Different Christmas, Same Feelings of Unappreciation
I've long felt that my extended family doesn't appreciate me enough, but the large holiday gatherings (or any large family gatherings) really drive that feeling home to my heart for me. I think that they love me, but a lot of times, it seems like they just don't like me, or at least not as much as they like my other cousins. Almost all of my cousins are sitting around and joking in the living room right now, but I'm in my bedroom, writing this update. I've tried to join them in the past, but my contributions to the conversation never seem to be heard, and when I try to be heard, I just get fussed at for being loud, or something like that. It's not that I'm antisocial- that would be my younger sister, I'm very social indeed, but I enjoy being around people who actually listen to what I'm saying more than I enjoy being ignored, or just feeling like I'm being ignored. I don't know what it is about me that really turns off even my own family, but it really hurts. I shouldn't be in my room, looking at pictures of my deceased rabbit to feel good, but I doesn't happen around my family like it seems to happen for the rest of them. I just wish I knew why they don't seem to appreciate me.