From the City Leader room down to May's room

[tribal_may]

May left the City Leader room office and went downstairs to her room. She was still bored and considered going out. But where would she go? Market? Casino? She decided she'd rather be bored in the Mall than out. She took the nightdress and unrolled it, placing it behind a screen in the corner of the room. She then came back out and actually

Comments

[_dax]

Dax couldn't move, he felt glued to the spot, looking down at her, and he felt the guilt in his stomach, he had to atone for his sins, but she did not. "I could never learn to live with you getting that," he couldn't think of the right words, his guilt was quickly turning to anger. He was so mad, that he had caused that inadvertently, that she had learned to live with it, no one deserved to be treated that way, why fight? "Yeah I believe that about you," he offered, allowing himself a soft chuckle. He ran his thumb down her unaffected cheek, but that sad look crept back onto his face and he felt as if he had to get away, he had to end it before she broke his heart. "May I," he shook his head, "I don't want to be the cause of unrest, for any reason, and I don't want you to learn to live with it, or to be in scuffles because of me, that's," he shook his head a bit more vehemently, "it's just wrong. I won't put you through that," he looked down at his feet, why weren't they moving? Why weren't they obeying his command to turn around and leave? Why couldn't he walk away?

[tribal_may]

"If you were led to believe that living in the Mall was gonna be a bed of roses..." She shook her head. "The MallRats always argue. And don't tell me livin' with the Vultures was all happy families. And you're not putting me through anything." She didn't like this turn of conversation. What was he getting at? "Dax, last time I checked my face was atleast 5 feet above where you're looking right now." She reached out and lifted his head, fingers under his chin. "What exactly do you think you're putting me through, Dax. Cuz the way I see it, nothing's much changed from what it normally is. So, what's the problem?"

[_dax]

Dax continued to shake his head, his mouth twisted into a wary half frown, it didn't matter if they always fought, that didn't matter, what mattered was May getting into fights about him, that was wrong, he wasn't going to let her do that, to let others do that to her. He felt strangely protective of her, if he'd been there for the entire thing, he was sure if he'd heard it all, he wouldn't have been as apologetic to Trudy. He flinched when she crabbed his face, lifting his chin, and his eyes shifted away from hers, he couldn't take being on the spot, and he couldn't break anything off with her. He was weak, Shae was right, Charles was right, the Guardian himself was right, Dax was a weak little boy, and he never used his brains, a simpleton. He closed his eyes tight, fighting back tears, guys didn't cry and he wasn't about to start, and when he opened his eyes they half glared to contain himself, looking at her beautiful face. "No, I'm not asking it to be happy families and a bed of roses, but I refuse to let my past interfere with your life. I don't care if you fight with every Mallrat every day over every little thing, I don't want people to attack you because of what I have done, it's not your responsibility!" He pulled away from her, forcibly and turned, his back to her. "Just say goodbye and get it over with," he said in a barely audible whisper. "I should go," he said a bit more forcefully, heading for the curtain.

[tribal_may]

May stared at him in shock. What? What...she wasn't sure she'd heard him right. He was upset because he didn't want her to get into fights because of him. And what? Say goodbye? What was that about. "You stop right there!" She snapped and moved to plant herself firmly in his path. She couldn't believe this. And she wasn't sure why she was so upset over it. "I don't know what idea you've got in your head, Dax. I don't how you think. But if you think I'm going to let you run away from this you are so wrong!" She could feel angry tears cramming up behind her eyes as she glared back at him. In less than 24 hours he'd gone from just being someone she needed for one night to someone she had hoped would stay around. For awhile. She hated the fact even more that he was using her as an excuse to leave. "Because let me tell you how it works. If you run away now you'll be running away for the rest of your life. No matter what the excuse you use, it still will be running away! Do really want to do that? Because if you do you've let them win, Dax! You're better than that!" She was beginning to shout. How could he use her as an excuse to leave? Was that really what this was all about? Or was he just using the fight as an excuse to say 'Hey it was fun, but that's done now.' The idea made her furious.

[_dax]

He should have expected it, he should have known she'd get in his face, but having her move so quickly to be in his way shocked him. What was she doing? His face took on a new confused look, his mouth hanging open a bit, listening to her barrage of words, he didn't understand. She wasn't going to let him run away from this? So then...he was so confused, this was not what he'd expected. How could she continue to care after all of that, to be so nonchalant about a fight, to not blame him and hate him for having brought that into her life? He sank back into his heels as she continued, her words made sense, if he ran away from everything then he was that weak little boy, he'd always be running away, but right now he was angry with himself, and he didn't understand why she was angry about this and not the fight. He looked at his feet, trying to get his brain to move, to think, faster, give a response. When he looked back at her face, the angry eyes, he looked even more guilty and sad, if that was possible. "I just want you to be happy, May. I don't want anything I do to be the reason you're not. I don't want you to be attacked and fighting because of my choices. I just want you to be happy," he reiterated, firmly, "and if I take away from that in any way, well," what? He didn't even know, he didn't want to leave her, he didn't want to walk away, he expected that's what she wanted from him, she would some day surely. It had only been a few days, one night, why was he feeling this way, so strongly? He was a fool, he'd always been a fool for love, and he was always wrong too. He let out a soft sigh, his eyes moving from the floor to her face, trying to understand just what was going on, what he was supposed to do now.

[tribal_may]

May continued to glare, her hands fisting at her side. She felt like punching him. Wondered if that would even get through to him. His words. He only wanted her to be happy. He didn't want her getting into fights with the MallRats because of him. In one way it was a sweet idea, in another just totally unrealistic. MallRat women were notoriously protective and catty about their men. And she guessed she had turned out to be no different. Wait...could she really call him her man? She wondered what he would think of that? And besides, it had been one little scuffle. With Trudy who was...well...only being Trudy. If anyone else had planned on taking anything out on her they would have at the party last night. Or at some other point during the day. Was Trudy the only one who didn't know about Dax? She'd thought Amber had made it pretty clear last night at the dinner table. Somehow it seemed it had been missed by some.

"You think walking away is going to make me happy?" Maybe he was being sincere, but right now she couldn't say she was thinking straight. He was trying to leave. Even now it seemed he was more apologizing before walking out than really fighting to stay. "I thought you were differnt. You've had your fun and now it's over. Is that it?" She couldn't keep the tears back much longer. "And here I've been acting like an idiot all day thinking about how you made me feel like I was something worthwhile. Something special. You shouldn't act like that to a girl you only want for a night, Dax. They might think they're..." She cut herself off, unable to meet his eyes now. How could she have been such an fool thinking...that maybe he had wanted more too. So what had the stereo been? Payment for services rendered? Well, she certainly had shown him a good time. Guess it was worth a stereo. Maybe she should punch him.

[_dax]

Dax was shocked at her words, and then he groaned inwardly, he had dug himself a hole now, how could she think that? He knew how, god what an idiot! "May!" he shook his head, he wanted to hold her close and hug her tight but this morning she'd accused him of not wanting to be seen with her and then gotten annoyed when he'd tried to kiss her to prove that wasn't it. Now he had to think, and fast, of what to do, what to say, and he wasn't exactly a think quickly on your feet type of guy. He stood there for a few minutes, befuddled, watching her, he could hear the tears in her voice, he could feel them hanging in the air, in her demeanor. How horrible of him to make her feel that way, he hadn't made her happy at all but quite the opposite and he felt like a complete jerk. "You are special, May, you're incredible, you deserve a man, someone who won't," what? He had no idea, why wasn't he good enough for her again? Why didn't he meet the criteria of the perfect man for her?

"Listen, last night was incredible, I would give everything I have, I would fight a thousand fights to worship you again, I would do it every night if you let me. I wasn't using you, I would never do that, believe me when I say that," he couldn't resist, it pained him to see her like this, and he reached out and pulled her to him, holding her, unwilling to let her go even if she struggled, she could hit him, she could scratch and bite and claw at him, he'd take whatever she dished out. "I," Dax took a deep breath, trying to get his words in order, "I thought you wouldn't want to, that this wasn't worth it. I haven't been so, I've always been wrong when it came to women, I never do the right thing, or know what to say. I've lost a lot before because I was blind and didn't see, I," it almost came out as a scoff, "I didn't think after one night that I could feel this way," god was he really going to admit it? No, probably not, not completely anyway, "But you have been, incredibly kind, and friendly, and warm, and everything to me since I've been here, and I don't know why, I don't know what I did to earn that, I am grateful. I guess, I don't know, I want to protect you, and if being with you isn't protecting you then I thought, you know, walk away. I thought you'd want me to, I don't understand," he was confused wasn't he? He ran his hand up and down her back, "Please don't cry, I'm sorry I, for what I've done, for everything, I just expect the worst I guess, I didn't mean to make you think that you are anything less than wonderful," he kissed the top of her head again. "I do, you know, I understand if it's too much, I understand if you want me to leave, I do, whatever you want May, just tell me," he spoke softly, and kind of into her hair, nervous and scared of what she would say.

[tribal_may]

May at first tried to push away from him. What was he up to? She couldn't decide anymore. She'd never known a guy to talk so much in her entire life. Everything he said confused her. She couldn't figure him out. Somewhere in his long winded jumble she picked up that he had wanted to leave because he thought it would be best? To protect her? That he wasn't worth it? Worth what? A little scuffle with Trudy? It didn't make sense to her at all. That kind of logic just didn't exist in her world. She stood still in his embrace, thinking as she looked up at him. She wasn't going to tell him what to do. He'd had enough of that in his life. He had to start making decisions for himself. For what he wanted to do. "You know what." She slid her hands up his chest, realizing fully for the first time that he'd changed shirts, and wound her arms around his neck. "You talk too much." She pulled his head down to kiss him on the lips.

[_dax]

Dax pulled her close to him, pressing his lips to hers firmly in response. He'd never talked that much with anyone, he'd never been that open and honest, he was still confused and he'd just let it all out, laid it all before her and now she was kissing him. What did that mean? He didn't care, she wasn't hitting him, she wasn't screaming at him or throwing shoes, she was kissing him, he couldn't think when she did that. He slowly pulled back from the kiss and leaned back to look at her, a blank look on his face, and then relief, and he licked his lips and put on a crooked half smile. She was so different, he had to stop imagining the worst, that she'd do him like Shae had, he had to stop comparing them. May was amazing and incredible, and Shae was a...not so good person. He didn't have anymore words for her, he just shook his head and kind of chuckled, unsure of what to do, moving his hand to her face, cupping the side that wasn't red and carressing the skin. "Do you want some ice or something?"

[tribal_may]

"Huh? Oh." She gestured vaguely towards the side of her face Trudy had slapped. "Nah. I mean it stings a little, but really no big deal." She gave a shrug. She felt at an impasse. Where to go from here? She couldn't ignore what had just happened, with Trudy or Dax. But if she brought it up again she was afraid it'd spook him. It still confused her. His reasoning. "I don't think I'll ever understand how you think, Dax." She sifted her fingers through the hair over his ear. "You've got some pretty strange thoughts in that head of yours. Atleast they're strange to me. The guys I've known are just looking for the next girl to get off on. Or if they do care, they're grateful the girl can handle herself in a fight." She placed a finger against his lips to silence any protest. "No matter what the reason behind it."

[_dax]

He scoffed behind the finger but pursed his lips and kissed it instead, reaching up to take her hand, lacing his fingers with hers as he moved her hand away, leaning down to kiss her forehead. He didn't know what to say, he thought strange thoughts? He'd never heard that before, stupid yeah, slow of course, but strange? "We both have a lot to learn about each other, but one thing you need to know right now is I am never just looking for the next girl to get it on with, I dunno guess I was taught different things," he shrugged a bit and pulled back, looking down at her. He didn't care if May fought, she was just that kind of person he knew, sassy and determined and strong, she knew what she wanted, and she wasn't weak, not like him. He just didn't want her fighting over his mistakes, but he was learning now that he couldn't convince Mallrat women of anything, and they weren't going to listen to him anyway. She was special to him, she meant so much to him, she was the bright light through the clouds, her smile was implanted on his mind and he felt as if it could get him through anything. God what a sap, what was she doing to him? Dax blinked a few times and shook his head, amused, he wanted her to be happy and safe and he was sucking at doing that already, he'd just have to try harder. His eyes shifted to the place he'd left the stereo, had she seen it yet? He didn't want to ask, it seemed awkward, but he was dying to know as he shifted his eyes back to her and gave her a soft smile.