Fic for coreopsis: The Last of the Winnebagoes

[trinityofone]

Comment fic the sixth! I am speedy like molasses!

Title: The Last of the Winnebagoes
Rating: PG
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Length: ~2575 words
Summary: For coreopsis. They’re turning into the Statler and Waldorf of Atlantis, bitching at everybody from a balcony, their own hands tied.

Comments

[birdsflying]

They stand suspended, the jumper and everything in it, as the world continues its slow revolve. I love this line so much.

Oh, that hurt. But in a good way. Oh, John. Oh, Rodney. Neither of you are meant to come back, are you?

[cereta]

Neither of you are meant to come back, are you?

That's the strange kind of underlying pathos that the show doesn't really address but is there if you think about it: a happy ending for either of them is really unlikely, and not just because they're in constant danger, but because surviving long enough would mean they'd have to leave the one place that either of them seems really to belong.

Lovely story!

[souliesoul]

That's lovely :)

[wychwood]

...you weren't kidding about the depressing, were you?? Clearly no one should ever ask you for fluff *g*.

I love it anyway.

I love the image of John and Rodney as Waldorf and Statler. Because it's just hilarious and now I want Muppets / SGA fusion, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT. I think Zelenka may be Kermit.

And the unspokenness of it all. The fact that there's no dialogue at all until over halfway through. The way John won't *say* anything, and Rodney has learnt not to push him. Your John is *really* frustrating here, you know!

I like the ending, the difficulty of making that adjustment back, and the realisation that it really is over, for better and worse.

I love the cheesy Atlantis keyring :) And Rodney hurting his back jumping being too dignified *g*.

[trinityofone]

Clearly no one should ever ask you for fluff *g*.

I'm not trying to be perverse, honestly! Just...I was thinking, "Hmm, puddlejumper, puddlejumper..." and this was what came out, this lone jumper on Earth, and Rodney and John in it.

Your John is *really* frustrating here, you know!

He frustrates me, too. Originally, I thought it really was going to be the scenario Rodney imagines playing out: the one where he presents John with the jumper, and John smiles, and everything is okay again. But...John just refused to allow me to write it that way. He's very pushy; much pushier than Rodney, really. And just...hard. To quote siriaeve: Therapy, John!

I still feel bad that the story's so bleak, 'cause it has three sort of bittersweet elements in it that I really like, two of which you mentioned: the keyring (you know there's going to be merchandise) and Statler and Waldorf (Siria says no, they're Beeker and Bunsen =P) and the jumper at the Smithsonian. I really like the jumper at the Smithsonian. I may have to write a whole story, just

[wychwood]

I don't think it's *too* bleak, though. I mean, the ending leaves me with a feeling of possibility; they can work past this.

Beeker and Bunsen! Oh yes! :) *imagines John meeping plaintively over Rodney's shoulder*
That's just too perfect, I can't stop laughing.

Jumper at the Smithsonian = awesome. Story = extra awesome. It's also awesome because that leaves me thinking what it would be like for Atlantis people to see it there, something with so much resonance and history for them, and seeing all the tourists gaping at it and just not getting it. Makes me wonder how our astronauts feel about people going and looking at the shuttles and the older rockets. Actually - can you imagine John meeting a real astronaut? At the Smithsonian, even. Because they would have that kind of experience in common, wouldn't they? And you know they were his heroes when he was a kid.

*ponders*

Something I don't say enough: thank you so much for your kind and incisive feedback.Aww, shucks *blushes

[20thcenturyvole]

You see this icon? This is the face I'm making now. *sticks tongue out at you* That was owie in so many different ways.

[emhen]

Aw, with the sad...! Now I feel that maybe the Atlantis crew should die, because if this is what happens when they come back... It was pretty, though. The fic, not the emotional dislocation. XD