Baked... and shaken
37 weeks pregnant...
As of today I am full term. That means that if I were to have the baby today it would be considered in the realm of normal timing and the baby wouldn't be called premature. This seems like a huge milestone. But on the other hand it is such a tease - birth could be up to 4 weeks away still. I feel like a ticking time bomb.
I am slowly getting more and more freaked out about the whole maternity leave thing. I haven't finished everything I'd hoped I would. I only have 2 1/2 more weeks of work and I don't think it will get done. Not to mention that I still have to plan out things for Derrick and for my replacement to do while I'm gone... get everything set up so that they can access the systems and databases... bring Derrick up to speed on all my miscellaneous responsibilities... oh so much needs to be done. And of course because of the stress I am doing the classic trick of feeling so overwhelmed that I am paralyzed and end up doing NOTHING.
It's weird because for so long my work life has had a good balance. My job is not stressful but it is demanding enough to keep me interested and challenging enough so that I'm not bored. I have extreme confidence in my abilities at work and I know I'm a valued member of the staff. I have an excellent work reputation. And I'm afraid that it's all going down the tubes. I'm leaving for a year. That is a long time. And I'm leaving with things undone. I hate that. Not to mention the fact that I'm about to embark on something so drastically different... the whole motherhood thing is such an unknown entity - a huge question mark. I have no idea how I'm going to handle the stress of it, or if I'm going to be any good at it. And that scares the heck out of me. Add that to the fact that I am still going to be connected to work... I don't know how I am going to handle both at once.
In a nutshell... eek.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
As of today I am full term. That means that if I were to have the baby today it would be considered in the realm of normal timing and the baby wouldn't be called premature. This seems like a huge milestone. But on the other hand it is such a tease - birth could be up to 4 weeks away still. I feel like a ticking time bomb.
I am slowly getting more and more freaked out about the whole maternity leave thing. I haven't finished everything I'd hoped I would. I only have 2 1/2 more weeks of work and I don't think it will get done. Not to mention that I still have to plan out things for Derrick and for my replacement to do while I'm gone... get everything set up so that they can access the systems and databases... bring Derrick up to speed on all my miscellaneous responsibilities... oh so much needs to be done. And of course because of the stress I am doing the classic trick of feeling so overwhelmed that I am paralyzed and end up doing NOTHING.
It's weird because for so long my work life has had a good balance. My job is not stressful but it is demanding enough to keep me interested and challenging enough so that I'm not bored. I have extreme confidence in my abilities at work and I know I'm a valued member of the staff. I have an excellent work reputation. And I'm afraid that it's all going down the tubes. I'm leaving for a year. That is a long time. And I'm leaving with things undone. I hate that. Not to mention the fact that I'm about to embark on something so drastically different... the whole motherhood thing is such an unknown entity - a huge question mark. I have no idea how I'm going to handle the stress of it, or if I'm going to be any good at it. And that scares the heck out of me. Add that to the fact that I am still going to be connected to work... I don't know how I am going to handle both at once.
In a nutshell... eek.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.