Fanatical 15
Fanatical
Part 15
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/OMC
Summary: Alexander loves Orlando Bloom. He’s Orlando’s number one fan and he is determined to make Orlando love him.
Warnings: Stalking, kidnapping, non con but no rape or violence.
A/N: Though this is a dark story there will be a happy ending . Also I think I changed tenses somewhere but I’m not sure.
Disclaimer: The only person I own is Alexander. I make no claims on Orlando’s life and I don’t know him. All I know is that he is a sexy Mo-Fo
I looked this over but there might be some grammar mistakes.
Beta: She hasn't come back yet so I'm posting
Two more months later
Orlando was happy he was finally alone. For the last three months his family and friends had been smothering him with attention when really all he really wanted was to be alone. Therapy wasn’t going as well as he hoped. He was tired and he was angry and he was through with Viggo and his views on what happened. Who were these people telling him how to feel and what he should think? No one else was there with him. No one else experienced Alexander so no one else had the right to speak of him. The only person he really wanted to talk to any more was Billy.
Billy hated Alexander, Orlando knew that, but he didn’t cringe every time Orlando mentioned him. Billy tried to understand where Orlando was coming from and he tried not to stress Orlando out even more. Unfortunately, Viggo wouldn’t let Orlando alone with anyone.
So Orlando was forced to kick everyone out, including Billy, just so he could breath. He sent his mother and sister home though he suspected they were really in a hotel some where waiting for Viggo to call them and tell them to come back. He sent Dom and Elijah out to work again. Though he was flattered his friends would rather sit and hold his hand, he knew they had to work and they had to get over this so he could get over this. That only left Viggo, who had no where to go and Billy who had nothing to do but wanted stand by Orlando.
Orlando laid on the bed and closed his eyes. He still hadn’t heard from Lex and he wasn’t sure if he was happy or sad about that. He wanted to talk to him, he loved him, but he was so angry at him and this therapist was telling him everything was fine. Everything he felt was fine but how could that be? How could it be fine to hate the person you love?
The sound of the phone ringing forced him to open his eyes. “Hello.”
“Hey baby.”
“Lex?!” Speak of the devil. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. I miss you.”
Orlando sighed. “I miss you too.”
There was a wince on the other end on the line that Orlando couldn’t see but some how felt. “Are you sure?” Lex asked. “You don’t sound like you miss me.”
“I do Lex, it’s just things have changed. I’ve changed.”
There was a silence in the air that was filled with intense emotion and fear. They were scared of each other and scared of themselves. “What do you mean? I love you and you love me… right?” Lex finally dared to say.
Orlando wanted to cry. He didn’t know what he felt and he felt bad for Lex being so far from anything and hearing this. “Lex look, I don’t think… don’t call me anymore alright. When I’m ready, I’ll call you.”
He hung up before Lex could say anything and broke out in tears. If he hated this man so much was did hurting him hurt so much?
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“Alexander, the nurses said you weren’t eating anything. Is everything alright?” Henry heard this morning that Lex missed dinner, breakfast and now lunch and they were concerned because he hadn’t left bed. He was called in to talk this man out of starving himself.
“I’m just not hungry.”
“Are you also too tired to leave bed? It’s two in the afternoon.” Henry was leaning on the door frame hoping that just his word could effect this man enough to get up.
“I know what time it is. No where in my sentence does it say I have to get out of bed.”
“I figured you’d be happy. Your three months are up and you can call Orlando.”
“I did already.”
“And?”
“He didn’t want to talk to me.”
It suddenly became very clear. “I see.”
“Do you? Isn’t this what you wanted, Orlando to be mad with me?”
Henry stepped further into Lex’ room and sat in a chair near his bed realizing that he had to . “Yes. I wanted him to be mad because that is healthy. Now that he has comforted his feelings he will be able to deal with them and move on.”
“And if he wants to move on without me?”
“That is a risk that you will have to take Lex. That is a risk that everyone takes in their relationships.”
Lex stayed quiet. He hoped Orlando would call him back soon. He wanted to talk to him and to apologize for stealing him from his family. He had to explain. There was no telling what those people were telling him. He had to get out or find a way to contact him. He couldn’t call him or go to him so maybe he could write a letter. He could send a letter! Of course there was no guarantee that Orlando would open it and read it but he had to get his feelings across some how.
“Maybe I could write him a letter.”
Henry sighed. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Lex finally turned to look at his therapist. “Why?”
“Because he asked you not to contact him.”
“No he said don’t call him.”
“Same difference.”
“But if he knew…”
“You need to give him time Lex. Just wait to see what happens.”
“But while I’m waiting he could be drifting further away from me.”
“That is something everyone goes threw Lex.”
“No, no it isn’t. When someone you love drifts from you, you try to stop it. Why are you denying me that?”
Henry stood up sensing the coming conflict. “This is a special situation Lex..”
“NO IT ISN’T!” Lex yelled as he got out of the bed. “It isn’t special. It’s love. A love just like everyone else’s. I don’t need your permission to write a letter. I will write a letter to Orlando and he will hear my side. There are at least ten people speaking against me and no one speaking in my favor. Of course he’s going to start hating me. I can’t lose him Henry and not because I want to control him or make him love me. If he’s going to hate me it’s going to because of what I did to him, not because of what other people tell him about me.”
Henry blinked. “You’d be alright if he never wanted to speak to you again his decision wasn’t tainted.”
“No, I’d be devastated. But at least I’d know he felt that because I hurt him and not because Viggo convinced him that I’m evil.”
Henry still thought the letter was a bad idea, but he went to get the pen and paper anyway.
________________________________________________________________
“So what do you want to do tonight?” Billy asked as he put Orlando’s groceries on Orlando’s counter. “I’m thinking beer and more beer and maybe a movie?”
Orlando smiled at the beer part. “Sounds good.” This was the first day that Viggo had something to do so couldn’t be in Orlando’s face and he and Billy were going to celebrate. “Hey, have you seen a batch of mail around? I think Viggo is hiding any bad news from me and I want to make sure all my bills are getting paid. He acts like I’m a child.”
“He’s just trying to help. You should check his room.”
“Alright, I’ll be back.” Orlando left Billy to unpack and went into his spare room where Viggo was sleeping. His room was a mess. Paintings and pieces of paper lay scattered on his tables and floor. Orlando was a neat freak, there was no way he could sleep in a room like this, but Viggo was crazy like that.
He searched the dresser and his closet before he came across a show box with his mail under the bed. He rolled his eyes and sat on the floor as he looked through his stuff.
Most of it were bills and some junk mail but there was one letter that took Orlando’s breath away. A letter from Lex.
The envelope was opened indicating that Viggo read it and deliberately hid it from him. He breath came out in a puff and he hurridly opened the letter.
Dear Orlando:
I don’t know if you even want to talk to me or if you’ll even read this, but I had to take a chance. I miss you so much. I wanted you to know that I understand that I was wrong and I understand why you are mad at me. I hurt you and I scared you and I had no right to do it. Yes, I did it because I loved you and I knew you wouldn’t give me a chance had I tried to pick you up like a regular person, but what I put you through and what I put your family through is unforgivable.
I understand why you don’t want to talk to me right now. Perhaps in your sessions they have reminded you of the fear I put you through the same way they are reminding me of it. You have to think and I understand, but I want you to know that for me nothing’s changed. I still love you and though I am sorry that I caused you fear and I can’t feel sorry for showing you love or for getting your love in return. I will never regret that.
I also wanted you to know that it is okay if you don’t want me. I caused that by causing you fear and pain. I just want to hear it from you Orlando and I want you to be sure about it. I want to make sure that it’s your decision not to have me and no one elses. Your family wasn’t there with us Orlando, no one was, they aren’t gong to understand what we went through together. Only you know what you feel and I’ll respect that, even if it will kill me.
I love you Orlando, know that if nothing else. I never meant to hurt you all I’ve ever wanted to do was love you and if you allow me to I will take care of you forever. I hope that you respond to this, I just want to know what’s going on in your head. You aren’t alone at being confused, I am too. And you aren’t alone in life at all. I’ll always be here Orlando. I’m sorry. Please forgive me and if nothing else write back so I know you are alright.
I love you and I’ll eagerly await your response.
Much love;
Lex
Orlando teared up. How could Viggo hide this from him. All this time he thought Lex was fine with the split. He knew he told him that he didn’t want to speak to him but he thought Lex would make one more attempt and when he didn’t, Orlando felt it was over. He would leave this difficult part of his life alone and move on, but Lex hadn’t moved on. He was willing to stay and help him through it. Orlando huffed. Viggo had no right to deny him this apology. He had no right deny him, if nothing else, closure.
He was angry. He was angry and he wanted see Lex.
With tears still running down his face, Orlando returned to the kitchen where Billy was already cracking open a beer.
“Orlando what’s wrong?”
Orlando held up the letter. “A letter from Lex.” Billy stood up and took it from Orlando. “Viggo hid it from me.”
Billy read it and then sighed. Viggo had no right to hide the letter, but he could understand why he did. Yes, this letter would be the one that would bring Orlando back to Lex. Billy was face with a hard decision. He could either agree with Viggo or agree with Orlando. “Do you want me to take you over there Orlando?”
“You would do that? Despite the fact you hate Lex?”
“I’d do anything for you Orlando. What I feel for Lex means nothing. You mean everything to me. I don’t like him Orlando but if he’s willing to apologize and you are willing to accept it then there isn’t anything I can do. I’ll take you if you want me to.”
Orlando smiled. “I want you to.”