Health what is that? Stress this I know!
I went back to the hospital today and found out I have phemonia (sp). They said stress on my lungs were effecting my asthma and my astma and coughing was putting stress on my heart. Everytime I cough I have an ashtma attack and then my heart goes spastic and it feels like someone is pushing down on my chest or have set a concret brick on my chest pushing all the air out of my lungs.
So, now I am on antibotics..script strength sinus meds..nausa meds (to counteract the antibotic side effect)..nose spray..and a jumbo inhaler that I have to use every 3-4 hours or as needed.
This is on top of my normal meds which includes celebrex, testred, 1,000mg tylonal, synthoid, claritan, and flo vent.
This health scare, plus the fact that I had a manic attack this past weekend which I haven't had in months, has made me stop and take a really hard look at my life. Where do I go from here? I want to be around for my daughter for several years to come to see my grandkids, to spend time with my wife living in the same home. I don't want my mom to have to face out living another of her children. She already has outlived three of her children another one would not be something she could live with.
I have a job I love but it doesn't pay much, sometimes nothing at all. But I have SSI even though that isn't enough to pay much bills (that is why, partly, I live with my mother, we help each other out). That is another of my reasons for being scared with this health issue because my mom may tell herself and everyone she is self sufficiant and indpendent but she needs me too. She is blind and has many health problems, including, ephsema. Who will take care of her if something happens to me.
So, now I have some serious thinking to do.
1. Do I drop out of school for a couple of semesters to get my health back to par
2. Do I quit the job I love but doesn't pay (because it is obvious I can't do both and take care of my family too)
3. Do I continue what I am doing and pray I can keep up the schedule and stress.
Plus, on top of all this our roommate (my ex) who lives in the extra room downstairs has just told me he plans to move in about two months which means there is $500 extra bills that need to be paid.
I have an appointment tomorrow with Finicial aid office to see what can be done. I want to see if I can drop down to part time and maybe switch majors even if I have to take an extra semester or something. I know I will lose my grants but I don't know about my loans.
Plus, that is something else if I do drop out I will have to start paying my loans back on top of not having the refunds to put towards bills.
So what do I do??? who knows! Off to do some more thinking....