Hotel room at the Arms, Monday morning
Tension and unease kept Raven awake in Glacia; though she managed to quell her fears that Karla or Warren would try to kill her, since she hoped in their hearts they could recognize she was not the same as her future self in this world, she was still afraid one of Karla's court might take it upon him or herself to rid their Queen of the potential threat. She stayed to her room and watched the skies outside her window, waiting for signs of dawn, heralding what she prayed was a return to Fandom, but she was so drained that she finally fell into a troubled sleep in the early hours of the morning.
While she slept, Fandom pulled her back home, and as consciousness gradually returned, she realized she was right where she'd gone to sleep Friday night, in Jono's hotel room. Her initial surge of relief to be back was quickly chased away by the memories of that awful place, and she rolled on to her side, pressing her face into a pillow to try to muffle her tears.
Jono
After the course of the weekend, Jono had at least made a point to return to the hotel room that he'd been holing himself up in. Every outlaw needed a hideaway, particularly if they found themselves suddenly and unexpectedly without their horse, and this place had seemed convenient enough. Of course, Jono Hex had been just a touch more paranoid than Jonothon Starsmore, and he'd fallen asleep last night in a chair by the window, pistol in one hand, one eye open.
When Jono woke up this morning, he was without pistol and paranoia, fortunately. Unfortunately, he was waking up to the sound of Raven, trying not to cry.
//... Sunshine?//
Raven
Raven pushed herself up at the sound of his voice in her mind, looking around the room frantically until her eyes fell on him. "You are all right," she said, silently thanking Azar for that at least. "I was so worried when I awoke and was no longer here with you."
Jono
//'M fine, luv,// he promised, stretching his arms briefly before he stood and made his way over to crouch at the side of the bed. //Spent my weekend speaking in a bad Texan accent, but nothing's hurt but my dignity, really.//
He gave her a worried once-over, and then reached for her hand.
//How're you holding up?//
Raven
Raven's hand shook as she took his and threaded her fingers with his. She'd barely kept it together in Glacia, unwilling to have any sort of breakdown in a place where she already felt watched and vulnerable. She knew the future she was witnessing wasn't necessarily what was going to happen to her, but the fact that it had for some Raven and that it could for her filled her with fear and shame.
"I am all right," she said, but her words didn't match her actions as she bowed her head over their clasped hands, tears streaming down her face.
Jono
For whatever reason, Jono wasn't going to take her word for this one.
//Where did you go, luv?// Probably best to start at the beginning, he figured, as he pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, letting go of one of her hands only so that he could attempt to guide her somewhat into his lap. 'Close' seemed like a good idea, right then. //What happened?//
Raven
Raven pressed her face against his shoulder as she let the tears fall. She couldn't speak for several moments, just clinging and trying to take comfort in the fact that he was here and safe and alive and she wasn't evil and surely Karla and Warren had to be safe somewhere in the dorms.
"Glacia," she finally managed, a hitch in her voice. "Rook's world."
Jono
'Glacia' was a word that Jono recognized easily enough. Karla would have boxed him around the ears if he hadn't been able to make that connection, after all. The name 'Rook' took him a moment, however, so he pulled her a little closer and held her a little tighter while he figured that one out.
//Yer daughter with Karla?//
His voice was gentle, so much as a telepathic voice possibly could be.
Raven
She nodded, bringing up a hand to wipe her eyes. "I awoke there with Karla and Dinah. The Raven of that world had taken her Karla and Warren. She wanted to trade them for Rook, and she did terrible things to them."
She squeezed her arms tightly around him, lifting her head finally to look him in the face. "She said she killed you, too. I did not want to believe her." She hadn't been privy to Karla's later conversation to know that was a lie for certain.
Jono
Jono looked her in the eye, his eyebrows furrowed a little as he sorted through all of that. All of the possibilities that she must be swimming in right then, reminding him faintly of the possible futures that Fandom had afforded him a glance at, over the years.
//I would be difficult to kill,// he offered, softly, his mind drifting next to the scattered coldness that he'd felt before his power had rebuilt his body after he'd destroyed Adel. There was a reason they called him Chamber, after all. //I don't think she would've had quite th'luck with it that she was letting on, luv.//
... For what that was worth.
Raven
"She wished to drive me into a rage," Raven said. She unwound one arm so she could lift a hand to his face. "So that my demon side would come forth. But I told myself she must be lying. I would not give in to her."
She couldn't just say she would never hurt him, because she'd never hurt Karla or Warren, either, and her future self had done just that.
"I do not ever wish to become as she was," she whispered. "But now I am so afraid."
Jono
//Don't be afraid.// One of Jono's hands lifted to cup over hers again. //Fear hasn't done either of us any favours over th'past little while, has it?//
See? Jonothon could be insightful, when he wasn't talking about himself.
//And there are other futures, luv. Other possibilities that didn't see you losing yerself to yer demon side again. Elizabeth. Remember Elizabeth?//
Raven
Raven sniffled and seized on to that like she was clinging to him now. "I just wish I knew what went wrong, why one life leads one way and another to...that," she said. "That Raven did not want her fate, either. I do not know what happened to her, but her demon side became stronger and sought to destroy her human soul utterly. She put it in Karla -- that is how Rook was created. We restored her, but she had already done so many terrible things."
Jono
Jonothon nodded, running his fingers through her hair as he held her in his lap.
//I suppose we won't ever know,// he murmured. //Just like any of the other futures we've seen. All we can do is try for th'best, luv. There are so many possibilities, the odds of that fate ever being th'one you live out are... slim, at best.//
Well. One could hope.
Raven
"I do not ever wish to feel what I sensed from the Karla and Warren of that world," Raven said. Her shaking and tears were beginning to stop as she was able to accept she was home and safe, but it was going to take time for the memories to fade.
"They hated her so much. And she felt so much guilt and sorrow. They are all so hurt and unhappy. I will not be the cause of that." She closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder again, soaking in his comfort to chase the fear and doubt away.
Jono
//I believe you, Sunshine. You won't be.//
He couldn't possibly hold on to her tightly enough, right now. But he could offer that comfort, even push it her way to the best of his ability. Calm. Some fragment of optimism that he kept tucked away for a rainy day.
//We'll make certain of it.//
Raven
"I am glad that you are here now," Raven said, relaxing more into his arms. She couldn't imagine trying to face all this alone.
She pushed down on her own sorrows so she could turn her attention to him. "You are certain you are well? Texan accent?"
Jono
//Mmm,// Jono confirmed, his tone dismissive, somewhat. //I was a cowboy this weekend. Me, but not me. One of those things again.//
Only slightly off-putting, in that he was not-him enough to not really be him, but him enough to leave him wondering. Like some weird amalgam of who he was, and somebody completely different, living a different life in some reality that he was vaguely familiar with.
Fandom's take on 'six degrees of separation' was absolutely absurd.
//But I'm fine. Didn't stir up too much trouble, at least.//
Raven
"I think I would have liked to have seen that," Raven said. It certainly would have been preferable to what she had seen, and she as glad, at least, that Jono had not seen that, how the older Raven had so gleefully tormented those opposing her, and how devastated she'd been when her soul was restored.
"But I am relieved you are well."
Jono
//As well as I've ever been,// Jono agreed with a small nod and something kind of like a nuzzle. //I imagine if you ask around, somebody's got to have photos of th'whole mess, somewhere.//
Or, worse yet, video.
... Though he did have to admit, he was quite the sharpshooter with that pistol he'd had.
Raven
"Were you wearing leather?" Raven said, shifting an arm to scrub her sleeve across her face. Azar, she must look a mess from the stress and crying and lack of sleep. It seemed silly to be concerned about such a thing, but even through all her despair some pride came peeking through.
"It is not as if I have not seen that before, but the hat would be different," she said. She wouldn't like the gun, though.
Jono
//Long leather duster, bandana 'round th'bottom of my face, spurs...//
The spurs were the weirdest of the whole ensemble, really. His boots generally had a pointed toe even when he wasn't a bleedin' cowboy.
//Th'hat wasn't all that bad, I suppose. Kept th'weather off.//
So very useful for... cowboy things, he was sure.
Raven
Raven lifted her hand to cup the side of his face, fingertips brushing the skin just above his wrappings. "Were you still psionic fire beneath?" she asked softly.
Jono
Jono nodded a little at that, leaning his face into her touch.
//I was. Scars on my face were worse, too, for that matter. Island being strange again, I suppose.//
It bothered him less than most of his glimpses of possible futures had.
Raven
"I had hoped that at least you would have been able to spend the weekend enjoying food and drink," Raven said with a wistful sadness.
"There are times when I feel so blessed with all this island has given me," she murmured. Jono, Karla, Anakin, and her friends first and foremost, learning to love and laugh and feel joy. "But with the good comes the bad." Death and pain and fear. She was never going to forget the betrayal in Karla's eyes or the sight of Warren with his wings torn off or her own future self's misery after she was restored at being the cause of both.
Jono
//It does,// Jono agreed, running his fingers through her hair, closing his eyes and just finding himself content to be in her company. //It wouldn't be life, otherwise.//
How could one possibly appreciate the good without a basis for comparison, anyhow?
Raven
"That is the lesson Azarath learned," Raven agreed. "When they cast off their negative emotions, the positive followed, for they could not rid themselves of one without the other."
She lifted her head to press a kiss, soft and gentle, against his wrappings, sending him the physical sensations as if it were truly his lips she was kissing. "I am glad I have learned otherwise."
Even with the fear of the future and the sorrow of death and the pain of loss, there was this. There was love. And that was the most wondrous feeling in the world.
[Preplayed with the wonderful furnaceface and coded using whateverknight's spiffy coder.]
While she slept, Fandom pulled her back home, and as consciousness gradually returned, she realized she was right where she'd gone to sleep Friday night, in Jono's hotel room. Her initial surge of relief to be back was quickly chased away by the memories of that awful place, and she rolled on to her side, pressing her face into a pillow to try to muffle her tears.
Jono
After the course of the weekend, Jono had at least made a point to return to the hotel room that he'd been holing himself up in. Every outlaw needed a hideaway, particularly if they found themselves suddenly and unexpectedly without their horse, and this place had seemed convenient enough. Of course, Jono Hex had been just a touch more paranoid than Jonothon Starsmore, and he'd fallen asleep last night in a chair by the window, pistol in one hand, one eye open.
When Jono woke up this morning, he was without pistol and paranoia, fortunately. Unfortunately, he was waking up to the sound of Raven, trying not to cry.
//... Sunshine?//
Raven
Raven pushed herself up at the sound of his voice in her mind, looking around the room frantically until her eyes fell on him. "You are all right," she said, silently thanking Azar for that at least. "I was so worried when I awoke and was no longer here with you."
Jono
//'M fine, luv,// he promised, stretching his arms briefly before he stood and made his way over to crouch at the side of the bed. //Spent my weekend speaking in a bad Texan accent, but nothing's hurt but my dignity, really.//
He gave her a worried once-over, and then reached for her hand.
//How're you holding up?//
Raven
Raven's hand shook as she took his and threaded her fingers with his. She'd barely kept it together in Glacia, unwilling to have any sort of breakdown in a place where she already felt watched and vulnerable. She knew the future she was witnessing wasn't necessarily what was going to happen to her, but the fact that it had for some Raven and that it could for her filled her with fear and shame.
"I am all right," she said, but her words didn't match her actions as she bowed her head over their clasped hands, tears streaming down her face.
Jono
For whatever reason, Jono wasn't going to take her word for this one.
//Where did you go, luv?// Probably best to start at the beginning, he figured, as he pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, letting go of one of her hands only so that he could attempt to guide her somewhat into his lap. 'Close' seemed like a good idea, right then. //What happened?//
Raven
Raven pressed her face against his shoulder as she let the tears fall. She couldn't speak for several moments, just clinging and trying to take comfort in the fact that he was here and safe and alive and she wasn't evil and surely Karla and Warren had to be safe somewhere in the dorms.
"Glacia," she finally managed, a hitch in her voice. "Rook's world."
Jono
'Glacia' was a word that Jono recognized easily enough. Karla would have boxed him around the ears if he hadn't been able to make that connection, after all. The name 'Rook' took him a moment, however, so he pulled her a little closer and held her a little tighter while he figured that one out.
//Yer daughter with Karla?//
His voice was gentle, so much as a telepathic voice possibly could be.
Raven
She nodded, bringing up a hand to wipe her eyes. "I awoke there with Karla and Dinah. The Raven of that world had taken her Karla and Warren. She wanted to trade them for Rook, and she did terrible things to them."
She squeezed her arms tightly around him, lifting her head finally to look him in the face. "She said she killed you, too. I did not want to believe her." She hadn't been privy to Karla's later conversation to know that was a lie for certain.
Jono
Jono looked her in the eye, his eyebrows furrowed a little as he sorted through all of that. All of the possibilities that she must be swimming in right then, reminding him faintly of the possible futures that Fandom had afforded him a glance at, over the years.
//I would be difficult to kill,// he offered, softly, his mind drifting next to the scattered coldness that he'd felt before his power had rebuilt his body after he'd destroyed Adel. There was a reason they called him Chamber, after all. //I don't think she would've had quite th'luck with it that she was letting on, luv.//
... For what that was worth.
Raven
"She wished to drive me into a rage," Raven said. She unwound one arm so she could lift a hand to his face. "So that my demon side would come forth. But I told myself she must be lying. I would not give in to her."
She couldn't just say she would never hurt him, because she'd never hurt Karla or Warren, either, and her future self had done just that.
"I do not ever wish to become as she was," she whispered. "But now I am so afraid."
Jono
//Don't be afraid.// One of Jono's hands lifted to cup over hers again. //Fear hasn't done either of us any favours over th'past little while, has it?//
See? Jonothon could be insightful, when he wasn't talking about himself.
//And there are other futures, luv. Other possibilities that didn't see you losing yerself to yer demon side again. Elizabeth. Remember Elizabeth?//
Raven
Raven sniffled and seized on to that like she was clinging to him now. "I just wish I knew what went wrong, why one life leads one way and another to...that," she said. "That Raven did not want her fate, either. I do not know what happened to her, but her demon side became stronger and sought to destroy her human soul utterly. She put it in Karla -- that is how Rook was created. We restored her, but she had already done so many terrible things."
Jono
Jonothon nodded, running his fingers through her hair as he held her in his lap.
//I suppose we won't ever know,// he murmured. //Just like any of the other futures we've seen. All we can do is try for th'best, luv. There are so many possibilities, the odds of that fate ever being th'one you live out are... slim, at best.//
Well. One could hope.
Raven
"I do not ever wish to feel what I sensed from the Karla and Warren of that world," Raven said. Her shaking and tears were beginning to stop as she was able to accept she was home and safe, but it was going to take time for the memories to fade.
"They hated her so much. And she felt so much guilt and sorrow. They are all so hurt and unhappy. I will not be the cause of that." She closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder again, soaking in his comfort to chase the fear and doubt away.
Jono
//I believe you, Sunshine. You won't be.//
He couldn't possibly hold on to her tightly enough, right now. But he could offer that comfort, even push it her way to the best of his ability. Calm. Some fragment of optimism that he kept tucked away for a rainy day.
//We'll make certain of it.//
Raven
"I am glad that you are here now," Raven said, relaxing more into his arms. She couldn't imagine trying to face all this alone.
She pushed down on her own sorrows so she could turn her attention to him. "You are certain you are well? Texan accent?"
Jono
//Mmm,// Jono confirmed, his tone dismissive, somewhat. //I was a cowboy this weekend. Me, but not me. One of those things again.//
Only slightly off-putting, in that he was not-him enough to not really be him, but him enough to leave him wondering. Like some weird amalgam of who he was, and somebody completely different, living a different life in some reality that he was vaguely familiar with.
Fandom's take on 'six degrees of separation' was absolutely absurd.
//But I'm fine. Didn't stir up too much trouble, at least.//
Raven
"I think I would have liked to have seen that," Raven said. It certainly would have been preferable to what she had seen, and she as glad, at least, that Jono had not seen that, how the older Raven had so gleefully tormented those opposing her, and how devastated she'd been when her soul was restored.
"But I am relieved you are well."
Jono
//As well as I've ever been,// Jono agreed with a small nod and something kind of like a nuzzle. //I imagine if you ask around, somebody's got to have photos of th'whole mess, somewhere.//
Or, worse yet, video.
... Though he did have to admit, he was quite the sharpshooter with that pistol he'd had.
Raven
"Were you wearing leather?" Raven said, shifting an arm to scrub her sleeve across her face. Azar, she must look a mess from the stress and crying and lack of sleep. It seemed silly to be concerned about such a thing, but even through all her despair some pride came peeking through.
"It is not as if I have not seen that before, but the hat would be different," she said. She wouldn't like the gun, though.
Jono
//Long leather duster, bandana 'round th'bottom of my face, spurs...//
The spurs were the weirdest of the whole ensemble, really. His boots generally had a pointed toe even when he wasn't a bleedin' cowboy.
//Th'hat wasn't all that bad, I suppose. Kept th'weather off.//
So very useful for... cowboy things, he was sure.
Raven
Raven lifted her hand to cup the side of his face, fingertips brushing the skin just above his wrappings. "Were you still psionic fire beneath?" she asked softly.
Jono
Jono nodded a little at that, leaning his face into her touch.
//I was. Scars on my face were worse, too, for that matter. Island being strange again, I suppose.//
It bothered him less than most of his glimpses of possible futures had.
Raven
"I had hoped that at least you would have been able to spend the weekend enjoying food and drink," Raven said with a wistful sadness.
"There are times when I feel so blessed with all this island has given me," she murmured. Jono, Karla, Anakin, and her friends first and foremost, learning to love and laugh and feel joy. "But with the good comes the bad." Death and pain and fear. She was never going to forget the betrayal in Karla's eyes or the sight of Warren with his wings torn off or her own future self's misery after she was restored at being the cause of both.
Jono
//It does,// Jono agreed, running his fingers through her hair, closing his eyes and just finding himself content to be in her company. //It wouldn't be life, otherwise.//
How could one possibly appreciate the good without a basis for comparison, anyhow?
Raven
"That is the lesson Azarath learned," Raven agreed. "When they cast off their negative emotions, the positive followed, for they could not rid themselves of one without the other."
She lifted her head to press a kiss, soft and gentle, against his wrappings, sending him the physical sensations as if it were truly his lips she was kissing. "I am glad I have learned otherwise."
Even with the fear of the future and the sorrow of death and the pain of loss, there was this. There was love. And that was the most wondrous feeling in the world.
[Preplayed with the wonderful furnaceface and coded using whateverknight's spiffy coder.]