(no subject)
Leaving St. Louis is the hardest thing I have done in a long, long time. It could be argued that this is why it was a good thing to do. It's important to challenge yourself, challenge your comfort zones, break down emotional muscle so that it can be rebuilt stronger, even more resilient.
Well, fine then. This experience better make me superwoman.
I cannot shake my feelings of regret, of doubt. They haunt me. I have woken up the past three nights at least in complete panic, sheer terror. I fear I am losing my mind again, for the first time since I left for college.
I know that whatever choices I've made, whatever mistakes I've made, I must learn to live with, accept, see opportunities, take them, embrace life, move on. But with a heart so heavy, forward movement is difficult. It's like dragging a sack full of lead.
I have professional opportunities here. I have family here. I have old friends to reconnect with. Why is all I can think of what I've left behind?
Before I left for this internet cafe I sprayed almost a full can of Raid throughout Davis' place in an attempt to kill all the mosquitos. This will probably have to be done every few days, as his walls and windows are full of cracks. Hopefully this is a good first step though.
Well, fine then. This experience better make me superwoman.
I cannot shake my feelings of regret, of doubt. They haunt me. I have woken up the past three nights at least in complete panic, sheer terror. I fear I am losing my mind again, for the first time since I left for college.
I know that whatever choices I've made, whatever mistakes I've made, I must learn to live with, accept, see opportunities, take them, embrace life, move on. But with a heart so heavy, forward movement is difficult. It's like dragging a sack full of lead.
I have professional opportunities here. I have family here. I have old friends to reconnect with. Why is all I can think of what I've left behind?
Before I left for this internet cafe I sprayed almost a full can of Raid throughout Davis' place in an attempt to kill all the mosquitos. This will probably have to be done every few days, as his walls and windows are full of cracks. Hopefully this is a good first step though.