him and finished rinsing Rui. When he was done I got up to get a towel. I briefly made eye contact with Wu Fan as he walked past me, towel in hand and already wrapping my son up.
I could't exactly be mad at my baby for being happy about his Papa being there. Technically he hadn't seen his Papa in a week and I'd spent most of the day with Rui anyway. I watched with lethal eyes as Wu Fan carried my baby in to his room. I had to follow, Rui called for me in panic and of course I couldn't deny him.
I walked in on Wu Fan pulling out some pajamas and I rushed up to him and snatched them out of his hands. He didn't say anything, only glared down at me.
“Those are dirty.” I huffed, pushed past him and pulled out a fresh set. I kept all my focus on Rui, pulling on his pajamas while Wu Fan continued to dry his wet hair. Rui was quiet, he usually was around his bedtime. His black eyes watched me carefully, so I tried to put on a perfect smile. I didn't want him to feel the negativity he'd felt earlier. It broke my heart to think that I'd been part of the cause that had made him so upset.
“Mama,” Rui called.
“Yes little gem?” I answered. His black eyes were getting heavy with sleep. His little lips were pouting though. And I watched as wetness gathered around his eyes.
“No more fighting. Okay?” he said.
Wu Fand I met gazes. I couldn't breath and I felt extremely stupid. Of course he remembered. He'd seen everything, seen me become violent and angry and...terrifying. I didn't want him to see that. I didn't want him to be sad and so upset and right then I was the cause of that.
“Mama won't fight anymore. Everything's okay.” Wu Fan pulled Rui in to his arms, holding him closely and pressing kisses to his head. Not out of spite for Wu Fan, but because I felt sorry did I pull my baby out of my husband's arms and hug him myself.
“I'm sorry I scared you.” I whispered. I rubbed his back and he wrapped his little arms around my neck. I could feel my tears reaching my eyes, the pain in the back of my throat as I swallowed.
I didn't pull away when Wu Fan approached us, wiping my tears away and hugging us. For a minute it didn't matter what had happened, it didn't matter how upset I was with Wu Fan. Because for that minute I actually needed him, to keep me from falling apart. I needed his arms around me and Rui because I felt so guilty and upset for making my baby scared. He was everything to me. I never wanted to be the reason Rui was genuinely upset or scared.
Rui fell asleep like that, me and Wu Fan jointly holding him. We both laid him down and tucked him in, both placing kisses on his chubby cheeks before leaving.
It was like walking through a time capsule. Because the second Rui's door was closed, all the anger I'd had from before came rushing back.
“Minseok, can we talk please?” his quiet voice asked from behind me. I couldn't look at him. The seed of doubt was making my head hurt. I wanted to get away from him. He had betrayed me and chosen Tao. He wanted to let her stay here when all I wanted was for her to leave.
“I'm taking a shower.” I said to him, not bothering to answer his question and walked away. I shut the bathroom door with an audible slam.
I put the water on the highest heat my body could stand. The hot water falling over my body let my strained muscles relax, the throbbing in my head was numbed.
I needed my sanity back. I couldn't think rationally. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to leave him. I just needed to get out of here.
But I didn't want to leave him. I wanted him to make this all better. I wanted her to just leave so I could have my husband back to myself. Because it was just the day before when I'd been in his arms and he'd been inside of me and everything had been perfect.
Was it too much to ask for her not to be here? Was I really that selfish to want my baby safe? I couldn't understand how Wu Fan would want to protect her, this woman who'd seemed to affect everyone in this house negatively. The only reason I could think of was because he wanted her and not me.
I tensed up instantly. I held my breath as my tears started to break through my strength. He was behind me, his hands running up my sides. He joined me under the water, attaching himself to me. His arms wrapped across my chest as his lips grazed my ear.
I wanted him to go away. I didn't want him touching me. He wanted her not me. But his touch was so familiar and it felt so good. I wanted to believe that the way he tugged at my ear lobe with his teeth meant he loved me, that the way he kissed my shoulder tenderly was because he loved me. I wanted to believe the way he caressed the whole expanse of my chest was because he wanted me and not her. Wu Fan wanted me, he'd married me because he'd wanted me. He was here because he wanted me. Not her.
“No. I wouldn't make you leave Tao.” he admitted.
“Stop.” I growled, and tried to push him away. But he didn't move away. Instead he sucked on my neck and reached for my erection. I'd tried to not get hard, to stay upset. But it was Wu Fan, he was my husband whom I loved. He knew what made feel good, he knew my body like the back of his hand. As his finger teased my slit I was in between enjoying myself and trying to get him off of me. I had one hand holding myself up on the tile walls, the other reaching behind me to push him.
“Wu Fan, stop it.” I begged. He pushed me against the tile wall, out of the direct stream of the water. I shuddered at the colder air hitting my skin and not at the way his hands were molesting me.
“Stay mad at me, fine.” he said with his mouth against my shoulder, “but let me do this. I want you.”
I didn't give in because of how good it felt.
I gave in because he'd said it. He wanted me. Wu Fan said he wanted me and my hand moved from pushing him away to holding him against me. My head fell back against his shoulder as he tugged at my hard length. One of his hands moved to toy with my hard nipples and I bit my bottom lip to keep my sounds quiet. He moved faster and I thought I was going to draw blood from lip.
“Turn around.” he ordered. I did. He picked me up, using the shower wall to hold me up as he pushed in to me. I didn't want to look at him, I knew what he looked like. When he acted like he wanted me, when he gave me looks of love and devotion that weren't real. I closed my eyes as he continued. He was holding me so tenderly, his thrusts weren't rushed. He was slow and deep, I could feel him staring at me intensely.
“Hurry up.” I gasped. He didn't, instead reaching to kiss me. I turned my head away. He didn't really want me. He wanted her to stay. Why was I doing this?
“Wu Fan,” I started. But I'd made the mistake of opening my eyes to look at him. His eyes were staring, his deep eyes that brought me back to everything I loved about him. The way he looked at me, with love and devotion and passion and everything I ever wanted.
His eyes said he wanted me. His eyes said that he still loved me, and I loved him.
“Wu Fan.” I moaned and leaned forward and pressed my mouth to his. I couldn't stop the soft noises I made as he devoured my mouth. When I turned my head to breath he moved to my jaw and worked down to my neck. I clung to his back, running my hands over his wet muscles and meeting his thrusts. I entangled my fingers in his wet hair, staring at him straight in the eye as he pushed in to me, harder and a bit faster for my pleasure. I rested my forehead against his for the rest of the time, once in awhile pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“Don't pick her over me okay?” my voice was broken, the hot tears I'd been holding in started to fall. One of his hands came up to wipe away m tears, caressing my cheek like he always did. I cried harder, kissing him with desperation. I wanted him to pick me.
“You're my flower Minseok.” he told me. His thrusts were getting faster, he was close.
“I love you. Only you. I promise.” he said, I was close too. He began to pull at my erection, bringing me even closer. My head fell back against the tile, I felt him kissing my collarbone.
He said he still loved me. He promised.
He came before me, his hand bringing me to completion. I wanted to believe him.
We rinsed off together, and he was still attached to me. When we got out of the shower he stayed next to me and dried me off. He carried me to bed, my legs wrapped around his waist and never wanting to let him go. He'd promised, he loved me.
At first he'd tried to let me sleep with my head on his chest, but I didn't want that. I wanted his arms arms around me, his head asleep on my back and his legs draped over mine. The way he always slept with me. That was the way he made me feel safe. I fell asleep with the sensation of his kisses to my back. He was my river. He loved me.
~ ~ ~
Wu Fan was already awake when I opened my eyes. I knew he was by the difference in his breathing even though I couldn't see his face. When he realized I was awake as well he kissed my back sweetly, moving so I could turn on to my back.
“Are you going to talk to me now?” he asked. I nodded. He smiled gently, leaning down for a kiss. I didn't comply.
“Start talking.” I said. He sighed, fell on to his back, and began.
“I'm not picking her over you.” he said with a straight face. I scowled. Yes he was.
“I'm trying to fix this, but I can't just kick her out. Whether you like it or not Minseok at one point I was married to her and she was my friend. Yes, I don't like her so much, she's a bitch and a very nasty one at that. Yes, I'm letting her stay here. ButI do not have feelings for her like I do you. I never did. I'm trying to do the right thing, to just let her die or to just let her fend for herself against these men following her is not fair. Minseok, she doesn't have anyone else. I am literally her only option.” he'd been staring at the ceiling as he talked. It was hard for him to say everything that was on his mind. But I needed to listen, because if I was honest with myself I never really listened.
“Can you understand this?” he asked. I hated her. I wanted to kill her. And even though I didn't want to, yes I could understand this.
“I know you are worried about Rui. I am too. But I need you to trust me. If danger does come here, you should know that I would do anything to keep Rui and you safe.” he rolled over, scooting closer so that he was perched over me. His eyes were looking down at me, piercing through my wall of stubbornness.
“I thought you loved me most because I was a good person? Can't you see that's what I'm trying to do?” he pushed back my own words in to my face.
I sighed long and heavily. I still hated her. I still wanted to kill her.
“Yes, I understand.” I whispered. I threw him a warning glare when he smiled brightly, “but that doesn't mean I have to like it.” I pushed a harsh finger at his nose.
“I don't like it so much. But I can understand it.” I admitted. I did love my husband because he was a good person, he always did the right thing. Even if it meant upsetting me.
I loved my husband, he loved me. I felt my mind cutting down the weeds the seed of doubt had planted.
“and I'm still mad at you.” I added with a smirk. His face fell instantly and he sucked in annoyed whisk of air.
“Do you expect me to be happy that you just invited this bitch in to our home? She came unwelcome and you just, let her stay. With out even telling me. I felt very betrayed and alone yesterday. Don't do that to me. Tell me things Wu Fan, tell me how you feel before you just do things.” I was running my hand through his soft hair, even though I was supposed to be mad at him. He kissed me, giving me a look of understanding.
“Fine. I tell you more. You listen more.” he shot back. I pouted. I knew he was going to bring that up. But he was right. We were both right. I linked my hands around his neck, a feeling of satisfaction coming over me.
“I was so going to leave you yesterday.” I gloated. He scoffed at me, smiling as well.
“No you weren't. You love me. You just needed time to cool down.” he knew me too well. It was starting to scare me. I pouted at him, because he was right. I would have just needed time to cool down before I going back and talking it out with him.
“What did you and the bitch argue about yesterday?” I asked. He chuckled freely, all the tension between us was completely gone now.
“You mean Tao?” he checked.
“I'm calling her by her true name.” I deadpanned.
“She tried to insult Jongdae, Yixing, Luhan, and you. I told her to shut up. She gets under my skin very easily.” he admitted.
“No shit. And yet you still want to let her stay.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“Don't worry my love. If we get out of all of this alive I'll let you kill her.” he teased. A wide smile broke over my face of excitement.
“Really? Wu Fan I love you!” I kissed him happily. He laughed against my lips, but quickly deepened it, and I hummed in satisfaction.
“Good, can we have sex then?” he asked as he rubbed something very hard against my hip. Already I was getting hot with the thought.
“We just made up last night, I'm tired.” I whined. But I met his kisses and tugged at his soft hair, sighing when he began to rub his thumbs over my nipples.
“They say the honeymoon phase is the best though, let's enjoy it.” he replied. I didn't know when he'd pulled off my underwear but I moaned quietly as our erections rubbed against each other. My hips met his, meeting his pace and I felt my eyes close.
“Honeymoon? You idiot our son could wake up any second.” I gasped. His mouth attacked my chest and I was already submitting to him.
“Then be quiet.” he teased. I bit my lip, enjoying his mouth going down on me. It didn't take long for him to began pounding in to me, rushed and fast. I had to bite on to my wrist to keep quiet, not wanting to wake up our son.
~ ~ ~
“I am an understanding husband. I love my husband. I am an understanding husband.” I chanted quietly to myself. I was standing at the stove, quietly stirring a pot oatmeal for my son. I could feel her glaring at my back. I didn't know where she'd slept, I didn't care. But she was already in the kitchen when Wu Fan and I had gotten up. Regrettably, I had to make breakfast while Wu Fan went back to wake up my little gem. For a few minutes it was just me and Tao.
I heard her get up from the seat she'd been planted in. Her heels made little sharp jolts on the wooden floor. He was standing next to me, her eyes piercing at me.
“At least your cute.” I heard her sigh. When she wasn't yelling or antagonizing people, she had a very soft voice. But I could feel her evil hiss underneath the semi-compliment.
“I mean he could have picked an ugly rat for a lover. But you are pretty good looking I'll give you that.” she mused to herself. I was an understanding husband, and I loved my husband.
“You don't look like a gay.” she continued. I felt it coming. But I was a good husband and I loved my husband. I heard her take another step closer to me.
“A whore yes, but not a gay.” she hissed. I was holding the spoon I'd been stirring with, a scoopful of hot oatmeal inside, I was holding it out to her face.
“Do you really want to test me? I'll kill you. And then you'll ask yourself, while you're in hell of course, why in the world did I run to Wu Fan's home when his husband was going to kill me anyways?” I watched with joy as she eyed my spoonful of oatmeal with worry. One tilt of my hand and it would be all over her face, burning as I went. I was tempted.
“Stop talking to me. Before I decide that I'm not an understanding husband and that I don't love Wu Fan so much.” I warned. Tao took a step back, and I glared at her until she finally retreated all the way back to the table.
Just then Wu Fan came in with Rui in his arms. My baby's hair was a wild mess, his eyes still half way closed. But he was dressed in day clothes and by the way he eyed the oatmeal he was hungry as well.
“Morning Mama.” he croaked out. I smiled and pecked his cheek. Wu Fan leaned for his turn and I bit his cheek a bit. Mostly because he'd left me with that bitch.
“They totally made up.” Jongdae laughed. I rolled my eyes at him. Of course the trio could tell from the way Wu Fan was able to put an arm around me with getting pushed.
“Minseok! I thought we were going to hate him together!” Luhan complained with a smile.
“I was ready to help you pack. I can't believe you made up already.” Yixing added with a smirk. He too had one arm around Jongdae's shoulder, mindlessly playing with some of his lover's hair. The lovely trio could be so helpful sometimes.
“You encouraged my husband to leave me?” Wu Fan gasped.
“I said don't leave him...yet. I didn't know you'd make up so quickly” Yixing smiled.
“Mama, you and Papa made breakfast again?” Rui asked beside me. I could hear the hyenas laughing from across the table. We really needed to stop having these conversations in front of him.
“Yes little gem.” I lied with a smile. Rui made an understanding face, nodding to himself while stuffing his cheeks with more of his oatmeal.
“Mama and Papa always make breakfast early in the morning!” Jongdae snickered.
“They make it nice and hot!” Luhan was laughing so hard he could barely breath.
“I think they cook sausage?” Jongdae added.
“Oh always! Nice hot sausages for breakfast!” Luhan almost fell off his chair. Of course my baby didn't get the joke and nodded like he was trying to be serious and understand. I briefly wondered if he would grow up thinking sex was actually associated with breakfast...
For the remainder of breakfast we were all smiles and laughs. Even though the dark presence sitting next to the back door glared at us.
And there was a point when I'd looked at her too long. And I saw something I hadn't expected. All I'd seen from her was meaneness and anger.
But for a second I swore I saw tears falling down her face as she watched all of us. But then I'd blinked and she was glaring at me with such ferocity it made me hate her even more. I had to look away and smile at my husband who was laughing at something the trio said. He held my hand tightly.
I was and understanding husband, I loved my husband.
We were going to get through this.
Chapter: 18
Pairing: Xiuris (Xiumin/Kris)
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: The flower naturally grows near the river that flows with love and patience. It is happy and content near the wide expanse of water that drifts downstream. The river needs the flower, it finds it too beautiful to let go. It give whatever it has to make sure the flower and can bloom.
A/N: uuuuh yea chapter eighteen. here we go, to and fro..hoe.
I sensed Wu Fan before he could get far in to the bathroom. He had just taken a step on to the tile, one foot still on the wood floor of our bedroom. His eyes were on me, waiting for a signal.
We'd all sat in the living room for a few hours and listened to my husband and Tao fight. Most of it was in Mandarin, I had no clue what they were saying. All I knew was how I felt.
I was still overly pissed off.
So while Wu Fan and Tao screamed at each other in the kitchen, I sat very still on the couch, leaning on Luhan and waiting for this nightmare to be over.
Eventually I calmed down and Rui woke up and was hungry. I didn't go in the kitchen, Luhan went in for me since Yixing still wanted to strangle Tao, and got all of us something to eat. When the rain let down for a bit I carried my baby outside, Luhan following and we sat out on the porch.
“You don't have to worry about us so much Lu. I just need to stay away from Wu Fan for awhile.” I mentioned as my friend kept his eyes on Rui. My son had gotten up from my lap and started building small mud pies for his own entertainment.
Luhan turned to me, his eyes were so wide and clear, he was very serious.
“I care for Rui Jing as if he were my own. I want to stay by both of your sides.” he told me. I nodded. He sighed and held his knees to his chest, watching the small specks of moisture fall to the ground.
“You have become a very important friend Minseok. And I always want to make sure your happy. I used to look out for Wu Fan a lot, because he was alone. I never had to look out too much for Dae or Yix. They always had each other. You arrived, and I thought, good I don't have to look out for people anymore. But then Rui came.” I watched at the softness in his eyes focused on my baby. Rui was splashing the mud this way and that, laughing and enjoying himself. He probably didn't even remember the scary scene he'd scene before.
“And I knew how important he was to you. And he was really important to me too. I want to make sure he's happy, which of course makes you happy. See how it works?” he checked with a small smile. I smiled and nodded. Luhan did have a different connection to Rui. When I or Wu Fan weren't there, it was Luhan's lap Rui climbed in to for rest, or ran to for a smile. Luhan could match Rui's mental level, he knew what my four year old was thinking before I could figure out it sometimes. Since Luhan made Rui happy, Luhan made me happy, and that made Luhan happy.
“Thank you then. For wanting to protect him.” I was grateful for my friend. I'd always been grateful to him for just being himself.
“I'd give my life for him Minseok. Everything he ever wanted I'd give it. No questions asked.” his eyes followed my baby's movements carefully. He was glad to see him happy, but there was that anticipation of just in case Rui hurt himself.
“I know what you mean.” I sighed. “Although right now he probably just wants someone to put mud on. So I don't think we need to give him much.” I joked. Luhan grinned and already was on his feet, jumping over to play. I was right, Rui looked up to see his smiling uncle and lifted up his hands. Luhan picked him up and was greeted with a handful of mud to his cheek.
“Mama I don't want!” Rui whined. He kicked his feet against my side as I carried him inside. He was almost covered from head to toe in dried mud. Whether he liked it or not he was getting a bath and then going to bed. It was getting late, the sun was setting and it had been a long day. I asked Luhan to get Rui something for dinner while I bathed him and then took my grumpy baby in to the bathroom.
Even though Rui complained about bathing, once I gave him a toy to play with he had no problem spitting water at me and letting me mess with his hair. I was finally smiling freely, laughing and enjoying myself as my baby giggled at me.
Just as I was rinsing Rui's hair I felt the presence behind me. He was right there, standing a few feet away from me. I wasn't planning on acknowledging him at first.
But then Rui had looked up from my face and seen Wu Fan standing there.
“Hi Papa!” Rui waved and sprinkled water on me as he did so. I knew Wu Fan waved back and that he was getting closer because Rui's face followed him. He was on the left of me, probably waiting until I looked at him.
I ignored him and finished rinsing Rui. When he was done I got up to get a towel. I briefly made eye contact with Wu Fan as he walked past me, towel in hand and already wrapping my son up.
I could't exactly be mad at my baby for being happy about his Papa being there. Technically he hadn't seen his Papa in a week and I'd spent most of the day with Rui anyway. I watched with lethal eyes as Wu Fan carried my baby in to his room. I had to follow, Rui called for me in panic and of course I couldn't deny him.
I walked in on Wu Fan pulling out some pajamas and I rushed up to him and snatched them out of his hands. He didn't say anything, only glared down at me.
“Those are dirty.” I huffed, pushed past him and pulled out a fresh set. I kept all my focus on Rui, pulling on his pajamas while Wu Fan continued to dry his wet hair. Rui was quiet, he usually was around his bedtime. His black eyes watched me carefully, so I tried to put on a perfect smile. I didn't want him to feel the negativity he'd felt earlier. It broke my heart to think that I'd been part of the cause that had made him so upset.
“Mama,” Rui called.
“Yes little gem?” I answered. His black eyes were getting heavy with sleep. His little lips were pouting though. And I watched as wetness gathered around his eyes.
“No more fighting. Okay?” he said.
Wu Fand I met gazes. I couldn't breath and I felt extremely stupid. Of course he remembered. He'd seen everything, seen me become violent and angry and...terrifying. I didn't want him to see that. I didn't want him to be sad and so upset and right then I was the cause of that.
“Mama won't fight anymore. Everything's okay.” Wu Fan pulled Rui in to his arms, holding him closely and pressing kisses to his head. Not out of spite for Wu Fan, but because I felt sorry did I pull my baby out of my husband's arms and hug him myself.
“I'm sorry I scared you.” I whispered. I rubbed his back and he wrapped his little arms around my neck. I could feel my tears reaching my eyes, the pain in the back of my throat as I swallowed.
I didn't pull away when Wu Fan approached us, wiping my tears away and hugging us. For a minute it didn't matter what had happened, it didn't matter how upset I was with Wu Fan. Because for that minute I actually needed him, to keep me from falling apart. I needed his arms around me and Rui because I felt so guilty and upset for making my baby scared. He was everything to me. I never wanted to be the reason Rui was genuinely upset or scared.
Rui fell asleep like that, me and Wu Fan jointly holding him. We both laid him down and tucked him in, both placing kisses on his chubby cheeks before leaving.
It was like walking through a time capsule. Because the second Rui's door was closed, all the anger I'd had from before came rushing back.
“Minseok, can we talk please?” his quiet voice asked from behind me. I couldn't look at him. The seed of doubt was making my head hurt. I wanted to get away from him. He had betrayed me and chosen Tao. He wanted to let her stay here when all I wanted was for her to leave.
“I'm taking a shower.” I said to him, not bothering to answer his question and walked away. I shut the bathroom door with an audible slam.
I put the water on the highest heat my body could stand. The hot water falling over my body let my strained muscles relax, the throbbing in my head was numbed.
I needed my sanity back. I couldn't think rationally. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to leave him. I just needed to get out of here.
But I didn't want to leave him. I wanted him to make this all better. I wanted her to just leave so I could have my husband back to myself. Because it was just the day before when I'd been in his arms and he'd been inside of me and everything had been perfect.
Was it too much to ask for her not to be here? Was I really that selfish to want my baby safe? I couldn't understand how Wu Fan would want to protect her, this woman who'd seemed to affect everyone in this house negatively. The only reason I could think of was because he wanted her and not me.
I tensed up instantly. I held my breath as my tears started to break through my strength. He was behind me, his hands running up my sides. He joined me under the water, attaching himself to me. His arms wrapped across my chest as his lips grazed my ear.
I wanted him to go away. I didn't want him touching me. He wanted her not me. But his touch was so familiar and it felt so good. I wanted to believe that the way he tugged at my ear lobe with his teeth meant he loved me, that the way he kissed my shoulder tenderly was because he loved me. I wanted to believe the way he caressed the whole expanse of my chest was because he wanted me and not her. Wu Fan wanted me, he'd married me because he'd wanted me. He was here because he wanted me. Not her.
“No. I wouldn't make you leave Tao.” he admitted.
“Stop.” I growled, and tried to push him away. But he didn't move away. Instead he sucked on my neck and reached for my erection. I'd tried to not get hard, to stay upset. But it was Wu Fan, he was my husband whom I loved. He knew what made feel good, he knew my body like the back of his hand. As his finger teased my slit I was in between enjoying myself and trying to get him off of me. I had one hand holding myself up on the tile walls, the other reaching behind me to push him.
“Wu Fan, stop it.” I begged. He pushed me against the tile wall, out of the direct stream of the water. I shuddered at the colder air hitting my skin and not at the way his hands were molesting me.
“Stay mad at me, fine.” he said with his mouth against my shoulder, “but let me do this. I want you.”
I didn't give in because of how good it felt.
I gave in because he'd said it. He wanted me. Wu Fan said he wanted me and my hand moved from pushing him away to holding him against me. My head fell back against his shoulder as he tugged at my hard length. One of his hands moved to toy with my hard nipples and I bit my bottom lip to keep my sounds quiet. He moved faster and I thought I was going to draw blood from lip.
“Turn around.” he ordered. I did. He picked me up, using the shower wall to hold me up as he pushed in to me. I didn't want to look at him, I knew what he looked like. When he acted like he wanted me, when he gave me looks of love and devotion that weren't real. I closed my eyes as he continued. He was holding me so tenderly, his thrusts weren't rushed. He was slow and deep, I could feel him staring at me intensely.
“Hurry up.” I gasped. He didn't, instead reaching to kiss me. I turned my head away. He didn't really want me. He wanted her to stay. Why was I doing this?
“Wu Fan,” I started. But I'd made the mistake of opening my eyes to look at him. His eyes were staring, his deep eyes that brought me back to everything I loved about him. The way he looked at me, with love and devotion and passion and everything I ever wanted.
His eyes said he wanted me. His eyes said that he still loved me, and I loved him.
“Wu Fan.” I moaned and leaned forward and pressed my mouth to his. I couldn't stop the soft noises I made as he devoured my mouth. When I turned my head to breath he moved to my jaw and worked down to my neck. I clung to his back, running my hands over his wet muscles and meeting his thrusts. I entangled my fingers in his wet hair, staring at him straight in the eye as he pushed in to me, harder and a bit faster for my pleasure. I rested my forehead against his for the rest of the time, once in awhile pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“Don't pick her over me okay?” my voice was broken, the hot tears I'd been holding in started to fall. One of his hands came up to wipe away m tears, caressing my cheek like he always did. I cried harder, kissing him with desperation. I wanted him to pick me.
“You're my flower Minseok.” he told me. His thrusts were getting faster, he was close.
“I love you. Only you. I promise.” he said, I was close too. He began to pull at my erection, bringing me even closer. My head fell back against the tile, I felt him kissing my collarbone.
He said he still loved me. He promised.
He came before me, his hand bringing me to completion. I wanted to believe him.
We rinsed off together, and he was still attached to me. When we got out of the shower he stayed next to me and dried me off. He carried me to bed, my legs wrapped around his waist and never wanting to let him go. He'd promised, he loved me.
At first he'd tried to let me sleep with my head on his chest, but I didn't want that. I wanted his arms arms around me, his head asleep on my back and his legs draped over mine. The way he always slept with me. That was the way he made me feel safe. I fell asleep with the sensation of his kisses to my back. He was my river. He loved me.
~ ~ ~
Wu Fan was already awake when I opened my eyes. I knew he was by the difference in his breathing even though I couldn't see his face. When he realized I was awake as well he kissed my back sweetly, moving so I could turn on to my back.
“Are you going to talk to me now?” he asked. I nodded. He smiled gently, leaning down for a kiss. I didn't comply.
“Start talking.” I said. He sighed, fell on to his back, and began.
“I'm not picking her over you.” he said with a straight face. I scowled. Yes he was.
“I'm trying to fix this, but I can't just kick her out. Whether you like it or not Minseok at one point I was married to her and she was my friend. Yes, I don't like her so much, she's a bitch and a very nasty one at that. Yes, I'm letting her stay here. ButI do not have feelings for her like I do you. I never did. I'm trying to do the right thing, to just let her die or to just let her fend for herself against these men following her is not fair. Minseok, she doesn't have anyone else. I am literally her only option.” he'd been staring at the ceiling as he talked. It was hard for him to say everything that was on his mind. But I needed to listen, because if I was honest with myself I never really listened.
“Can you understand this?” he asked. I hated her. I wanted to kill her. And even though I didn't want to, yes I could understand this.
“I know you are worried about Rui. I am too. But I need you to trust me. If danger does come here, you should know that I would do anything to keep Rui and you safe.” he rolled over, scooting closer so that he was perched over me. His eyes were looking down at me, piercing through my wall of stubbornness.
“I thought you loved me most because I was a good person? Can't you see that's what I'm trying to do?” he pushed back my own words in to my face.
I sighed long and heavily. I still hated her. I still wanted to kill her.
“Yes, I understand.” I whispered. I threw him a warning glare when he smiled brightly, “but that doesn't mean I have to like it.” I pushed a harsh finger at his nose.
“I don't like it so much. But I can understand it.” I admitted. I did love my husband because he was a good person, he always did the right thing. Even if it meant upsetting me.
I loved my husband, he loved me. I felt my mind cutting down the weeds the seed of doubt had planted.
“and I'm still mad at you.” I added with a smirk. His face fell instantly and he sucked in annoyed whisk of air.
“Do you expect me to be happy that you just invited this bitch in to our home? She came unwelcome and you just, let her stay. With out even telling me. I felt very betrayed and alone yesterday. Don't do that to me. Tell me things Wu Fan, tell me how you feel before you just do things.” I was running my hand through his soft hair, even though I was supposed to be mad at him. He kissed me, giving me a look of understanding.
“Fine. I tell you more. You listen more.” he shot back. I pouted. I knew he was going to bring that up. But he was right. We were both right. I linked my hands around his neck, a feeling of satisfaction coming over me.
“I was so going to leave you yesterday.” I gloated. He scoffed at me, smiling as well.
“No you weren't. You love me. You just needed time to cool down.” he knew me too well. It was starting to scare me. I pouted at him, because he was right. I would have just needed time to cool down before I going back and talking it out with him.
“What did you and the bitch argue about yesterday?” I asked. He chuckled freely, all the tension between us was completely gone now.
“You mean Tao?” he checked.
“I'm calling her by her true name.” I deadpanned.
“She tried to insult Jongdae, Yixing, Luhan, and you. I told her to shut up. She gets under my skin very easily.” he admitted.
“No shit. And yet you still want to let her stay.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“Don't worry my love. If we get out of all of this alive I'll let you kill her.” he teased. A wide smile broke over my face of excitement.
“Really? Wu Fan I love you!” I kissed him happily. He laughed against my lips, but quickly deepened it, and I hummed in satisfaction.
“Good, can we have sex then?” he asked as he rubbed something very hard against my hip. Already I was getting hot with the thought.
“We just made up last night, I'm tired.” I whined. But I met his kisses and tugged at his soft hair, sighing when he began to rub his thumbs over my nipples.
“They say the honeymoon phase is the best though, let's enjoy it.” he replied. I didn't know when he'd pulled off my underwear but I moaned quietly as our erections rubbed against each other. My hips met his, meeting his pace and I felt my eyes close.
“Honeymoon? You idiot our son could wake up any second.” I gasped. His mouth attacked my chest and I was already submitting to him.
“Then be quiet.” he teased. I bit my lip, enjoying his mouth going down on me. It didn't take long for him to began pounding in to me, rushed and fast. I had to bite on to my wrist to keep quiet, not wanting to wake up our son.
~ ~ ~
“I am an understanding husband. I love my husband. I am an understanding husband.” I chanted quietly to myself. I was standing at the stove, quietly stirring a pot oatmeal for my son. I could feel her glaring at my back. I didn't know where she'd slept, I didn't care. But she was already in the kitchen when Wu Fan and I had gotten up. Regrettably, I had to make breakfast while Wu Fan went back to wake up my little gem. For a few minutes it was just me and Tao.
I heard her get up from the seat she'd been planted in. Her heels made little sharp jolts on the wooden floor. He was standing next to me, her eyes piercing at me.
“At least your cute.” I heard her sigh. When she wasn't yelling or antagonizing people, she had a very soft voice. But I could feel her evil hiss underneath the semi-compliment.
“I mean he could have picked an ugly rat for a lover. But you are pretty good looking I'll give you that.” she mused to herself. I was an understanding husband, and I loved my husband.
“You don't look like a gay.” she continued. I felt it coming. But I was a good husband and I loved my husband. I heard her take another step closer to me.
“A whore yes, but not a gay.” she hissed. I was holding the spoon I'd been stirring with, a scoopful of hot oatmeal inside, I was holding it out to her face.
“Do you really want to test me? I'll kill you. And then you'll ask yourself, while you're in hell of course, why in the world did I run to Wu Fan's home when his husband was going to kill me anyways?” I watched with joy as she eyed my spoonful of oatmeal with worry. One tilt of my hand and it would be all over her face, burning as I went. I was tempted.
“Stop talking to me. Before I decide that I'm not an understanding husband and that I don't love Wu Fan so much.” I warned. Tao took a step back, and I glared at her until she finally retreated all the way back to the table.
Just then Wu Fan came in with Rui in his arms. My baby's hair was a wild mess, his eyes still half way closed. But he was dressed in day clothes and by the way he eyed the oatmeal he was hungry as well.
“Morning Mama.” he croaked out. I smiled and pecked his cheek. Wu Fan leaned for his turn and I bit his cheek a bit. Mostly because he'd left me with that bitch.
“They totally made up.” Jongdae laughed. I rolled my eyes at him. Of course the trio could tell from the way Wu Fan was able to put an arm around me with getting pushed.
“Minseok! I thought we were going to hate him together!” Luhan complained with a smile.
“I was ready to help you pack. I can't believe you made up already.” Yixing added with a smirk. He too had one arm around Jongdae's shoulder, mindlessly playing with some of his lover's hair. The lovely trio could be so helpful sometimes.
“You encouraged my husband to leave me?” Wu Fan gasped.
“I said don't leave him...yet. I didn't know you'd make up so quickly” Yixing smiled.
“Mama, you and Papa made breakfast again?” Rui asked beside me. I could hear the hyenas laughing from across the table. We really needed to stop having these conversations in front of him.
“Yes little gem.” I lied with a smile. Rui made an understanding face, nodding to himself while stuffing his cheeks with more of his oatmeal.
“Mama and Papa always make breakfast early in the morning!” Jongdae snickered.
“They make it nice and hot!” Luhan was laughing so hard he could barely breath.
“I think they cook sausage?” Jongdae added.
“Oh always! Nice hot sausages for breakfast!” Luhan almost fell off his chair. Of course my baby didn't get the joke and nodded like he was trying to be serious and understand. I briefly wondered if he would grow up thinking sex was actually associated with breakfast...
For the remainder of breakfast we were all smiles and laughs. Even though the dark presence sitting next to the back door glared at us.
And there was a point when I'd looked at her too long. And I saw something I hadn't expected. All I'd seen from her was meaneness and anger.
But for a second I swore I saw tears falling down her face as she watched all of us. But then I'd blinked and she was glaring at me with such ferocity it made me hate her even more. I had to look away and smile at my husband who was laughing at something the trio said. He held my hand tightly.
I was and understanding husband, I loved my husband.
We were going to get through this.