Deeper
I read another 100 pages of Lord of the Rings. I'm on page 264 right now. Its a shame that the movie had to come out and ruin it. Now people will watch those horrible movies riddled with plot holes, and not bother with the book. There is so much meaning and power to the story that is lost now.
On a lighter note, I have been getting more into Death Metal recently. Nile and Behemoth really have my attention. Suffocation and Cryptopsy dont download well, I may have to actualy buy one of their cd's. I plan to make a nice mp3 mix of Behemoth, Nile, Annorexia Nervosa, Emperor, Opeth, Suffocation, and Cryptopsy. I'm taking it one cd at a time. Luckily for me everything by Nile downloaded perfectly from Bitcomet, their cd 'Annihilation of the Wicked' has my attention right now.
I like listening to the Devil's Rejects Score when I read lord of the rings, it gives the book a more menacing and real feel to it. That was the first movie I liked in theaters since Sin City, I almost cried at the end. And to think that was just the edited version after the MPAA took a shit on it. It's almost sickening to think of the beauty they Scarred.
Collage starts soon, I have no Major, no scholarship, and all the money I worked for this summer will be eaten up in the system. I missed first registration and have to rely on what is left over in late registration. I wont be able to keep my job when school starts so I will have no money either. I really hate what money does to humanity, its a shackle that keeps most people from enjoying life. Its horrible, but sadly its needed to survive in this place. This will be my last week of being relativly carefree. Which is ironic because my birthday falls on this week. The months ahead are going to be horrible.
Martins death is something I still can't comprehend. To think of all his potential and how it was all gone in that second. And yet I'm still here just slowly sinking lower. I loved working on plays behind the scenes, but I left it to pursue something I hate now even more than I hated then. Now I have nothing to show for it, no hopes, no future, just a brain too damaged to write anything worth printing and the thought that I can never go back. It really should have been me who died in his place, and it should have been Martin giving a eulogy at my funeral. But the thing that troubles me more than anything is how natural this all feels, when I heard he died, it just seemed right somehow. I can't explain it, but its like that feeling I get when I experiance something and remember that I had a dream about it happening a year before. Like everything here has happned before, it scares me more than anything because of what that might mean about what happnes when people die. And that I have to go there and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
To not end this entry on such a hopeless note. I hope that when I die, someone will make my Lord of the Rings screen play into a cartoon, maybe just a south-parkish cartoon. So that everyone who likes those movies can see all the flaws that for some reason they choose not to see. I'm thinking now of a woman from Ripley's Believe it or not, and her mad obsession over gollum from that movie, someone should smack her.
On a lighter note, I have been getting more into Death Metal recently. Nile and Behemoth really have my attention. Suffocation and Cryptopsy dont download well, I may have to actualy buy one of their cd's. I plan to make a nice mp3 mix of Behemoth, Nile, Annorexia Nervosa, Emperor, Opeth, Suffocation, and Cryptopsy. I'm taking it one cd at a time. Luckily for me everything by Nile downloaded perfectly from Bitcomet, their cd 'Annihilation of the Wicked' has my attention right now.
I like listening to the Devil's Rejects Score when I read lord of the rings, it gives the book a more menacing and real feel to it. That was the first movie I liked in theaters since Sin City, I almost cried at the end. And to think that was just the edited version after the MPAA took a shit on it. It's almost sickening to think of the beauty they Scarred.
Collage starts soon, I have no Major, no scholarship, and all the money I worked for this summer will be eaten up in the system. I missed first registration and have to rely on what is left over in late registration. I wont be able to keep my job when school starts so I will have no money either. I really hate what money does to humanity, its a shackle that keeps most people from enjoying life. Its horrible, but sadly its needed to survive in this place. This will be my last week of being relativly carefree. Which is ironic because my birthday falls on this week. The months ahead are going to be horrible.
Martins death is something I still can't comprehend. To think of all his potential and how it was all gone in that second. And yet I'm still here just slowly sinking lower. I loved working on plays behind the scenes, but I left it to pursue something I hate now even more than I hated then. Now I have nothing to show for it, no hopes, no future, just a brain too damaged to write anything worth printing and the thought that I can never go back. It really should have been me who died in his place, and it should have been Martin giving a eulogy at my funeral. But the thing that troubles me more than anything is how natural this all feels, when I heard he died, it just seemed right somehow. I can't explain it, but its like that feeling I get when I experiance something and remember that I had a dream about it happening a year before. Like everything here has happned before, it scares me more than anything because of what that might mean about what happnes when people die. And that I have to go there and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
To not end this entry on such a hopeless note. I hope that when I die, someone will make my Lord of the Rings screen play into a cartoon, maybe just a south-parkish cartoon. So that everyone who likes those movies can see all the flaws that for some reason they choose not to see. I'm thinking now of a woman from Ripley's Believe it or not, and her mad obsession over gollum from that movie, someone should smack her.