Thanks so much for reading and for such a thorough review :) I must say that I've always been a bit proud of this chapter. Perhaps too proud, but there it is :lol:
I know what you mean about Taisan. It was kinda difficult to write her in this state. But I do have a method to my madness. Taisan hasn't collapsed completely but she has been having a tough time of it lately.
A lot has happened to effect her confidence. Choices she's made in the past. Example: She thought she could treat the Guardian's madness with love and then he tries to blow up the mall and everyone in it. It was she who claimed the Gardian was crazy and incapable of standing trial. And then Amber and Trudy were kidnapped in retaliation. Then Taisan demanded they not give the Guardian up in exchange for the girls claiming he was harmless. And because of her adament refusal to see him for what he truly was, Ned ended up dead.
Add that to all the other bad calls she's made and you have someone who is starting to doubt herself. She still has her beliefs and moral code but it's not as black/white as it was when we first met her. Besides, Taisan has always changed her beliefs to suit her own purposes. And that was fine when she was a kid but she's a woman now and with adulthood comes a lot of doubt and self loathing at times.
I've also added on the stress of this pregnancy and it's hormones. I'm sure you've realized that this baby wasn't planned. And that can reek havoc on the steadiest female. Having been pregnant twice myself, I know how it can turn the strongest woman into a frightened little girl. I saw death threats around every corner. I can honestly say I never felt so vulnerable as when I was carrying my kids. It's scary sometimes even in a normal world. And hers is not exactly a normal world.
Lex is of course playing a huge part in how stressed she is. His unexpected presence has left her extremely off balanced. Soon though you should see her calming down and more of the Taisan we're familiar with will shine through.
I agree, Jay is a hypocrite. One of the things I hate about him. He's also selfish and shameless. I don't think he feels any real guilt or regret about his role with the technos except in the areas where it affects him directly. Ved and Bray. Bray, only because it prevented him from getting Amber. Jay is also melodramatic when he's feeling sorry for himself. Hence the whole techno symbol imagery. Without Ved there, he's able to romanticize their brotherly bond. And as much as I hate all this about him, it is how he feels and how he sees the world. So when I'm writing him, I gotta walk in his shoes. Even if it repulses me.
I also feel that Amber has her fair share of selfishness and hypocrisy as well. At least in the situation with Jay. They've both been extremely self righteous about their relationship with little thought to whom they hurt. And as much as I hate that, it's them so I gotta try and understand it from their point of view.
I don't want to editorialize with this at all. I don't want readers to know who I like or not just by how I write or describe the characters. My upmost goal is to be fair.
I'm pleased you enjoyed the ending of the chapter. I worked really hard on that scene. Took me weeks to visualize it just right.
I don't think your comments are meant to criticize my story. At least not in a bad way. I appreciate hearing what others have to say. I mean, in writing these FF, we only have our own interpretation of the characters and their actions to work with. It's good to hear how other fans see the characters as well. I take it all into consideration and the imput can only improve my writing.
Again, thanks for reading. Chapter eight will be up soon :)
A well, being fair is hard and not everytime achieved in writing, because there always is a subjective pov. But I couldn't tell from your writing that you don't like Jay/Amber as characters much. It was very balanced, and that's not the easiest task! The other characters I'm still waiting to read more about.
I know what you mean about Taisan. It was kinda difficult to write her in this state. But I do have a method to my madness. Taisan hasn't collapsed completely but she has been having a tough time of it lately.
A lot has happened to effect her confidence. Choices she's made in the past. Example: She thought she could treat the Guardian's madness with love and then he tries to blow up the mall and everyone in it. It was she who claimed the Gardian was crazy and incapable of standing trial. And then Amber and Trudy were kidnapped in retaliation. Then Taisan demanded they not give the Guardian up in exchange for the girls claiming he was harmless. And because of her adament refusal to see him for what he truly was, Ned ended up dead.
Add that to all the other bad calls she's made and you have someone who is starting to doubt herself. She still has her beliefs and moral code but it's not as black/white as it was when we first met her. Besides, Taisan has always changed her beliefs to suit her own purposes. And that was fine when she was a kid but she's a woman now and with adulthood comes a lot of doubt and self loathing at times.
I've also added on the stress of this pregnancy and it's hormones. I'm sure you've realized that this baby wasn't planned. And that can reek havoc on the steadiest female. Having been pregnant twice myself, I know how it can turn the strongest woman into a frightened little girl. I saw death threats around every corner. I can honestly say I never felt so vulnerable as when I was carrying my kids. It's scary sometimes even in a normal world. And hers is not exactly a normal world.
Lex is of course playing a huge part in how stressed she is. His unexpected presence has left her extremely off balanced. Soon though you should see her calming down and more of the Taisan we're familiar with will shine through.
I agree, Jay is a hypocrite. One of the things I hate about him. He's also selfish and shameless. I don't think he feels any real guilt or regret about his role with the technos except in the areas where it affects him directly. Ved and Bray. Bray, only because it prevented him from getting Amber. Jay is also melodramatic when he's feeling sorry for himself. Hence the whole techno symbol imagery. Without Ved there, he's able to romanticize their brotherly bond. And as much as I hate all this about him, it is how he feels and how he sees the world. So when I'm writing him, I gotta walk in his shoes. Even if it repulses me.
I also feel that Amber has her fair share of selfishness and hypocrisy as well. At least in the situation with Jay. They've both been extremely self righteous about their relationship with little thought to whom they hurt. And as much as I hate that, it's them so I gotta try and understand it from their point of view.
I don't want to editorialize with this at all. I don't want readers to know who I like or not just by how I write or describe the characters. My upmost goal is to be fair.
I'm pleased you enjoyed the ending of the chapter. I worked really hard on that scene. Took me weeks to visualize it just right.
I don't think your comments are meant to criticize my story. At least not in a bad way. I appreciate hearing what others have to say. I mean, in writing these FF, we only have our own interpretation of the characters and their actions to work with. It's good to hear how other fans see the characters as well. I take it all into consideration and the imput can only improve my writing.
Again, thanks for reading. Chapter eight will be up soon :)
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