Past, Present & Future, Chapter 14
Chapter 14: Turning over a new leaf.
Moonbin swept his gaze around the place that had been his sanctuary for almost 3 years. The place where he slept, he cried when he missed his father and uncle, where he was thinking about his life… He felt sad to leave the place, but a lot happier remembering that he’s going home to his real family again.
Living in this place wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. The maids respect him (though maybe out of fear to Jaejoong), the butler made him feel like home by letting him helping around the house, Yoochun-ahjussi helped him with the school’s affair and always went to parents’ meeting as his guardian, but mostly Kim Yun Ah Halmoeni made him feel like having his own grandmother.
They weren’t meant to bond in that moment but it happened naturally. He was crying in his bedroom on his first week, feeling guilty for leaving his father and missing him so bad that he couldn’t even eat the whole day. The dinner that was brought to his room was left untouched. And the old woman was watching him through the crack of his door. He yelled at her to go away and stop peeping on him. But she came in.
Moonbin never had a lot of interaction with women except Jihye, but oddly he could feel the motherly affection in Yun Ah. They quickly built a grandparent - grandchild relationship much to Jaejoong’s irritation. He saw how bad the relationship was between mother and son. Jaejoong never spoke to her in more than a few sentences and halmeoni seemed timid of him in every encounter. Though he knew it wasn’t right he was wise enough not to make any comment or throw any question. And since that night until today, Moonbin was grateful for the love that the woman has shared with him to make him belong in the household and lessen the rising longing towards his father.
He couldn’t sleep at all, the scene from Jaejoong-ahjussi’s study kept flashing in his mind. One of the medics that picked up Jaejoong spared some time to take a look at his head. Though it wasn’t bleeding, he put on some kind of a cooling sticker on it and asked him to go check out his head anyway at the hospital on the next day. But he couldn’t sleep at all, the excitement of going home despite Jaejoong being in the hospital made him giddy. Just how much had he changed? He saw his picture a lot in newspaper, he looked more handsome in his expensive attire, but Moonbin just wanted to be back to his Appa, not Jung Yunho the business man. His father always told him that nothing has changed through the phone; that he must be the one who changed a lot but Moonbin didn’t believe any of it. No one is more handsome or perfect than his father.
He frowned when he heard a soft knock on his bedroom door. It’s only 5am, everyone should be sleeping after all the commotion the master of the house caused. Yoochun-ahjussi must be staying at the hospital with Jaejoong-ahjussi too. He quickly opened it and saw Kim Yun Ah’s tired face.
“Halmeoni! You’re supposed to be sleeping, why are you here?” He whispered as he ushered the old woman inside and sat her on his bed, leaning on the bedpost.
“I’m sorry, Binnie-yah, I saw a light from under your door, so I guess you must be up.”
“No, don’t say you’re sorry, Halmoeni.” He sat beside her and rubbed her cold hands, “You must be tired, you should be asleep. Your hands are cold, let me make you some tea, ok?” He got up to go to the kitchen but Yun Ah pulled his hand.
“Don’t bother yourself, Binnie-yah… Don’t let this old woman trouble you.”
Moonbin smiled and gave an assuring squeezed on her hand, “It’s not a trouble at all Halmeoni. And if you’re going to talk, isn’t it better to make yourself warm with a cup of hot tea?” He quickly walked to the door. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
When he returned a few minutes later, Yun Ah was still awake. She smiled at him as he gave her a cup of hot tea. She sipped on it slowly, “I fell warmer, thank you Binnie-yah.” He sat himself next to her and she slipped a hand into his.
“What do you think of me, Binnie-yah?”
“You’ve been a great grandmother, halmeoni. I’ve always lived with my father so I didn’t know what it was like to have a mother. But since I got to live with you, I guess I kind of felt like having one.”
She smiled again faintly, “Thank you, dear. Don’t you think that I’m a bad mother? You never asked me anything about Jaejoong. I guess you’re not blind… you’re staying with us so long, yet you never said a thing. Am I bad mother, Moonbin?”
Moonbin hesitated to give any reply, “It’s not my place to judge you, halmeoni.”
Yun Ah took another sip from her cup before she put it on the bedside table.
“When I found out that I could never bear another child, my husband spoiled Jaejoong so much that I didn’t have many chances to discipline him. But as he grew up, my husband was obsessed to create the biggest business empire in the world and who else should succeed him but his one and only son? He blamed me for being barren so I didn’t want to disappoint him anymore and let him educate Jaejoong according to his way.
“And then he ran away with your- … Father. Again I was blamed by my husband for being a stupid mother who couldn’t even raise his son well. I didn’t stop thinking of him, I cried every night when I thought of him. But I had no power to go search for him, I was too weak as a mother. When my husband found him and brought him back home, I was so afraid to make another mistake and being blame for his actions, so I didn’t do anything when he started to beat him up in anger, accusing him of trying to humiliate the family. I saw his pleading look as he screamed in pain, but I was afraid Binnie, I was too afraid to be a hindrance my husband!” She started to shed some tears and Moonbin held her hand tighter.
I let my husband arranged a marriage for him even though I knew he wasn’t happy with it. Because I thought that was the best for him to forget his sinful way, to forget your father. But I was wrong. He was trapped inside a loveless marriage for so many years… and yet I still didn’t do anything for him. Even after my husband died, I was too afraid to get close to him, knowing how much he hated me for being a useless mother. He saw me as someone who sacrificed his happiness for my own security… and he might be right. I’m a terrible mother who never showed him my love the way that I should be.”
Moonbin caressed her hand. “But you showed me otherwise. Were you kind to me to redeem yourself from the guilt of not being able to do the same to Jaejoong-ahjussi?”
“Maybe that’s what it was… when I saw you crying by yourself calling for your father here, I remembered my little Jaejoongie who used to do the same whenever he felt under pressure doing what his father told him to. I thought that maybe this time I could console you instead, to show you that you’re not alone.”
“And you were doing a great job, Halmeoni. If not because of you I would’ve fainted for skipping meals all the time.” They laughed at the memory.
“But it’s too late with Jaejoong. Look what I’ve turned him into, a selfish and emotional person. I’m not worthy of his forgiveness anymore.” She cried softly.
“Halmeoni, there’s always a second chance if you want to try again. He needs you right now, he needs you as mother for him. He’s not that bad, you know.” Moonbin looked at the ceiling. “Though he always seemed like he didn’t care about me, he always asked Yoochun-ahjussi about how I did at school, reminded him to take me to my annual check-up and made sure that my needs are fulfilled. Though it was always Yoochun-ahjussi who did everything, he didn’t know that I overheard him in the study a few times. He should’ve been my father too, you know.
“He’s just frustrated cause my father didn’t reciprocate his feelings. But I know that deep inside Appa didn’t hate him. I don’t understand about love yet, but I couldn’t disregard the fact that my father has never seen anyone else ever since. Maybe it was because of me, but nothing should hold him back now. Don’t you think that he would get Jae-ahjussi arrested for stalking him by now if he hated him?” She chuckled.
“Halmeoni, I- I’m going back to my father.”
Yun Ah raised his face, “I know. I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, much. I’ll come visit you… or call you… and you can always call me too when you miss me. But this time, you can start over and show Jaejoong-ahjussi that you’re still his mother. The mother that he longed to have. Show him the love that you showed me, it’s never too late Halmeoni. Never be afraid to set things right. Cause I did too. I thought Appa wouldn’t accept me back after I left him, but I encouraged myself to apologize and things were going to back how it used to be… and now I’m going back to him. Maybe it’s nothing compared to what you had been through, but I’m sure it’s always the right time to do the right thing.”
Yun Ah glanced at him. “Are you sure you’re 17?”
“Almost 18.”
“You act like you’re 30.” They laughed together and then Yun Ah started to stroke his head, “Still hurts?”
“Nah… not anymore, just a bump.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry, it’s not your fault, okay. Hey, look, the sun started to rise. Come, Halmeoni, let’s welcome the sun from the balcony.” He got off the bed and pulled the old woman along with him.
They stood together hand in hand, watching the dark sky turned orange and brighter by the second.
“It’s beautiful… It’s a new day already…”
“Yeah… a new day, a new beginning.”
“Halmeoni… promise me that you’ll try to set things right with Jaejoong-ahjussi?”
“And you promise me to take care of your father and listen to everything he has to say?”
“I promise.”
“I promise too.”
“Let the past be the past, let’s use the present to create our new future.”
“That’s what a 30 year old would say.”
As the sun rise high in the sky, shines brightly to give new life on earth, two promises to start a new life were created. And two broken hearts have been mended.
* * * * *
Yoochun watched his bestfriend laying on the hospital bed… so pale, so weak, so out of life. He was staying with him all night since he got into the emergency room till he got his own. The doctor only said 3 things: depression, lack of sleep and too much alcohol. Just what had he done with his life? Being obsessed with someone who might not want him back in his life anymore. Though Jaejoong always looked like he’s doing whatever he wants and doesn’t care about what people think, he’s actually very self conscious about himself.
He’s always trying to prove himself and remove himself from his father’s shadow, from the image that his father had built for him, but sadly it’s not always in the a good way. He’s sick and tired of the image of a successful businessman, thus the reason he kept chasing on the love of the only person that matters to him. Jung Yunho. Even went as far as taking his son under his wing to show him that he’s worth of his love. But it only brought him suffering and heartache for the past 3 years.
Yoochun was against the idea of him using Moonbin to get Yunho’s attention. He went as far as telling him the truth about his origin. The fact that Yunho was never actually adopted him (meaning: there’s no attachment in their relationship) was also used to brainwash the boy into thinking that Yunho might leave him in the future when he’s back to his family’s business. He used the boy’s insecurities to built a doubt into the boy’s mind, and the fearful teen fell right into his trap, and so was Yunho. The only flaw in his scenario was that he didn’t know that what Yunho and Moonbin had was pure love, love that was built for years under so many unfortunate circumstances that made their bond stronger. In the end, Moonbin and Yunho patched things up though they still lived separately until now, for whatever reason - only the boy and his father knew.
Then he watched the bond that bloomed between the boy and his mother, the woman whom he longed to love him. It felt like rubbing salt unto his wounded heart. Everything he did was coming back to him in ways he least expected. Nothing went according to his plan. In the end, he was still lonely, loveless and he’s drowning himself in self pity and alcohol. Nothing that Yoochun said or did could heal him. Now he didn’t know what to do anymore once he wakes up.
He rubbed his sleepy eyes, he needed a strong coffee. He felt his mobile vibrated in pocket. It was Moonbin.
“Ahjussi… Are you at Jaejoong-ahjussi’s room? What’s the room number? I’m at the hospital with Halmeoni.”
Yoochun was a bit surprised to hear that Jaejoong’s mother also came along. “Room 505, VIP section. It’s not visiting time yet, they might not let you in though.”
“I think they would let us ‘cause Halmeoni is with me. We’re coming up.”
Three minutes later both of them entered the room. They both looked tired but there was also something else that he couldn’t decipher. Happiness? Relief?
The moment they entered Jaejoong’s mom went directly to his son’s bed. Though at first she seemed to afraid to touch his own son, Moonbin encouraged her by a nod and a smile and she caressed the man’s cheek that she hasn’t touched for many years.
“What happened to you, my son… Forgive me, forgive me for being a terrible mother for you…” She cried at his bedside. She kept touching his unconscious son while murmuring words of apology. Never in his friendship with Jaejoong he saw the old woman actually acted like a mother, but now he’s relieved that he got to live to see it happen.
Moonbin touched his arm, “Chun-ahjussi, can we talk?”
Yoochun nodded and brought him to the balcony of the VIP Room. “Why did you come?”
“Halmeoni couldn’t sleep because of Jae-ahjussi, she wanted to see him. How is he?”
He told the teenagers about Jaejoong’s condition and what caused it. The teen looked worried but Yoochun assured him that Jaejoong would be fine.
“Ahjussi… you heard what he told me yesterday, didn’t you? He- he told me to go home.” He took a deep breath, “And I want to go home to Appa. Today.”
Yoochun wasn’t surprised, he was kind of expected it but he still hoped a little that he would stay longer. “Aren’t you going to wait until Jaejoong wake up, at least? He was just- emotional yesterday.”
“I don’t think so. I’m afraid that he would get angry again when he sees me. Besides… Halmeoni will be watching over him. It’s about time that those two fix their relationship as a family again. If I stay, they won’t be able to do it. Jaejoong-ahjussi would always be reminded of Appa when he sees me, and seeing Halmeoni takes care of me would hurt him too. I- I don’t want that.”
Yoochun didn’t know how someone so young could be so considerate and thoughtful. “You know, I think Yunho had taught you well.” He ruffled the boy’s head. “Fine. But I’ll be the one who takes you to see your father, it’s only right. After all, I was the one who scouted you back then.” They smiled at the memory. “Let me guess, you got your stuff ready in the car?”
Moonbin smiled at him sheepishly. “I’m sorry, but I can’t wait to see Appa again. It would be my first summer with him after 3 years.”
“I understand.” After a few words they got back inside and Yoochun was calling the butler to find someone to stay with Jaejoong at the hospital when Yun Ah offered.
“Let me, Yoochun. I’ll stay with him for as long as I’m needed. Please… let me. I’m his mother after all.”
His only concern was only how Jaejoong’s going to react when he wakes up and sees his mother by his bedside. But he’s willing to take the chance for now. For Jaejoong’s sake.
“Thank you, Ma’am. I’m going to take Moonbin to his father, let me know if you need me. Excuse me for awhile, I need to make myself presentable to come to Jung Inc.”
As Yoochun cleaned up himself a little at the bathroom, Moonbin and Yun Ah also said their farewell words. They hugged each other and Yun Ah cried once again. And this time, it’s a cry of thanks for being given a second chance to be a mother again.”
* * * * *
Yunho woke up with a funny feeling. The kind of feeling that you get when you felt like something good would happen today. He’s so full of spirit and he kept humming while dressing himself to work. Today’s schedule is a bit tight as their firm was going to have a tender presentation for a government project.
After leaving Jaejoong in his office yesterday he went for a little walk in the park behind their office building to think. Of his feelings, his life and what he actually wants. When he was about to return inside he saw Yoochun was escorting Jaejoong inside his car and he looked terrible. That’s when he realized that he never hated that man. He was angry, yes, but that didn’t erase the longing inside him to comfort that man. But now’s not the time.
First, he would live his life as it was until Moonbin return to him. When that happens, he wanted to shape himself in a way that he won’t humiliate himself in front of Jaejoong. In his position right now, he’s in no place to stand next to that man as an equal partner. And maybe he could start to give a better treatment to him, yes… it could be a start. He still needs to know what Moonbin thought about it though, it’s not just about him.
He was preparing the material for his 3pm meeting when his assistant came into his room with a bewildered look.
“Sir, Park Yoochun-ssi is in the lounge, he- he wants to see you.”
He frowned as he couldn’t remember any appointment with Kim Corp. “I don’t have an appointment with him, do I?”
“Yes but…” she fidgeted with her fingers. “He said it’s urgent.”
“How urgent?”
“He’s not by himself, he’s coming with a young man who… claimed to be- errr- your son?”
He didn’t hide his surprise, “My so- Moonbin?” In a second he unconsciously dragged his feet to the lounge and there, sitting next to Yoochun, the person that he missed so much in these 3 years. “Bin!”
Moonbin lifted up his face and ran to hug his father. “Appa!”
If yesterday’s affair with Jaejoong brought some unwanted attention, the revelation that a teenager suddenly showed up and called him ‘Appa’ was even a bigger incident. People started standing a distance away from the lounge, but murmurs could be heard all around the room. Yunho didn’t care.
He pulled him off at arm’s length, “Gosh, is that your voice?”
“Appa, we talked on the phone! You knew my voice changed!”
“I know, but-“ he laughed out loud, “It’s not the same when I hear your voice like this with you in front of me! But other than your voice I don’t think you’re growing much taller.”
Moonbin scowled, “Is that all you can say to me after all these years?” They looked into each other and Yunho gathered him in his arms again.
“I missed you, baby. I missed you… I’m happy to see you again.”
“Me too, Appa. I’m coming home.”
Yunho pulled off abruptly, “What do you mean you’re coming home?”
Yoochun cleared his throat to get his attention. “Yunho-ssi, I think it’s best to continue the conversation in your room.”
Yunho just realized that they were in public place with so many eyes were watching and speculating what’s really going on. He didn’t miss the curious glance that people shot at Moonbin. So he quickly ushered them into his room.
A hundred questions were running through his head, but nothing more important now than to have his son in his arms again. To touch him, to hear his voice so close to him… He almost cry right there and then if not because of where they were.
When they were already seated in his room, Yoochun requested for a strong coffee and he gladly asked his assistant to bring some snacks too. Just then he realized that his son was sitting on his left side and didn’t stop touching his prosthesis.
“Who helped you with it when I wasn’t around?”
“I did it myself. I’m an expert now.”
Moonbin looked up to him with teary eyes. He smiled at him and said, “But tonight I’ll let you help me.
His baby laughed, and all is right again for Jung Yunho. His baby will be home.
* * * * *
Chapter 15