Matsurai angst ---Aiba also involved. Oneshot 2 of 4
Title: Numb
Author: yours truly. <3
Pairing: Matsurai, SakurAiba
Rating: R or soft NC-17
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I own not a dime, even.
Summary: Sho is devastated.
Notes: Hope you like it freedomthisway. Although, it's not what you had asked for. ^//^ (Inspired by Portishead's song --Numb.) I could always write another one with your prompt later on. omg. IT'S MUCH MORE ANGSTY THAN PLANNED. -dead-
Numb
Sho, tears sliding down his face, sits in the corner of his shower. He feels sick to his stomach with regret and sorrow, and he tries drowning them out with the water that's just hot enough to burn, but not enough to scald the pain away. He wished he could melt into the water, slipping down the drain along with the droplets that scrape the heat from inside his skin.
His dress shirt is ruined, drenched in water and tears. His pants begin to lose their coloring and shape; the warmth of the shower gently washing it away. He undoes his belt, throwing it outside of the shower, and it chimes against the hardwood floor in the next room. He kicks the sides of his bathtub, wishing he could break it, hoping he could break anything.
It stings, cutting him from the inside out, puling his nerves and muscles in all the wrong directions. His heart beating backwards, almost, as he wishes he could hurt something enough to make these feelings fade.
There's a knock at his door. He ignores it, praying that they'll just leave him alone. Trembling hands grasp the shower door, closing it with what little energy he has left. He's still, hands covering his face helplessly. He wonders why such things would ever happen to him, why he deserved to be treated so harshly.
Aiba finally slams through the door, worried Sho may have hurt himself physically. He walks around the apartment, frantic, eyes filled with as much tears as Sho's.
"Sho!" His voice is desperate and discouraged. He tries calling out again but his voice cracks, incapable of speaking with his throat dry from worrying.
"Sho, where are you?! Answer me!"
Aiba rushes into the bathroom, seeing the contours of Sho behind the stained glass. Pushing the door aside, he picks up what's left of Sho, carrying him to the living room. He feels shallow breaths against his back, along with tears falling onto his shoulder.
"Sho, I never meant for this to happen. Just tell me what he did."
With a muffled voice, tormented words fell from his mouth, Sho couldn't be bothered to answer that question just yet.
"I feel so numb Aiba." He whispered it, wrapping his arms lovingly around Aiba. He fell asleep in that position; between Aiba's legs, loosely wrapped around his neck, tears still falling as he slumbers.
~~~
The next day wasn't much better.
Aiba had stayed the entire night, watching over his close friend, not sleeping for anything in the world. He had to be there for him, it was his fault, after all. He only wished he could find out what Jun had done to Sho.
Aiba kissed Sho's forehead, hoping to wake him. Sho stretches out his arms, whimpering in his sleep. He scrubs his eyes, wiping the sleep away, remembering last night like it was a horrible nightmare.
"Aiba. I'm ready to tell you now."
He pulls the younger man closer, leaning his head drearily on his shoulder.
~~~
Jun had phoned Sho at about 8pm. He spoke with Aiba about his plans earlier; Sho had a huge crush on Jun and really wanted to spend some personal time with him. But Aiba was the one dating Sho, so Sho didn't want to cheat on his boyfriend just for a fling.
Aiba insisted that Jun take care of Sho for one night, letting him fulfill his fantasies once and for all. Jun accepted, Aiba being his good friend, and he always wanted to see what Sho sounded like in the privacy of a bedroom.
Sho answered the call; Jun pretended to have experienced some kind of heartbreak and invited Sho over to console him. He almost flew over to Jun's house, always ready to help out a friend in need.
Jun opened the door, pulling Sho in seductively, clothed in nothing but a satin robe. He smashed their lips together, teasing Sho's tongue with his own, quickly pressing a hand deep inside of his tight pants.
"These won't do."
Jun coyly pulled them down, ripping apart the seams as he did so. He grabbed at the throbbing member he knew would be impatiently waiting for him. All the while, Sho couldn't understand what this had to do with his heart being broken. Fed up of the games, he pushed Jun away gently, preparing to ask a few questions.
"Why am I really here?"
"Don't you realize yet? Aiba knows you have a crush on me, this is your present from him."
Sho, mystified in more ways than one, couldn't grasp the meaning of that. His boyfriend wanted him to fuck his friend, so he could be happy? It seemed like nonsense. Sho didn't want to go through with something so petty and disgusting. He pulled his pants back up, brushing off the wrinkles in his shirt.
"No, you're not going anywhere."
"This is nonsensical. I don't encourage one night stands and I won't participate in one. I have a boyfriend."
"Are you saying you don't want this?" Jun crept closer, hand traveling to Sho's hidden parts.
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I have someone I love. A crush is simply a crush, it doesn't mean I want to do anything about it." Sho swatted Jun's hands away.
"That's not what I feel down there."
Jun pinned Sho to the door, his arms above his head, unmoving. Sho's eyebrows creased, he glared at Jun, hating every moment of this game.
"Jun, stop! Stop now!" Sho protested, anger building up in the pit of his stomach. His loins weren't listening to him though, his arousal still growing through the rage he was beginning to feel.
Jun ignored him, licking his palm and continuing where he left off earlier. He pulled at the length between Sho's legs. He wouldn't moan, he couldn't. He was steaming inside, he was burning up with hate.
Jun ignored these signs, thinking it would pass eventually. He continued jerking Sho's hardening member; panting sensually every so often in his ear. He stopped, still holding Sho against the door, spreading Sho's legs with his free hand.
"I know you like this Sho. Don't deny it." And, embarrassed, he did.
He whimpered; guilt pulling at his insides, tearing him limb from limb. He couldn't resist Jun, but he loved Aiba so dearly and he knew this would cause friction between them somehow.
Jun sucked on his middle finger, staring intently at Sho, sliding it with little warning inside of Sho's opening. "Ahh." It hurt so deliciously, he couldn't help but push down on the finger himself. Jun's grin grew, knowing Sho was finally coming around.
After a few moments of sliding it in and out, he pushed another finger in up to his joints. Sho could swear he felt something scratching him, but it felt so hot and he was so close to heaven that he ignored the minor discomfort. (Jun had left his rings on, set on being his sadistic self as always.)
Jun, already hard from watching Sho squirm under him with delight, lubricated himself with a bit of lube he had placed in his robe pocket. By this time, there was no turning back for either of them. Sho still unsure of what he was experiencing, didn't want to go along with it.
But, Jun; hard and impatient, entered Sho aggressively, impaling him repeatedly. He didn't once kiss Sho, this was just sex, nothing more. He held his wrists tightly, slamming Sho down a bit harder on his cock every other time. Sho moaned loudly, but quickly wished he hadn't.
Aiba was his lover. Aiba.
But Jun, Oh Jun. Jun felt so good inside of him and he looked so experienced. He was kind of like a high paid prostitute in Sho's eyes, and that was why Sho never made a move earlier. He knew Jun would do anyone with the slightest attraction to him, he loved himself like that.
They both came; Jun squeezing at Sho's wrists and Sho rubbing languidly at his arousal. Instantly, Jun let go of Sho, tying his robe and heading towards his shower. Sho didn't know how to react. Did this mean they were closer? Did this mean he should break up with Aiba and continue with Jun?
It was all too confusing for one night.
The water dripped in the shower, Jun fixing the temperature just right.
"Let yourself out. Aiba gave me money, but I don't want it. You keep it, you deserved it."
And just like that, it was all too clear. Sho had become the slut. Some useless whore Jun and Aiba could pass around as they pleased. He got dressed rapidly, storming out of that forsaken apartment and back to his own.
It would never be the same between Jun and Sho. He cut all ties with him soon after that night. He broke up with Aiba as soon as he finished telling the story. The hurt they had both caused could never be erased, and seeing them just brought it back.
It was over.
//End//
~Later
Author: yours truly. <3
Pairing: Matsurai, SakurAiba
Rating: R or soft NC-17
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I own not a dime, even.
Summary: Sho is devastated.
Notes: Hope you like it freedomthisway. Although, it's not what you had asked for. ^//^ (Inspired by Portishead's song --Numb.) I could always write another one with your prompt later on. omg. IT'S MUCH MORE ANGSTY THAN PLANNED. -dead-
Numb
Sho, tears sliding down his face, sits in the corner of his shower. He feels sick to his stomach with regret and sorrow, and he tries drowning them out with the water that's just hot enough to burn, but not enough to scald the pain away. He wished he could melt into the water, slipping down the drain along with the droplets that scrape the heat from inside his skin.
His dress shirt is ruined, drenched in water and tears. His pants begin to lose their coloring and shape; the warmth of the shower gently washing it away. He undoes his belt, throwing it outside of the shower, and it chimes against the hardwood floor in the next room. He kicks the sides of his bathtub, wishing he could break it, hoping he could break anything.
It stings, cutting him from the inside out, puling his nerves and muscles in all the wrong directions. His heart beating backwards, almost, as he wishes he could hurt something enough to make these feelings fade.
There's a knock at his door. He ignores it, praying that they'll just leave him alone. Trembling hands grasp the shower door, closing it with what little energy he has left. He's still, hands covering his face helplessly. He wonders why such things would ever happen to him, why he deserved to be treated so harshly.
Aiba finally slams through the door, worried Sho may have hurt himself physically. He walks around the apartment, frantic, eyes filled with as much tears as Sho's.
"Sho!" His voice is desperate and discouraged. He tries calling out again but his voice cracks, incapable of speaking with his throat dry from worrying.
"Sho, where are you?! Answer me!"
Aiba rushes into the bathroom, seeing the contours of Sho behind the stained glass. Pushing the door aside, he picks up what's left of Sho, carrying him to the living room. He feels shallow breaths against his back, along with tears falling onto his shoulder.
"Sho, I never meant for this to happen. Just tell me what he did."
With a muffled voice, tormented words fell from his mouth, Sho couldn't be bothered to answer that question just yet.
"I feel so numb Aiba." He whispered it, wrapping his arms lovingly around Aiba. He fell asleep in that position; between Aiba's legs, loosely wrapped around his neck, tears still falling as he slumbers.
~~~
The next day wasn't much better.
Aiba had stayed the entire night, watching over his close friend, not sleeping for anything in the world. He had to be there for him, it was his fault, after all. He only wished he could find out what Jun had done to Sho.
Aiba kissed Sho's forehead, hoping to wake him. Sho stretches out his arms, whimpering in his sleep. He scrubs his eyes, wiping the sleep away, remembering last night like it was a horrible nightmare.
"Aiba. I'm ready to tell you now."
He pulls the younger man closer, leaning his head drearily on his shoulder.
~~~
Jun had phoned Sho at about 8pm. He spoke with Aiba about his plans earlier; Sho had a huge crush on Jun and really wanted to spend some personal time with him. But Aiba was the one dating Sho, so Sho didn't want to cheat on his boyfriend just for a fling.
Aiba insisted that Jun take care of Sho for one night, letting him fulfill his fantasies once and for all. Jun accepted, Aiba being his good friend, and he always wanted to see what Sho sounded like in the privacy of a bedroom.
Sho answered the call; Jun pretended to have experienced some kind of heartbreak and invited Sho over to console him. He almost flew over to Jun's house, always ready to help out a friend in need.
Jun opened the door, pulling Sho in seductively, clothed in nothing but a satin robe. He smashed their lips together, teasing Sho's tongue with his own, quickly pressing a hand deep inside of his tight pants.
"These won't do."
Jun coyly pulled them down, ripping apart the seams as he did so. He grabbed at the throbbing member he knew would be impatiently waiting for him. All the while, Sho couldn't understand what this had to do with his heart being broken. Fed up of the games, he pushed Jun away gently, preparing to ask a few questions.
"Why am I really here?"
"Don't you realize yet? Aiba knows you have a crush on me, this is your present from him."
Sho, mystified in more ways than one, couldn't grasp the meaning of that. His boyfriend wanted him to fuck his friend, so he could be happy? It seemed like nonsense. Sho didn't want to go through with something so petty and disgusting. He pulled his pants back up, brushing off the wrinkles in his shirt.
"No, you're not going anywhere."
"This is nonsensical. I don't encourage one night stands and I won't participate in one. I have a boyfriend."
"Are you saying you don't want this?" Jun crept closer, hand traveling to Sho's hidden parts.
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I have someone I love. A crush is simply a crush, it doesn't mean I want to do anything about it." Sho swatted Jun's hands away.
"That's not what I feel down there."
Jun pinned Sho to the door, his arms above his head, unmoving. Sho's eyebrows creased, he glared at Jun, hating every moment of this game.
"Jun, stop! Stop now!" Sho protested, anger building up in the pit of his stomach. His loins weren't listening to him though, his arousal still growing through the rage he was beginning to feel.
Jun ignored him, licking his palm and continuing where he left off earlier. He pulled at the length between Sho's legs. He wouldn't moan, he couldn't. He was steaming inside, he was burning up with hate.
Jun ignored these signs, thinking it would pass eventually. He continued jerking Sho's hardening member; panting sensually every so often in his ear. He stopped, still holding Sho against the door, spreading Sho's legs with his free hand.
"I know you like this Sho. Don't deny it." And, embarrassed, he did.
He whimpered; guilt pulling at his insides, tearing him limb from limb. He couldn't resist Jun, but he loved Aiba so dearly and he knew this would cause friction between them somehow.
Jun sucked on his middle finger, staring intently at Sho, sliding it with little warning inside of Sho's opening. "Ahh." It hurt so deliciously, he couldn't help but push down on the finger himself. Jun's grin grew, knowing Sho was finally coming around.
After a few moments of sliding it in and out, he pushed another finger in up to his joints. Sho could swear he felt something scratching him, but it felt so hot and he was so close to heaven that he ignored the minor discomfort. (Jun had left his rings on, set on being his sadistic self as always.)
Jun, already hard from watching Sho squirm under him with delight, lubricated himself with a bit of lube he had placed in his robe pocket. By this time, there was no turning back for either of them. Sho still unsure of what he was experiencing, didn't want to go along with it.
But, Jun; hard and impatient, entered Sho aggressively, impaling him repeatedly. He didn't once kiss Sho, this was just sex, nothing more. He held his wrists tightly, slamming Sho down a bit harder on his cock every other time. Sho moaned loudly, but quickly wished he hadn't.
Aiba was his lover. Aiba.
But Jun, Oh Jun. Jun felt so good inside of him and he looked so experienced. He was kind of like a high paid prostitute in Sho's eyes, and that was why Sho never made a move earlier. He knew Jun would do anyone with the slightest attraction to him, he loved himself like that.
They both came; Jun squeezing at Sho's wrists and Sho rubbing languidly at his arousal. Instantly, Jun let go of Sho, tying his robe and heading towards his shower. Sho didn't know how to react. Did this mean they were closer? Did this mean he should break up with Aiba and continue with Jun?
It was all too confusing for one night.
The water dripped in the shower, Jun fixing the temperature just right.
"Let yourself out. Aiba gave me money, but I don't want it. You keep it, you deserved it."
And just like that, it was all too clear. Sho had become the slut. Some useless whore Jun and Aiba could pass around as they pleased. He got dressed rapidly, storming out of that forsaken apartment and back to his own.
It would never be the same between Jun and Sho. He cut all ties with him soon after that night. He broke up with Aiba as soon as he finished telling the story. The hurt they had both caused could never be erased, and seeing them just brought it back.
It was over.
//End//
~Later