Hilarious

Mar 30, 2012 18:03

I have never bought a lottery ticket in my life. I have gotten (but never purchased myself) scratch-off cards, which are a hoot, especially the crossword-style ones. Someone just came around to collect $1 for people to buy into what promises to be a disgusting payout in some lottery game. I pitched in. Why not? Solidarity. Plus, as I told the woman collecting, I've already spent about $6 on sodas I can't drink for class. When I told that my project was swabbing cans of soda from various vendors to check what microbes are growing on them, she made the same face that, well, just about everyone has since I started telling people about this project.

I also learned there's a west coast-east coast difference in drinking soda, whereby east coasters all use straws and west coasters don't. Anyone want to verify that? I know I drink with straws, but that's for a variety of practical and stupid reasons (I can get at every last drop of soda that way; it doesn't stain my teeth as badly; I don't have to put my mouth on the dirty fucking can; I just like straws, etc. etc.) I didn't used to growing up, from what I can remember. Although, there was that time a family friend's daughter scared the crap out of me and told me to never drink dark sodas or to look in the can before drinking first because one time this friend she knew drank a soda and there was a bee in it and she got stung in the mouth and and and...

I was a very gullible kid. Of course, I believed every word of this. To this day, I don't eat hamburgers at any fast food joints because my brother scared me off of them as a kid by saying that they spat on their hands when they made the patties at McDonald's and that old rats were ground into the meat. I always ate chicken after that. (He tried to scare me off that, too, by saying chicken nuggets were rat heads, but at that point my hunger overtook my caution, and I had to eat something.) I realize now that a) McDonald's doesn't make its own patties and b) there are probably worse things in them than rats, but it's something that's stuck.

Wow, that was a whole post about nothing. Have a good weekend everybody!

work, my neuroses--let me show you them, people are so stupid

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