No Nutritional Value: My Best Friend is a Vampire
I was relating to people only this past weekend how I had, at that point, watched as many movies as there were days in the year, and how my ambition is to, one day, become such a couch potato that I do watch 365 movies in the space of a year. Consequently, it was pointed out to me that it would be much easier to do that by watching mostly terrible movies as many of the sort I'd be likely to watch (horror movies, bad sci-fi) would be short. Between my parents' TiVo and Netflix's questionable selection of streaming video, I'm all set. So here I go!
My Best Friend is a Vampire is your typical 1980s monster movie--the monsters aren't scary, just misunderstood minorities! It's explicitly campy in its references to vampirism=puberty, STDs, homosexuality, etc. The protagonist gets himself into trouble after a one-night-stand with a woman he doesn't know. Use protection, you kids! But if you really love your friends, you won't hate them for being different.
Robert Sean Leonard looks to be all of twelve. (Cusack syndrome!) It stars the worst actress in the world as the love interest/Molly Ringwald rip-off. (feiran took one look at her and went, "That's a girl?"; then after exactly one line of dialogue, "That's the worst actress in the world, right?") This guy is having way too much fun being an absolutely queer vampire mentor. The theme song is "The Future is So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades." My "Starz presents" Netflix streaming video had breaks that seemed suspiciously like commercial breaks and curious silences where curse words ought to have been. Truly, this was the ABC Family version of Teen Wolf. Only vampires! Totally different!
Worth it for exactly two lines of dialogue:
Vampire Teen's Dad: Our son is gay. How do you feel about that?
Vampire Teen's Mom: I really wanted grandchildren.
My Best Friend is a Vampire is your typical 1980s monster movie--the monsters aren't scary, just misunderstood minorities! It's explicitly campy in its references to vampirism=puberty, STDs, homosexuality, etc. The protagonist gets himself into trouble after a one-night-stand with a woman he doesn't know. Use protection, you kids! But if you really love your friends, you won't hate them for being different.
Robert Sean Leonard looks to be all of twelve. (Cusack syndrome!) It stars the worst actress in the world as the love interest/Molly Ringwald rip-off. (feiran took one look at her and went, "That's a girl?"; then after exactly one line of dialogue, "That's the worst actress in the world, right?") This guy is having way too much fun being an absolutely queer vampire mentor. The theme song is "The Future is So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades." My "Starz presents" Netflix streaming video had breaks that seemed suspiciously like commercial breaks and curious silences where curse words ought to have been. Truly, this was the ABC Family version of Teen Wolf. Only vampires! Totally different!
Worth it for exactly two lines of dialogue:
Vampire Teen's Dad: Our son is gay. How do you feel about that?
Vampire Teen's Mom: I really wanted grandchildren.