Immerse, Adapt, Adjust
Last Wednesday, kids and I went to a mall to buy our first music CD in German, titled 'Die Singemaus im Kindergarten' (Singing Mice in Kindergarten), the trigger was Joseph's complaint about, "Maitresse nyanyi lagu bahasa Jerman di sekolah, tapi aku tidak tau lagu apa itu" (maitresse sings German songs at school, but I don't know those songs).
Not sure if the songs are classic, but these ones have the most acceptable music arrangements for my ears compare to some others in store. Kids mood were better with new music at home, and I got the sense of getting one step further to immerse ourselves with the locals. Back in Chicago, we played American children's songs at home to ease his adjustment at the day care, as they sang and danced following the CD. Now we are doing the same with German songs as music is obviously one of the best ways for our family to immerse.
Talking about immersion and adjustment, as I wrote in one of my posts before leaving for Munich, being adult TCK help hubby and I to relate to our kids' adaptations, as we went through the same things when young. Still, there are many behaviors from our kids that we overlooked. We thought those were just normal acting out from babies and preschoolers, while actually kids were showing their efforts to adapt.
Like when we were looking for the CD, before entering the store, I told him he may not nag or whine, otherwise he would get a time-out. Yet, he was trying my patience by kept pushing DVDs and CD in front of my nose, although he knew he wouldn't get what he wanted that way. I got pretty mad, we went home in bad moods *Louise was quiet, thank goodness* and he got his time out. Later I realized it was not entirely his fault. When in Chicago, we hardly ever went to a book store, as online shopping deals were more interesting. We would bring them to the library once or twice per week, where they may choose some things on their own. So our excursion to the store in Munich was basically his first experience ever being in a music/book store. The store looked similar to a library with its rows of CDs, books and DVDs, which explains why he thought he may choose one or two items out of habit. Things would be much easier if I mentioned that a music store is like a supermarket and toy store where we need to pay with money. He would have understood because he knew he should asked me before going to a supermarket or store if he wanted to buy something. Anyway, no harm done, next time better.
Another example, a day after I posted an entry about our language compromise, Joseph woke up crying, saying he didn't want to go to school. Answers only came out after I nailed him with some yes or no questions. Please note I began in Indonesian but then switched to English as he always answered my questions in English. Those reading the post on our change of strategy would know that this is part of our way to accommodate his adjustments with this new environment.
M: Kenapa kamu tidak mau sekolah? (Why don't you want to go to school?)
J: *sob sob no answer*
M: Karena ibu guru nakal? (Because teachers are naughty?)
J: No
M: Teman2 nakal? (Friends are naughty?)
J: No
M: Mainan jelek2? (Toys are ugly?)
J: No
M: Kalau begitu kenapa kamu tidak mau sekolah? Tidak ada yg salah di sekolah (Then why don't you want to go to school? Everything is ok over there)
J: Because ... because I'm angry! *tears running down his cheeks, poor thing*
M: Why are you angry?
J: Because I like speaking English at school!
M: Do you miss your teacher in America?
J: Yes
M: Do you miss your friends too?
J: Yes, I miss Andrew and Emily *his best buddies at school in Chicago*
M: We are now living in Germany, Joseph and you go to French-German school where everybody speaks French and German.
J: Maitresse speaks English with me but she says you have to speak French, Joseph.
M: Maitresse is right. You can speak French very well.
J: But I want to speak English at school.
M: You knew you can speak English with me. We can also play and sing in English
J: *stop sobbing* May I stay home and play with you?
M: Yes you may, but only for today *it was a Friday*. You promise you will go back to school on Monday.
He was happy the rest of the day. We went to the park, played some games together and indeed he was almost always speaking English, as if it was a remedy for his homesickness to his beloved school in Chicago. Seeing him so happy, I suddenly remember some days before, he went to the bathroom 2-3 times each night and said he was afraid of something. I guess it was because he was feeling tense about his school. As promised, he went back to school on Monday, in a much better mood. So far he's been cheerful at school and I only hope it lasts. The good part is, Joseph was able to verbalize what's in his mind. Knowing that I understood and acknowledged his feelings boosted up his confidence and gave him new motivation when returning to his new school. Until now, whenever he needs to speak English he we would ask ,"Mama, speak English with me, please".
About Louise, I realized only recently that she's been asking for hugs, kisses and cuddles more than when we were still in Chicago. Apparently it's her way to get more peace of mind while adapting to this new country.
Despite all this trying-to-fit-in process, each of us enjoys living in Munich.
Not sure if the songs are classic, but these ones have the most acceptable music arrangements for my ears compare to some others in store. Kids mood were better with new music at home, and I got the sense of getting one step further to immerse ourselves with the locals. Back in Chicago, we played American children's songs at home to ease his adjustment at the day care, as they sang and danced following the CD. Now we are doing the same with German songs as music is obviously one of the best ways for our family to immerse.
Talking about immersion and adjustment, as I wrote in one of my posts before leaving for Munich, being adult TCK help hubby and I to relate to our kids' adaptations, as we went through the same things when young. Still, there are many behaviors from our kids that we overlooked. We thought those were just normal acting out from babies and preschoolers, while actually kids were showing their efforts to adapt.
Like when we were looking for the CD, before entering the store, I told him he may not nag or whine, otherwise he would get a time-out. Yet, he was trying my patience by kept pushing DVDs and CD in front of my nose, although he knew he wouldn't get what he wanted that way. I got pretty mad, we went home in bad moods *Louise was quiet, thank goodness* and he got his time out. Later I realized it was not entirely his fault. When in Chicago, we hardly ever went to a book store, as online shopping deals were more interesting. We would bring them to the library once or twice per week, where they may choose some things on their own. So our excursion to the store in Munich was basically his first experience ever being in a music/book store. The store looked similar to a library with its rows of CDs, books and DVDs, which explains why he thought he may choose one or two items out of habit. Things would be much easier if I mentioned that a music store is like a supermarket and toy store where we need to pay with money. He would have understood because he knew he should asked me before going to a supermarket or store if he wanted to buy something. Anyway, no harm done, next time better.
Another example, a day after I posted an entry about our language compromise, Joseph woke up crying, saying he didn't want to go to school. Answers only came out after I nailed him with some yes or no questions. Please note I began in Indonesian but then switched to English as he always answered my questions in English. Those reading the post on our change of strategy would know that this is part of our way to accommodate his adjustments with this new environment.
M: Kenapa kamu tidak mau sekolah? (Why don't you want to go to school?)
J: *sob sob no answer*
M: Karena ibu guru nakal? (Because teachers are naughty?)
J: No
M: Teman2 nakal? (Friends are naughty?)
J: No
M: Mainan jelek2? (Toys are ugly?)
J: No
M: Kalau begitu kenapa kamu tidak mau sekolah? Tidak ada yg salah di sekolah (Then why don't you want to go to school? Everything is ok over there)
J: Because ... because I'm angry! *tears running down his cheeks, poor thing*
M: Why are you angry?
J: Because I like speaking English at school!
M: Do you miss your teacher in America?
J: Yes
M: Do you miss your friends too?
J: Yes, I miss Andrew and Emily *his best buddies at school in Chicago*
M: We are now living in Germany, Joseph and you go to French-German school where everybody speaks French and German.
J: Maitresse speaks English with me but she says you have to speak French, Joseph.
M: Maitresse is right. You can speak French very well.
J: But I want to speak English at school.
M: You knew you can speak English with me. We can also play and sing in English
J: *stop sobbing* May I stay home and play with you?
M: Yes you may, but only for today *it was a Friday*. You promise you will go back to school on Monday.
He was happy the rest of the day. We went to the park, played some games together and indeed he was almost always speaking English, as if it was a remedy for his homesickness to his beloved school in Chicago. Seeing him so happy, I suddenly remember some days before, he went to the bathroom 2-3 times each night and said he was afraid of something. I guess it was because he was feeling tense about his school. As promised, he went back to school on Monday, in a much better mood. So far he's been cheerful at school and I only hope it lasts. The good part is, Joseph was able to verbalize what's in his mind. Knowing that I understood and acknowledged his feelings boosted up his confidence and gave him new motivation when returning to his new school. Until now, whenever he needs to speak English he we would ask ,"Mama, speak English with me, please".
About Louise, I realized only recently that she's been asking for hugs, kisses and cuddles more than when we were still in Chicago. Apparently it's her way to get more peace of mind while adapting to this new country.
Despite all this trying-to-fit-in process, each of us enjoys living in Munich.