Oh, come ON, Consumer Reports, you can do better than that
Having bought a netbook to handle most of the things the iPad wants to do for me, I'm a little annoyed at the iPad's second coming. I say "second coming" because the lackluster response to it at first seems to have been eradicated now that people are starting to get their hands on them. For every person who goes, "I like Flash, actually, and would like to be able to use 99% of the internet that seems to require it these days," or grouses about a 64 GB hard drive computer costing them $900, or who might not want to sell their entire multimedia-consuming soul to Apple, you get articles like this one saying THE iPAD IS THE JESUS CHRIST OF MEDIA. WELCOME BACK, SAVIOR. I get why a magazine would be excited--they really do have to hope the hype is true because they are otherwise fucked as a medium.
I generally expect the hype to fall short at Consumer Reports, though. So I'm reading this and not only am I pissed about the credulous, easily-swayed author basically writing hundreds of words to express an emotion easily summarized in one (that word is "shiny"), but this guy isn't even getting anything...right. It's supposed to be a cogent argument about how the iPad isn't $499, it's easily twice that or more to get out of it the RESURRECTION OF MEDIA MACHINE that Steve Jobs promised you.
Instead, it's a love-letter to how, oh, that wily Steve, he done suckered me again! (But pronounced "ah-geen," like a real yokel would.) It's also flat-out filled with incorrect terminology (last I checked, one did not refer to the hard drive capacity as "memory") and is deceptive about what should be a real concern for people running to this New Mecca (the Apple Store) in droves. It is possible that the iPad can cost you, upfront, before you pay a dime for the undoubtedly expensive AT&T plan, a shit-ton of money for a device that is pretty...hollow.
What will sap your money faster than you can blink are not accessories but apps. And don't be fooled. You will need to download a ton of them to get the promised-land promise of the device. Yes, you'll still plunk down at least half the cost of the basic (and it is basic) machine at purchase time to upgrade the "memory" (I shudder even typing that as a joke), and opting for the 3G, etc. That's nothing to be sneezed at. It's a fuckload of money for less bang than you'd get from an impotent man shooting cap guns. Before the accessories, it runs the author $829, about half what you'd pay for another ultra-light-on-everything-including-the-specs Apple product, so perhaps this still seems like a "deal." In fact, it's just part of tried-and-tested marketing strategies designed to overcome your financial and logical common sense. Just as they market the iPad at $499 so you think, "Well, that's not too much more expensive than a netbook," and then you look the other way while piling on another $300 before the thing is in your hands or on Apple's network, the have the MacAir to go "See? A real computer this light would be too expensive! Buy the iPad! What a deal!"
::rolls eyes::
The apps are a big problem financially speaking, but Apple owning your ass is just not acceptable. Some people, as noted in the Newsweek article, will like Apple streamlining everything for them. I use iTunes myself--it is great for pod-collecting--but iTunes keeps its fucking hands off my everything else. No, you can't play my movies. Stop trying to get me to buy TV series at $2 an episode when I can DVR or Hulu it. If I want to read comics on a computer screen (not my reading method of choice, I assure you), I can do it with any number of programs or, the way I've been doing it 'cause I'm lazy, which is by setting a slide show in fucking Windows Preview. (WORKS JUST FINE.) Thing is, iTunes, you are NOT the best thing for my media browsing. You, in fact, do not please me in my media browsing. You do stupid things like interrupt movies for songs when I just want to check things. Perhaps I can learn to turn that off, BUT I DON'T WANT TO. You don't even support my non-iTunes movies. Why do you want them so badly? Fuck off, I'm using VLC...GAWD, iTUNES, I AM A GROWN WOMAN, I CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS...
And that, in a nutshell, is why being against the iPad makes you look like a crazy person. Because it's crazy not to want something to decide everything for you. (I love you, Google. Let's get married.) I'll take my 250 GB, 3-lb netbook over that damn iPad. Is it weird and a little awkward to carry down the street, reading comics? Yeah, but it's weird (apparently) to read walking down the street regardless, and I have hefted heavier books. You know what my netbook will do, though, that the iPad won't unless you buy a gadget for it? It will let me put it down on table and the screen will stay perpendicular to said table. Isn't that amazing?
ETA: Forgot to mention: Apple is using its bullying power to get rid of Flash-only stuff, btw. So soon that will be taken care of and then you can't object to their shit any more. WE ARE MAKING THE INTERNET IN OUR IMAGE. IT SHALL NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE...
I generally expect the hype to fall short at Consumer Reports, though. So I'm reading this and not only am I pissed about the credulous, easily-swayed author basically writing hundreds of words to express an emotion easily summarized in one (that word is "shiny"), but this guy isn't even getting anything...right. It's supposed to be a cogent argument about how the iPad isn't $499, it's easily twice that or more to get out of it the RESURRECTION OF MEDIA MACHINE that Steve Jobs promised you.
Instead, it's a love-letter to how, oh, that wily Steve, he done suckered me again! (But pronounced "ah-geen," like a real yokel would.) It's also flat-out filled with incorrect terminology (last I checked, one did not refer to the hard drive capacity as "memory") and is deceptive about what should be a real concern for people running to this New Mecca (the Apple Store) in droves. It is possible that the iPad can cost you, upfront, before you pay a dime for the undoubtedly expensive AT&T plan, a shit-ton of money for a device that is pretty...hollow.
What will sap your money faster than you can blink are not accessories but apps. And don't be fooled. You will need to download a ton of them to get the promised-land promise of the device. Yes, you'll still plunk down at least half the cost of the basic (and it is basic) machine at purchase time to upgrade the "memory" (I shudder even typing that as a joke), and opting for the 3G, etc. That's nothing to be sneezed at. It's a fuckload of money for less bang than you'd get from an impotent man shooting cap guns. Before the accessories, it runs the author $829, about half what you'd pay for another ultra-light-on-everything-including-the-specs Apple product, so perhaps this still seems like a "deal." In fact, it's just part of tried-and-tested marketing strategies designed to overcome your financial and logical common sense. Just as they market the iPad at $499 so you think, "Well, that's not too much more expensive than a netbook," and then you look the other way while piling on another $300 before the thing is in your hands or on Apple's network, the have the MacAir to go "See? A real computer this light would be too expensive! Buy the iPad! What a deal!"
::rolls eyes::
The apps are a big problem financially speaking, but Apple owning your ass is just not acceptable. Some people, as noted in the Newsweek article, will like Apple streamlining everything for them. I use iTunes myself--it is great for pod-collecting--but iTunes keeps its fucking hands off my everything else. No, you can't play my movies. Stop trying to get me to buy TV series at $2 an episode when I can DVR or Hulu it. If I want to read comics on a computer screen (not my reading method of choice, I assure you), I can do it with any number of programs or, the way I've been doing it 'cause I'm lazy, which is by setting a slide show in fucking Windows Preview. (WORKS JUST FINE.) Thing is, iTunes, you are NOT the best thing for my media browsing. You, in fact, do not please me in my media browsing. You do stupid things like interrupt movies for songs when I just want to check things. Perhaps I can learn to turn that off, BUT I DON'T WANT TO. You don't even support my non-iTunes movies. Why do you want them so badly? Fuck off, I'm using VLC...GAWD, iTUNES, I AM A GROWN WOMAN, I CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS...
And that, in a nutshell, is why being against the iPad makes you look like a crazy person. Because it's crazy not to want something to decide everything for you. (I love you, Google. Let's get married.) I'll take my 250 GB, 3-lb netbook over that damn iPad. Is it weird and a little awkward to carry down the street, reading comics? Yeah, but it's weird (apparently) to read walking down the street regardless, and I have hefted heavier books. You know what my netbook will do, though, that the iPad won't unless you buy a gadget for it? It will let me put it down on table and the screen will stay perpendicular to said table. Isn't that amazing?
ETA: Forgot to mention: Apple is using its bullying power to get rid of Flash-only stuff, btw. So soon that will be taken care of and then you can't object to their shit any more. WE ARE MAKING THE INTERNET IN OUR IMAGE. IT SHALL NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE...