Writer's Block: Dear God
There are so many things that I want to ask God. I mean, life itself is a mystery. But I think its supposed to be a mystery, don't you agree? Whats the meaning of finding answers so simply? Whats the meaning behind going the distance to find your answers?
Sure, I'd like to ask God for the meaning of life and why I am the way I am, but I'd much rather find that out on my own. Its an intrisnic quality of a human being to be curious, and the rewards are bountiful upon discovery. And when I say discover, I mean discovering something on your own through pain and trail.
I can imagine people asking God so many "why" questions. Why is there so much strife in my life? Why am I poor? I've worked so hard, why am I still unhappy? Its like a 12-year old boy asking his mother, "momma, why is the sky blue? why do you put on so much make up? Why does daddy get mad like that?" Those questions seem simple, but the fact of the matter is its truly bizarre. Think about it. Why do women put on so much makeup? If God gave us the answer, would you look at makeup the same? Maybe the mystery itself makes us repeat the daily things we do.
I can't imagine someone asking such a simple question to God either. Having a rare chance and you blew it on "when am I going to die?" or, " Who will win the super bowl this year?" Some people live for the super bowl and go far enough to get a tattoo of their favorite team. Whatever floats your boat. The Patriots can suck it.
So, to answer this question, I'd ask God if he can forgive me. Sure, the bible says that God has unconditional love for all of His children, but, as a skeptic of the Bible myself, is his love truly unconditional? If I was created in the image of God, I would love in the way He does. But, I don't. I'm very conditional in the way I love someone. Would he forgive me, after watching all I have done in my life so far? If questions can have a "part B and C", I'd continue it with how I can redeem myself for his forgiveness.
This has nothing to do with my orientation or beliefs on deities and philosophy. I haven't lived life to the fullest, in the name of my wake and creation. I've had a lot of anxiety and fear. I just had an anxiety attack a few weeks ago, and I won't forget it, on Feb. 11th. The reason being that I didn't know what to do with myself when I moved out of state. What do I major in? How do I get what I want? Where should I go? All these questions weighted down on me with such a burden I broke down mentally and was dazed for a couple days. These mysteries is what should make life exciting, but instead, I shriveled up in my shell, which I bet embarrassed God. Have being a full--grown woman, I need to take a stand, confront my family about my second life, and put my foot down.
As I wrote a poem about the lack of achievement for lasting peace in the world, I think of another reason why people would often ask God for peace, as I do so myself (I named this poem Norway):
God Gave us free Will.
He gave us emotion to determine it.
He gave us intelligence when all else fails.
He gave prudence to take care of ourselves.
He gave us weaknesses so we wouldn't overwhelm ourselves.
He gave us many things,
but one.
He didn't give us peace,
we had to make that ourselves.
We have to make that ourselves.
Why do we pray, every day and night,
and for ages,
nothing happened?
Because He gave us so many
wonderful and majestic tools
to make us that Peace ourselves.
Can I be forgiven?
Sure, I'd like to ask God for the meaning of life and why I am the way I am, but I'd much rather find that out on my own. Its an intrisnic quality of a human being to be curious, and the rewards are bountiful upon discovery. And when I say discover, I mean discovering something on your own through pain and trail.
I can imagine people asking God so many "why" questions. Why is there so much strife in my life? Why am I poor? I've worked so hard, why am I still unhappy? Its like a 12-year old boy asking his mother, "momma, why is the sky blue? why do you put on so much make up? Why does daddy get mad like that?" Those questions seem simple, but the fact of the matter is its truly bizarre. Think about it. Why do women put on so much makeup? If God gave us the answer, would you look at makeup the same? Maybe the mystery itself makes us repeat the daily things we do.
I can't imagine someone asking such a simple question to God either. Having a rare chance and you blew it on "when am I going to die?" or, " Who will win the super bowl this year?" Some people live for the super bowl and go far enough to get a tattoo of their favorite team. Whatever floats your boat. The Patriots can suck it.
So, to answer this question, I'd ask God if he can forgive me. Sure, the bible says that God has unconditional love for all of His children, but, as a skeptic of the Bible myself, is his love truly unconditional? If I was created in the image of God, I would love in the way He does. But, I don't. I'm very conditional in the way I love someone. Would he forgive me, after watching all I have done in my life so far? If questions can have a "part B and C", I'd continue it with how I can redeem myself for his forgiveness.
This has nothing to do with my orientation or beliefs on deities and philosophy. I haven't lived life to the fullest, in the name of my wake and creation. I've had a lot of anxiety and fear. I just had an anxiety attack a few weeks ago, and I won't forget it, on Feb. 11th. The reason being that I didn't know what to do with myself when I moved out of state. What do I major in? How do I get what I want? Where should I go? All these questions weighted down on me with such a burden I broke down mentally and was dazed for a couple days. These mysteries is what should make life exciting, but instead, I shriveled up in my shell, which I bet embarrassed God. Have being a full--grown woman, I need to take a stand, confront my family about my second life, and put my foot down.
As I wrote a poem about the lack of achievement for lasting peace in the world, I think of another reason why people would often ask God for peace, as I do so myself (I named this poem Norway):
God Gave us free Will.
He gave us emotion to determine it.
He gave us intelligence when all else fails.
He gave prudence to take care of ourselves.
He gave us weaknesses so we wouldn't overwhelm ourselves.
He gave us many things,
but one.
He didn't give us peace,
we had to make that ourselves.
We have to make that ourselves.
Why do we pray, every day and night,
and for ages,
nothing happened?
Because He gave us so many
wonderful and majestic tools
to make us that Peace ourselves.
Can I be forgiven?