Thinking | I probably shouldn't
I watched a movie last night. It was difficult to watch, to say the least. Millions of people were killed or were killing. It prompted another journal entry. It's under the cut.
People die every day for what they believe is right. Every day that our arrogance continues to exist more and more people feel the incessant urge to basically kill themselves.
I feel bad about this; not because of the nature of the deaths but because I lack both the courage and conviction to put my life on the line for something I believe is right. I won't even fight! I am no saint. I have violent thoughts, but hardly an urge to act on it. Some may believe that this is the ideal human behavior, to admit natural thoughts but have no intention to act. Maybe. Maybe if one wishes to get as far away from the root of human nature as possible.
There is always a fight, always a war, always a side to take. Both sides of the conflict believe they are justified, that they are right. Both sides feel righteous, but in all actuality can anybody feel justified in killing another being if it is not necessary for survival? Mass murderers lack conscious human emotion and those involved in wars, such as Vietnam, with consciences suffer from severe trauma and other psychosomatic mental disorders after the carnage has occurred.
Perhaps it is the natural fear of death that makes us so prone to kill. Maybe if we kill it'll lengthen out time here on earth because somebody else's time was shortened. Another possibility is that murder, or the presence of death will make the end less of the unknown, and therefore something that shouldn't be feared quite so much.
Human nature causes fear of the unknown. My cowardice does not encompass this though. I fear life, and the process of dying, but not death itself. If I am wrong about what happens in the after life, I'll be dead when I find out so I probably won't care. I was endowed, like every member of my species, with a free will. Each person's free will tells them something different. Mine steers me away from fights, prevents me from fearing death. But it also makes me arrogant. I am right. Fighting is wrong. War is wrong. Or maybe that is my cowardice speaking instead.
It's just random ramblings that occur when I stop taking my meds.