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For the first time in 4 years I felt like dying... Its been a long time since that feeling has overcome me... but today I couldnt stop it. I dont know whats wrong with me.. the depressions to much for me today. I cried on a fucking loading dock at school. I havnt cried since last september... funny it being over the same person around the same time. Maybe this is an annual thing. I messed up some, not as much as its being made out, but some, and am now hated for it. I know im not perfect. I know I mess up. But I can understand how what I did was taken so far, that I lose a friend in 5 minutes, that I have been friends with for nearly 4 years. It really sucks. and Im sorry for it, but I dont know what to do.