The Preserve, Thursday Afternoon
Raven hadn't slept at all the night before, but despite how tired she was, she decided to go out for a walk in the Preserve, hoping the peace and quiet would calm her troubled mind. And the cold might help wake her up. She didn't need as much sleep as others did, but no sleep at all plus the restlessness of the two previous nights was wearing on her.
One step she was moving beneath the trees, and the next she was walking into Anakin's office as she slipped into a dream without even realizing it. But it was Thursday, not Tuesday, wasn't it? She struggled to grasp the inconsistency and ground herself in reality, but it fluttered away from her as she sank into the dream.
"How have you been feeling, Raven?" Anakin asked her as she sat down. "You look tired."
"I have been having nightmares again," she reluctantly confessed. There was no point to being evasive about it; he could already see the effect it was having on her, and she knew it had been mentioned on the radio.
He leaned forward with concern. "What have they been about?" he said.
It took her a moment to form the words, because admitting the dreams made them feel all the more real. "I used my gifts to cause harm," she said quietly. "I hurt Jono and Karla." She'd done more than hurt them. She'd destroyed them.
"How?" Anakin said sharply. "Why?" She knew he knew they were two of the most important people in the world to her, and if she was harming them in her dreams, it was definitely a bad sign.
She twisted her rings, trembling as she spoke. "I was cruel to Jono. I called him a monster and said I could never love him, which is not true because I do! And then I fed on his emotions -- I pulled them all out of him until there was nothing of him left. And Karla...." She wasn't going to get into all the details there. "I was to take pain from her, but I gave it to her instead, and in doing so I shattered her spirit and drove her mad. I did so so that she would be more easily controlled when I gave her to my father." Just speaking about the dreams was making her feel sick, and it was all she could do keep her breakfast down.
Anakin studied her for a long moment. "Do you think you are a danger to the students here?"
She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "I am beginning to think so, yes," she said faintly. "The evil inside me is growing. I am not certain how much longer I can resist it."
He reached across his desk to offer her his hand. "Let me help you, Raven," he said. "Let me see what's going on."
She shook her head, dropping her gaze. "I do not want cause you harm as well," she said. "It has only been dreams so far, but this would be real. It is not worth the risk to you."
"What did I tell you the last time we met?" Anakin reminded her.
Glancing up at him, she forced a small smile. "Let you decide whether I am worth the danger or not," she said softly.
"You are," he told her. "Let me in, Raven. Let me help you."
She nodded and reached out to take his hand, then closed her eyes and willed herself to relax, letting her shields slip down so he could enter her mind. She knew he'd see what her inner self had become, why she avoided teleporting anyone anywhere because they would see. The netherverse was always cold, and now it was bitterly so. The islands of earth and stone that floated in the cosmos of her soul were gone, replaced with twisted spires of bone. Lightning streaked across the star-filled skies, and Trigon's laughter echoed around them. And the pain...she did her best to wall it up and ignore it, but the pain of everyone she'd healed since Kaeleer was still swirling around inside her.
"This is different," Anakin said idly. It was probably a good thing he had his usual Jedi cloak on or he might freeze to death.
"I have tried to fight it, but I have changed," Raven said from beside him, feeling ashamed of her weakness. "I am not certain how much longer I can fight my father."
He sent her a wave of reassurance. "You're stronger than you think," he said. "We'll stop him. We'll start with making your shields stronger."
"And if that does not work?" Raven said in a small voice. "If he takes me...will you stop me?"
She already knew the answer to that. He would, he had done it before when she'd lost control of her powers in the vampire-ruled Fandom. And she welcomed that -- she would rather die than harm those she loved. If the price of their safety was her own life, she would pay it.
But the memory of the moment when he'd killed her there triggered a sudden surge of powerful, uncontrollable rage. Unshielded as she was, it sliced right through her, along with her father's whisper. How dare he, Daughter? He killed you, and you must make him pay the price for that.
"Raven, stop!" Anakin ordered. He must've sensed her anger; she wasn't trying to hide it all. She wanted him to feel her fury. She unleashed a torrent of agony at him, the remembered pain of how his lightsaber had slashed through her body, at the same time forcing him from her mind.
Back in Anakin's office, she leapt to her feet. She'd shifted to her demonic form, skin reddening, claws sprouting from her fingers, four eyes glowing red. She sprang across his desk at him, intending to give him physical pain with the mental she was still throwing at him, but he held up a hand to fling her back against a wall with the Force and hold her there.
"Calm down!" he said as she struggled to free herself. "This isn't what you are."
She laughed in response. "This is my true self," she said. "I am Trigon's Daughter. And no man will control me." Her father offered her power, and she took it, sending bolts of red energy from her eyes toward Anakin, forcing him to release her to deflect them.
He ignited his lightsaber. "Don't make me do it, Raven," he warned. "You know I will."
"Not unless I kill you first," she threatened. Then a cruel smile spread across her face. "But killing you would be too fast, too kind. There are better ways to make you suffer. Your wife, your child...they will taste my power. They will suffer horrors you cannot possibly imagine, all because of you."
The lightsaber was arcing toward her, but she was faster and teleported away, still laughing, before the strike could land. A heartbeat later she was in Anakin and Rory's apartment in DC, where she could hear the sounds of Juliet playing and Rory moving about in the next room. Anakin couldn't follow, and even if he did find someone on the island to teleport him home, the few precious minutes it took would give her more than enough time to be finished and gone. She'd leave him Rory's savaged body to find, but Juliet...yes, she'd take the child with her to toy with for a very long time. And she'd send Anakin dreams of everything she did to the girl. Just imagining the tortures she'd do filled her with a perverse satisfaction.
By chance -- or maybe it was Fandom's way of helping out -- snow slid from a tree above her and splattered on the back of her neck, jolting her from the trance. She stumbled backwards, almost falling in the snow, confused and terrified and panicking. Even her waking hours weren't safe if her father could step into her mind like that and give her nightmares. She had to find a way to better shield herself...one that didn't risk the safety of her friends.
"Azar, please," she whispered, then turned to flee back to the dorms.
[Warnings for me just being mean. Dear potentially confused squirrels, all you saw was Raven walking, then stopping and just standing there with her eyes closed, then freaking out. :) ]
One step she was moving beneath the trees, and the next she was walking into Anakin's office as she slipped into a dream without even realizing it. But it was Thursday, not Tuesday, wasn't it? She struggled to grasp the inconsistency and ground herself in reality, but it fluttered away from her as she sank into the dream.
"How have you been feeling, Raven?" Anakin asked her as she sat down. "You look tired."
"I have been having nightmares again," she reluctantly confessed. There was no point to being evasive about it; he could already see the effect it was having on her, and she knew it had been mentioned on the radio.
He leaned forward with concern. "What have they been about?" he said.
It took her a moment to form the words, because admitting the dreams made them feel all the more real. "I used my gifts to cause harm," she said quietly. "I hurt Jono and Karla." She'd done more than hurt them. She'd destroyed them.
"How?" Anakin said sharply. "Why?" She knew he knew they were two of the most important people in the world to her, and if she was harming them in her dreams, it was definitely a bad sign.
She twisted her rings, trembling as she spoke. "I was cruel to Jono. I called him a monster and said I could never love him, which is not true because I do! And then I fed on his emotions -- I pulled them all out of him until there was nothing of him left. And Karla...." She wasn't going to get into all the details there. "I was to take pain from her, but I gave it to her instead, and in doing so I shattered her spirit and drove her mad. I did so so that she would be more easily controlled when I gave her to my father." Just speaking about the dreams was making her feel sick, and it was all she could do keep her breakfast down.
Anakin studied her for a long moment. "Do you think you are a danger to the students here?"
She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "I am beginning to think so, yes," she said faintly. "The evil inside me is growing. I am not certain how much longer I can resist it."
He reached across his desk to offer her his hand. "Let me help you, Raven," he said. "Let me see what's going on."
She shook her head, dropping her gaze. "I do not want cause you harm as well," she said. "It has only been dreams so far, but this would be real. It is not worth the risk to you."
"What did I tell you the last time we met?" Anakin reminded her.
Glancing up at him, she forced a small smile. "Let you decide whether I am worth the danger or not," she said softly.
"You are," he told her. "Let me in, Raven. Let me help you."
She nodded and reached out to take his hand, then closed her eyes and willed herself to relax, letting her shields slip down so he could enter her mind. She knew he'd see what her inner self had become, why she avoided teleporting anyone anywhere because they would see. The netherverse was always cold, and now it was bitterly so. The islands of earth and stone that floated in the cosmos of her soul were gone, replaced with twisted spires of bone. Lightning streaked across the star-filled skies, and Trigon's laughter echoed around them. And the pain...she did her best to wall it up and ignore it, but the pain of everyone she'd healed since Kaeleer was still swirling around inside her.
"This is different," Anakin said idly. It was probably a good thing he had his usual Jedi cloak on or he might freeze to death.
"I have tried to fight it, but I have changed," Raven said from beside him, feeling ashamed of her weakness. "I am not certain how much longer I can fight my father."
He sent her a wave of reassurance. "You're stronger than you think," he said. "We'll stop him. We'll start with making your shields stronger."
"And if that does not work?" Raven said in a small voice. "If he takes me...will you stop me?"
She already knew the answer to that. He would, he had done it before when she'd lost control of her powers in the vampire-ruled Fandom. And she welcomed that -- she would rather die than harm those she loved. If the price of their safety was her own life, she would pay it.
But the memory of the moment when he'd killed her there triggered a sudden surge of powerful, uncontrollable rage. Unshielded as she was, it sliced right through her, along with her father's whisper. How dare he, Daughter? He killed you, and you must make him pay the price for that.
"Raven, stop!" Anakin ordered. He must've sensed her anger; she wasn't trying to hide it all. She wanted him to feel her fury. She unleashed a torrent of agony at him, the remembered pain of how his lightsaber had slashed through her body, at the same time forcing him from her mind.
Back in Anakin's office, she leapt to her feet. She'd shifted to her demonic form, skin reddening, claws sprouting from her fingers, four eyes glowing red. She sprang across his desk at him, intending to give him physical pain with the mental she was still throwing at him, but he held up a hand to fling her back against a wall with the Force and hold her there.
"Calm down!" he said as she struggled to free herself. "This isn't what you are."
She laughed in response. "This is my true self," she said. "I am Trigon's Daughter. And no man will control me." Her father offered her power, and she took it, sending bolts of red energy from her eyes toward Anakin, forcing him to release her to deflect them.
He ignited his lightsaber. "Don't make me do it, Raven," he warned. "You know I will."
"Not unless I kill you first," she threatened. Then a cruel smile spread across her face. "But killing you would be too fast, too kind. There are better ways to make you suffer. Your wife, your child...they will taste my power. They will suffer horrors you cannot possibly imagine, all because of you."
The lightsaber was arcing toward her, but she was faster and teleported away, still laughing, before the strike could land. A heartbeat later she was in Anakin and Rory's apartment in DC, where she could hear the sounds of Juliet playing and Rory moving about in the next room. Anakin couldn't follow, and even if he did find someone on the island to teleport him home, the few precious minutes it took would give her more than enough time to be finished and gone. She'd leave him Rory's savaged body to find, but Juliet...yes, she'd take the child with her to toy with for a very long time. And she'd send Anakin dreams of everything she did to the girl. Just imagining the tortures she'd do filled her with a perverse satisfaction.
By chance -- or maybe it was Fandom's way of helping out -- snow slid from a tree above her and splattered on the back of her neck, jolting her from the trance. She stumbled backwards, almost falling in the snow, confused and terrified and panicking. Even her waking hours weren't safe if her father could step into her mind like that and give her nightmares. She had to find a way to better shield herself...one that didn't risk the safety of her friends.
"Azar, please," she whispered, then turned to flee back to the dorms.
[Warnings for me just being mean. Dear potentially confused squirrels, all you saw was Raven walking, then stopping and just standing there with her eyes closed, then freaking out. :) ]