nothing. or something like that.
so idk whats been going on lately. nothing is happening and im feeling slightly worse than terrible. im sick sorta im not trusting anyone and im very paranoid about htings. and i dont know why. its more than killing me.
i had one person over who i never talk to and just is a pal of the family but it was okay because we saw like all the people i know and miss from holmen which basically made my lifetime. but im still feeling so angry. and so upset. and i dont even know what to say or how to explain it because i dotn know how i feel really.
and so many weird and bad things lately. when at my dads he started crying. i had to hug him as he cried. that scared me so bad. my 41 year old dad. fuckign crying. thats a first and it just scared me shitless. i dont know whats goin on and what to think. and we're still trying ot find a legal way to get custody of cole and the family is falling apart but at the same time its the best family i have. because when that friend was over my mom was screaming at me until i stood there crying in the kitchen in front of the cousins and friend. about things i 'didnt' do which i really did. they can all say that they saw me clean that. even rob came up and screamed at her for harassing me because she took it way too far. and shane just sat on the computer and my little cousin jst left the room. no one would stand up for me as she was giving me a good verbal and mental beating. felt great. note the sarcasm.and i felt so bad.
and i keep getting grounded but the only reason i got outta it was bc my mom likes that friend more than i do. and she told me to invite her over. and i dunno even when i was happy i was miserable. but what's new.
and i can tell. something is up with someone. and i been cryin much. and freaking out much. and i dont know who and why but im scared.
i had one person over who i never talk to and just is a pal of the family but it was okay because we saw like all the people i know and miss from holmen which basically made my lifetime. but im still feeling so angry. and so upset. and i dont even know what to say or how to explain it because i dotn know how i feel really.
and so many weird and bad things lately. when at my dads he started crying. i had to hug him as he cried. that scared me so bad. my 41 year old dad. fuckign crying. thats a first and it just scared me shitless. i dont know whats goin on and what to think. and we're still trying ot find a legal way to get custody of cole and the family is falling apart but at the same time its the best family i have. because when that friend was over my mom was screaming at me until i stood there crying in the kitchen in front of the cousins and friend. about things i 'didnt' do which i really did. they can all say that they saw me clean that. even rob came up and screamed at her for harassing me because she took it way too far. and shane just sat on the computer and my little cousin jst left the room. no one would stand up for me as she was giving me a good verbal and mental beating. felt great. note the sarcasm.and i felt so bad.
and i keep getting grounded but the only reason i got outta it was bc my mom likes that friend more than i do. and she told me to invite her over. and i dunno even when i was happy i was miserable. but what's new.
and i can tell. something is up with someone. and i been cryin much. and freaking out much. and i dont know who and why but im scared.