Trikotomy builds stink boxes
Put this together yesterday. I made it out of a wood shipping crate from China (and it shows, I'm sure). Many months ago, my old job threw it out and I decided to loot it and fill it with snakes. This was out of the need for a size upgrade, something with customizable safety, and something slightly more discrete than a glass box, due to apartment managers who would illegally break into my place without warning on a monthly basis to show buyers (which was a whole thing I'll get into some other time). However, I planned to ship it to the opposite side of the continent, so after pre-cutting all the pieces, staining/sealing them, and tabulating the theoretically needed hardware and painting it, I boxed it all up never to actually be assembled. But I guess I'll be here awhile.
The two front panels detach to reveal glass (shown with brave test snake). And I cut panels to make a divider down the center for sectional cleaning safety and a shelf to store equipment through the top access, but I haven't put them in. Here's detail of the cool handles... I have a cool lock to go with them but it's one of the things not in my possession at present. (Incidentally, there's something terribly appropriate about Ganesh, the Lord of Obstacles, as a lock.) There are some issues with it- one being that after sitting in a box unseen for several months I forgot what went where and had to redrill some stupid mistakes, which will later have to be filled in and their splintery edges re-sealed. There are like 4 different metal colors going on here, and I'd like to paint the screws black should I ever encounter a craft store in the middle of the forest.
And then... there's the stain. See, I never stained wood before and knew nothing about the subject - apparently changing the color from Chinese shipping crate blonde and getting it all smooth and water resistant are two totally different and expensive things. There aren't very many options in the two hippytown hardware stores, and the only nice colors come with a warning of incompatibility with anything I care about doing. But wait, here's Minwax "Polyshades - stain and polyurethane in 1 STEP!" in an okay, dark, non-wretched color. Suspiciously convenient! Is it water based? Because that's what my inadequate research suggests I should look for in a non-toxic animal enclosure. "Uh sure, it should be," says hardware McGee.
Yeah no, it isn't. It is oil-based, and it has a super-strong boiling plastic smell. But that's cool, because it just has to cure and then it will taper off-- right?
There's a mighty aura of it engulfing the yard a day later. And the next day, stronger than when it was wet with the sun on it now. I used one thin coat. Okay internet, what is up with the smell? "Minwax Polyshades off-gasses fumes after curing." Uh huh, and how long will it be doing that? "Years." FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-
SO, I went back to the store for some ACTUAL water-based Zar acrylic sealant and slapped that over it; it's absurdly shiny now but the smell went down dramatically. But it's still seeping out. Forever. You definitely notice it in a room with still air, even months later today. Fortunately I only did the outside with it. Some other reptilian internet people have used the same product and while they mainly report that it's the WORST at its job and will stink until the sun engulfs our planet, no one I can find has reported a sick animal and some even go so far as to call it "safe." So. I guess I'll use it anyway. After all I couldn't just waste all that effort and resources... right?
So now you know what not to do, thanks to the endless cautionary tale that is Trikotomy.