Past, Present & Future, Chapter 8
Title: Past, Present & Future
Author: trieze0713
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Junsu
Length: Chaptered
Genres: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
(Prologue) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7)
Chapter 8: Of Being a Parent & A Child
It’s at times like today that he wished he had more trust in other people around him.
It’s at times like today that he wished he had a different life… or that he shouldn’t have been born…
It’s at times like today that he knew that his life worth nothing for anyone in the end.
But it’s also at times like today that he’s expected to put up his best mask and to stand tall and proud despite the mess inside his heart... just when he felt like he’s losing his identity… he wished he could disappear.
“Young master, I really think we cannot wait any longer. The doctor just said that the respirator is basically useless, once you order to take it off then it’s the final. Don’t you think it’s cruel to the Master if you keep him hanging by a thread this way?” a soft voice of an old man broke him from his reverie.
He contemplated. “How long do I have? Max?”
The other party seemed to be deeply in thoughts. “To be honest, 3 days is the most. After that we’ll only put him into suffering. He may not be able to say anything right now, but you can see that he’s no longer responsive.”
“I haven’t seen him at all in the past two months, it’s you who kept updating me on his condition.”
“And that’s why it’s best if you would kindly see him now, young master Changmin. Those 3 days maybe all that you have and don’t you want to be able to at least… show him kindness and gratitude?”
Changmin snorted, “Kindness? Gratitude? Do you really believe that my existence worth that much in his eyes, Min Sook-ahjussi? Oh I forget, of course you were right! The fact that he even took me in was already something worth my gratitude! Thanks for reminding me!” He knew he sounded terribly bitter but that’s what he really felt.
“You know that wasn’t true. Master also considers you his own son, you should know that.” The old man replied calmly.
And suddenly Changmin was hit with a melancholy feeling. “No I don’t… I don’t… there’s hasn’t been anyone else for him but Yunho-hyung… I was- I was just a terrible replacement, someone who happened to be around to save his face and dignity in not having a heir to the kingdom that he had built penny by penny. It’s even a wonder that he let me slapped him in the face by using my mother’s name instead of his!” He chuckled. “Ironic.”
Anger and bitterness hung in the silence between the two men.
“Give me another 2 days… then I’ll bring Yunho-hyung home.” He finally said.
“Thank you young master Changmin. That would be great for the Master to be able to see his first Son once again before…”
No words needed. They both knew that it’s the end is nearing for the Master of the house.
“Ahjussi, tell me honestly… would he give me the same opportunity should Hyung never left?”
“…”
“You’re the only one beside Yunho-hyung who took care of me… you’re more like a father to me than him… tell me truth so I can accept my destiny more peacefully.”
The loneliness and desperation in voice shattered Min Sook’s heart into pieces. The young master that he loved so much like a son… how he wished things would turn out differently for the young man.
“Let’s just say that I still believe that he had another good thing in store for you other than being a young CEO with a great responsibility who had to keep his tough mask on even though he’s the most gentle at heart.” He voiced his opinion with all honesty.
For the first time in many days Changmin smiled sincerely. Opening himself up in that one smile… being the person that he really is in front of Min Sook. “Thank you Ahjussi, thank you… though this time you’re trying to make is sound not so bad for my sake, I’m still grateful for your honesty.”
He got up from his seat. He fixed his tie and suit before he looked up to Min Sook, posture and countenance returned the young master that the others knew. “Now, shall we go and see my father?”
Min Sook nodded and followed behind as Changmin walked in confident steps to the place where the man that he called father lied helplessly with a respirator, waiting for his final moment to arrive.
* * * * *
“Umma, I heard people saying that Appa has a mistress. Is that true? Is that what makes you sad?” The 9 year old asked his mother.
She laughed softly and pulled his hand and sat him beside her. “And do you even know what a mistress mean? Who told you?”
“It’s a woman that Appa is having a relationship with, other than you. People talked about it at school, their parents kinda talked about it.” He regretted to say those words after seeing his mother’s face turned gloomy. “I- I’m sorry if I asked you something bad, Umma! I’m sorry! Please don’t be sad!” He hugged her tightly.
His mother rubbed his back soothingly, “That’s okay, Yunnie is a big boy now… And it’s Umma that should say sorry that you have to go through something like this.” She pulled off and looked into his eyes. “It’s Umma’s fault that Umma cannot make your Appa happy but Yunnie is still Appa’s son. Umma and Appa love Yunnie, so nothing’s going to change.”
“But I don’t want Appa to be with somebody else but you!” He cried for his mother, he felt hurt for her.
Her mother’s eyes were teary as she kept stroking his head gently.
“What if Appa has another son? Will Appa leave us? Will he leave me?”
“No he won’t, Appa will always be Yunnie’s Appa. Yunnie should not hate Appa, promise me.”
“But-… but Yunnie will hate it if Appa has another son besides Yunnie if it’s not from Umma! I will kick him!”
“I never taught you to be violent, baby.” She smiled. “Look, even if your father in the end has another son, you should never hate him. Or if it’s a daughter, you should never hate her too. Never!”
“But why Umma? Why can’t I hate them? Their mother makes you sad!”
“You’re right, their mother does, but they don’t. They don’t understand anything… they are not at fault.”
He didn’t understand what his mother was saying so he looked at him with confusion.
“Children were born pure. They didn’t choose to be born but they do. Sometimes their birth was a mistake made by their parents, but they’re not mistakes. No child is a mistake, it’s the parents’ and they are always become the victim of the parents ’unfortunate affair. They’re always being blamed when it’s the parents who should reflect of the mistake they have made.” She turned and cupped his face.
“Remember this, baby. No child is a mistake. You are not a mistake and no other child will ever be a mistake. If one day your father ever has another child, be it a boy or a girl… they are not a mistake and you shouldn’t hate them. Love them like your own brother or sister for they were born pure like you were. Don’t take them as another mistake, love them just like I would love them like I love you.” And then she kissed his temple and took him in her warm embrace. Even now he could still feel the warmth of her body and the gentleness in her voice.
“So that’s why you could accept Min-ahjussi as your brother. Because what your- erm-… your- mother was saying.” He told him hesitantly.
He smiled at him, “Halmeoni, if she was alive I’m sure she would want you to call her Halmeoni.
“Halmeoni… wah, it’s a little bit strange Appa, since I never knew her at all.” He told him sheepishly.
Yunho was amused to see his son’s awkward smile. Just like he promised, he told him everything that he wanted to know.
The angioplasty was a success, after staying overnight at the hospital the doctors said that he’s stable and allowed to go home right away. Though he has to take some medicines twice a day, he still has to rest and keep his mind far from stress. And here he is, 2 days after being home, he kept his promise and had this ‘truth talks’ with Moonbin. From the look of it, he’s quite surprised that he took the story of how he got to live with him well, including the truth about Jaejoong, he hasn’t asked him anything yet about that guy though.
“Appa… was that also the reason that you… took me in …?”
“… maybe… it could be. I wasn’t thinking much at that time, but all I knew was that you were such a tiny creature and I fell in love with you the moment you cried in my arms. Even if the police called me after I brought you home, I doubt that I would give you up unless your real mother came and told me that she would love you like I loved you. Believe me, you’re not a mistake, I love you and nothing will ever change that.”
“Yeah… I know… I love you too. I can’t thank you enough for that.”
“You don’t need to. A child has nothing to thank his parents for, it’s only natural.” He could see that Moonbin actually felt emotional… just like himself. “Bin, we’re father and son. Nothing can ever change that.”
The boy looked up at him with a smile on his face. “Oh yeah, and it’s like the hundred time that you told me since morning.”
“You don’t like it?”
He beamed, “I don’t mind to hear it for another thousand times.”
Though they didn’t cuddle or hug each other this time like they always did, they understood how each other’s feeling. Yunho wanted to give his son some spaces to sort out his feelings in finding out his origins.
“Appa…” he called him out in a whisper.
“Hm?”
“If- If Jaejoong-ssi never left… I might have had two fathers by now?”
“Well…” he was struggling with words to convey what he wanted to say. “Like you said it… might be…”
“You never had the chance to explain the misunderstanding did you? Why didn’t you insist to tell him the truth at that time?”
He contemplated for a few seconds. “I guess I was hoping that he would believe in me and I could convince him to stay, and that he should be more understanding of the whole situation. Or maybe I just didn’t care that much since I had too much going on at a time. I thought he should’ve understood that you need more attention than he did, you were just a newborn and we’ were both old enough if not to say mature.”
“Did you hate him for leaving?”
“I did… but I realized after a long time that it wasn’t hate. It was disappointment… and regret… that our relationship wasn’t strong enough to make us trust each other completely.”
“Did he-… hate me? When I was a baby??
Yunho took a long look at his son who kept his gaze at the floor. It’s obvious that he still has a little insecurity deep inside him despite the hundred time he said that nothing’s going to change between them. “No, I didn’t think so. Like I told you, he’s not used to take care of children and being an only child… I guess a baby was just too much of a responsibility for him.”
Moonbin bobbed his head up and down, listening carefully before he decided to ask something else. “Appa, did you…” he seemed unsure of his own question.
“What? Say it… I did promise you that I will answer everything you want to know, so don’t worry yourself, you can ask me anything.”
He raised his head to look up into his father’s eyes, “Did you… ever regret…” He swallowed the big lump on his throat, “Did you ever regret for taking me in… and losing Jaejoong-ahjussi bec-… because of me?”
Yunho understood that words wouldn’t suffice this time. He didn’t say anything but he stood up and walked towards Moonbin. He didn’t sit next to him, he just stood in front of him without a word. The boy stared at him confusedly.
“Get up.”
Moonbin got up slowly and as soon as he stood in front of his father, he was embraced in those pair of strong arms. He felt a kiss on his temple and heard his father whispered on his ear, “I will sign the papers for your scholarship. I’ve thought about it, it’s all about your future and nothing about my past. You deserve it for your hardwork regardless who might be related to the foundation. Show them what you’re worth!”
Moonbin knew right there and then, come rain or shine, he has someone who would always stand by his side and love him sincerely. He should have nothing to fear and nothing to doubt. The one who’s holding him right now would do anything for him and he has shown just how much he’s loved.
Yunho hoped that the gesture would make him understand that even though sometimes he regretted the separation with the love of his life, his existence was nothing but joy brought into his life. Unending and endless happiness all through and through.
“Call Mr. Park. Tell him I’m ready to continue the discussion.”
The boy could only hold him tighter to return the gratefulness and the loved that was given to him by that single act.
* * * * *
He’d been living in another world since the day he woke up in the hotel room with a pounding headache and seeing his best friend sleeping soundly in the next room with his lover. He noticed that he wore different clothes than what he remembered he wore the night before.
He saw shreds of broken glasses near the living room. Yoochun must’ve cleaned it but didn’t get completely get rid of it. The smell of his clothes from last night made him flinched. Did he vomit? Just how many bottles did he down last night? Must be a lot.
He didn’t want to wake up Yoochun, but he didn’t want to stay longer in that place. He wrote a note and left it by his bedstand. Thanking him and Junsu for taking care of him. Then he headed out… He didn’t remember where his car was, he was sure that Yoochun was driving him last night. So he took a taxi and headed out to the only place that he wanted to be but despise at the same time. Home.
Much to his surprise, it was his mother instead of the butler who opened the door for him. He tried to read what she’s thinking through her eyes to no avail. It’s still the same vacant look that he always saw in her since his childhood. And he began to wonder whether his mother really had any emotion at all. Though she didn’t ask anything, he knew there’s an unsaid question at the tip of her tongue but he ignored it. He greeted her like usual and headed to his bedroom.
The moment he closed the door the only thing on his mind was a hot bath. He filled up the tub with hot water and laid down in it. Strangely, that’s when the memory from the day before started to re-play slowly in his mind.
He has overcome the shock in his stupor but everything still seemed a unreal for him. His thoughts were going back and forth between the past and the current times. The baby in the toilet… Jung Moonbin… the bubbly and hardworking Yunho… the prosthesis… life as rich heir… owner of a small department store… Nothing made sense for him but they’re exactly what he had witnessed.
The next few days afterwards were moving like a blur… he didn’t go to work but stayed at his bedroom. The maids brought him his food regularly but he hardly touched it. He didn’t even know whether his mother was home and wondering why he had confined himself this way. He turned off his mobile and refused to any visitor, including Yoochun’s. He didn’t know the difference between day and night, his room was a big mess and all he did during those times were laying down on the bed, staring into spaces, the sight of Yunho fell into darkness kept rewinding inside his head that he thought he’s turning crazy.
It’s just one of those days when he heard a faint knock on his bedroom door. He ignored it like he always did. But the knock turned into pounding. He shouted for whoever it was to leave him alone. Then the pounding stopped.
What he heard then made him jumped off his bed and ran to the door, opening it like his life depended on it.
“You say what?” His hand trembled while holding the door handle. Yoochun was standing in front of him with wide eyes. His mother with the same blank look a few feet away behind him next to the butler.
“My goodness, what have you done to yourself!”
He pretended he didn’t hear it. What. Did. You. Just. Say.” He emphasized each word with impatience.
Yoochun looked at him straight in the eye, “Jung Moonbin called me. He said his father is ready to continue the discussion on the scholarship.”
He stood speechless at the news and everyone seemed to be holding their breath, waiting for his answer. And even if his mother and the butler didn’t even know who Jung Moonbin was and what’s scholarship they were talking about, they were curious as to how he’s going to react to what Mr. Park said after countless of fruitless effort to get him to talk or out of there.
The silence that stretched in that one minute was deafening for Yoochun. But relief washed over him once Jaejoong opened his mouth.
“Wait downstairs. I need 20 minutes to get ready. We’re heading to the office.”
And the door closed before his eyes once again but he started to breathe again.
When he turned around he was met with a curious gaze from the Lady of the house. He knew he had no right to answer whatever question she might ask him. So he nodded stiffly at her and told the butler that he would wait in the guest room downstair.
'Damn you Kim Jaejoong, you never fail to shortened my life in every action.’
* * * * *
He’s anxious… and full of expectation… He just spoke to Park Yoochun-ssi to make an appointment for his father but somehow he felt like it’s not going to be something that he would be happy about.
He may seem calm and acceptable with all that he had heard from his father… Oddly, he didn’t feel the least bit curious about his biological parents. Hell, his mother could leave the newborn him in a toilet! What’s the use in expecting to find them or even to be found? He was nothing to them and somehow he’s thankful that the misfortune had brought him to Jung Yunho.
But somehow he couldn’t shake off the funny feeling inside him when he thought about Kim Jaejoong. The possibility that he might have had two fathers instead of one and then seeing the other party in real life was just… Arrrgh! He just couldn’t find the right words for it.
Though he always suspected that his father was actually coming from a well off family - looking at his posh uncle, it’s still a big surprise knowing about his and Jaejoong-ssi’s background as he always heard about both companies their family owned. He’s not even Korean if he never heard of Jung Inc. & Kim Corp.! He’d looked up in the internet about Kim Jaejoong but couldn’t find out more about his father other then ‘left the house at the age of 18’. The pictures of his father they when he was young captivated him. He looked so lively… so full of vigor… something that he doesn’t see today anymore.
Would his father ever return to his family? What would happen to him if he ever do? Would he get back with Jaejoong-ssi as couples once again? That guy left his father because of him, would he abandoned him again? Does his father still love him? Missing him? Or would he get the opportunity to finally have a better life together with his father and his uncle… one big happy family. And maybe his father’s father? The great Jung Hye Jin who hadn’t showed up in any news lately. Would he accept him as a grandson?
He had a headache from thinking about all possibilities of what his life might be… and he anxiously waiting for the phone call from Park Yoochun-ssi to inform him the appointment time. He hoped he would call soon. Then maybe he could get rid of the disturbing thoughts on his mind. He just had to believe that his father will always do the best for him. He always had.
* * * * *
Chapter 9
I have to admit that the story goes slower than intended, but it's a little bit hard for me to speed it up without revealing the past and the truth little by little. Please be patient. After this chapter hopefully things will pick up speed and start to get more interesting. Thank you for still reading... :)
Author: trieze0713
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Yoochun/Junsu
Length: Chaptered
Genres: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Rating: PG
(Prologue) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7)
Chapter 8: Of Being a Parent & A Child
It’s at times like today that he wished he had more trust in other people around him.
It’s at times like today that he wished he had a different life… or that he shouldn’t have been born…
It’s at times like today that he knew that his life worth nothing for anyone in the end.
But it’s also at times like today that he’s expected to put up his best mask and to stand tall and proud despite the mess inside his heart... just when he felt like he’s losing his identity… he wished he could disappear.
“Young master, I really think we cannot wait any longer. The doctor just said that the respirator is basically useless, once you order to take it off then it’s the final. Don’t you think it’s cruel to the Master if you keep him hanging by a thread this way?” a soft voice of an old man broke him from his reverie.
He contemplated. “How long do I have? Max?”
The other party seemed to be deeply in thoughts. “To be honest, 3 days is the most. After that we’ll only put him into suffering. He may not be able to say anything right now, but you can see that he’s no longer responsive.”
“I haven’t seen him at all in the past two months, it’s you who kept updating me on his condition.”
“And that’s why it’s best if you would kindly see him now, young master Changmin. Those 3 days maybe all that you have and don’t you want to be able to at least… show him kindness and gratitude?”
Changmin snorted, “Kindness? Gratitude? Do you really believe that my existence worth that much in his eyes, Min Sook-ahjussi? Oh I forget, of course you were right! The fact that he even took me in was already something worth my gratitude! Thanks for reminding me!” He knew he sounded terribly bitter but that’s what he really felt.
“You know that wasn’t true. Master also considers you his own son, you should know that.” The old man replied calmly.
And suddenly Changmin was hit with a melancholy feeling. “No I don’t… I don’t… there’s hasn’t been anyone else for him but Yunho-hyung… I was- I was just a terrible replacement, someone who happened to be around to save his face and dignity in not having a heir to the kingdom that he had built penny by penny. It’s even a wonder that he let me slapped him in the face by using my mother’s name instead of his!” He chuckled. “Ironic.”
Anger and bitterness hung in the silence between the two men.
“Give me another 2 days… then I’ll bring Yunho-hyung home.” He finally said.
“Thank you young master Changmin. That would be great for the Master to be able to see his first Son once again before…”
No words needed. They both knew that it’s the end is nearing for the Master of the house.
“Ahjussi, tell me honestly… would he give me the same opportunity should Hyung never left?”
“…”
“You’re the only one beside Yunho-hyung who took care of me… you’re more like a father to me than him… tell me truth so I can accept my destiny more peacefully.”
The loneliness and desperation in voice shattered Min Sook’s heart into pieces. The young master that he loved so much like a son… how he wished things would turn out differently for the young man.
“Let’s just say that I still believe that he had another good thing in store for you other than being a young CEO with a great responsibility who had to keep his tough mask on even though he’s the most gentle at heart.” He voiced his opinion with all honesty.
For the first time in many days Changmin smiled sincerely. Opening himself up in that one smile… being the person that he really is in front of Min Sook. “Thank you Ahjussi, thank you… though this time you’re trying to make is sound not so bad for my sake, I’m still grateful for your honesty.”
He got up from his seat. He fixed his tie and suit before he looked up to Min Sook, posture and countenance returned the young master that the others knew. “Now, shall we go and see my father?”
Min Sook nodded and followed behind as Changmin walked in confident steps to the place where the man that he called father lied helplessly with a respirator, waiting for his final moment to arrive.
* * * * *
“Umma, I heard people saying that Appa has a mistress. Is that true? Is that what makes you sad?” The 9 year old asked his mother.
She laughed softly and pulled his hand and sat him beside her. “And do you even know what a mistress mean? Who told you?”
“It’s a woman that Appa is having a relationship with, other than you. People talked about it at school, their parents kinda talked about it.” He regretted to say those words after seeing his mother’s face turned gloomy. “I- I’m sorry if I asked you something bad, Umma! I’m sorry! Please don’t be sad!” He hugged her tightly.
His mother rubbed his back soothingly, “That’s okay, Yunnie is a big boy now… And it’s Umma that should say sorry that you have to go through something like this.” She pulled off and looked into his eyes. “It’s Umma’s fault that Umma cannot make your Appa happy but Yunnie is still Appa’s son. Umma and Appa love Yunnie, so nothing’s going to change.”
“But I don’t want Appa to be with somebody else but you!” He cried for his mother, he felt hurt for her.
Her mother’s eyes were teary as she kept stroking his head gently.
“What if Appa has another son? Will Appa leave us? Will he leave me?”
“No he won’t, Appa will always be Yunnie’s Appa. Yunnie should not hate Appa, promise me.”
“But-… but Yunnie will hate it if Appa has another son besides Yunnie if it’s not from Umma! I will kick him!”
“I never taught you to be violent, baby.” She smiled. “Look, even if your father in the end has another son, you should never hate him. Or if it’s a daughter, you should never hate her too. Never!”
“But why Umma? Why can’t I hate them? Their mother makes you sad!”
“You’re right, their mother does, but they don’t. They don’t understand anything… they are not at fault.”
He didn’t understand what his mother was saying so he looked at him with confusion.
“Children were born pure. They didn’t choose to be born but they do. Sometimes their birth was a mistake made by their parents, but they’re not mistakes. No child is a mistake, it’s the parents’ and they are always become the victim of the parents ’unfortunate affair. They’re always being blamed when it’s the parents who should reflect of the mistake they have made.” She turned and cupped his face.
“Remember this, baby. No child is a mistake. You are not a mistake and no other child will ever be a mistake. If one day your father ever has another child, be it a boy or a girl… they are not a mistake and you shouldn’t hate them. Love them like your own brother or sister for they were born pure like you were. Don’t take them as another mistake, love them just like I would love them like I love you.” And then she kissed his temple and took him in her warm embrace. Even now he could still feel the warmth of her body and the gentleness in her voice.
“So that’s why you could accept Min-ahjussi as your brother. Because what your- erm-… your- mother was saying.” He told him hesitantly.
He smiled at him, “Halmeoni, if she was alive I’m sure she would want you to call her Halmeoni.
“Halmeoni… wah, it’s a little bit strange Appa, since I never knew her at all.” He told him sheepishly.
Yunho was amused to see his son’s awkward smile. Just like he promised, he told him everything that he wanted to know.
The angioplasty was a success, after staying overnight at the hospital the doctors said that he’s stable and allowed to go home right away. Though he has to take some medicines twice a day, he still has to rest and keep his mind far from stress. And here he is, 2 days after being home, he kept his promise and had this ‘truth talks’ with Moonbin. From the look of it, he’s quite surprised that he took the story of how he got to live with him well, including the truth about Jaejoong, he hasn’t asked him anything yet about that guy though.
“Appa… was that also the reason that you… took me in …?”
“… maybe… it could be. I wasn’t thinking much at that time, but all I knew was that you were such a tiny creature and I fell in love with you the moment you cried in my arms. Even if the police called me after I brought you home, I doubt that I would give you up unless your real mother came and told me that she would love you like I loved you. Believe me, you’re not a mistake, I love you and nothing will ever change that.”
“Yeah… I know… I love you too. I can’t thank you enough for that.”
“You don’t need to. A child has nothing to thank his parents for, it’s only natural.” He could see that Moonbin actually felt emotional… just like himself. “Bin, we’re father and son. Nothing can ever change that.”
The boy looked up at him with a smile on his face. “Oh yeah, and it’s like the hundred time that you told me since morning.”
“You don’t like it?”
He beamed, “I don’t mind to hear it for another thousand times.”
Though they didn’t cuddle or hug each other this time like they always did, they understood how each other’s feeling. Yunho wanted to give his son some spaces to sort out his feelings in finding out his origins.
“Appa…” he called him out in a whisper.
“Hm?”
“If- If Jaejoong-ssi never left… I might have had two fathers by now?”
“Well…” he was struggling with words to convey what he wanted to say. “Like you said it… might be…”
“You never had the chance to explain the misunderstanding did you? Why didn’t you insist to tell him the truth at that time?”
He contemplated for a few seconds. “I guess I was hoping that he would believe in me and I could convince him to stay, and that he should be more understanding of the whole situation. Or maybe I just didn’t care that much since I had too much going on at a time. I thought he should’ve understood that you need more attention than he did, you were just a newborn and we’ were both old enough if not to say mature.”
“Did you hate him for leaving?”
“I did… but I realized after a long time that it wasn’t hate. It was disappointment… and regret… that our relationship wasn’t strong enough to make us trust each other completely.”
“Did he-… hate me? When I was a baby??
Yunho took a long look at his son who kept his gaze at the floor. It’s obvious that he still has a little insecurity deep inside him despite the hundred time he said that nothing’s going to change between them. “No, I didn’t think so. Like I told you, he’s not used to take care of children and being an only child… I guess a baby was just too much of a responsibility for him.”
Moonbin bobbed his head up and down, listening carefully before he decided to ask something else. “Appa, did you…” he seemed unsure of his own question.
“What? Say it… I did promise you that I will answer everything you want to know, so don’t worry yourself, you can ask me anything.”
He raised his head to look up into his father’s eyes, “Did you… ever regret…” He swallowed the big lump on his throat, “Did you ever regret for taking me in… and losing Jaejoong-ahjussi bec-… because of me?”
Yunho understood that words wouldn’t suffice this time. He didn’t say anything but he stood up and walked towards Moonbin. He didn’t sit next to him, he just stood in front of him without a word. The boy stared at him confusedly.
“Get up.”
Moonbin got up slowly and as soon as he stood in front of his father, he was embraced in those pair of strong arms. He felt a kiss on his temple and heard his father whispered on his ear, “I will sign the papers for your scholarship. I’ve thought about it, it’s all about your future and nothing about my past. You deserve it for your hardwork regardless who might be related to the foundation. Show them what you’re worth!”
Moonbin knew right there and then, come rain or shine, he has someone who would always stand by his side and love him sincerely. He should have nothing to fear and nothing to doubt. The one who’s holding him right now would do anything for him and he has shown just how much he’s loved.
Yunho hoped that the gesture would make him understand that even though sometimes he regretted the separation with the love of his life, his existence was nothing but joy brought into his life. Unending and endless happiness all through and through.
“Call Mr. Park. Tell him I’m ready to continue the discussion.”
The boy could only hold him tighter to return the gratefulness and the loved that was given to him by that single act.
* * * * *
He’d been living in another world since the day he woke up in the hotel room with a pounding headache and seeing his best friend sleeping soundly in the next room with his lover. He noticed that he wore different clothes than what he remembered he wore the night before.
He saw shreds of broken glasses near the living room. Yoochun must’ve cleaned it but didn’t get completely get rid of it. The smell of his clothes from last night made him flinched. Did he vomit? Just how many bottles did he down last night? Must be a lot.
He didn’t want to wake up Yoochun, but he didn’t want to stay longer in that place. He wrote a note and left it by his bedstand. Thanking him and Junsu for taking care of him. Then he headed out… He didn’t remember where his car was, he was sure that Yoochun was driving him last night. So he took a taxi and headed out to the only place that he wanted to be but despise at the same time. Home.
Much to his surprise, it was his mother instead of the butler who opened the door for him. He tried to read what she’s thinking through her eyes to no avail. It’s still the same vacant look that he always saw in her since his childhood. And he began to wonder whether his mother really had any emotion at all. Though she didn’t ask anything, he knew there’s an unsaid question at the tip of her tongue but he ignored it. He greeted her like usual and headed to his bedroom.
The moment he closed the door the only thing on his mind was a hot bath. He filled up the tub with hot water and laid down in it. Strangely, that’s when the memory from the day before started to re-play slowly in his mind.
He has overcome the shock in his stupor but everything still seemed a unreal for him. His thoughts were going back and forth between the past and the current times. The baby in the toilet… Jung Moonbin… the bubbly and hardworking Yunho… the prosthesis… life as rich heir… owner of a small department store… Nothing made sense for him but they’re exactly what he had witnessed.
The next few days afterwards were moving like a blur… he didn’t go to work but stayed at his bedroom. The maids brought him his food regularly but he hardly touched it. He didn’t even know whether his mother was home and wondering why he had confined himself this way. He turned off his mobile and refused to any visitor, including Yoochun’s. He didn’t know the difference between day and night, his room was a big mess and all he did during those times were laying down on the bed, staring into spaces, the sight of Yunho fell into darkness kept rewinding inside his head that he thought he’s turning crazy.
It’s just one of those days when he heard a faint knock on his bedroom door. He ignored it like he always did. But the knock turned into pounding. He shouted for whoever it was to leave him alone. Then the pounding stopped.
What he heard then made him jumped off his bed and ran to the door, opening it like his life depended on it.
“You say what?” His hand trembled while holding the door handle. Yoochun was standing in front of him with wide eyes. His mother with the same blank look a few feet away behind him next to the butler.
“My goodness, what have you done to yourself!”
He pretended he didn’t hear it. What. Did. You. Just. Say.” He emphasized each word with impatience.
Yoochun looked at him straight in the eye, “Jung Moonbin called me. He said his father is ready to continue the discussion on the scholarship.”
He stood speechless at the news and everyone seemed to be holding their breath, waiting for his answer. And even if his mother and the butler didn’t even know who Jung Moonbin was and what’s scholarship they were talking about, they were curious as to how he’s going to react to what Mr. Park said after countless of fruitless effort to get him to talk or out of there.
The silence that stretched in that one minute was deafening for Yoochun. But relief washed over him once Jaejoong opened his mouth.
“Wait downstairs. I need 20 minutes to get ready. We’re heading to the office.”
And the door closed before his eyes once again but he started to breathe again.
When he turned around he was met with a curious gaze from the Lady of the house. He knew he had no right to answer whatever question she might ask him. So he nodded stiffly at her and told the butler that he would wait in the guest room downstair.
'Damn you Kim Jaejoong, you never fail to shortened my life in every action.’
* * * * *
He’s anxious… and full of expectation… He just spoke to Park Yoochun-ssi to make an appointment for his father but somehow he felt like it’s not going to be something that he would be happy about.
He may seem calm and acceptable with all that he had heard from his father… Oddly, he didn’t feel the least bit curious about his biological parents. Hell, his mother could leave the newborn him in a toilet! What’s the use in expecting to find them or even to be found? He was nothing to them and somehow he’s thankful that the misfortune had brought him to Jung Yunho.
But somehow he couldn’t shake off the funny feeling inside him when he thought about Kim Jaejoong. The possibility that he might have had two fathers instead of one and then seeing the other party in real life was just… Arrrgh! He just couldn’t find the right words for it.
Though he always suspected that his father was actually coming from a well off family - looking at his posh uncle, it’s still a big surprise knowing about his and Jaejoong-ssi’s background as he always heard about both companies their family owned. He’s not even Korean if he never heard of Jung Inc. & Kim Corp.! He’d looked up in the internet about Kim Jaejoong but couldn’t find out more about his father other then ‘left the house at the age of 18’. The pictures of his father they when he was young captivated him. He looked so lively… so full of vigor… something that he doesn’t see today anymore.
Would his father ever return to his family? What would happen to him if he ever do? Would he get back with Jaejoong-ssi as couples once again? That guy left his father because of him, would he abandoned him again? Does his father still love him? Missing him? Or would he get the opportunity to finally have a better life together with his father and his uncle… one big happy family. And maybe his father’s father? The great Jung Hye Jin who hadn’t showed up in any news lately. Would he accept him as a grandson?
He had a headache from thinking about all possibilities of what his life might be… and he anxiously waiting for the phone call from Park Yoochun-ssi to inform him the appointment time. He hoped he would call soon. Then maybe he could get rid of the disturbing thoughts on his mind. He just had to believe that his father will always do the best for him. He always had.
* * * * *
Chapter 9
I have to admit that the story goes slower than intended, but it's a little bit hard for me to speed it up without revealing the past and the truth little by little. Please be patient. After this chapter hopefully things will pick up speed and start to get more interesting. Thank you for still reading... :)