Wobble wobble
Work, personal, social, and wasted... all time... all a balancing act.
Happy early boxing day for me... Fall Out Boy on the 18th.
So I think its happened. My worst fear is pretty damn close to becoming a reality... routine. Go to work... usually a morning shift, go home, chill, go to sleep, wake up, dream about tuesday and wednesday with a faint look towards thursday. I don't even know nor care what the days of the week are anymore. I have one single variable that is keeping me on the fringe of the weather here being the only difference between Portland and Orlando. Hope is again kicking me in the ass and my paycheck is pointless... yup I think this is hidden just enough. I got nothing but time... used to mean that I can sit back and wait for anything... but now all I have is time... and time without patience is as deadly as hope without reason.
I'm perfectly fine and don't let anything I ever "say" ever tell you anything different... I'm just followed by the same result cross country except now the pressure is forced by myself and a damn computer telling me when my breaks are... and that realization is quite the bitter pill... bitter horse pill. Its like try outs... you gave it your all and know that there is nothing more that you can do other than just wait to hear the coaches decision. Except the decision is delayed for weeks or months in advance and you still have to do evaluations during that time or else your automatically cut and as much as it doesn't make sense... try outs are over... as long as you don't quit.
My playing rights got picked up by a new junior franchise in Orlando... can't even make that shit up. And what sucks about this? I couldn't care less about it.
All the comforts of home plus hurricanes, roaches, lizards, rabbits, snakes, fire ants and fake ass palm trees.
Happy early boxing day for me... Fall Out Boy on the 18th.
So I think its happened. My worst fear is pretty damn close to becoming a reality... routine. Go to work... usually a morning shift, go home, chill, go to sleep, wake up, dream about tuesday and wednesday with a faint look towards thursday. I don't even know nor care what the days of the week are anymore. I have one single variable that is keeping me on the fringe of the weather here being the only difference between Portland and Orlando. Hope is again kicking me in the ass and my paycheck is pointless... yup I think this is hidden just enough. I got nothing but time... used to mean that I can sit back and wait for anything... but now all I have is time... and time without patience is as deadly as hope without reason.
I'm perfectly fine and don't let anything I ever "say" ever tell you anything different... I'm just followed by the same result cross country except now the pressure is forced by myself and a damn computer telling me when my breaks are... and that realization is quite the bitter pill... bitter horse pill. Its like try outs... you gave it your all and know that there is nothing more that you can do other than just wait to hear the coaches decision. Except the decision is delayed for weeks or months in advance and you still have to do evaluations during that time or else your automatically cut and as much as it doesn't make sense... try outs are over... as long as you don't quit.
My playing rights got picked up by a new junior franchise in Orlando... can't even make that shit up. And what sucks about this? I couldn't care less about it.
All the comforts of home plus hurricanes, roaches, lizards, rabbits, snakes, fire ants and fake ass palm trees.