(no subject)

[triggerfinger]

i almost fell apart that time. well actually, i did. i only got an hour of sleep last night from thinking so much and crying. i've picked myself up now. i'm dusting it off. i am not letting something like this bring me down. no. i've come way too far to let anything like this happen. not now not ever. i went to work this morning and showed no signs of cracking. no one gets to see me like that. no one gets to know. i've worked way too hard searching for happiness and i am going to just be content instead. i can't have everything and i don't want everything, but i am not going to let myself give up so easily on life. i have much more to live for than this and i do not deserve to be played and i will not stand for it. refuse to. i would rather be alone and than hurt so much.

i must be made of steel
for i just threw out the love of my dreams.