Past, Present & Future, Chapter 19 Part 2
Part 1
Chapter 19: Patching Things Right
Part 2
He knew from Moonbin that his brother was going to have dinner with Kim Jaejoong tonight. It’s also been three years since he last saw him. Right after his nephew texted him about the dinner he called Jaejoong and asked him to meet before his dinner. Jaejoong said yes hesitantly and agreed to meet him at 5pm at the Coffee Shop next to the restaurant where he and Yunho would meet.
When Changmin got there 10 minutes before 5, he saw an empty cup in front of the anxious man. He stood up when he approached the table but Changmin told him to sit. He didn’t offer that man a hand shake.
“You’re early.” He saw Jaejoong gulped and nodded. But he didn’t say anything else. “So you’ll be seeing my brother again tonight.”
“I will.”
“I’m not opposed to the possibilities of you guys being together again, but I really need to ensure that you won’t break his heart for the second time.”
“I-“ He took a deep breath, “What makes you so sure that we’re getting back together?”
“I’m sorry to tell you that I know my brother better than you do. After all, I was the one who helped him to pick up the pieces after you left him and back to your family.” He smirked as he saw Jaejoong’s face turned red. “Wasn’t it ironic? He left me because of you, but when you’re gone I was the one who helped him back on his feet again. Even when he lost his arm I was there to tell him that things would be okay, I was the one who took care of Binnie when he was still adjusting himself with the prosthesis.”
“Look, Changmin-ssi, I don’t know what you’re trying say b-“
“What I’m trying to say is!” He looked at him sharply without a smile, “You better treat him right this time or I’ll be back to the firm and make sure that you won’t even have a cent after I destroy your company.”
Jaejoong didn’t seem intimidated by his words, instead he threw him a question.
“If you love your brother so much, then why did you tell me to take Moonbin away from him, knowing that it would break his heart? From my point of view, you were the heartless one and didn’t have a bit of love for your brother!”
Changmin smirked. “And this is where our difference lies, Jaejoong-ssi.”
“Oh really? Then tell me.” He challenged the younger man.
“You left him because you didn’t believe in him, you believed your father’s words more and you didn’t understand him at all. And then you took his son away from him for the sake of your own happiness. I gave you the idea because I wanted him to be happy. I knew what kind of love that he had for Moonbin and for myself, and I believed in it. I believed in him and his love; that somehow he would understand and still loved us like he always did.
“Was I wrong? No! I was right all along. Even after I disappeared from his life he still loved me, he still accepted me with all his heart. But what did you do? You took away his son in the hope that it would be the way to get him to back to you, you treated Moonbin like a mistress who took your love away while he was the one who had loved Yunho much more than you ever did!” He spat the words in front of him without mercy and he could see the other man trembled with the blunt honesty.
“I- I- I know I’m not worth of him… I don’t deserve him. If you’re coming to ask me to cut ties with him, I’ll do it… I deserve it…” he whispered as he gripped the tablecloth in front of him tightly.
Changmin sighed, “See… there’s no positivity around you at all… not an ounce of it. I just told you a few minutes ago that I’m not opposed to the possibilities of you guys being together again. Do you think I’m here just to tell you off? Jaejoong-ssi, even if I hate to you the core, my brother doesn’t. And it’s clear that Moonbin doesn’t hate you as well. What right do I have to hate you when they don’t?
For the first time Changmin smiled and Jaejoong felt like he’s going to break down and cry.
“What I’m saying is… forgive yourself before you ask for his forgiveness once again. He may have said that he had forgiven you, but unless you forgive yourself, there’s no way that it’s going to work out right for the both of you. Stop feeling guilty, stop feeling ashamed ‘cause my brother was never ashamed for what he had with you. Try to be honest with yourself and tell him what you wanted to tell him.”
Changmin stood up, “So prepare yourself with honesty before you talk with my brother. And I’m looking forward to the day when I can see you eye to eye like when we first met.” He walked over to Jaejoong and patted his back, “I trust my brother and my nephew’s feeling… and I want to trust you too. Enjoy your dinner.”
He turned around and not looking back. If Jaejoong is the only part of the puzzle to complete his brother’s happiness, then he won’t mind to be the one who put the right piece back to where it belongs.
He entered his car and suddenly felt the urge to talk to someone he hasn’t talked to for a long time. He started the car’s ignition and connected his Bluetooth before he pressed the shortcut button to call for the number he remembered by heart. There’s only 1 dial tone before the phone was picked up.
“…”
“If you call just to hear my voice then I’m going to hang up, asshole!” A voice was heard on the other line and made him laughed out loud.
“Hello Su, I miss you too.”
“… I don’t miss you.”
“Is that the way a politician talk? You won’t get a vote with that attitude, idiot!”
“Smartass!”
“…”
“I miss you too.”
“Let’s meet up…”
“I’m free tonight.”
“Great. 9pm, the usual place?”
“See you.”
And the phone was clicked shut. Changmin smiled, tonight’s the night to walk down memory’s lane. Geez, looks like hanging out with his brother again had turned him into a sap. But well, maybe that’s how it’s meant to be. And he pressed the gas to pick up the love of his life.
* * * * *
The food was great, the service was perfect and the ambience of the restaurant was romantic enough that he couldn’t stop staring at the good looking man in front of him. Even after these years, Yunho could say that he never met anyone as handsome as Jaejoong. But maybe he stared and talked too much ‘cause Jaejoong started to fidgeting on his seat.
“Do you like the desert?”
“Oh yeah, it’s great. It’s not too sweet, I hate sweet stuff.”
“Ah, but you used to have a sweet tooth!” Yunho regretted saying it cause Jaejoong’s face darkened a bit. “I’m sorry, of course you don’t like sweet stuff anymore, you’re not 18 anymore.” He chuckled nervously.
“That’s not it, I-“ He let out a sigh and put his fork on the plate. “I’m sorry, but I…” He tried to say it but the words were stuck in his throat.
“Something wrong Jaejoong? Was it something I said? I’m sorry if-“
And he let out his frustration by shouting at him, “You’ve done nothing wrong!! It’s nothing you said, stop staying sorry, cause I was- I-“
Yunho felt people’s stares and reached out to hold Jae’s hand that’s on the table. “If you want to talk or say something to me, then maybe we can talk somewhere else. Would that be fine with you?”
Jaejoong nodded and Yunho asked the waiter for their bill. It felt like forever until they both were out of the restaurant, away from the curious gaze of the patrons.
“Where you wanna go? Are you driving here?” Yunho asked him carefully while still holding his hand.
“Anywhere but here… No, I’m not driving, Yoochun dropped me off and asked me to call him whenever I’m leaving.”
“No need to call Yoochun anymore, I’ll get my driver to get you back home after we’re done talking.”
Jaejoong just nodded and a few minutes later they’re already inside a suite of a hotel room. Yunho said that if they’re going to have a talk, it’s impossible to have it at either of their places without having a risk of Moonbin or Jaejoong’s mother trying to eavesdrop. A public place is also a no no since the last news of Jaejoong’s fiasco in his office. Jaejoong had to agree with it but somehow being in a hotel room still with Yunho still made him nervous.
Yunho poured them some alcohol and they sat next to each other in the love seat of the room’s.
“Yunho, why did you forgive me after all I’ve done to you?” Was the Jaejoong’s first question to him.
“My son kept asking me if I still love you… and I realized that I never fell out of love with you.” Yunho saw the shock on the other man’s face. “There’s no use for me to keep denying my feelings… and everyone deserves a second chance.”
Jaejoong shook his head furiously. “But you don’t know me at all, you don’t know what I’ve been in the 15 years we didn’t see each other, I don’t deserve you, I don’t-“ The tears that he’d been holding back since his conversation with Changmin fell freely on his face. He lost his grip on the glass that he’s holding and the alcohol stained the carpet as he covered his face with his palms. He was too ashamed to face Yunho.
But Yunho pried his hands off his face. “Jae… I read everything about you… no matter how I tried to lock you up in memory, you kept coming back in my dreams. I need to know if you feel the same way too… but there’s no way it could happen unless you trust me like I trusted you.”
“You’ll hate me…” He choked on his tears.
“Jae, look at me.” He held his face in his hands. “I want you to tell me what you’ve been through… I won’t hate you… I just want to get to know you again.. I want to love you and I want you to love me back. But first, I want you to be honest with me. I’ve told you everything that I’ve been through, and I’m proud to be able to let you know. I want you to be proud of yourself, you’re a strong man to be able to be here with me. Please Jae… let me know you better.”
And Jaejoong told him everything that he’d been through… from the separation to the time when Moonbin was living with him… His longing for a family, his hatred for his parents, his failed marriage, his searching for Yunho... and all the time when he was talking Yunho didn’t let go of his hands even once that he found comfort in his embrace.
He didn’t know how long did he talk, he didn’t even dare to look into Yunho’s eyes, but he could feel his warmth around him. He could hear his heartbeats in his ear when he held him in his arms. When there were nothing to say anymore, he waited until Yunho said something.
And then he felt Yunho pulled him off of his embrace and cupped his face. “Thank you Jae… thank you for trusting me.”
The next thing he remembered was salty kisses of tears… it was gentle but soon it turned out to be something more passionate, unstoppable, neither man was trying to stop it as they stumbled on the king size bed.
Yunho pulled off first from the heated kiss and looked into his eyes with fire in his gaze. “Jae, does this mean that we’re back together?”
“Only if you want me to.”
“I want you. I always want you. Does this mean that you’re ready to be Moonbin’s father again?”
“I’ll learn… even if it takes a lifetime.”
And when they kissed again, it was full of the emotions that they’ve been hiding for, the desperation, the longing… everything was bared through the meeting of their lips.
As they both tried to get rid of their clothes, Jaejoong stopped Yunho’s right hand fingers that’s fumbling with the buttons. Jaejoong whispered seductively in his ear, “Yunho… let me.”
And Yunho’s hand dropped to his side as he watched Jaejoong opened his buttons one by one. All the while without taking his eyes off of Yunho’s. When the shirts were opened, he pulled him off the bed a little to lose his shirt, then he took off his own shirt. And then he started to do something that he’d been wanting to do. He caressed Yunho’s prosthesis with his fingers. “May I?”
When Yunho nodded, he took it off slowly and put it aside on the side table. He bent down and spread butterfly kisses all over what’s left of his arm.
Yunho was lost in awe of the sensuality in Jaejoong’s way in treating his scar and he moaned when Jaejoong licked it. Who knew that it would become a turn on for both of them. He reached out his right arm to stop Jaejoong’s ministrations on his arm and lifted his face, he wanted to see his eyes. He caressed Jaejoong’s lips with his fingers… down to jaw and felt him shivered under his touch. His fingers travelled down and stopped when he felt his nipple. And Jaejoong arched on his back as he flicked the bud with his thumb.
As they both set themselves free in the sexual pleasure, they were determined to make up for the 18 years they were away from each other. All the hurts and the pain, they let them all out in the open through the moans and the touches. No, they weren’t having sex, they were making love.
And when they both reached the peak of their emotions, they were shouting the words they’d been longing to say to and hear from each other. ‘I love you.’
* * * * *
Epilogue
Chapter 19: Patching Things Right
Part 2
He knew from Moonbin that his brother was going to have dinner with Kim Jaejoong tonight. It’s also been three years since he last saw him. Right after his nephew texted him about the dinner he called Jaejoong and asked him to meet before his dinner. Jaejoong said yes hesitantly and agreed to meet him at 5pm at the Coffee Shop next to the restaurant where he and Yunho would meet.
When Changmin got there 10 minutes before 5, he saw an empty cup in front of the anxious man. He stood up when he approached the table but Changmin told him to sit. He didn’t offer that man a hand shake.
“You’re early.” He saw Jaejoong gulped and nodded. But he didn’t say anything else. “So you’ll be seeing my brother again tonight.”
“I will.”
“I’m not opposed to the possibilities of you guys being together again, but I really need to ensure that you won’t break his heart for the second time.”
“I-“ He took a deep breath, “What makes you so sure that we’re getting back together?”
“I’m sorry to tell you that I know my brother better than you do. After all, I was the one who helped him to pick up the pieces after you left him and back to your family.” He smirked as he saw Jaejoong’s face turned red. “Wasn’t it ironic? He left me because of you, but when you’re gone I was the one who helped him back on his feet again. Even when he lost his arm I was there to tell him that things would be okay, I was the one who took care of Binnie when he was still adjusting himself with the prosthesis.”
“Look, Changmin-ssi, I don’t know what you’re trying say b-“
“What I’m trying to say is!” He looked at him sharply without a smile, “You better treat him right this time or I’ll be back to the firm and make sure that you won’t even have a cent after I destroy your company.”
Jaejoong didn’t seem intimidated by his words, instead he threw him a question.
“If you love your brother so much, then why did you tell me to take Moonbin away from him, knowing that it would break his heart? From my point of view, you were the heartless one and didn’t have a bit of love for your brother!”
Changmin smirked. “And this is where our difference lies, Jaejoong-ssi.”
“Oh really? Then tell me.” He challenged the younger man.
“You left him because you didn’t believe in him, you believed your father’s words more and you didn’t understand him at all. And then you took his son away from him for the sake of your own happiness. I gave you the idea because I wanted him to be happy. I knew what kind of love that he had for Moonbin and for myself, and I believed in it. I believed in him and his love; that somehow he would understand and still loved us like he always did.
“Was I wrong? No! I was right all along. Even after I disappeared from his life he still loved me, he still accepted me with all his heart. But what did you do? You took away his son in the hope that it would be the way to get him to back to you, you treated Moonbin like a mistress who took your love away while he was the one who had loved Yunho much more than you ever did!” He spat the words in front of him without mercy and he could see the other man trembled with the blunt honesty.
“I- I- I know I’m not worth of him… I don’t deserve him. If you’re coming to ask me to cut ties with him, I’ll do it… I deserve it…” he whispered as he gripped the tablecloth in front of him tightly.
Changmin sighed, “See… there’s no positivity around you at all… not an ounce of it. I just told you a few minutes ago that I’m not opposed to the possibilities of you guys being together again. Do you think I’m here just to tell you off? Jaejoong-ssi, even if I hate to you the core, my brother doesn’t. And it’s clear that Moonbin doesn’t hate you as well. What right do I have to hate you when they don’t?
For the first time Changmin smiled and Jaejoong felt like he’s going to break down and cry.
“What I’m saying is… forgive yourself before you ask for his forgiveness once again. He may have said that he had forgiven you, but unless you forgive yourself, there’s no way that it’s going to work out right for the both of you. Stop feeling guilty, stop feeling ashamed ‘cause my brother was never ashamed for what he had with you. Try to be honest with yourself and tell him what you wanted to tell him.”
Changmin stood up, “So prepare yourself with honesty before you talk with my brother. And I’m looking forward to the day when I can see you eye to eye like when we first met.” He walked over to Jaejoong and patted his back, “I trust my brother and my nephew’s feeling… and I want to trust you too. Enjoy your dinner.”
He turned around and not looking back. If Jaejoong is the only part of the puzzle to complete his brother’s happiness, then he won’t mind to be the one who put the right piece back to where it belongs.
He entered his car and suddenly felt the urge to talk to someone he hasn’t talked to for a long time. He started the car’s ignition and connected his Bluetooth before he pressed the shortcut button to call for the number he remembered by heart. There’s only 1 dial tone before the phone was picked up.
“…”
“If you call just to hear my voice then I’m going to hang up, asshole!” A voice was heard on the other line and made him laughed out loud.
“Hello Su, I miss you too.”
“… I don’t miss you.”
“Is that the way a politician talk? You won’t get a vote with that attitude, idiot!”
“Smartass!”
“…”
“I miss you too.”
“Let’s meet up…”
“I’m free tonight.”
“Great. 9pm, the usual place?”
“See you.”
And the phone was clicked shut. Changmin smiled, tonight’s the night to walk down memory’s lane. Geez, looks like hanging out with his brother again had turned him into a sap. But well, maybe that’s how it’s meant to be. And he pressed the gas to pick up the love of his life.
* * * * *
The food was great, the service was perfect and the ambience of the restaurant was romantic enough that he couldn’t stop staring at the good looking man in front of him. Even after these years, Yunho could say that he never met anyone as handsome as Jaejoong. But maybe he stared and talked too much ‘cause Jaejoong started to fidgeting on his seat.
“Do you like the desert?”
“Oh yeah, it’s great. It’s not too sweet, I hate sweet stuff.”
“Ah, but you used to have a sweet tooth!” Yunho regretted saying it cause Jaejoong’s face darkened a bit. “I’m sorry, of course you don’t like sweet stuff anymore, you’re not 18 anymore.” He chuckled nervously.
“That’s not it, I-“ He let out a sigh and put his fork on the plate. “I’m sorry, but I…” He tried to say it but the words were stuck in his throat.
“Something wrong Jaejoong? Was it something I said? I’m sorry if-“
And he let out his frustration by shouting at him, “You’ve done nothing wrong!! It’s nothing you said, stop staying sorry, cause I was- I-“
Yunho felt people’s stares and reached out to hold Jae’s hand that’s on the table. “If you want to talk or say something to me, then maybe we can talk somewhere else. Would that be fine with you?”
Jaejoong nodded and Yunho asked the waiter for their bill. It felt like forever until they both were out of the restaurant, away from the curious gaze of the patrons.
“Where you wanna go? Are you driving here?” Yunho asked him carefully while still holding his hand.
“Anywhere but here… No, I’m not driving, Yoochun dropped me off and asked me to call him whenever I’m leaving.”
“No need to call Yoochun anymore, I’ll get my driver to get you back home after we’re done talking.”
Jaejoong just nodded and a few minutes later they’re already inside a suite of a hotel room. Yunho said that if they’re going to have a talk, it’s impossible to have it at either of their places without having a risk of Moonbin or Jaejoong’s mother trying to eavesdrop. A public place is also a no no since the last news of Jaejoong’s fiasco in his office. Jaejoong had to agree with it but somehow being in a hotel room still with Yunho still made him nervous.
Yunho poured them some alcohol and they sat next to each other in the love seat of the room’s.
“Yunho, why did you forgive me after all I’ve done to you?” Was the Jaejoong’s first question to him.
“My son kept asking me if I still love you… and I realized that I never fell out of love with you.” Yunho saw the shock on the other man’s face. “There’s no use for me to keep denying my feelings… and everyone deserves a second chance.”
Jaejoong shook his head furiously. “But you don’t know me at all, you don’t know what I’ve been in the 15 years we didn’t see each other, I don’t deserve you, I don’t-“ The tears that he’d been holding back since his conversation with Changmin fell freely on his face. He lost his grip on the glass that he’s holding and the alcohol stained the carpet as he covered his face with his palms. He was too ashamed to face Yunho.
But Yunho pried his hands off his face. “Jae… I read everything about you… no matter how I tried to lock you up in memory, you kept coming back in my dreams. I need to know if you feel the same way too… but there’s no way it could happen unless you trust me like I trusted you.”
“You’ll hate me…” He choked on his tears.
“Jae, look at me.” He held his face in his hands. “I want you to tell me what you’ve been through… I won’t hate you… I just want to get to know you again.. I want to love you and I want you to love me back. But first, I want you to be honest with me. I’ve told you everything that I’ve been through, and I’m proud to be able to let you know. I want you to be proud of yourself, you’re a strong man to be able to be here with me. Please Jae… let me know you better.”
And Jaejoong told him everything that he’d been through… from the separation to the time when Moonbin was living with him… His longing for a family, his hatred for his parents, his failed marriage, his searching for Yunho... and all the time when he was talking Yunho didn’t let go of his hands even once that he found comfort in his embrace.
He didn’t know how long did he talk, he didn’t even dare to look into Yunho’s eyes, but he could feel his warmth around him. He could hear his heartbeats in his ear when he held him in his arms. When there were nothing to say anymore, he waited until Yunho said something.
And then he felt Yunho pulled him off of his embrace and cupped his face. “Thank you Jae… thank you for trusting me.”
The next thing he remembered was salty kisses of tears… it was gentle but soon it turned out to be something more passionate, unstoppable, neither man was trying to stop it as they stumbled on the king size bed.
Yunho pulled off first from the heated kiss and looked into his eyes with fire in his gaze. “Jae, does this mean that we’re back together?”
“Only if you want me to.”
“I want you. I always want you. Does this mean that you’re ready to be Moonbin’s father again?”
“I’ll learn… even if it takes a lifetime.”
And when they kissed again, it was full of the emotions that they’ve been hiding for, the desperation, the longing… everything was bared through the meeting of their lips.
As they both tried to get rid of their clothes, Jaejoong stopped Yunho’s right hand fingers that’s fumbling with the buttons. Jaejoong whispered seductively in his ear, “Yunho… let me.”
And Yunho’s hand dropped to his side as he watched Jaejoong opened his buttons one by one. All the while without taking his eyes off of Yunho’s. When the shirts were opened, he pulled him off the bed a little to lose his shirt, then he took off his own shirt. And then he started to do something that he’d been wanting to do. He caressed Yunho’s prosthesis with his fingers. “May I?”
When Yunho nodded, he took it off slowly and put it aside on the side table. He bent down and spread butterfly kisses all over what’s left of his arm.
Yunho was lost in awe of the sensuality in Jaejoong’s way in treating his scar and he moaned when Jaejoong licked it. Who knew that it would become a turn on for both of them. He reached out his right arm to stop Jaejoong’s ministrations on his arm and lifted his face, he wanted to see his eyes. He caressed Jaejoong’s lips with his fingers… down to jaw and felt him shivered under his touch. His fingers travelled down and stopped when he felt his nipple. And Jaejoong arched on his back as he flicked the bud with his thumb.
As they both set themselves free in the sexual pleasure, they were determined to make up for the 18 years they were away from each other. All the hurts and the pain, they let them all out in the open through the moans and the touches. No, they weren’t having sex, they were making love.
And when they both reached the peak of their emotions, they were shouting the words they’d been longing to say to and hear from each other. ‘I love you.’
* * * * *
Epilogue