(no subject)
I almost emailed this to Andy, but I've decided I don't want to tell him yet. Mainly because I haven't totally come to terms with this, so I don't really want to have to explain it to someone else and deal with them knowing and asking questions.
I broke it off with Erik yesterday by the way. it was my move, and I'm planning on sticking with it. basically he admitted yesterday that though he does love me, he's still obsessed with her. and for christ's sake, why the fuck should I settle for someone who's obsessed with another woman? I refuse to be so jaded this early in life that I will accept that that's the best I can do. so that's pretty much it... I mean we're gonna still hang out and stuff, but I'm thinking of it as over unless something significant changes with him. which, honestly, I doubt it will. I guess I could be all optimistic or whatever, but I think the reality is that this is just how he is, or at least this how he is with me. And its a shame, I guess, cause he is a really cool guy, and I can tell he has the potential to be a really wonderful partner. but for whatever I don't bring that out in him. so, you know, whatever.
I should add to this post that despite that all this is horribly depressing to me and it breaks my heart that things turned out this way, I know what I've done is right. Through one horrible mistake a beautiful relationship was ruinned. And that blows. But what option do I have other than to suck it up and move on with my life, and try to learn something from all of this?
I broke it off with Erik yesterday by the way. it was my move, and I'm planning on sticking with it. basically he admitted yesterday that though he does love me, he's still obsessed with her. and for christ's sake, why the fuck should I settle for someone who's obsessed with another woman? I refuse to be so jaded this early in life that I will accept that that's the best I can do. so that's pretty much it... I mean we're gonna still hang out and stuff, but I'm thinking of it as over unless something significant changes with him. which, honestly, I doubt it will. I guess I could be all optimistic or whatever, but I think the reality is that this is just how he is, or at least this how he is with me. And its a shame, I guess, cause he is a really cool guy, and I can tell he has the potential to be a really wonderful partner. but for whatever I don't bring that out in him. so, you know, whatever.
I should add to this post that despite that all this is horribly depressing to me and it breaks my heart that things turned out this way, I know what I've done is right. Through one horrible mistake a beautiful relationship was ruinned. And that blows. But what option do I have other than to suck it up and move on with my life, and try to learn something from all of this?