Trepidation
So I have not been on here in a while and I just took like the past two hours reading the back posts of you guys' on my page and it made me love you all more (if that is even possible).
So updates on my life (if you can call it that).
1) I have health insurance..yeah!!!! I mean I actually went to a doctor to get my drugs- you know the type that went to school in a building and got a degree...as opposed to the type that went to school in the streets and steals meds from said degree holding doctor.
2) I have ceased having multiple-wave depression attacks and they just come in the regular garden variety form...which is my sick and twisted version of happiness-gotta love that tolerance that the body builds up. Its like hello depression, whats up, chillen, lol.
3) I went to the National Dominican Student conference and wowed everyone with my intellect and charmed the pants off of them with my humour and amazed them with my dancing. Then when we went back to the place where I slept I began to tearlessly cry because Claro I would be such a great person to the outside world when all along I am falling apart.
4) My cynicism is threatening to take over any interactions I have with people outside of the wtb familia. Perhaps its a side effect of the 'roids but I just automatically assume that everyone wants something from me beyond just genuine interest in me as a person. This is causing problems with me and my Padrino...the funny thing is I am so astute that I sense problems and arguments before they happen and cleverly remove myself from people for weeks at a time. It's simple really: with any woman its like either I think she is trying to use me for my connections to better looking people (my brothers) or she thinks that I am interested in sleeping with her so she wants to use that as a platform to try and get me to be that guy who buys her shit and strokes her ego. With men...well I hate all men anyway (no I dont have issues with my father at all, lol) but if they are college aged I am like are you just trying to pretend to establish a friendship with me because you want in my Fraternity, and if they are older I am like are you just looking for that friend that does your bitch work.
5) I have 3 beyonce songs in spanish and I want to shoot myself because of it...the problem is that a)overall her pronunciation is good but there are just two or three glaring errors that piss me off and b) I have beyonce songs on my computer..or is it Sasha, I get confused. Which one is the one who sings in spanish- or is that a third one in there- she better not be tryin to bite off my octo-polar personality disorder (i have a problem with the word disorder though, lol)
6) Its pisses me off that Marc anthony's wife has two hot ass song with him but ruins them by singing, and I hate her spanish.
and lastly. There was this kid at the conference who was me and I hated him so effing much, lol so looks like no progress has been made on the self love front.
So updates on my life (if you can call it that).
1) I have health insurance..yeah!!!! I mean I actually went to a doctor to get my drugs- you know the type that went to school in a building and got a degree...as opposed to the type that went to school in the streets and steals meds from said degree holding doctor.
2) I have ceased having multiple-wave depression attacks and they just come in the regular garden variety form...which is my sick and twisted version of happiness-gotta love that tolerance that the body builds up. Its like hello depression, whats up, chillen, lol.
3) I went to the National Dominican Student conference and wowed everyone with my intellect and charmed the pants off of them with my humour and amazed them with my dancing. Then when we went back to the place where I slept I began to tearlessly cry because Claro I would be such a great person to the outside world when all along I am falling apart.
4) My cynicism is threatening to take over any interactions I have with people outside of the wtb familia. Perhaps its a side effect of the 'roids but I just automatically assume that everyone wants something from me beyond just genuine interest in me as a person. This is causing problems with me and my Padrino...the funny thing is I am so astute that I sense problems and arguments before they happen and cleverly remove myself from people for weeks at a time. It's simple really: with any woman its like either I think she is trying to use me for my connections to better looking people (my brothers) or she thinks that I am interested in sleeping with her so she wants to use that as a platform to try and get me to be that guy who buys her shit and strokes her ego. With men...well I hate all men anyway (no I dont have issues with my father at all, lol) but if they are college aged I am like are you just trying to pretend to establish a friendship with me because you want in my Fraternity, and if they are older I am like are you just looking for that friend that does your bitch work.
5) I have 3 beyonce songs in spanish and I want to shoot myself because of it...the problem is that a)overall her pronunciation is good but there are just two or three glaring errors that piss me off and b) I have beyonce songs on my computer..or is it Sasha, I get confused. Which one is the one who sings in spanish- or is that a third one in there- she better not be tryin to bite off my octo-polar personality disorder (i have a problem with the word disorder though, lol)
6) Its pisses me off that Marc anthony's wife has two hot ass song with him but ruins them by singing, and I hate her spanish.
and lastly. There was this kid at the conference who was me and I hated him so effing much, lol so looks like no progress has been made on the self love front.