App
Name: Ladd Russo
Series: Baccano!
Age: 25
Job: Festivities Coordinator
Canon: Hey kids! You know about String Theory, don't you: A butterfly flaps its wings, and half way across the world the moon falls on Louisiana? So goes the plot of Baccano!, only instead of butterflies and less-than-natural disasters it's a boat of 18th-century demon-summoning alchemists and the resulting mafia war, a train heist and a daring cell-phone robbery; and let's not forget the terrorists disguised as an orchestra, the woman in work clothes, or the circus performer who might just be an urban legend. All those loose ends weave together for a fun, fast-paced story that barrels along out of control down the rails, one part comedy, one part shounen action and 16 parts senseless violence -- but when your main characters are a group of honest-to-god immortals, those too stupid to die and those with just a lot of dumb luck, it's no wonder that the storyline ends up more confused than this metaphor.
Ladd Russo may not be immortal, but he's got no intention of dying -- quite the opposite, as it's his dream to kill everyone in the world, then spend the rest of his life killing his fiancee to death. That may sound like bad romance, but Ladd's not very good at emotions. Whether he likes someone or hates them, chances are he wants to kill them, and the less they want to die the more he wants to do it. Being the best assassin the Russo mafia family's ever had, Ladd's pretty damn good at killing, but he's not exactly what you'd picture for an assassin: Big, loud, and in your face, Ladd Russo is crazier than snow in the summertime, and is more than willing to tell you all about it, at length and with a lot of repetition. Ladd's self-confidence is nigh-unshakable, and he is the king of nonsensical tl;dr -- run-on sentences that change subjects half way through, then back, or just stop abruptly in the middle of a thought are all par for the course.
Sample:
Yo, Stephan~!
Na, is it true you're not really dead? Ah, well, that's pretty ordinary: Lots of people aren't dead, not yet. There are lots and lots of people in the world who don't want to die just yet, and that why I'm going to kill them. Ah, but, that's beside the point. You're not dead and that's ordinary, but then, you're not dead and that's pretty interesting, because I heard you're supposed to be dead -- Somebody killed you, na? And yet you're alive, and still here. That's interesting. Interesting... interesting, but upsetting! And wrong! Something like that... If someone isn't going to die when they're supposed to be dead, then they have no reason to think "Ah, I don't want to die!" And then, if they're not thinking that, if they're thinking instead how it doesn't matter at all if they're going to die in the next second or not, ah, well, what am I supposed to do! Some smug bastard, smugly thinking smug thoughts like "I can't be killed!" Thinking, "I'm not going to die!" -- something like that, he'd probably wear it all over his smug bastard face, and that would really piss me off! It's frustrating! It really turns my murder gauge up to the max, you know!
--Ah, well, I guess that can wait a while. For now, I think it would be better if you weren't dead. For one, because if you aren't dead, then I can kill you, and that would make me feel good. Secondly, secondly -- it looks like I have an assignment. I don't like being bossed around, you know, but I can take orders, if they're fun for me. I've got something fun planned for everyone: a happy anniversary party, to celebrate everyone so kindly living here for so long. And everyone knows a party is fun, na? It's a little late, this party, but there was a lot of planning to think of. Heh, no, that's a lie -- I haven't done any planning yet. Now, listen: we can invite everyone to a single building, where the party is. That will be fun. And then -- then we'll set the roof is on fire. We wont need any water, heh, let it burn -- the entire building! Ah, well, that's a bluff -- but if we threaten then it might get our point across. If that doesn't work, then I can turn it into a hostage situation. I'm thinking I can kill half the people in the building -- that's a good number. Then everyone is happy! I get to kill people, and you get to know I've done the job I was hired to do. It will be such a surprise for everyone: a surprise party!
Ah, but, speaking of surprises, there was one for me, too. Hey, hey, you're not the only person here who's supposed to be dead, right? At first, I thought it would be really frustrating, you know? But then, I had this idea: Even if they come back to life after I've killed them, ah, well, I can just kill them again. The look on their face, that will be the best part. I'll show them, really show them! I'll show all these I'll-come-right-back types the true harshness of life! Haha! And you set all this up for me! Bringing me all the way out here to a place where people who have died don't stay dead. Even though you're the one that I want to kill the most of all, you know? Ah, well, you probably knew that already, Stephan, Mr. Not-Dying -- you'd know. And yet, you still did this for me: It must be love! Ha, well, I have a fiancee, you have a fiancee, she'd probably be upset if I killed you, but that's alright. Something like that could still be a good time. I want your love, and your lover's revenge -- I accept it all, so just go ahead and die!
Your coming back will be a great gift, ah, but, one for me. I don't think it will be a gift for you, probably; but you'll come back to life, so we'll have a lot to celebrate: congratulations on dying, on coming back, on your birthday! Many happy returns.
59/0
Series: Baccano!
Age: 25
Job: Festivities Coordinator
Canon: Hey kids! You know about String Theory, don't you: A butterfly flaps its wings, and half way across the world the moon falls on Louisiana? So goes the plot of Baccano!, only instead of butterflies and less-than-natural disasters it's a boat of 18th-century demon-summoning alchemists and the resulting mafia war, a train heist and a daring cell-phone robbery; and let's not forget the terrorists disguised as an orchestra, the woman in work clothes, or the circus performer who might just be an urban legend. All those loose ends weave together for a fun, fast-paced story that barrels along out of control down the rails, one part comedy, one part shounen action and 16 parts senseless violence -- but when your main characters are a group of honest-to-god immortals, those too stupid to die and those with just a lot of dumb luck, it's no wonder that the storyline ends up more confused than this metaphor.
Ladd Russo may not be immortal, but he's got no intention of dying -- quite the opposite, as it's his dream to kill everyone in the world, then spend the rest of his life killing his fiancee to death. That may sound like bad romance, but Ladd's not very good at emotions. Whether he likes someone or hates them, chances are he wants to kill them, and the less they want to die the more he wants to do it. Being the best assassin the Russo mafia family's ever had, Ladd's pretty damn good at killing, but he's not exactly what you'd picture for an assassin: Big, loud, and in your face, Ladd Russo is crazier than snow in the summertime, and is more than willing to tell you all about it, at length and with a lot of repetition. Ladd's self-confidence is nigh-unshakable, and he is the king of nonsensical tl;dr -- run-on sentences that change subjects half way through, then back, or just stop abruptly in the middle of a thought are all par for the course.
Sample:
Yo, Stephan~!
Na, is it true you're not really dead? Ah, well, that's pretty ordinary: Lots of people aren't dead, not yet. There are lots and lots of people in the world who don't want to die just yet, and that why I'm going to kill them. Ah, but, that's beside the point. You're not dead and that's ordinary, but then, you're not dead and that's pretty interesting, because I heard you're supposed to be dead -- Somebody killed you, na? And yet you're alive, and still here. That's interesting. Interesting... interesting, but upsetting! And wrong! Something like that... If someone isn't going to die when they're supposed to be dead, then they have no reason to think "Ah, I don't want to die!" And then, if they're not thinking that, if they're thinking instead how it doesn't matter at all if they're going to die in the next second or not, ah, well, what am I supposed to do! Some smug bastard, smugly thinking smug thoughts like "I can't be killed!" Thinking, "I'm not going to die!" -- something like that, he'd probably wear it all over his smug bastard face, and that would really piss me off! It's frustrating! It really turns my murder gauge up to the max, you know!
--Ah, well, I guess that can wait a while. For now, I think it would be better if you weren't dead. For one, because if you aren't dead, then I can kill you, and that would make me feel good. Secondly, secondly -- it looks like I have an assignment. I don't like being bossed around, you know, but I can take orders, if they're fun for me. I've got something fun planned for everyone: a happy anniversary party, to celebrate everyone so kindly living here for so long. And everyone knows a party is fun, na? It's a little late, this party, but there was a lot of planning to think of. Heh, no, that's a lie -- I haven't done any planning yet. Now, listen: we can invite everyone to a single building, where the party is. That will be fun. And then -- then we'll set the roof is on fire. We wont need any water, heh, let it burn -- the entire building! Ah, well, that's a bluff -- but if we threaten then it might get our point across. If that doesn't work, then I can turn it into a hostage situation. I'm thinking I can kill half the people in the building -- that's a good number. Then everyone is happy! I get to kill people, and you get to know I've done the job I was hired to do. It will be such a surprise for everyone: a surprise party!
Ah, but, speaking of surprises, there was one for me, too. Hey, hey, you're not the only person here who's supposed to be dead, right? At first, I thought it would be really frustrating, you know? But then, I had this idea: Even if they come back to life after I've killed them, ah, well, I can just kill them again. The look on their face, that will be the best part. I'll show them, really show them! I'll show all these I'll-come-right-back types the true harshness of life! Haha! And you set all this up for me! Bringing me all the way out here to a place where people who have died don't stay dead. Even though you're the one that I want to kill the most of all, you know? Ah, well, you probably knew that already, Stephan, Mr. Not-Dying -- you'd know. And yet, you still did this for me: It must be love! Ha, well, I have a fiancee, you have a fiancee, she'd probably be upset if I killed you, but that's alright. Something like that could still be a good time. I want your love, and your lover's revenge -- I accept it all, so just go ahead and die!
Your coming back will be a great gift, ah, but, one for me. I don't think it will be a gift for you, probably; but you'll come back to life, so we'll have a lot to celebrate: congratulations on dying, on coming back, on your birthday! Many happy returns.
59/0