boys make no sense most times
I really need to stop dating Bens.
So I worry that he could talk himself into liking me again. And that I'd be stupid enough to go with it because I want someone to like me. It's a huge worry of mine that I'm still physically attracted to him, because I love those kinds of things. And I know that if he did talk himself into liking me again and he found out that I'd go along with it, he'd do those kinds of things. Which is the LAST thing I really need.
We do the couple-y things too well for comfort sometimes. Talking on the phone for long stretches of time, spending time together for hours on end. And I know he enjoyed making out with me. I'm always kind of relieved every time he says it was a mistake to kiss me, because it makes me feel like as long as he knows and believes that I have nothing to worry about.
And then he goes and tells me things like his cousin's theory that I tease him mercilessly because I never got over liking him. Or he starts getting all quiet and says he's sorry for what he's done to me. I had been teasing him about how I could go longer without talking to him than he could go without talking to me, and he gets all weird about it, says he won't talk about it. We wind up talking about it though, and he says "Honestly, if we decided to do that we could both just end it right here." And that part's true. We're both stubborn enough that we wouldn't ever talk to each other again. And then he says that he can't let go of something that's important to him.
I just worry how important I am to him sometimes.
So I worry that he could talk himself into liking me again. And that I'd be stupid enough to go with it because I want someone to like me. It's a huge worry of mine that I'm still physically attracted to him, because I love those kinds of things. And I know that if he did talk himself into liking me again and he found out that I'd go along with it, he'd do those kinds of things. Which is the LAST thing I really need.
We do the couple-y things too well for comfort sometimes. Talking on the phone for long stretches of time, spending time together for hours on end. And I know he enjoyed making out with me. I'm always kind of relieved every time he says it was a mistake to kiss me, because it makes me feel like as long as he knows and believes that I have nothing to worry about.
And then he goes and tells me things like his cousin's theory that I tease him mercilessly because I never got over liking him. Or he starts getting all quiet and says he's sorry for what he's done to me. I had been teasing him about how I could go longer without talking to him than he could go without talking to me, and he gets all weird about it, says he won't talk about it. We wind up talking about it though, and he says "Honestly, if we decided to do that we could both just end it right here." And that part's true. We're both stubborn enough that we wouldn't ever talk to each other again. And then he says that he can't let go of something that's important to him.
I just worry how important I am to him sometimes.