::twitch::
I had a little heart attack reading this update on sci-fi films coming soon to theaters near me because it unfortunately involved mention of a Channing Tatum movie too near a mention of a Mass Effect movie. The heart attack was not helped by the fact that Channing Tatum, pictured in the link wearing his stupid super-suit from that lamentable G.I. Joe, looks remarkably like male Commander Shepard.
Dear Hollywood: I'm not sold on the idea that Mass Effect even needs a movie. It's already more cinematic than most "films" you churn out these days. You'd only ruin it, so leave it alone. But if you have to move on this property, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DON'T CAST CHANNING TATUM IN IT. Go with female Shepard. I double-dog dare you. Not only is she cooler, but she is also a woman! You could hit, like, a nerd trifecta--a serious sci-fi movie, based on a videogame, with an awesome female protagonist! DO IT.
But seriously, don't make a Mass Effect movie.
Also, TEH LOLS from comments on the article:
"I wonder if you got Sam Worthington and Channing Tatum in the same room, could you create a charisma singularity?"
That's the kind of nerdy awesome I needed. Thanks, commenter!
Dear Hollywood: I'm not sold on the idea that Mass Effect even needs a movie. It's already more cinematic than most "films" you churn out these days. You'd only ruin it, so leave it alone. But if you have to move on this property, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DON'T CAST CHANNING TATUM IN IT. Go with female Shepard. I double-dog dare you. Not only is she cooler, but she is also a woman! You could hit, like, a nerd trifecta--a serious sci-fi movie, based on a videogame, with an awesome female protagonist! DO IT.
But seriously, don't make a Mass Effect movie.
Also, TEH LOLS from comments on the article:
"I wonder if you got Sam Worthington and Channing Tatum in the same room, could you create a charisma singularity?"
That's the kind of nerdy awesome I needed. Thanks, commenter!