Society! SOCIETY!
A group of friends went out to drink. When one of them got drunk, the rest cornered him and asked him about his sexual preference. He tried to dodge the topic, but his friends wouldn't let up. He started crying. His friends wondered why he started crying. "Just tell us," they said. "We won't judge you."
When I found out about this, I got so angry and descended deeper into my I-hate-this-city-I-wanna-go-home rut. I feel that this society (and I apologise for the specificity, but there's definitely a bit of truth to it) encourages a culture of entitlement. Not just in gaining favours, or going around red tape through connections, but even through things like wanting to know a person's sexual preference. That is an extremely personal thing, and nobody should be pressured into telling others details they are not comfortable with. What grated at my nerves the most is that days after it happened, the others honestly could not see the wrong in what they did.
This incident hit too close to home. I'm open about my sexuality, but there are so many aspects of my life that I am often hesitant to divulge to inquiring minds. And when I am asked about these things (many times during family reunions), I imagine myself curling up into ball dying. Nobody is entitled to DEMAND details of personal matters from anyone, especially in such a shameless and flagrant manner. Persuading people to open up intimate details about themselves to you is disrespectful.
I guess when it comes to these matters, I'm pretty good at keeping to myself. Maybe because so much of me is made up of the things society frowns upon. Single with zero kids at 28? Me. Back in Manila after landing a great job in a different country? Me. Fat but frequents the gym everyday? Me.
I sound so condescending and preachy, but it needs to be said. Unless you're committing crimes against humanity, you don't need to explain yourself and your choices to anyone who demands for it, especially if it makes you uncomfortable.
When I found out about this, I got so angry and descended deeper into my I-hate-this-city-I-wanna-go-home rut. I feel that this society (and I apologise for the specificity, but there's definitely a bit of truth to it) encourages a culture of entitlement. Not just in gaining favours, or going around red tape through connections, but even through things like wanting to know a person's sexual preference. That is an extremely personal thing, and nobody should be pressured into telling others details they are not comfortable with. What grated at my nerves the most is that days after it happened, the others honestly could not see the wrong in what they did.
This incident hit too close to home. I'm open about my sexuality, but there are so many aspects of my life that I am often hesitant to divulge to inquiring minds. And when I am asked about these things (many times during family reunions), I imagine myself curling up into ball dying. Nobody is entitled to DEMAND details of personal matters from anyone, especially in such a shameless and flagrant manner. Persuading people to open up intimate details about themselves to you is disrespectful.
I guess when it comes to these matters, I'm pretty good at keeping to myself. Maybe because so much of me is made up of the things society frowns upon. Single with zero kids at 28? Me. Back in Manila after landing a great job in a different country? Me. Fat but frequents the gym everyday? Me.
I sound so condescending and preachy, but it needs to be said. Unless you're committing crimes against humanity, you don't need to explain yourself and your choices to anyone who demands for it, especially if it makes you uncomfortable.