(no subject)
People must die. ^_^ People must die. -Sings.- .... >__>;; Oh uh.. -Blush.- x-X I didn't notice.. yeah.. -Sips her Vanilla Coke.- Sorry yeah. Lisa just zones out at times, and really doesn't notice of anyone is there. This is going to be a rant, yeah. .>; Grades are dropping like mad y0. Now, onto the more... pushing subject on my mind.
People are pushing me to RP again. I see no need to RP anymore, when I first began, it was just a way to get away from my life. It was another reality that I could turn to when I needed to get away. It worked wonders indeed, but then I started to get to emotionally involved, I'd mix fantasy with reality, and cry over character's loses, or even breakups. It was a part of me, and when a tragady happened in RP, it took it's toll on me. So, I started to turn to other things, like OOC'ing, that...got old and annoying, so I just RP'ed.. every now and then, a trip to the chibi center, one lining, which by the way, made me feel degraded, because I was so used to multiple paragraphs that it was hard to think of putting all that detail into one or two sentences, but I got over it. Then it got to the point where I only RP'ed with certain people. Not it's I only RP with one person, and that one person has to force me into it, or trick me into it. I see RP as another world in itself, which it is, duh Lisa. But, what I'm getting at is... why should one RP, when it's a reality that you can never truly have, because it's not real you can never have that happiness.. in reality. If one can't truly grasp the happiness that they feel when they RP, why do it? Or the sadness they feel, sorrow, loss, etc. This is what has been pushing at my mind for some time now. And it's also why I choose no to RP anymore.
Ahem, now that I have that out, what else can I rant on. Hn. Yes, Valentines Day is just around the corner, and I let it slip my mind. Damn.. I have an approximate of five cards to get and send out, or give. I know the cards for everyone, because I went looking before hand. I'd like to get everyone teddy bears or the likes to, but my dad is not willing to give me that much money to send things out. Eh. -Shrugs.- Valentines Day has always been lonely for me, for I've spent it alone, for almost thirteen years. Now that I have someone though.. I hop it will be different, though I can't literally hug and kiss him, and tell him 'Happy Valentines Day' I hope he'll be okay with a card and an e-kiss from me. n.n;; Heh.
What else can I rant about, hn, since I have nothing better to do then stare at the screen and wait for replys from Ryan. -Rests her cheek in her hand.- Meh, I want to cut my hair, but I know a large ammount of people who would chase after me with pitchforks and torches if I did, screaming, 'Kill kill kill!' o_o; It's my hair damnit. At the same time though, I'd like to let it grow out. It's a confusing subject. Should I let it grow out so I can be happy wif my hair again, or should I cut it and spike it like I was able to do a while ago? I 'unno exactly what I'm going to do with it yet, but I'm sure my decision will be a good one, not that they are to begin with anyway. =/
OH!! My birthday is also coming up, I'm going to try and talk my relatives into buying me a trench coat. I doubt that they'll get me one, but I can try. I've wanted one for a while now. A long black one, that doesn't exactly sweep on the ground, but doesn't exactly go above my ankles. Long black leather one. Or a black jean one. Either way it's fine with me, I'd wear it every single day. For I have a low body temperature to begin with and I'm always cold, so yeah. >_> God, what else can I rant on, because I'm beginning to grow boreddd......
Meh, I have nothing else to rant on, so I'll leave with a thinger I wrote, and maybe a quote...
"Even blood that pours down from the slash wound to the chest need a reason, right? Don't humans feel at ease by hurting other people? Why do you look so disgusted? Deep inside, you deceive yourself with things you don't know, right? Will we never understand eachother? Is it you not wanting to? This is the garden of suicide. Are you having fun? Will my dreams come true at that garden? You don't have a reason to live in front of you?.............In front of you is a box garden full of all you people's lies and deciets."
" Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand... So even if I engraved the meaning that I live in my hand, it would only be known as flowers of vanity.. Let's bloom flowers of attempted suicide.. Goodbye. Kiss me. This is just my memory. "
Both written by me, but both different meanings.. Now... -Skits.-
Lisa <3
That was a post from yesterday evening...
People are pushing me to RP again. I see no need to RP anymore, when I first began, it was just a way to get away from my life. It was another reality that I could turn to when I needed to get away. It worked wonders indeed, but then I started to get to emotionally involved, I'd mix fantasy with reality, and cry over character's loses, or even breakups. It was a part of me, and when a tragady happened in RP, it took it's toll on me. So, I started to turn to other things, like OOC'ing, that...got old and annoying, so I just RP'ed.. every now and then, a trip to the chibi center, one lining, which by the way, made me feel degraded, because I was so used to multiple paragraphs that it was hard to think of putting all that detail into one or two sentences, but I got over it. Then it got to the point where I only RP'ed with certain people. Not it's I only RP with one person, and that one person has to force me into it, or trick me into it. I see RP as another world in itself, which it is, duh Lisa. But, what I'm getting at is... why should one RP, when it's a reality that you can never truly have, because it's not real you can never have that happiness.. in reality. If one can't truly grasp the happiness that they feel when they RP, why do it? Or the sadness they feel, sorrow, loss, etc. This is what has been pushing at my mind for some time now. And it's also why I choose no to RP anymore.
Ahem, now that I have that out, what else can I rant on. Hn. Yes, Valentines Day is just around the corner, and I let it slip my mind. Damn.. I have an approximate of five cards to get and send out, or give. I know the cards for everyone, because I went looking before hand. I'd like to get everyone teddy bears or the likes to, but my dad is not willing to give me that much money to send things out. Eh. -Shrugs.- Valentines Day has always been lonely for me, for I've spent it alone, for almost thirteen years. Now that I have someone though.. I hop it will be different, though I can't literally hug and kiss him, and tell him 'Happy Valentines Day' I hope he'll be okay with a card and an e-kiss from me. n.n;; Heh.
What else can I rant about, hn, since I have nothing better to do then stare at the screen and wait for replys from Ryan. -Rests her cheek in her hand.- Meh, I want to cut my hair, but I know a large ammount of people who would chase after me with pitchforks and torches if I did, screaming, 'Kill kill kill!' o_o; It's my hair damnit. At the same time though, I'd like to let it grow out. It's a confusing subject. Should I let it grow out so I can be happy wif my hair again, or should I cut it and spike it like I was able to do a while ago? I 'unno exactly what I'm going to do with it yet, but I'm sure my decision will be a good one, not that they are to begin with anyway. =/
OH!! My birthday is also coming up, I'm going to try and talk my relatives into buying me a trench coat. I doubt that they'll get me one, but I can try. I've wanted one for a while now. A long black one, that doesn't exactly sweep on the ground, but doesn't exactly go above my ankles. Long black leather one. Or a black jean one. Either way it's fine with me, I'd wear it every single day. For I have a low body temperature to begin with and I'm always cold, so yeah. >_> God, what else can I rant on, because I'm beginning to grow boreddd......
Meh, I have nothing else to rant on, so I'll leave with a thinger I wrote, and maybe a quote...
"Even blood that pours down from the slash wound to the chest need a reason, right? Don't humans feel at ease by hurting other people? Why do you look so disgusted? Deep inside, you deceive yourself with things you don't know, right? Will we never understand eachother? Is it you not wanting to? This is the garden of suicide. Are you having fun? Will my dreams come true at that garden? You don't have a reason to live in front of you?.............In front of you is a box garden full of all you people's lies and deciets."
" Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand... So even if I engraved the meaning that I live in my hand, it would only be known as flowers of vanity.. Let's bloom flowers of attempted suicide.. Goodbye. Kiss me. This is just my memory. "
Both written by me, but both different meanings.. Now... -Skits.-
Lisa <3
That was a post from yesterday evening...