Jason!!!

[trickshot44]

hey! im sittin in the spinin room at rabbits and jasons listenin tojasons remix of crawling by linkin park and its so kick ass... ive spent the nite drinknin wit rabbit n threw uplike 6 times, and now jasons home so i am ritin on my live journal listenin to him mix.... he has to come up with 15 mixes by the 30th which is x-it... and me n sarah are goin!!! yaya!!!!!i cant wait im so excited! i missed jason so much in the past week... or more... hes tellin me that i should feel lucky cuz me sarah n faye are the only ones he answers the phone for any more... but he never answeres for me... oh well like i told sarh i gave up on all that either they answer or they dont... wut ever... im tired of trying so hard all the time and getting nowhere but depressed.... im glad i introduced sarah to jason and rabbit... but i feel left out now... like she bumped me out n they like her more than me... if it werent for me than they wouldnt even no each other..... but thats not rite to say... wuts wrong with me? i think i drank so much the truth is comming outa me... im typing so much so fast its crazy... yes... im jealous of sarah... she has the realtionship i wanted to have with jason... but ya no wut wutever... who am i to feel anythin like that... and rabbit n i are good friends...altho she holds a closer spot in his heart..( like jasons) than i do. it makes me feel kinda sad knowing that they would go to her first before me... even after the fact i introduced them and wut not... but now i feel stupid for feeling this way... but ya no wut i need to vent... and when im drinking is no better time thatn ever..... GOD im so pathedic!!! i hate my self rite now... i should feel lucky that i have friends like jason and rabbit .... if it werent for them then i think id go crazy... or maybe i am slowly going crazy again n dont even realize it.... im so lost so confused... i dont know wut to do... and i have no one i can really go to about it... because everyone that means anything to me is more intertwined with each other thatn to care about wuts going on with me anyways... so i shold go to sleep and act like nothing is going on like i always do... and maybe by morning everything will be ok again... unless sum one reads this. which i doubt cuz who cares enuff to do that anyways.... im so ungodly depressed its starting to scare me... i dont understand where all this is comming from... maybe seeing jason and rabbit again... and the fac that the one person i care most about is really sick.... god i wish phil would get ebtter that way he can take care of me.,... i think thats wat i need. i feel so stupid and bad and depressed right now.... i cant pin point y... wish i could... all i can do is keep typing and going on forever about things that are bothering em wont help any one so i think i might go be fore i run outta space or sumthing... and if any one really does read this... well wish me luck with keeping control... imschizophrenic and am in constant abttle with my other self... neways tootles goodbye goodnite see ya later... wut ever
(......... i like dots.........)