(no subject)
life is stupid.
actually.
relationships are stupid.
because when the other person feels different than you, they notice things more. they take little actions and exagerate them. the bad things you do are amplified.
i dont think i'll ever want to actually get married. i can't deal with one guy for the rest of my life. if i already feel like i'm babysitting when i'm with, how is any other guy honestly that different when it comes down to it? i dont want to have to take care of anyone else for the rest of my life if i can't even take care of myself. i'm obviously not mentally stable right now. i finally broke down and started crying in the middle of mussins fucking driveway the other day. it was awesome. at least jill was there.
it'd be nice if one of these days, i could go out and have a good time and not have anything STUPID to think about in the back of my mind.
last night i did something really stupid. well. i guess i've done worse. but regardless.
i also just want to say that revenge is a bitch. and im sorry you stupid piece of shit... but i've been tolerating you for entirely too long. and i'm sick of you coming into all the WRONG parts of my life. so if you fuck up again. i'm not going to be so nice about it this time. i actually hope you provoke something because i can't wait to just rub this shit back in your face so you know how it fucking feels.
god i'm so bipolar. cuz i wrote that like 20 minutes ago. and now i'm happy again. haha.
god i got so fucked up last night. i think that's my problem. i'm still fucked up.
we actually for the most part only hung out with people that i WANTED to hang out with. cuz idk... some of erics friends are a little.... sketchy?
we sold spanky a bag and ended up smokin a blunt with him in hubbard park during construction. it was great. except for the mad popo's that rode by. then we got drunk real quick at dans. uhhh tricia lyse jake cody berto dan hewitt were there. maybe someone else i'm forgetting? jake was so drunk by like 9 oclock when we came back he was passed out on the couch and they dragged him off the couch and set him on the floor and he like barely woke up and was just chillin on the floor for mad long. then we went back to erics to get more bags. and prevost and hoveyyyyyy came over. i seriously didn't know what to say to that kid the first time i saw him. it's crazy how he was supposed to have no set bail, and AT least 5-15 years in jail. and what do you know, he's out like 2 months later?
and becca and kyle and chad came over too. anddddd then somehow we ended up at jakes again. i'm pretty sure we drove there. but i think eric was as fucked up as i was and i had more drugs in me. then i made him come back to my house and watch family guy with me because i was too fucked up to sit here by myself until i fell asleep. it was a good night as far as getting fucked up goes. but it was a shitty night because there's still bullshit lingering in the air.
actually.
relationships are stupid.
because when the other person feels different than you, they notice things more. they take little actions and exagerate them. the bad things you do are amplified.
i dont think i'll ever want to actually get married. i can't deal with one guy for the rest of my life. if i already feel like i'm babysitting when i'm with, how is any other guy honestly that different when it comes down to it? i dont want to have to take care of anyone else for the rest of my life if i can't even take care of myself. i'm obviously not mentally stable right now. i finally broke down and started crying in the middle of mussins fucking driveway the other day. it was awesome. at least jill was there.
it'd be nice if one of these days, i could go out and have a good time and not have anything STUPID to think about in the back of my mind.
last night i did something really stupid. well. i guess i've done worse. but regardless.
i also just want to say that revenge is a bitch. and im sorry you stupid piece of shit... but i've been tolerating you for entirely too long. and i'm sick of you coming into all the WRONG parts of my life. so if you fuck up again. i'm not going to be so nice about it this time. i actually hope you provoke something because i can't wait to just rub this shit back in your face so you know how it fucking feels.
god i'm so bipolar. cuz i wrote that like 20 minutes ago. and now i'm happy again. haha.
god i got so fucked up last night. i think that's my problem. i'm still fucked up.
we actually for the most part only hung out with people that i WANTED to hang out with. cuz idk... some of erics friends are a little.... sketchy?
we sold spanky a bag and ended up smokin a blunt with him in hubbard park during construction. it was great. except for the mad popo's that rode by. then we got drunk real quick at dans. uhhh tricia lyse jake cody berto dan hewitt were there. maybe someone else i'm forgetting? jake was so drunk by like 9 oclock when we came back he was passed out on the couch and they dragged him off the couch and set him on the floor and he like barely woke up and was just chillin on the floor for mad long. then we went back to erics to get more bags. and prevost and hoveyyyyyy came over. i seriously didn't know what to say to that kid the first time i saw him. it's crazy how he was supposed to have no set bail, and AT least 5-15 years in jail. and what do you know, he's out like 2 months later?
and becca and kyle and chad came over too. anddddd then somehow we ended up at jakes again. i'm pretty sure we drove there. but i think eric was as fucked up as i was and i had more drugs in me. then i made him come back to my house and watch family guy with me because i was too fucked up to sit here by myself until i fell asleep. it was a good night as far as getting fucked up goes. but it was a shitty night because there's still bullshit lingering in the air.