.... whats wrong with me?
I dont understand it.... in my last emtry i was totally happy... nothing wrong wut so ever... n after dinner we started to play Texas Hold 'em Yahtzee, and in the middle of the game i get so overwhelmed with this feeling of depression, with these thoughts in my head that arent anything i would ever want to think... things i used to think when i was hospitalized, and after i got out? why does this demon still haunt me? why do i randomly see red and nothing else other than blood splattered on walls when thats not even what is really there...? why is it that everytime this seems to happen, i wanna cut more than ever... i wanna see my own blood like never before? why am i still struggling with this? im happy in my real life so why is the life i cant ever remember things in ( my alter personality) always so angry and depressed and full of anger and pain?